Sweetly Addicted
by LovesTheHeat
Summary: A Jared and Kim story. “Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do, will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, will never...never forget it.” - Curtis Judalet
1. Chapter One: Kim

_**Update – December 20, 2009:**__**I have changed my penname from **__Little Black Dresses__** to **__SunAu.__** These are my stories; I haven't stolen them from anyone. I hated my penname and it got to the point where I needed to change it. I'm sorry for the inconvenience and my indecisiveness. **_

**Sweetly Addicted: **

Chapter One – Kim Who:

_Normal – (adj.) usual; healthy; occurring naturally _

I'll admit that I'm not anything special. I'm part of the backdrop of what a normal family is, and what it should be.

There's a mom who does too much for her family and is hardly rewarded when mother's day arrives. Working the night shift at the little hospital as a nurse, she comes home to messes created while she wasn't there. She stresses over the late bills, taxes due, and the loans that still needed paying off.

A dad, an average Joe teacher at the local junior high – complete with long hours and a wimpy salary to show for all his hard work.

Anna, the older sister worth looking up to. She's more of the cool, popular, everyone-wants-to-be girl. A football playing boyfriend and hourglass curves with silky, chocolate colored ringlets tossed over her shoulder. She has the brains and the life.

Maybe my family counts on the fact that we are, the example of what a perfect family should be – with our little yellow house, green lawn backyard, and a stray black cat names Felix. All we're missing is the white picket fence.

My mom is into all the juicy gossip that floats around the La Push reservation. My dad tries to keep out of the gossip and hopes that nothing will turn around on us and make us the subject of all the pointing and whispering. And Anna. Her social image is too important to mess with, or even jeopardize.

I'm, therefore, the constant disappoint of this image important family.

After the perfect older sister, there's her little sister – the invisible, nerdy, paint geek who wins all those stupid, social trashing awards the school offers in attempt to bring the art out of the student body.

Me.

I'm that girl that everyone either knows as the nerdy, paint geek that gets all the good grades and, therefore, is the ideal lab partner that everyone scrambles for when lab day comes around because she'll guarantee your good grade. Or, even if you've had every single class with her since the elementary days, you still don't know her name girl.

I'm also that girl that everyone bumps into in the hallway, books flying and being ricocheted off things, and doesn't say sorry to because they either can't find the time to talk to "the weird, quiet girl" or they just don't notice they've even bumped into me – which, in turn, makes that worse. I'm always hoping for the latter.

There are no curves to follow, or silky hair for hands to want to run through. Just dull lines and springy, out of control curls that I can't bother with. I'm the same tanned color like everyone else, and my eyes aren't anything special. I'm a teacher's pet, principal's golden girl, which I guess means he doesn't know I exist, and the best friend of the band geek really helps me meet that nobody image.

Jenny, the hand-me-down clothes, playing the flute since she was eight, only child, never social enough to make more friends than me, girl is my best friend. While she dreams about her prince charming, she doesn't have the guts to even look at him. She's all I really have to eat ice cream on the pier, walking the beaches looking for beach glass, or making angles in the green grass in the neighbor's lawn with. She's the one I throw sleepovers with, and chicken out on the sleepover games with, like prank calls, truth or dare, or the just sneaking out of the house to run through the neighbor's lawn for the thrill of it.

She's the one I tell all my problems too, and she'll understand.

Her parents are divorced after a shocking, vicious break up. Maybe that was what caused Jenny to clam up for good. For awhile, people thought she was a mute from her sudden lack of interest in speaking out.

"He cheated," She whispered to me under the branches of the weeping willow. The tree is in our favorite park, in the lawn just before the rocky shore of third beach. "He cheated on her."

We didn't speak of it again, instead talking about the cute tuba player in the marching band that she was infatuated with at the time. I never got her to say hello to him.

My parents don't fight in public, again, afraid of what arguing would stir up in the world of gossip. But, when my dad comes home late – obviously trying to avoid my mother and her nagging about a second job and what they were going to do about next months bills – they duke it out, raising their voices out of stress and depression that threatens the family daily.

Anna retreats from it all in her boyfriend, Sean. She's never home. And when she is, we don't fight because we hardly interact other than the bland small talk that no one really cares about. The energy required to butt-heads about "you didn't clean up the hair in the sink," or "did you use the last of the conditioner and didn't tell me," or "is that my shirt," or "where's my CD that you borrowed," is too much to spare when we have to worry about personal problems running around in our heads.

So, in a sense, we are strangers in our own home – literally.

Jenny's the one that I tell everything, my problems, my thoughts, and my one and only secret that I'll go to the grave with.

Jenny's the only one that knows about my dangerous infatuation, my obsessive adoration for a boy so out of my league it's a joke that I even like him.

I mean, why would the schools invisible, goody-goody like the bad boy that cuts class, arrives late, jokes around, and doesn't pay attention.

But, I watch and listen anyway. I silently crush hard on the boy I sit next to in third period English, trying not to drool on my notebook while I secretly draw hearts around our names together.

He doesn't see invisible me. Who does?

I hope anyway.

Jared Thail is worth a wish on a star.

_**author's note:**__ My original Jared and Kim story was called _English Class_, but I didn't like how it turned out. This is my attempt at a full length story, so please tell me the truth about what you think about this story. I want to get better. _

_Please review. _

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_


	2. Chapter Two: Mysteries

* * *

Chapter Two – Huh:

_Special – (adj.) unusual or better; held in esteem; reserved; made for a specific purpose _

An average high school student is known for groaning when the alarm signals a start of another school day. 6 am is early when they've studied all night or just stayed up late to watch a favorite TV program. They sleep until the last possible second and make it to class maybe a few seconds before the bells rings, coffee in hand and eyes drooping and bloodshot from the lack of sleep.

I, on the other hand, love to walk up and start the day. It's a chance to start anew. The day is full of wondrous possibility. Besides, I'm not one you could file under the "normal" category.

I'll be the first to admit that I love in routine. My life is one giant schedule that I live to keep in order. My mood becomes erratic and I get flustered and anxious if I'm late or something is not in its place. I do not like flexibility nor am I a "does it for the heck of it" kind of girl.

I hate change.

It's unpredictable and, sometimes, uncontrollable.

I arrive to school a half hour early, after taking one of the total three buses that goes through the reservation from a bus stop that is four blocks from my house.

It's not exactly a pleasant ride. After sitting in a bus for fifteen minutes feeling hot and sticky because the bus driver thinks everyone is suffering from hypothermia, smelling burnt rubber, and something coming off from the creepy guy that always sat in the last seat towards the back, the crowd on the bus gets off relieved that the morning ritual is over – not having to dread getting on the bus again until 2:40.

I meet Jenny by my locker in third hall – after being bumped and not apologized too – and from there we walk to first period. Jenny and I have four out of six classes together. The La Push population is about half of the city of Forks. So, everyone usually has a couple classes' together regardless of what you're taking.

Our first period is History, starting the day with Roman democracy or details about the gory French revolution. It's not the ideal way to start the day – you leave feeling very depressed sometimes.

I don't have second period with Jenny, so we part at the end of the hallway, she taking a left to get to Spanish, while I go right to Art 101 with Mr. Vanderstlye.

Third period is by far my most favorite part of the day. It's the soul the reason why I love school so much.

I leave Art 101 the minute the bell rings, so I can get to English as quickly as possible – not that I love English. Grammar hasn't ever been my strong point or something I enjoy doing.

No, my secret fixation shares the class with me. More importantly, he sits right next to me, center room, and three rows back from the front – which just makes everything thousands of times better.

Jared Thail.

I sit with my notebook and pens out, hands folded in front of me, and my attention focused on the door, waiting.

Jared is usually the last one to arrive to class with 30 seconds left of break – on a good day. He'd saunter in and get greeted from all angles.

"Hey Jared," Janet would say from the left desk closes to the door. She is always chewing a big wade of pink bubble gum and twirling her hair around her finger, batting her eyelashes ridiculously.

"Jared, what's up?" Tom asks from the last row off center. He sits with his feet up on the desk across from him on the left – his best friend's desk, John.

"Jared!" Paul would greet from behind me – he was Jared's best friend.

And so on and so forth.

Jared would slide into the chair next to me, sometimes glancing at me, but not long enough to care – disinterest written all over his handsome face.

I'd then proceed to sneak peeks at him from the corner of my eye. He's too busy to notice because he'd flirt with Sally Parker in the desk next to his on the left or with Darla Keelson in the desk in front of him.

Or, if the girls were boring him, he'll throw notes in the shape of little paper air planes over his shoulder to Paul who sits in the desk directly behind him.

When the bell rings, signaling the end of class, he'd stand up and saunter back out, throwing an arm over Paul's shoulders, snickering and smirking at each other about something or other.

I'd watch him go and then sigh, continuing with my life – my daily routine.

After third period, I really hated school – unless I happened to see Jared in the hallway or after school when he was walking to his car. I'd sometimes see him laughing and joking with his friends at lunch, if he decided not to sneak off campus that day. Then, my day would considerably brighten.

He likes turkey sandwiches without mayo, only mustard.

He will eat Doritos, but prefers Sun Ships.

And, when he goes off campus, he either goes to the Asian place (Panda Express) around the corner, and gets the sweet and sour chicken with Chou Main, or to Taco Del Mar a few blocks up and gets the combo with everything on it except cheese.

He's lactose intolerance.

But, lately Jared had been sick – for two weeks and a day, actually.

I'd doodle in English or actually pay attention since I didn't have anything to watch. I'd worry about him or make up scenarios about us – which always ended with him kissing me and sweeping me off my feet.

Jenny has always thought I was crazy about liking Jared. He was after all, very popular and very handsome. He dated girls like Anna who were women and not _wanna-be's_ that weren't anything special – someone like me.

Of course, Jenny preferred greasy hair and acne, accompanied by a golden instrument of some kind, most likely a tuba or French horn, instead of abs and sexy smirks. She's always telling me that the French horn player in the front row of her band practice always got very jittery when I was around. She says that's how a boy should react to you.

"Does Jared do that when you're around?" she'd ask, quirking an eyebrow.

I'd shake my head and mutter something about "doesn't do that with Sally Parker…"

Jared was too smooth to be jittery anyway.

I was surprised when Jared showed up for class on Tuesday when I'd already ruled the week as Jared free. It was a pleasant surprise.

I was shocked about how different he looked. His chin length hair had been shaved off and if I thought he was tall before, it was nothing like he was now. He must have grown another foot since I last saw him and… wow.

He had muscles – really beautiful, ripple like muscles that you could see the outline of from under his tee-shirt. His child-like lines of his face were gone and replaced by strong angles. His expression went from jovial and jolly looking to serious and calm. His blank expression was_… sexy._

I openly stared like everyone else – I couldn't help it. He was even more perfect than before.

Jared didn't seem to notice or didn't care about everyone's staring and the silence that greeted him at the door. He just walked to his seat next to mine like normal and sat down ready for class to start.

I didn't notice until Paul passed by that he'd also been missing for about a week – no obnoxious complaining about the project we'd be assigned last week. He also had grown and filled out – hair shortened and jaw clenched like he was trying to hold in his short temper.

They looked a lot a like, actually. Like brothers.

When the teacher finally started class, I still was staring at Jared. Everyone else seemed to have gotten over the initial shock. I was… speechless and even more under his spell.

He didn't notice me until he caught me staring about half way through the period, out of the corner of his eye. He glanced at me before doing a double take. His jaw went slack when his smothering eyes met mine.

Me, being embarrassed about being caught, reddened and quickly averted my gaze to the front – only Jared didn't look away like I thought he would.

He continued to stare.

I self-consciously brushed my hair behind my ear and shifted around in my seat. He was making me feel… _naked_. He'd never looked at me this long, or at all, before.

I started wondering why he was suddenly staring at me. My brain went into hyper-drive, off into a lot of flutes and loose ends.

I didn't know what he was playing at, but I was sure I had something stuck in my teeth or something on my face, so I shut my mouth and brushed my face off subtly with my right hand.

But, he still stared.

I glanced at him again out of the corner of my eye and my blushed reddened. He was looking at me like I was an angel or his long lost puppy that he hadn't seen in years.

I started to freak out and at that point I convinced myself that he wasn't staring at me, but someone behind me.I subtly peeked and everyone was either, trying not to fall asleep, doodling, taking random notes, or passing notes to each other. No one was looking over at us.

I chanced another peek at him out of the corner of my eye and my stomach flopped over. He was still staring at me and so attractively good-looking that I forced myself to look forward so I wouldn't make more of a fool of myself.

I jumped suddenly at the feeling of a warm hand, rough and callused, brushing my frizzy curls behind my ear. Jared's big hand caressed my cheek, the look on his face suggesting he didn't believe I was real until he touched me, and his wish had just come true.

I know mine did. I felt like I was going to pass out – Jared Thail was _touching_ me.

"Jared?"

I snapped my gaze away from Jared's and woke to the rest of the world. Paul was leaning over his desk to get closer to us and was looking at Jared like he'd grown another head.

"Jared?" he asked again, quietly.

Jared straightened at the sound of Paul's rusty voice, looking around like he just noticed that there were other people in the room. He turned to see Paul and his mouth started to form words, but none came out. He's eyes flickered to mine.

"Jared what's going on?" Paul's voice was now had a slightly angry tone to it.

"Uh," he looked away and then back to me, as though it were a dream and I wasn't really sitting there. But then, suddenly he stood up.

The class' eyes turned to him. The teacher stopped her lesson.

"Mr. Thail?" she asked, unsurely. The class waited for his response.

"Can – can I go to the bathroom?" Jared asked shakily. His eyes drifted to me, again, but he quickly snapped them away.

"Uh, yes – hurry," the teacher said and Jared practically ran out the door.

Paul stood up, chair wobbling dangerously, and exclaimed, "I'm going to."

The teacher was taken back at the statement but made no move to stop Paul as he thundered after Jared, the door slamming closed behind them with a loud _snap._

The class was still, silent trying to absorb what just happened.

I shifted nervous, running a hand through my hair and taking deep breaths to still my wildly pounding heart. My head was all fuzzy and I felt like I was about to faint.

_What the hell just happened!?_

* * *

_**author's notes:**__ Thank you for all the reviews last chapter. I love hearing from you. _

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I did take the idea off my original story – and you'll find I do that in the next couple chapters, but, like this, they are completely re-done and re-written from _English Class.

_Please tell me what you think of this chapter! __Review!_

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_


	3. Chapter Three: Missing

Chapter Three – Missing:

_Familiar – (adj.) often encountered; acquainted with something; friendly; impertinently intimate _

I missed the bus for the first time. I had to walk home the whole entire four miles in the rain. I couldn't decide what was worse, finding out I had to walk home or finding out I had to walk home in the rain.

And, why now? Was I that preoccupied with my thoughts that I'd become scattered brained? I mean, Jared running out of class after touching me really hadn't happen in forever, but really. It's a big deal, but did I really have to forget my life in order to figure out why the world had turned upside down and popular boys suddenly paid attention to invisible girls? I mean really, I didn't remember this switch I – really…

I hated change. I didn't take change well.

I was soaked to the bone when I finally got home. My head hurt and my breathing was labored, like I was on the verge of a panic attack. Plus, the entire walk home I kept looking over my shoulder from that feeling that someone was watching me, the little hairs on the back of my neck prickling from Peeping Tom's eyes. I'd convinced myself I was being followed home and kept turning around, looking over my shoulder in a panic expecting someone or something to be there. But, there were only lonely garbage cans and mail boxes.

I could feel myself falling apart by the seams. I was going crazy because of stupid Jared Thail and his stupid touching…

I sighed, shaking my head. Even in my head I couldn't admit it was stupid. He was wonderful…

Why me? Why now?

I ran inside my door and slumped to the floor. I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing so I wouldn't have a nervous break down. I clenched my fists in hope to stop the shaking.

"Kim?"

My sister walked in from the kitchen holding the phone, looking at me like I was about to pass out.

"You okay?" she asked, kneeling down to me. She put a hand to my head. "You look really pale."

"I'm – " I hated lying. "I'm fine."

She didn't look like she believed me, but let it go anyway. "I'm going over to Sean's. Just call me if you need anything, okay?"

I nodded, slightly put off about how concerned she was. She never cared before. What's going on?

I practically ran to my room. I needed a nap or something, just to clear my head. Maybe this dream would… go away.

I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes, trying to clear my thoughts. I followed the sound of Anna leaving – the jingle of her keys, the pause in her footsteps as she looked around to make sure she didn't forget anything, the opening of the garage door, the car starting, and she backing away from the house and driving down the street. I took deep breaths, feeling myself relaxing.

The phone rang before I got the chance to doze off.

"Hello?" I asked, glancing at the clock. School got out at 2:30 and it was already four. How long did it take me to walk home?

"Hey Kim," Jenny's voice came through the phone. "Are you okay?"

I frowned. I wanted to point out that she'd asked me a stupid question, but I held my tongue. She didn't know I was losing my mind. "I'm fine, are you okay?"

She laughed like I made a joke. "Oh, I'm fine. You just looked like aliens were attacking the earth all day, so I thought I'd call and make sure you weren't dying in the hospital somewhere."

"Oh, ha," I attempted to laugh, but it came out more like a wheeze. "I'm fine."

"Okie-dokie," Jenny said cheerfully. "See you tomorrow!"

I hung up, flopping back on my back. I scowled at the ceiling, remembering lunch. In fourth period, I didn't have the chance to tell Jenny what had happened during third period, so at lunch it just kind of spilled out of me.

"- and then he left! I don't know what to do or think! What do you think that means?" I said, holding my head in my hands. It felt like my head was going to explode.

Jenny didn't answer because she clearly didn't believe me. She had on her 'that's not possible' face that she got every time she was in denial about something. At that moment, I really hated her logical personality.

"I'm telling the truth Jenny!_ When_ have I _ever_ lied to you?" I exclaimed, throwing my hands into the air.

"But," Jenny scratched her head like she was dealing with a difficult math problem. "But, he's never even _looked_ at you before. Why would he suddenly stare at you like that?"

"I don't know!" I yelled. "That's my point! I don't know!"

I was angry at Jenny the rest of the day that she didn't believe me. But, I couldn't blame her, which made everything much worse. His behavior was very abnormal.

My stomach growled and I clapped a hand to it. I suddenly remembered I didn't eat lunch because I was focusing on not having a panic attack. I didn't feel like eating though. Quite frankly, I felt like throwing up.

I decided to go for a walk. Maybe that would help me clear my thoughts – some fresh air.

"I did just walk _four miles_…" I muttered to myself as I pulled my damp coat back on. I figured since I didn't have any other option, walking would have to do.

Plus, my mom would be waking up soon and I really didn't want to answer to her. She'd be in my face, nosy, trying to get me to spill my guts all over the table for her to turn her hawk like gaze onto. I shivered at the thought.

I started down the street, stuffing my hands into my pockets and not paying much attention to where I was going. I watched my feet and the sidewalk pass under me. Every time I took a step, I could feel the water sloshing around in my shoes. I wondered why I hadn't noticed when I put them one. Maybe because I was so distracted -

Suddenly, I collided with something very solid. And, much to my embarrassment, it turned out to be my very wet, very handsome infatuation.

Jared Thail.

I couldn't breathe.

"Hello," he said quietly in his husky voice. It made me shiver down to the tips of my toes. He was staring at me from under his eye lashes, like he had been during third period. His eyes were intense, peeling my outer layer away so I was _exposed._

"Err," I stuttered. My mouth wasn't working properly and I thought my heart would bounce right out of my chest.

"Uh, sorry about bumping into you," he said suddenly. He looked anxious about something, shifting on his feet, and clenching and unclenching his hands. He finally stuffed them into his pocket.

"I bumped into you," I said lamely. I mentally slapped myself – now my mouth works and it makes me look like an idiot.

Jared smiled slightly. "Well, I shouldn't have been in your way. You looked distracted with your thoughts."

"Uh…" I couldn't speak again, only stare. _Jared Thail_ was _talking_ to_ me._

"What's your name?" He whispered abruptly, leaning towards me. He gaze turned very intense again that I blushed. I was slightly put out that he didn't know my name after all these years.

"K –Kim," I stuttered, looking down at my shoes. I felt stupid.

"Kim," he repeated – rolling my name around in his mouth, tasting all it's consonants and the vowel, before slipping it out like honey, all husky and…

I felt faint.

Actually, I was surprised I was still standing.

"I'm Jared," he said after a moment. I looked up at him confused.

"I know," I said softly, blushing. _Did I really just say that?_

A stunning smile lit his face and a dark eyebrow rose. "You do?"

I nodded reluctantly and played with the zipper on my coat, shuffling my feet.

Jared frowned, running a hand over his shaved head. "How?"

"Uh…" I mumbled, blushing again. _How? Really?_ "Uh, I've known you since elementary school and I sit next to you in third period English."

I chanced a glance up and was surprised to see Jared's expression devastated. He looked like I had just told him he killed his own mother, or something just as tragic.

"You – you what?" he said hoarsely. "I'm – I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I said quickly. I didn't like his self-loathing expression that crumpled his face. "I'm a quiet person. No one really notices me."

His eyebrows rose in surprise and I blushed embarrassedly again, not believing that I was totally telling him that I was a social nobody.

"I – uh…" I tried to save it, but my brain wasn't functioning probably. I mean, I _was _talking to my obsession. And he was so close…

"You seem like a cool girl. Why would anyone who's anyone pass over you?"

I looked up and felt myself swoon. His hazel eyes were making me fall – weak, weak knees and shallow breathing.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked suddenly. His voice was distressed and irritated.

I blushed, glancing around the empty streets. The rain still hadn't let up. There were cold, fat drops running down my back. "I was walking."

"But," he said, eyes flashing. "But, it's raining."

"It's always raining," I mumbled, shuffling my shoes again.

His eyes traveled up and down my body, tracing my nonexistent curves. He made me feel very self conscious – my red cheeks were a reflection from that. I wondered if he liked what he saw.

I dismissed the thought immediately. Of course he didn't. I didn't have any reason for him to look at me and like what he saw.

"You're shivering," he said quietly, voice rough and raw with an emotion I didn't catch.

I knew one thing. I definitely wasn't cold.

"I should take you home," he muttered, taking my hand.

I just about fainted right there.

"Are you okay?" he asked, touching my forehead. "You're kind of pale."

I managed to nod. I couldn't breathe. _Don't pass out, don't pass out, don't pass out…_

"It's okay if I walk you home, right?" he asked suddenly worried. His brow was pulled forward and he stared at me, waiting for my answer.

I nodded again, trying to make myself breath and not hyperventilate. _He was touching me. _

And if that wasn't good enough, _he wanted to walk me home._ I was in heaven.

"You're really hot," I mumbled, noticing his hand felt like it had just been on a stove top. I froze, realizing what I just said. I cursed myself for my uncontrollable mouth. It really was useless.

Jared threw his head back and laughed. "I am thank you."

I felt my cheeks start to burn with my mortification. Though, his laugh was so deep and carefree…

He chuckled at my expression and tweaked my nose playfully, "I know what you meant. The abnormal heat runs in the family."

I smiled weakly at him and let him pull my gently down the street by my hand which was now numb from the tingling sensation he made when he touched me.

I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I was certainly dreaming.

"Are you sure you're okay, Kim?" Jared asked anxiously. His eyes were flooded with his apprehensiveness. The sound of my name from his lips made me dizzy.

"I have a question," I muttered, breathlessly. "Why are you suddenly talking to me?"

He stopped and turned to me, eyes guarded and a sad expression on his face. I immediately wished I could take it back and just nod and enjoy him walking me home and holding my hand.

But, my mouth had to go and ruin everything.

"I'm sorry," he said finally. He looked down at his feet looking very morose. "I'm a jerk."

"No," I said loudly, shaking my head violently. How could he think that? "No you're not!"

He peered up at me under this dark eye lashes with a small smile on his face. "Really?"

I nodded and melted at his feet when a dazzling smile curved his lips. If it was possible, he was even more attractive. I liked his smile a little_ too_ much.

We walked me right up to my front door. I was too enthralled in Jared that I didn't question how he knew where I lived.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Jared asked hopefully.

I nodded, not able to form words.

He smiled again, showing me his straight, white teeth. "See you then."

He stared at me for a half second longer before stuffing his hands in his pockets and striding down the side walk. He looked back and gave me a half-smile – like he didn't really want to leave, before giving me a faint wave and disappearing around the corner.

"I need to call Jenny," I muttered running to my bedroom. I ignored my bathrobe clad mother with her saggy eyes and steaming cup of coffee. I was too enthralled in what just happened. An uncontrollable smile danced on my lips at the thought. "She won't believe this…"

* * *

_**author's note: **__I cannot thank you enough for all the wonderful reviews I got for the last chapter. I was awing and feeling all warm and fuzzy inside just from your comments! You really put me on a high pedestal and I'm so honored and flattered you think that! Thank you._

_I love this chapter and I'm not really sure why. Jared is a sex god, but you already know that… _

_And Kim, Kim just makes me laugh. I have too much fun writing this story. (:_

_I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. _

_Tell me all your thoughts in a… __Review!!_

_I love reviews. _

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses _

_Oh – on a side note – I'm leaving at the end of this coming week for two weeks (Iowa), so by Wednesday you'll get another update (a double update week). I hope that makes up for when I'm gone… (:_


	4. Chapter Four: Friends

_Playlist: I tend to have a couple songs on repeat while I write a story. If you're interested _John Mayer, Justin Nozuk_, _Angels and Airwaves' Everything's magic, Motion City Soundtrack, Guster_, and finally, _Cute is What We Aim For's Curse of Curve_. (And, surprisingly, most of the songs were curtsy of my older brother. And to think, I thought he had no taste in music.) ;)_

Chapter Four – Friends:

_Change – (verb; noun) become or make different; substitute or replace something; pass from one state to another; remove and replace; deepen_

Hannah, my mom, came into the living room with her nurse uniform on, trying to clip on an ear ring. Her hair was already in her sever bun she always wore to work. I'd never liked it that much. It made her look malicious and aged – like my Grandma Heather. She was the type of grandparent that you dreaded to have over because she'd always fine something wrong with you – and try to fix it against your will:

"Your cuticles look horrible, darling!" – and then proceed to take her thick pink fingers that had outrageously red nail polish on them, and dig them into my nails.

"Your hair is just so frizzy, Kimberly!" – and then proceed to take a brush and yank out all my hair.

"Anna! Wearing blouses like that won't get you a nice young man to marry!" – and force Anna into something of hers she brought in her floral suitcases.

"Hannah, when is your husband coming home?" – and the call my dad and start yelling at him for making the family wait to eat dinner (which was promptly at 6 – two hours before we actually got around to eating on a normal day).

I had just finished a very frustrating call to Jenny. She hadn't believed me (predictable) and thought that I was making the walk and talk with Jared Thail up, which was just rude. I'm not_ that_ creative. Usually when I made up scenarios about Jared and me, they were based off movies like _The Notebook_ and other sweet but predictable story lines.

"Kimberly?" my mom asked. She and my grandmother were the only ones that called me Kimberly no matter how many times I'd asked them to call me Kim.

"Yes mom?" I answered quietly. I didn't more from my slumped position on the couch. My thoughts were rushing through my head at hyper speed.

"Perk up, honey. Slouching and moping is unattractive," she said before going off into the kitchen to make dinner before she went to work. "If you want to talk about it, I'm here. There's no reason for you to be like that."

"OK," I muttered, ignoring her. I was thinking about the next day at school. What would happen?

That question and every other imaginable "what if" nagged at me all night. My dad didn't seem to notice my eerie silence, or he just didn't care. Anna kept giving me weird looks like she knew what was going on, but didn't know what to say about it.

oOoOoOo

The next morning, I felt like I had been hit by the bus. I couldn't seem to get one boy out of my head the entire night. Sleeping was just a waste of time since I just laid there, starting at the plastic, glow, star stickers that I suck up on the ceiling after getting them for my fifth birthday. I tried to sketch, but ended up making figures of one tall, dark, mysteries man that, even without all the intimate detail, looked like my infatuation.

In the end, I looked like a zombie with my, already frizzy, hair sticking out like I'd been shocked, my right eye red and bloodshot from the toothpaste that had somehow squirted up, my clothes hanging off me unmatched, and my shoes still wet from the day before.

And to top it all off, someone took the last of the oatmeal.

I was determined to keep this day as normal as possible, and if Jared happen to walk into the routine, I'd deal with it like the mature person I was.

I took the bus as usual, squeezed in the front with everyone else because no one wanted to be the kid that sat next to the creepy smelling guy in the back. I was squished against Max, a kid in my neighborhood. We'd grown up together – mothers in the PTSA together (before my mom took the night shift at the hospital).

"Hey Max," I muttered after the third stop out of the total eight stops the bus had. We picked up Fern Juniper, Terry Johnson, Lily Puckers, and Jason Wentworth at the corner of Western and Caliber Street.

"Hey Kim," he grunted. I was practically in his lap – nothing out of the ordinary.

I got off the bus and walked to my locker, only to fine someone else there, and not my best friend.

Though, I can't say that I was disappointed.

"Hey Kim," Jared greeted. He smiled like he was relieved.

I didn't reply. I was too focused on breathing. _So I didn't dream last night…_

"How'd you sleep?" he asked, a little worried that I wasn't talking.

"OK," I managed to say. It came out breathless, but it was progress.

He smiled and I had to look away before I blurted out _I love you_ or something else embarrassing.

My hand was shaking so I struggled with my combination of my top locker. I could feel Jared watching, which didn't make the situation any better.

"You need help?" he asked gently. He peeled my hand off the lock and stepped closer. "What's your combination?"

I stared at him. There wasn't any thought process.

He raised an eyebrow. "Don't worry, I won't steal anything."

"I'm not worried about that," I sighed. I was close to hyperventilating. He was close enough that if he just leaned down he could kiss me. Our bodies were almost touching – hair widths between us.

He leaned down slightly and I thought my knees would give out. "What are you worried about?" he breathed. I could smell his toothpaste – minty.

"Kim?"

I jumped back and Jared calmly leaned up, looking disappointed.

"Oh, Jenny," I said, pushing my hair behind my ear. I felt my cheeks heat up at her disbelieving look.

She looked from me to Jared and sized him up. Jared raised his eyebrows at her.

"What's this?" she asked, staring at him with a frown on her face.

"Uh… he – he was just helping me with my lo – locker," I stuttered. I didn't know why I felt so embarrassed – like I was just caught doing something I shouldn't have been doing.

"Oh," she said. She looked Jared up and down once more before turning to me fully, now ignoring him.

"I'll meet you in first period since you're…busy," she said while her eyes flickered to the right.

I blushed and nodded, again feeling guilty.

"She hates me," Jared stated when Jenny had walked down the hall.

"I'm a little surprised she even talked to you – or in front of you. She's usually not that… outgoing," I said, smiling at him.

He was staring at me with that look again – the one that made me feel vulnerable and naked.

"What?" I mumbled, blushing again. I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt.

"That's the most you've ever said to me," he said winking at me. "What's your locker combination?"

"Oh – uh…" I muttered flustered. "11 -23 – 35."

He opened the door with a click and a stack of notebooks fell out of it. Then, he started laughing.

I blushed again, feeling as though I was too jumbled and unorganized in his presence that it was just pathetic, and bent down to pick them up.

"Sorry, sweetheart," he chuckled, bending down too. "I don't know why I thought that was funny."

I froze at the nickname he called me, _sweetheart_. It was too sweet in my ears. I didn't think I could stand.

Then he froze. He was holding my favorite notebook.

I immediately lunged for it. "Oh – that's uh… doodling and... what not," I stuttered, trying to gather all the notebooks up at once. My cheeks were on fire. _Mrs. Jared Thail_ seemed like a beacon to everyone passing in the hallway. All the hearts with _Jared Thail_ written in them were enough to make me want to just die on the spot.

If he saw what was written in them, he didn't show it.

"Can I walk you to class?" he asked once I had gathered myself and books back up.

I nodded shyly and started to lead the way down the hall.

We didn't say anything, but I could feel Jared's stare on me. I was nervous and… sad. My head felt like a jumbled, disorganized mess. "Jared, can I – "

He swiftly turned to me, his index finger pressed against my lips, stopping me mid sentence. I looked up at him with wide eyes.

His eyes were closed and a small smile was on his lips.

"Uh, Jared?" I asked hesitantly as his smile got bigger.

"Yes, Kim?" His eyes opened and I felt my stomach fall on the floor.

"I - uh…"

"You said my name…" he muttered, still watching me with that look.

I cocked an eyebrow confused. I unconscious titled my head.

"You've never said it before," he clarified. He flashed his heart stopping grin and I turned to putty.

"Oh," was all I managed to say.

Jared leaned down to my ear, close enough I could feel his hot breath in my neck. "I like the way you say it."

I watched him walk away, stomach butterflies bruising my insides and feeling faint.

* * *

_**author's note:**__ That locker combination, yeah, that's my real one. Ha. So, don't go stealing anything. _

_Thank you for all the wonderful reviews – again! I really hope I can keep you all enthralled and interested!_

_I know this was short (and fluffy…) but the next chapter will be long and this was the best stopping place for awhile._

_I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you thought of it – I can't read minds like Edward. ;)_

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_


	5. Chapter Five: Questions

_Playlist:__ Death Cab for Cutie – any song. _

Chapter Five – Questions:

_Why – (adv.) asking reason, because of, exclamation_

I glanced up again, the sixth time in the last half hour, hoping Jenny would tell me what was eating her. She frowned at her pencil, watching it lazily draw on our assignment sheet. Jenny wasn't usually chatty, but it wasn't like her to just ignore me for no reason.

I looked up again, glancing around before leaning in closely. "Jenny, what's wrong?"

"I don't like him," Jenny announced quietly, carefully looked up.

I inhaled sharply, capping my pen and abandoning the fancy letter "L" I was writing on our poster board. I folded my hands and glanced around again, scooting closer to her. "What?"

"You know what," she muttered. She shook her head and pierced her lips together. "He's – he's not good for you. I don't like him."

I became defensive, irritated at how quickly she was judging someone she didn't even know. "You don't even know him!" I muttered furiously.

She snorted, rolling her eyes. She tapped her pen on the desk, avoiding my eye. "You don't either!" she muttered.

I gasped, feeling as though I'd been slapped. "Well yeah," I said stupidly, trying to think of a better comeback. But, I couldn't wrap my brain around what she didn't understand. "It's _Jared Thail_, Jenny!"

"That's my point! He's Jared Thail – _cool boy_. When do boys talk to girls like you?" she snapped, glaring at me.

My heart twanged. I was insulted. I clenched my fists, squeezing my eyes shut. "Are you saying I'm not good enough for a boy like Jared Thail? That I'm a freak and can't – can't be social with someone like _him?"_

I flashed my eyes open, watching her wave away my question like it was stupid. "No! I'm just saying boys like him don't even _look _at girl's like you… unless they have a reason – like a… like a trick!"

I gaped, stunned like a goldfish out of water. I knew she wasn't trying to insult me, but it stung all the same. I didn't even consider her logical behind what she was saying. It could have been true – usually popular guys liked to pick on the outcast girls to get a laugh out of their friends. But, I didn't even want to think about if Jared, the boy I was practically in love with, would do something like that to me.

"Kim," Jenny placed a hand on my hand. "Kim, I just don't think you should talk to him. He's obviously toying with you."

I pulled my hand away, the irritation replaced by misery. My eyes prickled with tears ready to fall. Why couldn't she just be as excited as I was about all this? Why did she have to be the buzz kill and drag me through the mud while she pointed out that Jared was in the group that would – and has – picked on girls like me? I ducked my head, trying to stifle my tears.

"Oh Kim," Jenny said as though I was acting childish. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

The bell rang and I stood up, pulling my backpack up with me, flinching away from her. My heart pulsed painfully in my chest. It felt as though my best friend was stabbing me in the back inside of trying to protect it. I closed my eyes, trying to block her out.

"Too late," I mumbled, walking briskly to the door. I tripped twice on my way to second period in my rush, trying to get away from Jenny. She didn't stop me, but I still felt like she was looming towards me and I had to run from her negativity or it might just be true.

I sat down in my assigned seat and took a deep breath, rubbing my face. There was still a burn from the tears threatening to fall, but I pushed it away, determined to ignore them. _I can do this… I can to this…_

I ended up just staring at the wall the whole time. The teacher was lecturing and didn't notice that I wasn't taking notes. It was taking all my concentration to keep my mind from wandering down the forbidden path, breaking my part as I went. I tried to suck it up and just go on with my schedule, but I could feel myself crumbling every tick of the clock.

When the bell rang, I ran to the bathroom and let the tears flow freely. I ran to the nearest stall, jammed myself into it, and locked the door. I took a deep breath, placing the seat cover over the toilet seat before sitting down with my backpack on my lap. I sat there, trying to keep quiet and clear my head.

_Jared wouldn't do something like that… would he? He was – was too sweet to be so… so mean…right?_

I sobbed quietly as the girls came and went, doing their business, fixing make-up, and talking about random topics – movies, make-up, last night, _boys…_ They giggled and complimented each other, complaining about their next class or the teachers they had last period.

For the first time in my life, I was going to skip class. I couldn't face Jared, knowing that I would burst into tears when I'd see him – and that would be way too embarrassing. Why did Jenny have to say all those hurtful things? Why did she have to be so logical in all her reasoning? Why couldn't Jared just… notice me for once without any strings attached?

It was quiet in the bathroom. It felt like a teacher would burst in and find me – expelling me. My heart pumped with the rush of adrenaline. I suddenly realized why Jared liked to skip class all the time – it was thrilling and relaxing all at the same time.

Being alone with my thoughts was never a good thing, and this time was no different. I was being suffocated by the questions choking me for answers. Most of them I couldn't answer – Why was Jared talking to me after all these years? Some, I could guess the meaning, but didn't want to think about the truth of their answers because it just about ripped my heart out at the thought of Jenny being right. I didn't want to think about how she really wasn't trying to hurt me by making me aware of the truth.

When the neon green numbers on my phone signaled that I had five minutes left of class, I decided to come out of hiding and walk to my next class – and not be found crying in the bathroom like an idiot. Knowing my luck, a girl would walk in and find me – because the door wasn't locked all the way or because the lock suddenly melted off because the heavens wanted a laugh…

I looked around the crusty bathroom before fully emerging from the stall, to make sure I was alone. The mirror told me that I looked half dead from my puffy eyes and snotty nose. I splashed some cold water on my face and took a couple deep breaths before walking purposely out. I wasn't going to let Jenny's words ruin the rest of my day because for all I knew, she could be wrong. All I had to do was stay positive and ask Jared, the next time I saw him, about what he really was trying to get out of hanging around me.

I gasped, freezing halfway out the door. My heart dropped to my stomach and I automatically ducked my head, blushing, from the boy leaning against the blue lockers. From his expression, he looked pissed off, and judging by the way his arms were crossed over his chest, it might not be the best time to confront him about my questions. Especially the one eating me now. _Why is Jared Thail leaning against the lockers in front of the girl's bathroom that I just happened to be in!?_

The bathroom door closed behind me with a thump. I kept my eyes down casted, waiting for him to say something. He didn't, though, so I glanced up, finding that he was watching me carefully – searching my face for something.

"You weren't in class," he said suddenly. His voice was rough and irritated, husky enough to make my knees wobble.

"I – I uh…" I stuttered, pointing to the bathroom like the intelligent person I was. I blushed, shrugging, and looked back down at my shoes, wishing that my heart wouldn't beat so loud. I was sure he heard it.

He shifted and I snapped my gaze up, watching him push off the lockers and walk slowly towards me. He shoved his hands in his pockets, titling his head. He still didn't look happy.

"Are you okay?"

I paused before nodding, but then thought better of it, so I shrugged, hoping that was enough. I didn't really want to talk – and I knew I wouldn't be able to talk. He was still coming closer.

"Were you crying?" he asked quietly, in a low, tortured voice. My breathing caught at the sound, making my thoughts stumble into each other.

I didn't answer – my voice still lost – but most of all because I felt stupid. Why was he, out of everyone, the one that had to know I was crying?

"Why don't you talk to me?" he whispered, taking a set closer. He said it so quietly, I don't think he meant for me to hear.

I shrugged anyway, turning my head to avoid his eyes. I felt them, looking right through. I shifted on my feet, working up the courage and rung my hands out in front of me. "You never talk to me…"

There was a pause. Jared slightly shifted backwards, only to come closer - now at an arm's length away. I kept my face turned away, knowing even if I glanced at him, I'd blush redder than a tomato.

"You have questions for me," he stated, not bothering to ask.

I nodded anyway, sighing and feeling my stomach somersault over and over. This exchange was making me dizzy and I wish I could talk to him like a normal person, without feeling like an idiot every time something came out of my mouth.

I looked up; noting that he was much taller than I'd thought he was. Obviously I'd have to update my fantasy because I still couldn't believe he'd grown so I only came up below his chest – the tip of my head grazing just below his shoulder.

He was looking right at me, churning my insides into goo. He leaned closer, half smiling at me. "Just ask them then."

My eyes widened, shrugging again as I took a step back – backing off from all this… I didn't know what I was feeling, but I was definitely confused and hurt and flattered that Jared was even talking to me.

He frowned at the distance created between us, but didn't say anything about it. Instead, he took a step forward, catching my eye again. He held out his hand, waiting for me to take it. "You know, you can ask me anything. Do you want to skip class and go somewhere?"

I stared at his hand – it seemed to glow – before shaking my head. "I can't skip again."

His hand still was outstretched causally, just hanging there, waiting for me. "Then after school we'll talk."

I carefully took his hand, melting into the heat and wanting to be permanently glued to it. He jerked me gently forward until I was right in front of him, almost toe to toe.

"Can I walk you home?" he asked, leaning close to whisper in my ear. My eyes went out of focus before I got the brain power to nod, smiling happily.

"You smell good," Jared suddenly whispered, leaning closer. I felt him touch my hair, curling a curl around his finger.

"Yeah," I breathed, trying to keep from fainting. He was so close – I could smell his sent, musky like pine trees and camp fire smoke, but also something entirely him. It was warm and all Jared, and I just wanted to bury myself in his shirt, to be wrapped up in him. He made me feel safe, like I was untouchable.

He just smelled good… like a _man._

The bell rang and I flew away from him, jerking my hand from his and practically throwing myself down the hallway. I hadn't noticed how close were where, or that he was partially hugging me to his chest.

I panted, placing a hand to my chest in attempt to calm it. I had to look around, having forgotten that we were still in school, in the hallway after skipping third period. The world crashed back down on me.

Jared stood there, his hands back in his pockets and his impassive expression on his face, watching me. His mouth twitched in a smile when he noticed I was watching, but he didn't say anything.

"I – I have to go," I stuttered, pointing down the hall. People bumped into my shoulder, ignoring Jared and I just standing there, staring at each other.

"Okay," he said simply. He stared at me for a moment longer before turning, calling over his shoulder, "See you after school."

I watched him go, his back disappearing into the crowd of people. A euphoric feeling seeped into my veins. I was lightheaded and very confused.

_What was going on?_

---

I shoved my math and biology book into my locker, too lost in my thoughts to really care that people were bumping into my as they walked by – without so much as an apology. A few times, I almost lost the grip on my books, but I didn't turn around, knowing that they'd only stare back with a disgusted expression if I tried to confront them about it.

I sighed, trying to shove my history book in without crumpling other papers and a paperback book. I was mad at Jenny. I hadn't talked to her during class or during lunch – instead sitting next to Smell Kelly. (It wasn't the greatest experience of my life.) I didn't really know why she suddenly was so worried about who was talking to me and who I was making friends with. Was she jealous?

The only good thing out of the day was, Jared had come over and said hi to me during lunch. He was on his way out the door with Paul to Taco Del Mar, but he made a point to come over and talk to me.

I slammed my locker and just about jumped out of my skin – catching my scream before it hit the air.

"Oh," I muttered pathetically, placing a hand on my heart, trying to keep it from popping out. Jared looked like he was trying not to laugh – trying to get a hold of his expression.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, uncrossing his arms and pushing himself off the locker next to mine. His eyes danced while he smiled. "I didn't mean to scare you."

I briefly wondered how he was so quiet, but I shook it from my thoughts. Instead, I shrugged, ducking my head. I blushed to the floor, smiling. My stomach butterflies were bruising my insides. _He's right there…_

"I'm here to walk you home," Jared said quietly.

I looked up at him, smiling shyly. I hadn't forgotten.

He followed me out the doorway and down the gravel pathway. We were quiet for a moment, walking away from the crowd of the student parking lot. We passed the bus stop that I would have been waiting at. I held my breath, passing the smokers, before glancing behind me to see that Jared was following closely behind, wrinkling his nose at the smell.

He was suddenly next to me, holding my gaze. "Can I hold your hand?" he asked.

I nodded numbly, feeling his callous fingers weave with mine. I almost fainted. He flashed me a smile and my knees went weak.

We didn't speak again until the school was off in the distance. I watched my feet the whole time, sneaking peeks at Jared out of the corner of my eye. He openly stared, lip twitching every time he saw me look his way. He didn't seem to be bothered by the silence, while it tore at my very being.

_What was he thinking? Was he toying with me? _

After awhile, Jared squeezed my hand, gaining my attention. I briefly saw stars before looked up at him, trying to keep my breathing even.

"Are you going to ask me questions?"

"Why are you talking to me?" I blurted out breathlessly. I hadn't meant to be so blunt, but it was too late to start over.

Jared hesitated before chuckling dryly. He shook his head, frowning at me. "I want to talk to you."

"Why?"

"Why?" he repeated dubiously. He turned his face away from me for a second before giving me his answer. His rich gaze made me woozy. "Why not?"

I sighed, feeling as though we were going in a circle. Beating around the bush wasn't going to help me any - or prove that Jenny was wrong.

"You didn't know I – I _existed_ until a few days okay…" I mumbled quietly, keeping my eyes on my shoes. Our walk had slowed to a crawl. It was only a matter of time before that next step would come to halt and he'd turn away, telling me I wasn't worth it.

"And, I don't know how I managed that for so long…" he muttered irritably. I looked up, wondering if he was mad at me, but he wasn't even looking at me. I was more self-loathing that reflected in his voice, rather than irritation at someone else. My heart swelled slightly, confused, but happy that he did want to know my name.

I didn't say anything, but focused back on my shoes. I took a shaky breath, trying to stay cool.

"I just want to talk to you, is all," Jared muttered, squeezing my hand again.

We were quiet for awhile after that, letting everything sink in. I started trying to think of another questions, but he spoke before I could really gather all my limp thoughts off the ground.

"What's with all the questions, anyway?" I glanced at him, frowning at him. He sensed this and shook his head, clarifying. "Just curious. I don't mind them, but…"

I frowned and felt the pit of my stomach glow with despair. "You're not toying with me are you? I mean, no one da - "

Jared yanked my arm to a stop, pulling me closer to him. He looked furious, ready to pounce. _"What?_ Of course not! Has someone done that to you?" he asked heatedly, waiting impatiently for an answer.

I gaped, shaking my head. "No – no… It was just a question."

He snorted, relaxing slightly. He still glared down the street. We started walking again, as slow as last time.

"Any more questions?" Jared asked lowly when my house started to come into sight.

"Well, no…" I muttered, trying to think of something. "I just wanted to make sure… you know… you weren't playing a –"

I stopped, noticing the way Jared's eyes flashed sharply. I was a little overwhelmed by the emotion behind them.

"Uh… actually I do have a question. What happened when you left for those two and half weeks that you were gone?" I asked, trying to move on.

"Counting were you?" Jared said, amused. He smirked, watching me blush and stumble on the pavement.

_Yes,_ I thought. I turned away, thanking the heaven Jared couldn't read minds.

Jared exhaled heavily, his smile fading. "I was... I can't answer that one."

I was a little disappointed, but I nodded my head, not wanting to push him.

"Are – are we friends?" I asked when we crossed the street to my house. I needed him to lay it out, black and white, for me. Otherwise, I wouldn't sleep and obsess over it until I finally figured it out. I crossed my toes, hoping we were friends.

"Do you want us to be?" he asked gently. We were stopped in front of my house now. The four miles didn't seem so long this time around.

I nodded, blushing and looking down at my feet. I could deal with being his friend – it was so much better than being the invisible nobody he didn't look twice at.

He didn't say anything for a moment before announcing causally, "Yeah, we're friends."

I blushed, nodding my head, dropping my eyes to my shoes to avoid his gaze. I couldn't keep the grin off my face. I felt as though I was going to explode from the sudden emotion, fluttering the butterflies in my stomach and making my legs turn to jelly.

_I was friends with Jared Thail_, I thought, waving goodbye to him as he walked down the street. He flashed me a grin before stuffing his hands in his worn out jeans and disappearing around the corner. _Maybe change isn't so bad after all…_

* * *

**author's note:** _I don't want to say too much in case you haven't finished, but I was very disappointed in how __Breaking Dawn__ turned out. It didn't blow my mind in a good way like the other three did. SM could have done a much better job at finishing her series – what she did was just __bad._

_Anyway, Please leave me a review about this chapter and all your thoughts about __Breaking Dawn__ – I'm very curious as to what the world thought about it._

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_


	6. Chapter Six: Egg Shells

_Playlist:__ Ha, I've never done playlists before and now I can't stop. This time around it was still the brilliant Ludovico Einaudi. _

Chapter Six – Egg Shells:

_Hate – (verb; noun) dislike somebody or something intensely; have a strong distaste for something; feeling of intense hostility, something hated_

By Friday, I was really pushing my self control not to go to Jenny and beg her to apologize so we could be friends again. She had taken to watching me hopelessly instead of trying to get me to talk to her. It was like she had given up without a fight. I wasn't one to stomp over and demand an apology from her, so I guess I gave up too – accepting it. I hadn't wanted to though. I dwelled over it until it made me cry, but not willing enough to try and fix it. To me, it was broken beyond repair and that hurt me. Jenny was my best friend and losing her was like losing my left arm.

I think the only thing keeping me sane was Jared. We had a routine now, so I didn't feel so lost and confused every moment of my day. He'd meet me at my locker every day with a searing look and a crooked smile, asking how I slept that night.

I'd nod, my words caught in my throat, and blush so deeply I feared it would be permanent. Too awkward and unsure around Jared, the conversation usually stopped at that and we walked around in silence. He didn't see the need to bring up anything, content on watching me, while I didn't have a coherent thought to bring up a topic to really start a conversation.

Ever since that first Tuesday, he'd walk me to first period, attracting curious stares of school's student body. The gossip girls and nosy boys started generating wild rumors about Jared and I – all of them considering Jared's mental health. At first I was worried he'd care about what they were saying about him, and that maybe he'd ditch me after making my dreams come true, but he shrugged them off or a gave dirty looks to the creators of the stories.

Still, to avoid unwanted attention, I'd keep my head down casted on my shoes and hug Jared's side, not close enough to touch him, but be enveloped in his shadow.

When third period rolled around, I expected to sit stiffly in my seat, anxiously awaiting his arrival like usual. Instead, it was Jared that was waiting for me, grinning when I walked into the door. He's offer me a hello in a husky voice, ruffling his hair before leaning back in his seat, satisfied I was there and beside him. I shifted in my seat, aware that he'd stare at me most of the time, impassively and uncaring if I caught him. He'd just smirk; his eyes flicker and glow when they met mine.

We never really talked much and I'd still try and sneak peeks at him from the comer of my eye, always blushing when he'd catch me. My made my stomach flop around and somersault so much it was a wonder how it didn't just end up on the floor.

Paul didn't seem happy with the arrangement at first, but after a few glares and choice words from Jared, he ignored us and flirted with the neglected Sally Parker or Holly Gibbings behind him.

I was surprised when Jared started sitting with me after the first half of the lunch hour. I just about fainted when he came over from his table of friends to sit next to me, flashing his heart-stopping smile. I didn't make eye contact usually, instead focused on my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He generally made polite conversation with Smelly Jelly (to be nice and fill the awkward silence, I'm sure) and I appreciated that.

But, I couldn't help think that it would have been nice to have someone that I knew backwards and forwards, someone to be comfortable around and talk incessantly about Jared with, when I was always walking on egg shells around Jared, scared that I would do or say something that would make him go back to ignoring my existence.

Jenny would watch me from our regular table, alone and hurt, from a couple tabled away from where I sat with Smelly Kelly. She wouldn't touch her lunch, but gaze morosely at me with teary eyes.

I felt like a horrible person for ignoring her and waiting until she sucked up her pride and apologized. The guilt of making her so sad ate way at me and I felt like a horrible human being that I craved Jared's company more than my best friends.

"Why are you not talking to Jenny?" Smelly Kelly asked me at lunch on Friday. We still had a few minutes before Jared's huge form would rise from the table surrounded by Paul and Embry Call. It was scary how much they looked alike – brother's or cousins.

I tore at my sandwich and let my eyes drift to the empty table where Jenny was sitting, sucking on her juice box – close to tears. I had to look away before my own salty tears made hot trails down my cheeks.

"She said some really hurtful things," I mumbled, looking down at my untouched sack lunch. My dad had lovingly made it that morning – just like he had been since I started school. I remember being so mad at him at the end of my elementary days because he wouldn't let me buy lunch like all the cool kids were. Now, sack lunches were a luxury.

"Are you waiting for her to apologize?" Smelly Kelly asked. She shifted around in her seat and I tried not to lean away at the odor coming from her.

"Yeah," I muttered, turning my gaze on Jared who was laughing at something Embry Call had said.

"Maybe you should make the first move," she said quietly. "I think some miss communicate is going on."  
I snapped my head around to look at her, flabbergasted. "What? What are you talking about?"

Smelly Kelly shrugged. "Well, maybe she's waiting for you to apologize to her."  
"She's the one that hurt my feelings, remember?" I countered, glaring at my bag of baby carrots.

"You are ignoring her, though. Maybe she doesn't know what she said that hurt you so much," she said calmly, stuffing some Chex Mix into her brace filled mouth.

"I – "

"Hey," Jared's husky voice greeted. I snapped my head around to smile at him shyly.

"Hello, Jared," Smelly Kelly said, leaning around me. I tried to not gag, acting like I was messing with my backpack so I could turn my head away.

"Hi Sm- Kelly," Jared said smirking. He glanced at my lunch before turning to me, asking, "How was your lunch?"

I didn't respond right away, but was caught up in staring at him unwaveringly. It was only when I realized that he asked me a question did I blush and dropped my gaze to my uneaten food. "Uh…"

He chuckled, ruffling his hair and leaning on the table.

"Not hungry?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow. He watched me with dark eyes, turning my insides to jelly.

I shook my head, trying not to frown. My thoughts turned to Jenny's sad figure, slumped over defeated, sitting lonely at the empty table. Alone.

A warm hand clutched my chin, tilted my head to make me look up at Jared's handsome face.

"Are you okay, Kim?" Jared asked quietly, his hot breath tickling my face.

Tears started to form in my eyes and I avoided his gaze. "Sort of…"

"What's wrong?" Jared asked, face distressed. I wondered what he thought of _cry baby Kim. _

I sniffed, taking a deep breath. My gaze wandered over to Jenny, who was still playing with her food. I felt my tears being unleashed. I tried to stifle them, ducking my head so Jared wouldn't see. I pressed my hands to my cheeks, trying to hold myself together.

Jared looked over his shoulder for a moment before slowly turning back around to me. He gave me a pitied look. "Is it your friend?"

I nodded and rubbed my tear stained cheeks with the back of my hand. I tried not to sob, but my body shook and a few escaped.

Suddenly, I was pulled forward into Jared's side. His arm curled around my shoulders and he brushed a tear away with his thumb.

"What did she do?" he asked, roughly. I stared at him for a moment, not remembering ever seeing him that anger before.

"No – nothing," I whispered, choking back my tears. I trembled a how close I was too him, tingling at his touch. "We – we're just fighting, is – is all."

Jared hugged me to him, holding my hand and rocking slightly. I sighed shakily, melting at his touch. Everything didn't seem so bad anymore…

"I was telling her that maybe she should go talk to her," Smelly Kelly piped up from somewhere behind me. I barely heard her, too overwhelmed with Jared's scent and body heat curled around me. His hands were rough against mine, protecting and secure.

"Maybe that's a good idea," Jared muttered in my ear. I tried not to shiver when his hot breath hit my neck.

"I – I don't know what to say," I said sadly. I watching my hands tangled with Jared's. My emotions were clouded, twisted like our fingers. I was still sad, but hyper aware of Jared – how he moved, talked, smelled… He smelled so good – like a boy that hadn't just drowned himself in cheap cologne.

"If she's your best friend and you want to fix it, you'll figure out something," he answered, slowly releasing me from his steel grip. I almost whimpered at the lost of contact, but held it in.

I nodded, whipping my cheeks with the back of my hand. I dragged a hand through my hair before smiling sheepishly up at Jared for crying all over him. I was about to apologize, but he stopped me, giving me a grin and shrugging.

Smelly Kelly clapped me on the back and gave me a metal mouth smile. Her thick glasses we slightly crooked on her nose. "You'll be fine."

I nodded again, exhaling loudly before rising from my seat on the bench. I stumbled my way over to Jenny's table. My nerves were spiraling out of control and I felt like I was going to throw up. _What if she doesn't forgive me?_

Jenny didn't notice me until I slid into the seat across from her. she jumped slightly, only to turn away when she recognized me.

"Hi Jen," I mumbled, trying to smile at her. Her droopy face didn't look happy to see me.

"What do you want?" she muttered, scowling at her turkey sandwich.

I rubbed my eyes, fighting the urge to sigh. I suddenly felt so tried. We were fighting over something so stupid. "Why won't you apologize for what you said to me?"  
Her gaze was blank. "I didn't say anything to you that is worth an apology. You're the one ignoring me!"

I frowned, looking down at my hands in my lap. There was a prickle of tears, but I was determined not to cry. Again. "What you said about Jared and – and all that stuff. That's not worth an apology to me?"

"I was telling the truth," Jenny insisted, shaking her head. "He obviously wouldn't admit that he's toying with you. He's probably waiting until the right moment to blow it all back into your face."

"Why are you saying all this?" I gasped, trying to get my breath back. She was sucking out all my oxygen – I could hardly breathe. I tear trickled down my cheek and I frusteratedly wiped it away.

"I'm trying to protect you from the people you so blindly trust and will hu – "

"I'm not going to hurt Kim."

My gaze snapped up to Jared. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked exhausted. His arms were crossed over his chest, his expression irritated.

Jenny narrowed her eyes at him, but directed her words at me. "He's rude too."

"Are you jealous of me, or something?"

I blanked out, overwhelmed with him standing up for me and the sight of the thick band of muscle on his forearm. I pinked, dropping my gaze to my hands again.

Jenny jumped up, her height looking smaller next to Jared. "What!? I'm not jealous of any airhead, robot such as yourself!"  
"He's not an airhead," I mumbled pathetically, tuning back to the conversation. I looked to from Jared to Jenny, unsure of what I should do. There wasn't a side I could take and I didn't have the strength to stand between them.  
"Well, at least I'm not a band geek, snob that can't handle her best friend making new ones!" Jared muttered lowly, eyes narrowing. They flashed dangerously and I unconsciously shied away from him.

"New friend? Ha! She's just someone you can mess with and then joke about later! You don't care about her!" Jenny shouted, attracting attention from other tables. She pointed a finger at him, just barely grazing his chest.

Jared suddenly gripped Jenny's arm, pulling her closer to him – so close their noses were almost touching. When he spoke, his voice was low and rough – so sharp I was surprised his words didn't leave scars. "Can't you accept that you're not the only one that cares about Kim? I can't believe you'll willingly make her chose a side when it's obviously none of your business who she hangs around. So, I'm not going to let you jeopardize our relationship because you can't get over yourself. So, suck up your pride and apologize before _I make you."_

I stared, stunned. The room was deadly silent, all the students in the room turned to the scene.

I was blank. Conflicted and new to this kind of situation, I didn't know what to do. I watched as Jenny trembled quietly, still nose or nose with Jared. _What parallel universe was this?_

Finally, after the quiet hum of voices started back up again, I registered I should do something – _anything_.

"Jared," I whispered, finding my voice and jerkily making me way over to the frozen pair – Jared still fuming and Jenny looking like she was about to pee her pants. "Jared, let go of Jenny."

Jared growled before pushing Jenny away from him with a jerk of his arm. He crossed his arms and stepped behind me, glaring at what was still left of my best friend.

Jenny was white. Her mouth was slightly open in the form of an O and she had a green tinge to her cheeks. I couldn't help but notice a slightly purple area around the place were Jared's hand had gripped her upper arm.

"Jenny?" I whispered, walking slowly to her. I felt sick and worried that she wouldn't ever talk to me again. I stumbled on a backpack and became aware of people still staring. I blushed, glancing around nervously. I didn't think I could do this even without an audience and with one, it made things a lot more complicated.

"_What are you looking at?"_ Jared suddenly snarled at everyone watching. His tone made me flinch.

There was a bustle of people gathering themselves and leaving to go back to their table and gossip about what just happened.

"Kim," Jenny whispered, her anxious eyes felt on me. "I'm sorry."

I frowned, walking toward her. I reached out, relieved that she stumbled into me for a hug. _"I'm _sorry. I think Jared got - got a little carried a – away."

"Ha, yeah," she muttered weakly. She dropped her arms, no longer into hugging me.

I was suddenly very angry at Jared. I spun around, searching him out before stomping over to him. I jabbed my finger at him. "_Why did you do that?_ Why did you scare her?"

Jared's hard face dropped and his posture slouched, cowering away from me. His eyes softened when they found mine and he lifted him palms upward towards my face – like an offering. "I'm _so_ sorry, Kim. She hit a nerve…"

I scowled, feeling my heart melt at his apology. I didn't want to accept it, but I could never stay mad at someone for too long – especially Jared. I crossed my arms, staring pointedly at my shoes -falling into his woeful expression.

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to," I muttered, turning away from him without another word. I hoped he would still be my friend after all this because I didn't think I could take another friend ignoring me after this.

I grabbed the still pale Jenny by the hand and pulled her out of the cafeteria, out into the hallway. When Jared started to follow, I held up a hand to stop him – giving him a look that said he had done enough. His sad expression just about ripped my heart in too, but I sucked it up and marched away, determined to fix one thing at a time – focusing on the initial problem first.

When Jenny and I were alone, I sucked in a breath before fumbling through my apology.

"I'm sorry Jenny, for everything. I'm sorry that you feel neglected. I'm sorry that I ignored you. And, I'm just really sorry for everything that has happened. I hate us fighting and I hate us not talking to each other. I really miss you…"

Jenny smiled weakly, nodding her head. I felt her pride fall away as she got ready to apologize. "I'm sorry too, Kim."  
We hugged after that. It felt right to have my best friend back.

"I have a question," I said after a moment, pulling away from Jenny. She looked at me confused. "What do you think Jared meant when he said _relationship_?"

* * *

_**author's note:**__ Ah, so another chapter completed. What will happen next?_

_Thank you for all the reviews last chapter – I got many interesting comments on Breaking Dawn. _

_Please review for this chapter, and tell me your thoughts. It's greatly appreciated. _

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_

_P.S. Is everyone as excited as I am that the Olympics are finally here and up and running? What's everyone's favorite sport to watch?_

* * *

To Huckleberryjam: Thank you for your wonderful PM. I would answer your PM directly, but you don't have messaging, so here it goes.

I have to agree with everything you said about Breaking Dawn – everything. It seemed that be both had the same problems with it as well as the things we enjoyed about it. I loved Jacob's POV – that was my favorite part of the whole book.

Uh-oh… I was planning on writing a Paul story once I'd finished this story and Brighter Than Sunshine – for Colin. I can't promise that I won't write one because I happen to love Paul – he'd be a challenge for me to write since he's so rude and short tempered. (:

Thanks for the PM. Little Black Dresses


	7. Chapter Seven: Magazines

_Note: Yes, I realize that I've already written a Chapter Seven, but I wasn't happy with it. It was taking me in a direction I didn't want to go with for this story. So, this is the Chapter Seven newly improved that will help direct the story down the new plot line! _

_(This chapter is still in dedication to the wonderful and fabulous _Talulah-Bear._ She's done more for me than I could ever thank her for. Thanks, hun!)_

Chapter Seven – Magazines:

_Love – (verb; noun) feeling tender affection for somebody; feel desire for somebody; passionate attraction and desire; very strong affection; romantic affair; worship of god_

"It's this stop," I said, leaning over Jenny to pull the bus string. "We'll have to walk home the rest of the way."

Jenny nodded and followed me down the isle of the crowed bus. We thanked the bus driver, who blandly ignored us, and clambered out of the smelly public transportation into the pouring rain. We watched it drive off, leaving us to deal with our clothes sticking to us in an uncomfortable manor, before crossing the cracked street into a dirt parking lot.

"This 7-Eleven is where my mom gets all her magazines from," Jenny said pushing the door open of the grubby convenient store. A tinkle from a bell towards the top of the door greeted us, along with a blast of cold air. I never figured out why convenient stores were always kept colder than they should be for normal people to shop in. No one wanted to buy their Slurpee or package of gum in the cold, especially when it was cold enough outside. "I think they have tips for boy trouble and all that in there columns."

I nodded, following her. Our feet were making a squelching sound on the titles floor that seemed to echo in the small store. There seemed to be elevator music in the background coming from small speakers in the corners, but all that was heard of human existence was the occasionally flip of the pudgy lady's magazine from behind the counter. Her long pink finger nails could hardly grasp the page, so she had to lick her finger to turn the page so she could read all about _Brad-Alina's_ new twins.

"Here," Jenny said, lifting six magazines into my arms. I eyed them warily, feeling the weight of my five dollar bill in my pocket. I wasn't sure how many Jenny was planning on buying, but I didn't think I wanted to spend all of my five dollars, that I got only once a month for chorses. "These are the teen ones that probably will have all the boy advice in them. And this one – "

"_Probably?"_ I gasped, trying to stay standing as she lifted another four into my arms. I'd never noticed before how heavy magazines were. "Shouldn't we check to make sure that what we want is actually in the magazine – "

"No reading before buying," the lady behind the counter said, glaring at us with her beady eyes.

I gulped and smiled shakily. My cheeks heated up and I said in a small voice, "Oh, sorry…"

"It's OK, Kim," Jenny said, smiling at me. She handed me another magazine. "There are other things in the magazines besides boy help! My mom sometimes uses the hair tips and stuff like that."

I tried not to cringe, at the thought of what these magazines would make me do. What if it makes me look like a fool when I try to copy them? I had a very bad image of myself walking around in high-heels, wearing hot pink everything – even nail polish; sporting thick, bright red lipstick while trying to bat my eye-lashes.

My stomach was also doing weird, roll flips in my stomach, making me nausea. I didn't like the idea of having to style my hair in a high Texas doo like Jenny's mom.

"That will be 6.50," the lady behind the counter said in a nasally voice. She held out her chubby hand as I fumbled around in my back jean pocket.

"Do you have enough?" Jenny asked, holding another five.

"No, and I didn't want to spend all of my money," I grumbled handing over my five dollars. I watched a book or the snickers I treated myself at lunch sometimes, with fly away from me and into the pudgy lady's cash register.

I sighed, and looked sadly at the bag she handed to Jenny with her change.

"Don't worry, Kim," Jenny said cheerfully. She held open the door for me as I slumped out into the icy rain. "It'll all be worth it."  
It didn't seem worth it as I sat there with lemon juice in my hair, trickling down my neck as Jenny yanked and pulled at my locks in directions that it wasn't suppose to go. The acid seemed to be burning my scale and it was looking like a waste of time. I didn't see the _"fun and perky highlights"_ that it was guaranteed to make.

"Well," Jenny said hesitantly as she tried to untangle her fingers from my mass of hair. "That didn't seem to work out like I hoped it would…"

I winced whenever she yanked her finger. "Yeah, it didn't work."  
"Maybe we should move to the boy page…" Jenny said after finally pulling her fingers loose. I rubbed my head where it felt like she'd just pulled out a big chunk of my hair.

"What does it say?" I said curiously. I was interested in what they'd say to do about Jared. Maybe they would explain why he was suddenly so intent on being my friend and staying in my good company.

Jenny said, "It says: _Finally Get the Guy. Step 1 – sending more-than-friend signals. You've been crushing on him forever, so now it's time to make your move. _

"_Step two – separate him from the crowd. Ask him personal questions – instant private convo!"_ Jenny smiled at me as she flipped the page. She seemed to be enjoying this a little too much. I'd never had taken her as one that liked reading the columns in these teen monthlies.

I briefly wondered if she was trying to live through me so she didn't have to make her own memories and actually participate in the teenage girl phase all of us go through. She never wanted to do this when she had a crush on the tuber player or the math nerd who one the school Math-letes.

Nonetheless, I immediately shoved it away, demining it ludicrous.

Jenny started to read again. I couldn't help but think that this was not helping the way I thought it would. It wasn't giving me any insight on the situation I found myself in nor did it give any _real _helpful advice. It was all celebratized – or written for the ones that were "living the life" like the ones that movies based there plots in.

Plus, I didn't know what they are talking about and all these signals. And ask him personal questions and get an instant private convo? What the heck did that mean? If I'm talking to him, isn't already a private conversation?

"_Step three,"_ Jenny continued. Her tone of voice was suggesting she was really getting into it. _"A concert or game! Look spontaneous: wait until three days before you invite him, and say you're going. If he can't go, he'll more than likely ask you out since you made the first move."_

"What? Jenny this isn't – "

"Shhh! We're on to the DON'TS," Jenny said, waving me quiet. I sighed, settling down to listen. _"Don't make him the center of your universe _– uh… well, maybe you've been doing something wrong Kim."

I sighed and rubbed my eyes, feeling exhausted. It was disheartening to know that all this time I'd been going about 'wooing' and 'seduction' all wrong. No wonder he never looked at me…

"_If you lose that air of mystery, he'll lose interest. So don't hang on his every word and obsess over him. Leave him wanting more!" _Jenny mumbled, finishing off the section. She looked over the top of the magazine. I tired not to gag at the pitied expression she was giving me. The last thing I wanted was her sympathy. "Maybe you lost your air of mystery…"

"Then why would be suddenly be caring about me, Jenny," I asked, really confused. I didn't want to give up hope that Jared was under the 'normal boy' category and could be figured out and read like all these articles were telling us. Even so, none of this was applying to me.

"Well, maybe he's not reading your signals right? Like here it says, _Make eye contact and hold a little too long – he'll know you want to be more than friends._ Maybe he doesn't know what you want from him and he's confused," Jenny said, scanning the page.

"Jenny," I began, but I didn't know where I was going with this. I didn't think I was that hard to read. And if I was, I wasn't hard to crack. I'd melt under a nice given glare or a "are you sure?" asked of me. Jenny just had to look at me and I'd spill out all my guts.

"What are you two doing?" Anna asked from the door way, making both Jenny and I jump.

"We're reading," Jenny said just when I said; "We're trying to learn about boys."

"From _teen magazines?"_ Anna questioned, raising an eyebrow. She crossed her arms and bit her lip in attempt to stifle her growing giggles.

"Well," I mumbled, looking for help in Jenny, who was blushing. "Where are we supposed to learn from?"

Anna sighed and came towards us, flipping her perfect caramel colored curls over her shoulder. She eyed my hair with a wary look, like it was alive. "What's wrong with your hair?" she asked snootily.

"We were trying to highlight it for _'a great new look!'"_ Jenny answered in a small voice. "I think we did it wrong…"

Anna sighed and rubbed her forehead like she was suffering from a headache. "Kim, so wash out… whatever you just did to your hair."

I obediently rose and hurried to the bathroom to take quick shower. I can't lie and say I wasn't excited by the fact that Anna – the girl that every guy wanted to date – was going to help us with all this Jared trouble. I was sure that she'd know every trick in the book to just about everything that had to do with boys in general. I felt like smacking my head against the bathroom counter at my blindness. Why hadn't I thought of Anna for the answers? I guess it was one of those things that were just too blatantly obvious that you never think to look for the answers there.

Though, the more I thought about it, I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know what I would have to do just to make Jared like me – or why he suddenly liked me. What if his reason wasn't flattering or special? What if I was nothing more than an experiment and Jenny had been right, he was toying with me? To go through all of this for a boy, it all seemed pointless and too extravagant.

I entered my room with caution this time, my thoughts swirling around in my head. Anna had some of her hair products and some combs lying out on the bed. Jenny had been exiled to the floor and was looking putout about it.

Anna waved me over to the edge of the bed. She gently pushed my shoulders down until I was sitting stiffly on the edge of the mattress. She smiled at me and said cheerfully, "I'm going to give you a tip to control your hair."

I nodded and she started working with the curls so they would curl like they should – ringlets with a copper hint in the light.

I glanced at Jenny every so offend in hopes that she'd say something if Anna started to make my hair even worse than it was, but she just shrugged and brushed her fringe out of her eyes. Her hazel eyes watched me with curiosity, trying to memorize what Anna was doing in.

I finally gave up about being surprised with the end result and moved my eyes to watch Anna in the mirror as she ran a huge handful of some foamy white stuff into my hair, making the curls lay more normal looking instead of vertical.

I was odd that every time she ran her fingers through my hair, it became longer. From being just about at my shoulders, my hair was now creeping down my chest, right above my breast line.

I wondered if the mousse she was using just pulled out the curls and stretched them more into a style than a mass.

"– And promise me you will never do anything those magazines say to do," Anna said, giving me a look in the mirror. I smiled sheepishly not because we were using the magazine, but that she had been talking and I hadn't noticed. "It's all bullshit."

I nodded and saw Jenny do the same thing. She was looking guilty about her idea and embarrassed that Anna had called her out on it.

"Now," Anna said, sitting next to me. "What were you trying to learn from the magazines?"

I started blurting out things, hoping she could tell me something that wasn't unrealistic about boys. I told her about my infatuation. I explained everything that had happened in the last couple days – including what had happened today in the cafeteria.

"Jared Thail, Kimmy?" she asked in disbelief. Being the senior that she was, Anna didn't bother with lower classmen drama. Instead, she rolled her eyes on it and focused on the more important things – Upper classmen drama.

So, being the lowly sophomore I was, Anna didn't bother with my problems. I wasn't surprised that she was shocked at the idea that I was crushing on Jared Thail – the only sophomore she bothered to talk to. Jared had a history of attracting the older women in our high school. From my observations, he's gone out with three seniors and four juniors.

"Yeah!" I squealed, flopping back on the bed. I started to get dreamy just thinking about him.

"Wait," Anna muttered, running a hand through her hair. "Wait, he's being social with _you?"_

I shook my head and my happy smile curved my lips. "Well, yeah! He's my friend!"

Anna was speechless. Jenny smirked, not looking surprised by Anna's reaction.

"You're joking right?" Anna said in a high voice. Her eyes were bugged out, no doubt, as she tried to imaging little old me with tall, dark, and handsome at my side.

"He meets me at my locker every morning and walks me to first period, he says _hi _at lunch, and he even walked me home – holding my hand and everything!" I blurted out, feeling the need to explain when Anna didn't say anything. I was starting to get worried.

Anna's shocked face didn't change. Jenny started to snicker.

"That's what I thought…" she mumbled, trying not to laugh at Anna's face.

"He's really sweet Anna, better than I thought!" I exclaimed, sending an annoyed look at Jenny. "He even talks to me now!" I grinned foolishly

"I'm – I – "Anna stuttered. "Are we talking about the same guy? Jared Thail, big and handsome? The bad boy that cuts class, acts out, and back-talks teachers? Dates seniors and is best friends with – "

"Paul," I interrupted. "He has a dimple in his left cheek if he's smiling hard enough; he went out with Georgia Natomia in eighth grade and has had many short flings since then – usually older. His birthday is on September 5th, 1990, and he just got his licenses."

Anna was speechless again. Why was this so hard to believe?

"He's started hanging out with Sam Uley – "

"Do you know everything about him or something?" Anna asked, holding up a hand to silence me.

I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt and avoided her eyes. "I just – I listen…"

"You stalk him. You're obsessed with him!" Anna said laughing half-heartedly. She ended with a shaky chuckle before scratching her head as if to stimulate a reason why her dorky sister was attracting the attention of a school heart throb.

"No…" I mumbled pathetically. I blushed at the truth of her statement. I'd never thought of it as stalking before…

"Wow," Anna said, sitting down on the bed. She glanced at Jenny. "What do you think about this?"

"I've given up trying to make sense of it all," Jenny sighed, resting her head on her hand. She sounded defeated.

"Well, you've stumped me," Anna murmured, but added, "But, those magazines won't have the answer."

There was a pause. I could almost see Anna's thought process as she went over everything in her head.

"I guess you should just be your self," Anna said, scratching her head again. Her eye flickered out of her blank staring, to me in the mirror. "That's what he was attracted to in the first place, right?"

I frowned, thinking that for the last four years I've been acting myself and Jared hadn't looked twice at me. What had changed in the last week?

"What about him saying 'I care about her more than you can imagine' – I mean, I don't know what he means by that…" I said, trying to get something more out of Anna. She just had to know what was going on with Jared or I thought I might just start sobbing.

Anna thought for a moment. She stood and started to pace, running a hand through her hair. "Well," she said after a moment. "Maybe he's just finally realized that you're the type of girl for him. Has he said anything else about the whole topic? It seems weird that he'd freak out when Jenny said he doesn't care for you. Maybe – "

"It's like he doesn't like to be wrong or challenged," Jenny supplied quietly. She unconsciously rubbed her forearms where she had bruises.

A flame of anger leaped up in my stomach. I was suddenly very angry at Jared. "He shouldn't have touched you, Jenny," I said sternly.

She shrugged and looked away. "He came up to me after school, before I met you at the bus stop, and apologized."

I was surprised. My red, hot balloon seemed to deflate and I had to stifle the urge to start _awing._ "Really?"

"Yeah," she said nodding. Her eyes were glazed over and she looked lost in thought.

"You yelled at him, didn't you Kim?" Anna said slowly. She seemed to be piecing together something I couldn't see.

"Uh," I stuttered, trying to think. I was regretting forgiving him so quickly, but how could I not? It was _Jared Thail!_ "Yeah, but only for a moment…"

"That's interesting," Anna said. She started to pace again and I was lost. It was annoying how everyone could see something that I couldn't.

"What are you thinking?" I asked at last. Anna had suddenly started grinning, giving me the willies.

She chuckled and patted me on the shoulder. "Kim," she started, but shook her head. She was grinning again. "Good luck."

I watched her walk away, confused and scared.

What was she_ talking_ about?

* * *

_**author's note:**__ Anyone confused? I realize that this ending wasn't something expected, but I promise in later chapters this will make so much more sense than it does now._

_But, those of you that seem to see right through me… Can you guess what Anna was talking about? Knowing you, my faithful readers, you'll guess right. And, I didn't exactly hide it… :)_

_Anyway, I like this new version of this chapter better than the last one. It seems to flow better with the other six chapters. Plus, it really gives me more room to work with in my new plot line._

_What did you think about it? Tell me your thoughts and constructive constructivism in a REVIEW!_

_Thank you, Little Black Dresses _


	8. Chapter Eight: Dreamland

**IMPORTANT: I have rewritten Chapter Seven. If you haven't already, you need to go back and read it. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but this and future chapters won't make sense if you don't. It's almost the same plot line, but there is a lot of new material. I tried to make it interesting, so it wouldn't be boring to read for the second time. **

**Thank you for understanding and… Enjoy!**

_Note: The playlist for this is Fools in Love by Inara George, Stop This Train, I'm Gonna Find Another you, and Belief by John Mayer._

Chapter Eight – Dreamland:

_Bug – (noun) ailment caused by germs, craze or obsession_

God hated me. It's the only explanation I could come up with.

Either that or I'm was very low on his priority list.

If he cared even the slightest, I would be at school in third period; talking to Jared and listing to him proclaim is love for me.

Well, that's probably not the most realistic possibility. But, I would be able to watch him and bask in all his perfection.

Instead, I was at home, under my blankets with a giant box of tissues, trying not to dribble snot all over myself. I was hacking and couching all over the place and I seemed to be allergic to everything. When I sneezed, I felt like my head was just going to roll right off my neck and it felt like a zillion pounds. To top it all off, my throat felt it was being riped apart every time i swallowed.

Yeah, god hated me.

My mom was too busy to make me chicken-noodle soup or take my temperature or do anything motherly that mothers were suppose to do when you're sick. She got up long enough to shove gross cold medicine down my throat and shoo me off to bed.

Well, she did bring me a glass of ice water and some hot tea, but that's beside the point.

I'm forgotten.

Jenny didn't even call. I had to call her. I find it sad that I wasn't missed. What if I died of some mysterious illness that wasn't just the common cold? What then?  
Knowing my luck, I'd be given to some lab where they could experiment on my dead body. How thoughtful…

I decided to enjoy my day off from school and watch old reruns of the TV show _Friends_ and then the movie _Grease._ It was nice not being told what my homework was or forced to do assignments that were either pointless or just too hard. I did miss Jared, but not the confusing things he did or said. A good break seemed to be the thing I needed.

Instead, I got to laugh at Chandler's dry jokes or Joey's stupidity. I got to sing to Grease. I only wished I could be as sexy and cool like Sandy does at the end of the movie. Maybe then Jared and I would look like we were meant to be together.

Around four, after my mom left for work and leaving me another mug of throat soothing tea, there was a knock at the door. Well, actually it was more like a pounding. It sounded like the door was a few thumps from cracking.

At first, I was sacred, thinking it was a burglar or some mass murder out to get me. But, I shook it away feeling silly. _Mass murders didn't knock…_

A muffled,_ KIM_ made me scream as I fell out of my bed, the comforter tangling around me. I lay still, listening as whomever it was started thumping again and hollered an anxious _"KIM?"_ through the front door.

I held my box of tissues like a club, creeping to the door – thinking that if I had to defend myself, the corner of the box would give a nice distracting scrape.

"KIM?" the voice called again. I titled my head frowning. It sounded so familiar. Like the voice I melt to when it says my name or shiver from the sheer husky sound of it.

"Jared?" I croaked, swinging the door open. I didn't get a good look at tall, dark, and handsome before I was crushed to his chest in a violent hug.

"Kim," he sighed, his body visible relaxing around me. He buried his nose in my hair and murmured my name again, sounding relieved.

"Jared?" I tried again in my scratchy voice. I tried to return the hug, but my arms were clamped to my sides from his iron-like grip he had on me.

"I thought you were dying or dead somewhere," Jared murmured. He said it so quietly I don't think I was supposed to hear. He mumbled louder, "Why didn't you open the door? I was about to break it down…"

"I – I thought you were a m-mass mur-murder out to – to get me," I stuttered, voice muffled from his chest. I was trying not to faint in his arms. He smelled _amazing._

"A mass murder?" he asked chuckling. He pulled away slightly to look at me, a smile on his face. "Murders don't knock."

I blushed at my irrational thoughts. I felt silly and wished I hadn't told him the truth. It was a good think I dropped the tissue box when he hugged me or there would be some unwanted explaining I would have to do.

I was suddenly hyper aware that I hadn't showered and I probably smelled like a pig from the sweat of my fever. My hair felt greasy on my head and I knew my breath probably smelled like something rotten.

Jared grew anxious at my terrified expression. "Kim? Are you OK?"

I shook my head – trying not to breath on him and backed away slowly. He started to follow me, but I held up my hand to stop him. I talked behind my hand as if to shield him from my bad breath, "Jared, I need to go take a shower and stuff if – if your st –_staying…"_

I wondered briefly where I had gotten the courage to have him over _in my house. _It was surreal that only a couple weeks ago, Jared hadn't even known my name.

He chuckled, giving me a suggestive smirk. I tried not to pass out at his next words. "Do you need any help?"

I shook my head violently and started to back away. "The kitchen's on the left," I muttered before bolting down the hallway towards the bathroom. My body was tingling from his hug and the fact that he was _in my house _and_ staying. _

I tired to rush, brushing my teeth until they were decent and leaving the conditioner in only for a few seconds instead of a few minutes like the bottle suggested. I was about to get out when I noticed that I hadn't shave in awhile and the hairs were past the point of being prickly and had grown so long that it felt like a soft kitty. In my rushing though, I cut myself with the razor. I squealed and clutched my leg, trying not to pass out at the sight of the blood.

I guess Jared heard me, so he knocked on the door, "You OK, Kim?"

"Yes," I said frantically, tripping out of the shower. I squealed, grabbing the shower curtain and pulling it off the bar. I swore, "Oh _Fudge!"_

"You sure?" Jared said. It sounded like he was holding back a chuckle.

"Uh-huh," I said, pealing a band-aid to stick on my wound that was bleeding rather badly. I wondered briefly if I'd bleed out from it.

I shook my head and wrapped a towel around myself, trying to whip off the make-up that had smeared all over my face with Q-tips.

After I felt like I had gotten the little mascara I wore off, I bent down to retrieve my clothes – only finding that I had forgotten to take them with me in my haste to shower. I sighed, blushing at the thought of Jared seeing me in only a towel. It was an image of horror that I didn't need to give him.

"Stupid Kim," I muttered, peeking out the door. I almost cried in relief that Jared had seemed to go somewhere else in my house.

I sprinted to my room and slammed the door shut, leaning back on it. I quickly threw on some sweats and an old t-shirt before running some mouse in my hair like Anna had showed me to do. I only hoped that Jared would like it.

I frowned in the mirror at my lack of make-up and curves. My eyes were red and watery and my nose was red and raw looking from blowing it so much. I really did look sick, but I deiced that I couldn't be bothered with it at this moment. Jared was waiting and I didn't need to give him the chance to fine something embarrassing lying around – like old photo albums.

I hesitantly peeked into the kitchen to find Jared sitting at the island bar, drumming his fingers on the counter. He had dug up a bag of marshmallows and was popping them into his mouth mindlessly. He looked lost in thought.

"Hey Jared," I said quietly, giving him a lame half-wave. I blushed and walked to the other side of the island so we were across from each other.

He smiled at me before looking me up and down. I blushed and shivered slightly at the feeling.

"You sounded like you were… having trouble," Jared muttered after I didn't say anything. "Are you OK?"

I nodded, blushing, and dropped my eyes. I started to trace circles on the counter. "I – I tripped."

He chuckled, but didn't say anything.

There was an awkward silence before I gathered my courage and asked, "What are you doing here?"

He avoided my eye and looked out the siding glass door. "I was worried that you weren't in school."

I tried not to smile at the thought of him thinking about me when I thought everyone forgot. It was a bonus that it was _him_ thinking about me. It seemed to make up for everyone else's uncaring attitude. But, I frowned, remembering I'd called Jenny. "Why didn't you ask Jenny?"

Jared took on a pink hue, before shrugging. He mumbled, "Forgot…"

I nodded and smiled shyly. I was trying not to dance around from pure joy. It was almost impossible to think that he worried so much about me that he came over to my house to make sure I was OK.

"So," Jared said clearing his throat awkwardly. "You're sick?"  
"I have a cold," I said, nodding. My hoarse voice seemed to enhance the truth of my statement.

Jared watched me for a moment before nodding. He smiled and looked up at me with hooded eyes, "I missed you today."

I smiled in spite of myself and had to grip the counter to keep from melting on the floor.

Maybe God didn't hate me as much as I thought.

"Can you hang out or are you not up to it day?" Jared asked, leaning closer to me over the island. His eyes bore into me, swirling and dizzy.

"Um… uh-uh… I – I – yeah," I stuttered, trying to form a sentence.

"We could watch TV or something," Jared said sitting up. He ran a hand over his shaved scalp. "I don't think going anywhere would be a good idea – "

I nodded and watched him move quickly to where I was standing. He took my hand gently, but surely, like I was fragile and breakable. The warmth he had was irresistible to my cold, shivering body and I wanted to bury myself in him.

He leaned close to me, continuing his explanation. "I really just want to be around you, right now. I really did miss you."

I nodded dumbly and let him lead me to the living room. I flopped down on the couch as Jared picked up the remote and handed it to me.

I stared at it, not really processing what I was supposed to do with it.

"You can pick what we watch," Jared said sitting next to me. "I don't really care."

My eyes flickered up to him and I handed it back to him. "I've been watching TV all day. You pick," I said in my scratchy voice.

"Well, are sports OK? I haven't had time to just sit and watch them in awhile," Jared asked, fingering the remote.

I nodded, but frowned. "Are you busy?"

Jared nodded and turned to ESPN – watching the "March Madness" news that he obviously missed.

I know it was nosy of me, but I had to ask. "With what?"

Jared didn't answer right away and I almost asked again, thinking he hadn't heard me. But, just as I was about to, he moved his head slowly to look at me. His expression was weary. "Just stuff…"

I nodded and turned to watch the TV. I decided that it wasn't the time to push things like that. Plus, it wasn't any of my business in the first place.

I shouldn't have asked.

I became nervous that he was upset at me for asking because he didn't say anything else, but turn to the TV and watch the sports news casters drone on and on about the teams in the competition. I felt like I should say something, like an apology, or start up a conversation to get his mind off me asking him about information that wasn't mine to have. I didn't want him to dwell on it and it was obvious that he was.

"Sorry," I blurted out, sighing when it came out. It felt like everything flowed out with the word and that my little mistake was made up for.

Jared looked at me confused. "Huh?"

I frowned, wondering if he didn't hear me. "I'm sorry."

He watched me, still looking confused. It seemed like he was running through the last couple minutes in his head, figuring out what I was to be sorry about. It was odd that he didn't find the reason. "For what?"

I blushed and fumbled with the words for my explanation. "I – I shouldn't have asked – I was being nosy about – it wasn't in my place to ask about – I – I'm sorry I was prying."

Like the light bulb turned on, Jared's face became illuminated. He chuckled at me. "Don't be sorry about that. You were just curious."

"Well, I shouldn't have been so nosy about it," I said, picking at the frayed edge of my t-shirt.

He wrinkled his forehead and sat up from his lounging position. "Kim, I don't care about you asking me questions – especially about stuff like that. I'd never think of you as nosy."

"Oh OK," I murmured. He watched me for a moment longer before falling back into his lounging position.

For the next hour, I'd peek at him from under my curly hair, sneaking quick glances at him while he watched the TV. Sometimes, I'd catch him watching me and I'd quickly look away, blushing. I'd hear a faint chuckle, but I pretended like it didn't happen. It was almost surreal that I was getting the chance to hang out with him at my house.

I did have to get up and get the tissue box I'd dropped on the floor by the door and I did have to hack and cough until my throat felt like it was bleeding, but it was nice, sitting there with my infatuation.

He even made me chicken-noodle soup.

"Thanks Jared," I said quietly as he handed it to me. I had been sitting at the island, watching him make it. My heart was beating too fast and my breathing was shallow and irregular. Everything was just too good to be true.

He leaned on the counter with his arms crossed, watching me sip the broth carefully. His sigh caught my attention and I looked up at him. He looked sad.

"I should go," he said quietly. He glanced at the teapot clock hanging above the kitchen entrance.

I frowned, my heart dropping in my chest. I didn't want him to leave.

"If you don't come to school tomorrow," Jared said, leaning towards me again. "I'll come by and visit, OK?"

I nodded, cheering up at the thought. Though, I knew there was no chance I would miss two days in a row. I was probably already drowning in work I had to make up.

His smile melted my being, turning my insides to jelly and my brain into mush. It was almost painful how handsome he was.

"Feel better, sweetheart," he said quietly, before disappearing out the door. I sat giddily at the counter, smiling rather foolishly.

For the next two days, things didn't go according to my plan. I hadn't wanted to miss more than a day of school, thinking that if I did, I'd have way too much to make up and I'd never fully recover from it. But, of course, God hated me and turned my cold into the flu. I threw up everything my my stomach that night and even dry heaved a couple times before lying on my bed, feeling like I was dying.

True to his word, and against my pleads to stay away so he wouldn't catch what I had or see me all gross looking, Jared came by every day right after my mom left around four. He'd stay for about two hours before making me tea or soup and leaving.

Then Anna would come home and ask what it was about the flu that was making me so happy.

But, I didn't see this whole flu thing as such a bad thing. I was dying, but going to heave with Jared's visits and the care he gave me. I don't know what it is about the soup or tea he made, but it tasted a whole lot better than what my mom made. He must have had the magic touch.

And, he knew how to cheer me up. He really was as funny as I had always thought he was. He'd tell me stories about things that had happened to him and Paul when they were young or other weird, but interesting, stories. Sometimes we'd talk about school or other general things. Sometimes I'd tell him about Anna or Jenny and the stuff that had happened to us. Jared always listened with rapped attention.

It was fun getting to hang out with him like we'd been friends forever, like Jenny and I. Only, there was a few times where I couldn't breathe because he did something that took my breath away, like play with my hair or catch me when I tripped over Anna's shoes. When he smiled I couldn't think straight and when he touched me, either on purpose or accidentally, I'd start hyperventilating or fumbling with my words.

It was still heaven, though. I began to wish that I wouldn't get better and I could just hang around with Jared forever.

When Jared left on Wednesday, Anna apparently saw him walking away from our house. She questioned me about whether or not he was here.

"He's just visiting me," I said, shrugging. "He's come every day to check on me."  
She thought I was joking.

"I'm not kidding, Anna!" I said angrily. It was annoying that she thought I was socially retarded. "We're friends!"

That seemed to shut her up. "What do you guys do?"

She said it in a way that I should be confessing that we were… doing things friends usually didn't do. I was appalled. "We just watch movies or TV or talk, Anna! Nothing else," I said, blushing.

"Right, right," she said winking. She laughed at my expression and walked away into the kitchen.

I sighed sadly. I wished that she was right and I was wrong.

Oh, wouldn't that be a dream come true…

* * *

_**author's note:**__ I'm not a big fan of this chapter. This isn't a huge chapter or the one you've all been waiting for, but Jared was in it! Don't I get points for that? ;) _

_I'm really sorry this took me so long. Thank you, dear readers, for being so patient. I have a fuller schedule than I thought I would, so I've only had last weekend and this Saturday to really work on this story. I can't tell you when the next chapter will be coming nor if it will be soon or not. So, I apologize for that._

_Tell me what you think about the story so far in a REVIEW! All thoughts are welcome._

_Thank you, Little Black Dresses_

_Btw – I have a Jared POV chapter written that would be just a little look into his life at this point in the story. Would anyone be interested in reading it? _

_revised_


	9. Interval One: Little House

**Important Note: Be warned, this has swearing. **

_Note: Playlist is mostly was Hip-hop/Rap and R&B/Soul from my older brother's collection of music. I'm not a huge fan, but it helped set the tone of this boy's thoughts. I do think they are more rock n' roll type of boys, but Lil Wayne was easier to write to than Metallica. _

Interval One – Little House:

(Jared's P.O.V)

_Imprint – (noun; verb) lasting effect, special mark; make an idea or image permanent, establish social attachments_

"You're such a stalker," Paul snickered in my ear.

I shrugged him off, shoving his shoulder as we walked briskly in the dense tree line. It irked me that Paul didn't understand what I was feeling at that very moment.

I had to see her. It was painful if I wasn't watching her ever move, her every breath.

"What are we going to do next? Sneak in her house and drool over her underwear drawer?" Paul laughed out loud, keeling over at his ideas.

I rolled my eyes and crammed my head to watch Kim as she walked delicately down the side walk, hugging her history book to her chest. Her book bag looked heavy by the way it made her slight shoulders sag. I wanted to hold it for her, so she wouldn't be burdened with it. Maybe I'd do that Monday…

"Wait 'til Sam hears this! And Embry –" Paul paused as he threw his head back and snarled another laugh. "– Wait until he hears that you watch her at night through the crack in her curtains – "

I punched him in the stomach then, making the rest of his words rush out in a "whoosh" as the air left his lungs.

"Shut it, asshole," I muttered, pulling him to the ground as Kim's eyes – her beautiful, big brown eyes – swept the forest.

Paul rubbed his stomach and glared at me. "She's just a chick, Jared. I don't get why we have to do this _every fucking day!"_

"I just want to make sure she gets home safe," I muttered. I did check on her a few times more than necessary, for my own benefit. Paul didn't understand that it was to ease my mind so I didn't constantly worry about her wandering around aimlessly where she could be picked off by something foul in the forest. It kept me from having nightmares and waking in a cold sweat, terrified.

Paul just didn't understand anything.

"And she's not just a chick," I said angrily. We were a safe enough distance from Kim that we wouldn't be heard as she mounted the steps to her porch.

Paul rolled his eyes and leaped out of the forest, stuffing his hands into his pockets. I followed him, giving another glance to Kim's house before falling into step next to him.

"There isn't anything special about that _nerdy paint freak,"_ he muttered.

I knew he was trying to rile my up. He knew saying this would start a fight, like every other time he brought up this argument. I tried controlling my breathing and to keep my shaking hands to my sides where they belonged. "I'm not going to try and curve your mistaken, idiotic mind," I said through clenched teeth.

Paul shrugged and snickered at me, walking a little faster.

"We don't do it every day," I muttered after I calmed down. "She was sick earlier this week, remember asshole?"

Paul snorted. "You still visited her every day like a good little – "

I took a swipe at him, but he ducked it. I started to seethe. His mocking was irritating.

He just didn't understand.

"Oh, so today you wanted to make sure… what? That you didn't have an excuse to see her in her house, all _alone _– "

"I didn't want her to collapse on the street and die, shit brains!" I said angrily.

Paul held up his hands in a peace manor, but his eyes flashed, knowing he was pushing the right button for a fight. Maybe he liked me trying to defend Kim, "that nerdy paint freak", or just liked the fight that he could usually push me into. But, I think he got enjoyment out of the fact that he wasn't the only one that was unstable at the moment when angry. "Sure, sure…"

I sighed furiously, but decided to drop the subject. It was almost pointless to try convincing Paul that there was more to Kim than what he saw. He didn't understand that other girls just couldn't measure up to Kim in any way – she would always top them. I was just fooling myself and wasting my time pretending that they held any of my interest.

Ever since going to Freddy's, to sit on the curb and wait for hot chicks to come out of the store with there mocha lattes, after I imprinted, Paul seemed sour with Kim. I think he was jealous at the fact that we couldn't bond or hang out and talk about certain things now that I had become "gentlemanly" since I had a girl to impress and take care of. I had no time to stay who I was – immature and loutish.

"Who's patrolling tonight?" I asked after a couple blocks. We were walking briskly towards the local 7-Eleven to grab a couple energy drinks. I had a ten dollar bill my mom handed to me for lunch that morning, but I didn't have an appetite for school rubber – what the cafeteria ladies called food.

"Me and Embry," Paul answered, grabbing some marshmallows and Doritos.

"Are we goin' for lunch?"

"Want Mickey D's?" Paul asked, tossing me a _Ballz_ energy drink. He picked up a_ Monster_ himself. I felt it fitting.

I nodded; picking out some milk Emily had wanted that morning and a six pack of beer. Usually Paul and I could get away with buying alcohol now that we actually looked around 25. Plus, the alcohol didn't really react like it normal would if we were normal teenagers.

And we weren't in any shape or form normal teenagers – not even human ones for that matter.

"We'll drop all this off and then take the car, yeah?" I asked, heading towards the register.

Paul nodded, dropping his load into the beat-up counter.

"Is that all?" the chick cashier asked aloofly. Her shoulders were slumped over, like she was carrying a big weight and her nails clicked on the counter when she tapped them. We watched us with droopy eyes, waiting for the money to be slid across to her.

"Yeah," Paul answered, slinging the packet of beer on his shoulder. I grabbed the gum and condoms he had bought. He was going on a date with Janet Lynn tomorrow night and he was convinced that he was "getting some".

The bastard.

"We going to Emily's?" he asked, walking off down the street to the little house – a.k.a. Sam and Emily's yellow cottage that always seemed five times too small when everyone was gathered in it.

I nodded, smirking. "Do you want to explain why we have beer to my mom?"

He shrugged, switching the case of beer to his other shoulder. "So, that means we're taking my car?"

At Mickey D's – or McDonalds - we got three whoppers each and two large fries. Fast food restaurants were the best place for a werewolf to eat – lots of food for not a whole lot of money. In about ten minutes, all that was left on our trays were empty ketchup packets.

"So," Paul started, licking his fingers. "Little house?"

I nodded, grinning. It was always fun to collapse on the couch and play boring X-box games completely wasted.

Accept the morning afterwards always was shitty.

"Jared," I heard Emily's soft voice say. Her hand grasped my shoulder and gently shook my huge form. The movement she caused made my head feel like it was splitting open. "Jared, your mom called. She wants you home."

That was the icing on my crap cake.

"OK," I mumbled, turning over. It was then that I noticed I was on the floor with Embry Call's foot in my face.

I cracked an eye towards the couch where I had started out on and where Paul was lounging with his mouth hanging open. His snored sounded like a dying animal.

"Asshole," I muttered standing. I stretched and my back cracked, aligning into where it belonged. I flicked his ear as I passed him to the door. His yelp and the sound of him choking on his own spit was a satisfying noise, making me chuckle.

I regretted not getting an aspirin or at least a glass of water before walking home to my mother that would want answers as to why I was suddenly not around or why I was so secretive.

"_Jared Thail!"_ my mother screeched when I opened the front door to our little rambler. After my dad passed away a year ago, my mom let the place go, so there were weeds in, what used to be, the garden and moss growing into between the roof panels. Junk like tires and another car parts were scattered in the lean-to garage on the side of the house, and the grass was almost up to my knee. It was a depressing sight, but I knew my mom just didn't have any energy left. I knew I wasn't helping with my current situation of becoming a werewolf. "Where have you been?"

I winced at what the loud sound was doing for my growing headache. It was making me dizzy, which in turn made me feel sick.

"You know where I've been, ma," I said, collapsing into the small dinning room chair. My mom watched me from behind the counter with her arms crossed. "You called the little house, didn't you?"  
She narrowed her eyes and walked towards me. "Don't be a smart-ass," she said sternly, coming to stand in front of me. "I want to know why I wasn't informed that you were spending the night there."

"I didn't think I had to inform you," I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. All I wanted to do was sleep and my mother was making it hard for me to do that.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Jared, you know better than that. What's happen to you?"  
I noticed a shift in our conversation. "What do you mean?"

She pursed her lips and sat across from me, folding her arms in front of her. She leaned towards me and looked at me worriedly. "You go off at all hours of the night and don't come back until early in the morning. You've gotten in trouble with the school more than once these last couple months and I've heard that you've started to pick on little Kim Chitto."

I blushed at her words. I'd thought I was being very sly and sneaky, sneaking in through my window without my mom noticing. It was embarrassing to know I was just kidding myself. Though, at the mention of Kim, I started to get angry. "I'm not picking on Kim!"

"Mrs. Call said she saw you walking home with her, _holding her hand_, the other day when she picked up Embry from school," my mom said. She gave me a disapproving look. "Kim shouldn't be lead on like that Jared. She's such a sweet – "

"I'm not leading her on, ma," I said quietly. I avoided her gave, remembering what it felt like to hold Kim's small hand in mine. It made my skin tingle at the thought.

"What are you talking about?"

"I lo – like Kim, ma. She's a good… friend," I said, blushing again. I rubbed the back of my neck. This was worse than the "talk" she gave me when I'd asked, for the final time, where babies came from.

"You're friends?" my mom asked, shocked back into her seat.

I nodded. Was it so hard to believe?

"Her mom's not going to like that," she muttered, shaking her head. She said it so quietly that I don't think it was meant for me.

Personally, I didn't give a shit what her mom thought. I was going to have Kim as long as she wanted me. No one was going to interfere with that.

"Well," my mom said, standing. She put on her mother face. "Stop sneaking out, Jared. And, stop taking me for a fool."  
"I don't think you're a fool ma," I muttered, watching her walk away down the hall. I rolled my eyes. It was unthinkable to even suggest such an idea. My mom was stronger than anyone I'd ever met – even Sam.

She didn't seem to hear me.

* * *

**author's note:**_ Would you believe me if I told you this was one of the hardest things I've ever tried to write? I don't know why it was so hard, but after awhile I really had to scrape details out of movies and daily life with my brothers to finish this. _

_Jared's such a strong character that I only hope I did him justice. _

_I think it feels off in some way. What do you think? I'm also expecting some questions concerning the time-line and other thoughts with this, so please don't hesitate asking. Tell me everything in a __review!__  
Thanks, Little Black Dresses_

_Btw – the only reason this is early is because I've had a horrible cold that just won't go away, so I've had a day off from school and swimming. I'm going to try and get a chapter up this weekend; I have it all written out in a notebook. There will be some action coming up that's… Kim-like. Haha._


	10. Chapter Nine: Mike and Ike's and Popcorn

_Note: Ah, the playlist. Be OK by Ingrid Michaelson, Island in the Sun by Weezer (love them), and anything else you want to throw in there randomly. _

Chapter Nine – With Mike and Ike's and Popcorn:

_Enthuse – (verb) to be or make enthusiastic; say with enthusiasm_

"Can you believe it's only Tuesday?" I complained, slumping down onto the floor next to Jenny under my locker. She was sitting all hunched over, scribbling on a piece of paper with her favorite blue pen.

"It's cold and pouring outside. And, the bus was late again," I muttered after she didn't say anything. I twisted my hair together to ring the water out. I wondered if the mouse I'd put in it that morning would still hold. "It didn't even come on Friday. I had to walk home!"

Jenny scrambled to finish whatever it was she was writing and hastily pushed her paper away from sight, grinning at me too widely, showing her purple colored braces aligning her teeth. Her teeth seemed almost too big for her mouth, but it gave her a cute smile.

I narrowed my eyes. "What?"

"I was just making a list about gift ideas for _someone special_," she said. She wiggled her eyebrows and giggled like I should know what she was talking about.

"That's good," I said confused. "Whose birthday is it?"  
She laughed and playfully bumped my shoulder. "Like you don't know!"

I didn't answer, but thought hard. Was it Jared's? Had I missed it? I started to panic. What would I get him? Should I get him anything? We were friends…

"Whose birthday is it? I didn't remember – "

"Kim," Jenny said impatiently. She rolled her eyes and sighed. She straightened from her slouched position. "It's your birthday, stupid."

"Oh," I sighed, relieved. I had no idea what Jared would like – or if he would even want something. Though, my birthday wasn't something I usually forgot about. I blame the flu. _"Oh!"_

Jenny rolled her eyes again and laughed. "How could you forget your birthday? Especially your sweet sixteen?" she asked appalled.

I grinned. Sixteen – that was a milestone. Lots of fun, exciting things happened when you were sixteen. You started to become a real adult. How had I gotten so old? "I don't know," I said slowly. "It just slipped my mind."

"Do you want a party?"

I frowned, leaning back on the lockers. A party wasn't something that I enjoyed having or going to. For one, I couldn't dance. I grooved like someone with ants in their pants or shimmied like I was in pain. Two, I wasn't usually invited. Only the people that had real names like Fred or Lisa, unlike me who had "that girl that sits behind me" or "I think she has glasses", got invited to parties that were actually worth going to, which brought me to my next point: three, if I had one, usually it was only Jenny and my parents who showed up.

"No, I don't think a party – "

"Party? Where?"

I looked up to Jared's huge form come walking over. He had a big, teasing grin on his face. His shirt was wrinkled like it had been laying on the floor previously before thrown on in a hurry and purple bags hung under his eyes and his hair was messy and sticking up in odd directions, but he was perfect._ He's so handsome…_

"Hey Jared," I said quietly. I shyly ducked my head and smiled to my knees.

He gracefully dropped down next to me, close enough that our sides were touching. He patted my knee, "Hey Kim."

"Oh _please… "_ I heard Jenny faintly mutter to herself. I could feel her eye roll. I tried not to glare at her.

"How are you?" Jared said politely, eyeing Jenny with annoyed look on his face.

"Kim's birthday is on Friday – "

"Friday?" I gasped. There was a sinking feeling in my stomach. "It's that close?"

"April 1st, right?" Jenny asked, rushing to pull out her planner. Her fingers trailed along the up coming weeks, marked with other appointments and due dates.

"Your birthday?" Jared said cocking his head to the side. "Are you turning sixteen?"

I nodded to answer both of them. "Presents aren't necessary – "

Jared interrupted with a loud snort and a wave of his hand. "Oh, yes they are! It's only twice a year you get free stuff."

"What's the other time?" Jenny said. Her forehead was wrinkled in thought.

"Christmas," Jared said shortly in a monotone. He answered it like it was dumb question, like who would forget _Christmas!_

"Oh, right," Jenny said, turning away. She fidgeted before standing. "I'm going to class. I'll see you there…"

I watched her walk away. It wasn't until she was starting to round the corner did I realize that I probably should have said something. She wasn't comfortable with Jared and it wasn't any better that Jared didn't seem to like her. I wondered if there was something I could do, to loosen the obvious tension that was present every time Jared and Jenny were even standing next to each other.

"What do you want for your birthday?" Jared asked after awhile. We sat in a comfortable silence, watching the sleepy high schoolers walk by in the halls, maybe stopping by their locker.

I shrugged, shyly watching my shoe laces. One of them was undone.

"Your hair is really curly today," Jared murmured. He slipped his finger through one of the loops in my hair. I was fascinated by his giant male hands, crooked slightly and his knuckles were almost knurly looking. They were completely different from my straight, petite fingers that had blue nail polish on them.

"The rain kind of messed it up," I mumbled, blushing. I watched him fiddle with a curl, springing it up and down. My pulse was beating rather fast and I was having a hard time keeping my breaths regular. _He's touching me…_

He frowned before shaking his head. "It doesn't look messed up. I like it this way."

Before I could answer, the bell rang surprising me. I hadn't noticed the time slip away so fast.

"We'll talk about your present in third period," Jared said helping me up. He smiled a toothy grin making my heart beat wildly in my chest. I only hoped he didn't hear.

"OK," I muttered watching him walk away down the hall. I had an ache, a longing to follow him. I was uneasy not feeling his heat or smelling his woodsy smell. It made me uncomfortably aware how alone I was.

I sighed, when he disappeared inside a classroom, before turning myself, only to stop and jerk my head upwards. Paul was standing right behind me, glaring unfriendly at me.

"Oh, hello Paul," I said, trying to walk around him, but he side stepped me.

"You know," he said, getting down in my face. "I wish you'd just disappear. You're making nothing but a mess of things. The last thing he needs is you hanging off his arm like the freaky groupie you are."

I took a step back, shocked. I never thought Paul had it in him. Sure he had a short temper, but mean? He usually wasn't the "give me your lunch money" type or the "I'll shove you in your own locker if you look at me wrong" kind of guy.

"And the thoughts he has of – " Paul shook himself, shuttering. He spat, "It's unpleasant thinking about a _geeky nerd_ that way."

"Oh," I said, shifting awkwardly on my feet. I had no idea what he was talking about, but I had half a sense to be insulted.

There was a pause while I tried to look away from his burning glare.

"Run along before your late," he sneered, bumping my shoulder before stalking down the hall. I hindered his advice. I didn't wait around for him to take aback his decision about maiming me or something else horrific.

"You Ok?" Jenny asked me later while taking notes during first period. "You look a little pale."

"Don't I always?" I whispered back, trying to lighten up things. I didn't need Jenny worrying right along with me that Paul was going to rip my head off. I'd never wanted to be on Paul's bad side. That always looked like the losing side when he'd hated someone in years past.

Jenny didn't answer and let the subject drop. I heaved a shaky sigh. What was I suppose to do?

Second period was a blur and before I knew it, it was third period and I was watching Jared stroll languidly in the door. I couldn't help but let a sigh escape. I was under his spell.

"Hey Kim," Jared greeted huskily, dropped down on the little plastic chair next to me. He shifted it closer to mine, grinning at me.

I nodded, not trusting the jumbled words on my tongue. I could feel my word vomit behind my teeth. A scary feeling…

"Kim," Paul growled from behind me.

I jerky turned in my seat, eyes wide, and watched his bared teeth try and turn up into a smile. I noticed the gorgeous Sally Parker behind him was looking at me with raised eye brows and a somewhat superior look, like I wasn't going to last long.

My heart sank in my chest.

"Be nice," Jared muttered. He was looking at Paul with an expectant gaze.

"Hi Paul," I blushed, dropping my eyes. I wondered if he had seen me turn "groupie"-like when Jared walked in. That would be just _embarrassing._

"So," Jared said turning back to me. His gaze had softened when his eyes hit mine. "What did you want for your birthday?"

I shrugged. "Oh you know…"  
The corner of his mouth pulled down into a deep frown. His eyes darkened. "No, I don't."  
I blushed again. "It's OK, Jared. I really don't want anything."  
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. It had already grown out of the shaved look and was turning into a messy pile of dark hair, sticking up where he'd slept on it. I tried not to giggle – _Jared Thail _with_ bed head._

"Can't you just say something so I have something to go off of?"

"Well, I heard the New York Giants were up for sale," I said teasingly. I never liked sports, but it was fun to ask for outrageous things and see what you got out of it. It's how I had gotten my iPod.

"You like baseball?" Jared asked puzzled. His hair was sticking up from where his hair had gone through it and he was looking a bit like a mad man.

"Well," I said. "No, not really. I'm more of a trip to the moon kind of gal."  
Jared caught on that I was teasing him. I was surprised by my jokes – usually they were sarcastic or too dry to be funny. But, I was actually pulling it off this time. Some may have called it… _flirting._

"Is that so?" Jared said, leaning towards me. My smile disappeared and I tried to focus on anything except how wonderfully soft his lips looked or what his hot breath felt like on my face or the way his eyes were boring into me looking the perfect shade of dark brown or the way his hair was falling into his face like…

"Kim?" he asked, tilting his head. His expression became worried. "Are you breathing?"

"Yes," I said gasping. I turned my head away and took another lung relieving breath.

Class started, so I was able to keep my head low and hide my embarrassment beneath my hair. It was mortifying the effect Jared had on me. It was stupid that the distance between us lessened only slightly and I was a pile of mush, melting and swirling at his feet and bending to every word that came out of his mouth.

A note make me jolt slightly when it made contact with my hand. I'd been lost in thought, trying to focus on the lesson. It had been awhile since I had actually paid attention in class.

There was messy scrawl on the torn piece of notebook paper, reading:  
**You never told me what you want for your birthday. **

I glanced up at Jared to see him staring at me intently. I dropped my eyes before bending over the paper to write in my own messy handwriting.

_I don't want anything fancy, Jared. A trip to the moon or a Caribbean cruise is just a tad bit excessive. I'd be happy with a cupcake or - _

I paused, thinking about what I really wanted. I did need some new paint brushes. Mine were starting to get a little tattered. Though, what I really wanted was a date –

I blushed, glancing around as though everyone around me could hear my scandalizing thoughts. Thank god Jared couldn't read minds.

_- A balloon would be fine._

I slide it back to him, keeping my eyes on the teacher while I did so. I was always nervous about breaking the rules and being caught.

There was a pause while Jared read my note and I waited with baited breath. After another moment, he wrote something else. His pencil made a scraping on the paper, like it was being pressed down with too much pressure. I wondered why it didn't just crack under the weight.

I felt something touch my arm and I took the note without looking at Jared.

**What about a movie? I don't have a lot of cash, so I can't guarantee popcorn…**

I tried not to laugh. It was perfect. Maybe Jared could read minds…

And, was it such a bad thing if he could?

* * *

**author's note:** _I don't want to be one of those mean author's that demand a certain amount of reviews before posting, but I'm not getting lots of reviews like I used to! It's starting to get less and less. I want to know what you think! If you want me to keep going with this story, tell me! If you find something wrong with it, tell me! I won't be mad – I promise! I want to get better with my writing – that's the whole point of this being written by yours truly! (That and I love Jared…)_

_So, I'm not going to post until I get a descent amount of reviews – at least 30. It shouldn't be too hard when there are 115 of you alerting this. There are 200 favorites for this, too! There are + 10,000 hits! So, don't be lazy and GIVE ME FEEDBACK!_

_Gosh… is that too much to ask? ;)_

_But, I want to thank everyone that _has _been reviewing. You're the reason I'm still posting at this point. I can't thank you enough for all your support. Your all too kind! Thank you. _

_Now, I hope you all liked this chapter. It seems to me missing something to me, but I can't fine what it is every time I read it (which has been too many time.) I know there isn't too much Jared and Kim action (kissing like some of you have asked me about) – I'm taking it slow, building a foundation. I think Kim would think it a little strange that Jared was suddenly all over her and feeling her up. Even she, love obsessed, would notice something odd. Although, I don't think she'd protest… I wouldn't. _

_But, it won't be too much longer. I can promise that. Aren't you excited? I am. _

_So, how's everyone feeling about the movie – NOV. 21__st__? And OMG, SM not writing Mid-night Sun anymore? WFT!? (Anyone read the 12 chapters posted on her website? They. Are. AMAZING.) _

_How are you all feeling about the Prez – Obama or McCain? Stock market – scary huh? _

_Tell me everything in a __REVIEW!!__ Please, I beg you!!_

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_


	11. Chapter Ten: Little Black Dress

**Dedication: To Talulah-Bear. Feel better, hun!**

* * *

_Playlist: I really wrote this to a bunch of classical songs, but editing I listened to ADELE Chasing Pavements and Make You Feel My Love, and Brett Dennen Ain't Gonna Lose You. _

Chapter Ten – Little Black Dress:

Tryst – (noun) arrangement to meet, secret meeting

By Thursday, I was beginning to become a nervous wreck. My stress level was through the roof and I was convinced the amount of coffee I was consuming to make up for my lack of sleep, was going to be the death of me.

Either that or a panic attack.

It didn't help that Jared wasn't in school on Thursday. I thought he was late because he didn't meet at my locker, but when he didn't come third period, my mental sanity was questionable. I started asking random people where he was, but the answers were all different. "He's sick?"; "I saw him this morning walking on the road with some other guy…"; "We have a test today in chemistry, maybe he didn't study?"; "He's playing hooky?"; "I saw him last night, he was fine…"; "He's avoiding you, geek". None were very helpful in my search.

My mental strain was all based off the fact that I wanted our rendezvous to be fun and exciting, but also maybe a step forward. I started dreaming up scenarios in class about Jared's slung arm around my shoulders and holding my hand during the movie. Sometimes, he'd lean in and –

"Kim? Are you listening to me?"

I jolted away from my dozing on my hand, eyes wide and aware of Jenny's crossed arms and raised eye brow. She'd been very impatient with me ever since I'd told her of Jared's birthday present.

She and I were sitting in one of the rarely used picnic tables in the courtyard during our lunch break. The small town of La Push seemed to have wakened with the site of a sunny day. When I rode the bus that morning, people were out mowing lawns and gardening like it was no big deal, like it was a common phenomenon to pick weeds at seven in the morning.

While enjoying the sunny day, Jenny was helping me with some math homework that had giving me some trouble the night before. But, there was just one boy that kept distracting me…

"Kim! I'm serious! Stop dreaming about Jared and pay attention or I'm not going to waste time talking to myself! I'm trying to help you!" Jenny said aggravated.

"Sorry," I said shaking my head a little. I sat as straight as I could in my seat. I squinted at the math problem she was trying to explain to me. "I'm listening now."

"Good," Jenny said, leaning forward to continue. "Now Y needs to be isolated…"  
What if he kissed me? Where? I'd never been kissed by a boy before. Should I take lessons – wait, were there even lessons for these types of things? I don't want to go randomly kiss strangers. Should I be worried about this? We were friends, but if everything works out… he'll expect a kiss. Should I kiss him? What if I totally screw it up? I mean, that would be just embarrassing and I do want to be able to talk to Jared again –

"Kimberly, are you listening?"

"Yes!" I gasped, jolting my head up to meet Jenny's annoyed expression. "I'm listening."

She sighed, leaning back in her seat. "What's going on, Kim? You start blanking out for no reason and you're all hot and sweaty half the time. Are you nervous about something?"

Nervous, right…

"Uh, I just have a lot on my mind right now. And with Jared's movie present I'm just a – a little nervous about what's going to happen. I mean –"

"Your friends," Jenny said sharply. "It's not a date, but a movie that you'd see with me, Kim."

"Right," I muttered. "But, what if – "

"Nothing's going to happen because your friends," Jenny insisted. Her sure tone was disheartening. She was probably right anyway. My hopes seemed feeble in the big mind of things.

"Well, can't I dream – "

"It only gives you false hope," Jenny said loudly, slightly flustered. "Why get your hopes up if you're almost positive it won't happen? You're just setting yourself up for – for disaster!"  
I sank in my seat. She was right. Why was she always right?

"Look," Jenny said sighing. She rubbed her eyes. "Why don't I help you get ready for this present of his? That way you're not so worried about it."  
I smiled. "Thanks Jenny," I said sincerely. "I don't know what I'd do without you."  
"Fail math, that's what. Now listen…" Jenny muttered, leaning back over the math problem.

The rest of the day I was almost tranquil, but as I started to get closer to home (and eventually Friday) my stomach started to churn unpleasantly.

"How was school?" my mom asked when I got home and flopped on the couch. I hung my head off the end of it, hoping that the blood rushing to it would act as a numbing effect so my thoughts would stop racing.

"Eh," I grunted, rubbing my eyes. I saw white dots in my vision, but I still didn't sit up.

"Oh," my mom said. I heard her pause, before coming closer in her nurse shoes. They made a soft squishing sound whenever she put weight on her foot. "Are you, OK?"  
"Yeah," I sighed, sitting up. "Just stressed."

"About what?" my mom said sitting across from me. She sipped her coffee without breaking eye contact.

I shrugged, not really wanting to spill everything to my mom. She was horrible at advice giving.

"Well, I was thinking that tomorrow we go out to dinner to celebrate your – "

"I can't," I said bluntly. "I'm going to a movie with a friend."

She raised her eyebrows, as if to challenge my statement. "Jenny?"

I shook my head. "Just a friend from school."

She nodded, smiling widely at me. "A new friend?"

I nodded, again, not wanting to go into detail. If I even mentioned Jared, she's go all "OMG!" on me. I really didn't want to deal with all her stupid questions.

Like, if I liked him or not.

"That's great that you're making new friends!" she said standing. She smirked to herself and there was a spring to her step. If I didn't know any better, I would have said she was happy about my new friend.

Great.

"My mom's excited at the possibility that I still have a chance at being cool," I said later on the phone to Jenny. I was lying on my stomach, sprawled out on my bed. I was doodling in my note books, making hearts and writing Jared Thail all pretty with curls and swirls.

"Oh really? So she knows about Jared?"

"Well," I said, running a hand through my hair. "She knows everything she needs to know. Like, she doesn't need to know its Jared I'm going to the movie with and that his gender is male."

"Ah, right," Jenny said. I heard her munch on something. She had a horrible habit of eating on the phone. Sometimes, it sounded quite nasty.

"When Jared picks me up, she'll probably be at work. Although, she might purposely go in late just to see who my new friend is." I paused for a second, thinking. "I'll have to warn him, of course."  
"Right," Jenny muttered. "Don't want him freaked out."  
I nodded even though she couldn't see me.

"He'll be at school tomorrow, right?"

"Oh yeah," Jenny answered. "He has to come tomorrow. He's over his limit for excused absences."

I frowned, rolling over onto my back. "How do you know that? I don't even know that!"  
There was some shuffling on the other line before Jenny answered. "It's common sense, Kim."

"Oh," I mumbled. She had a point. He'd been gone for two weeks – 14 days. The limit was 10.

"Look, I have to go," Jenny said distractedly. "My mom's home and it looks like she saw my dad today."

I hung up and sighed. I felt bad for Jenny sometimes. Her parents weren't even on talking terms anymore and whenever her parents even saw each other, she was bombarded with insults and other hatefully things that she was expected to remember about the other parent. She was even expected to take sides sometimes. How could she when she still loved her parents? They were still her mom and dad whether or not if they were together or not.

I rubbed my eyes again before hearing a door being slammed shut and hurried steps up the stairs. They got louder as they approached my bedroom door, but stopped suddenly.

There was a knock and a voice, "Kim! Open up! I have something for you!"  
"Just come in, Anna," I said, sitting up.

She walked in holding what looking like a bag on a hanger. She was grinning widely. "I found this and it's perfect for you! You just have to wear it tomorrow!"

"Ok," I said getting excited. I reached for it, but Anna pulled it back.

"Promise you'll wear it?" she said looking at me expectantly. "It's my birthday present to you and I'd be offended if you didn't."

I nodded, grinning. "I promise!"

- - -

I was so angry at Anna. I couldn't believe that she was so manipulative, enough to force me into something that she knew I hated!

I stormed into school, scowling as I walked towards my locker. There was a breeze where one shouldn't be, and blisters forming from the flats that had come out of Anna's closet.

It was a dress. Anna's present was a stupid dress, black with a stain ribbon just under my breast line, and she forced me into wearing it. I kept pulling at it, blushing at how much leg it was showing. It only went about mid-thigh and I felt like was I was flashing everyone as I walked down the hallway.

I was so_ exposed._

"Hey Jenny," I said morosely. I didn't even try to sit down, but held the dress down like if I held it at my knee it would magically grow. She noticed my tone and looked up immediately.

"Hey K – " she paused, eyeing my clothes. A small smile tugged her lips. "Are you wearing a dress?"

I nodded, frowning at her light tone. I figured she should be just as angry as I was at this. "Anna tricked me into wearing it. I feel so… I feel like a – a you know what!"

"Oh, the S word?" Jenny asked. She nodded her head understandingly. "You don't look like one if it makes you feel any better. You actually look very nice."

I rolled my eyes. I might have looked nice, but I was beyond uncomfortable. I didn't want ot wear this. Besides, while forcing me into the dress this morning, Anna had insisted on doing my hair. I never wore my hair up, but today it was twisted in an elegant bun, exposing my slender neck.

"Hey Jenny, have you seen Kim?"

I jumped, noticing Jared for the first time on my left. He was looking at Jenny with an impatient expression. He kept glancing over his shoulder, as though he was afraid of missing something.

Jenny cocked her head to the side, letting her eyes travel to me very slowly.

Jared's eyes swiveled to look at me, only to soften and widen with surprise. "Kim?"

I gave a little wave, blushing and ducking my head. I almost started to cry from the lack of hair to hide behind. Instead, I wrapped the thin sweater Anna had given me, around my body tighter.

"Wow, you look – " His eyes dragging up my frame very slowly, darkening when they traveled up my legs and up toward my face. I tried not to shiver at the way he looked at me. It was odd and slightly unnerving – no one had ever looked at me like that. " - you look amazing," Jared said quietly. His voice seemed huskier than usual. His eyes were almost black, staring at me so intensely I was almost afraid of what he was capable of.

"Thanks," I said in a small voice. My cheeks turned red and I looked down, tugging at my dress again. I sighed frustrated when it didn't stay.

We were silent for a moment before Jenny cleared her throat and stood, holding out a card to me. "Happy Birthday!"

I took it, smiling my thanks.

"It's only the first part of your gift," she said smiling. "The rest will come when I come over tonight – "

"But, we're still going to the movie, right?" Jared interrupted. His eyes stared at Jenny, as though he was accusing her of something.

"Yeah," I said, smiling. "Jenny's just coming over to help me get ready – "

I stopped, turning my head away. I was making this little outing sound like a date. I could only hope Jared hadn't noticed.

"Oh, okay," Jared said smiling. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll pick you up at seven then. The movie's at eight."

I nodded shyly, fingering the edge of my dress. I shifted the sweater so I could wrap it more firmly around me. When I looked up, Jared leaned close to my ear, making my heart skip a beat. His hot breath brushed across my neck.

"Happy Birthday," he said quietly. "You really do look nice."

He leaned away before winking once and then turned to walk down the hall. I watched him until he disappeared behind the corner, before turning to Jenny who appeared rather annoyed.

"What's wrong Jenny?"

She hesitated before pulling me down the hall. Her head leaned in close to mine. She whispered,

"I get an odd feeling from Jared. Something isn't right. He seems to like you too much, you know?"

I frowned, not seeing how that was a bad thing. "What does that mean?"

"I just think that he's… hiding something," she whispered, shrugging her shoulders.

"I don't mine," I said, shrugging. We all had secrets. It was only natural that he had his.

Jenny mumbled something else, but I didn't catch it. I frowned, watching her sulk in her seat. It was as though she was depressed that I was happy. Was it really so hard for her just to expect Jared?

- - -

Jenny came home with me after school, helping me pick out some nice jeans and my favorite pair of green converse, before pulling my hair back down from its bun. I picked out my favorite hooded and left it un-zipped because it went well with my favorite, black Bumbershoot t-shirt.

I had catch Jared staring at me during English. His eyes weren't exactly always on my face, but eyeing my dress and the way it clung to my thin frame. As much as I liked the way he looked at me, I couldn't focus on anything but him and wonder why he was looking at me like he was. Sometimes it was like at my locker – dark and smoldering – but other times he looked frustrated, like he didn't like what I was wearing.

I figured if I was going out of my comfort zone on this date, I could at least be comfortable with what I was wearing.

"No!" Anna complained when she saw me after changing. "At least just clip your hair back from your face!"

She wouldn't let it go until I clipped my hair halfway up, freeing my face from the cover I craved.

"Oh, you look so pretty!" Anna said clapping her hands once in her excitement. She nudged Jenny. "Right?"

Jenny smiled, nodding. "You look great."

I grinned, blushing from the compliments. I wasn't used to so much attention. But, for some reason, I didn't feel so self-conscious. I didn't have the urge to flip my hair to hide my face.

I tensed when I heard my mom come down from the hallway, keys jiggling softly and her nurse shoes squishing quietly as she walked. She was humming and I smelled the coffee she was no doubt holding.

"My, don't you look nice," She said smiled when she saw me on display in the living room. "Someone might think you had a hot date!"

Anna started howling and Jenny giggle. I smiled weakly, trying not to blush.

My mom smiled, thinking she cracked a joke. It kind of hurt she didn't think that I was capable of attracting the opposite sex. Did she think I wasn't pretty enough? Smart enough? What suggested that I was not girlfriend material?

I sighed, letting myself flop on the couch next to the window, so I could wait for Jared.

"I'm going to work," my mom announced, pulling open the front door. "Anna could you unload the dishwasher? And Kim, have fun tonight!"

I smiled softly, watching her walk out to her car and drive away down the street.

"Well, I thought she'd stay to meet Jared," Anna said after a moment, standing.

"Me too," I said quietly.

Jenny frowned confusedly. "She doesn't know its Jared though, right?"

"What? You didn't tell her?" Anna said placing her hands on her hips. She arched on of her perfectly plucked eyebrows.

I shook my head, squirming under her gaze. "I didn't want her to start… freaking out that it was a boy taking me to the movies."  
Anna rolled her eyes and walked away, huffing as she went.

I shrugged to Jenny and waited.

And waited and waited and waited…

I started to feel sick when the clock inched pass half pass 8. What was holding Jared up? My heart started to sink when I realized that maybe he wasn't planning on showing up.

"He'll be here," Jenny said quietly. She eyed my expression. "He'll be here, don't worry."

I hoped she was right.

* * *

**author's note:** _Don't hate me! I know, cliffhangers are evil, but I had to. There was no other place to stop. But, aren't you proud of me that I updated so quickly? Late nights and all of Saturday to finish this, but I got it done, right? (:_

_Did you know that I got 50 reviews last chapter? 50! I usually only get 20 or so. You are all holding back! So evil, my readers, so evil… _

_I'm not going to say "more than 50 for the next update", but hopefully you'll all take the hint that I really want reviews. Lots and lots of reviews. Last chapter I got some really ego-boosting ones and most of them really made my day. I was grinning around the house and I swear my mom thought I was on something. (:_

_Some of you really spoke out against my chapter and author's note on chapter nine. I loved it. :D_

_(It's come to my attention that the New York Giants are indeed a football team – not a baseball team. That was seriously my bad. One of these days when I get some time, I'll fix it. But, really that was just an epic fail on my part since I have two brothers, a boyfriend, and a dad that could have verified that fact for me. *rolls eyes* So, again, my apologies.)_

_QUESTIONS BROUGHT UP IN LATEST REVIEWS:_

_I think I was loosing some of you a little with Jenny's, Paul's, and even Kim's actions. You have to remember that Jenny didn't think Kim would ever be close to having Jared more than an attraction from afar. She's a little scared at this point that Kim's fantasies are coming true so fast. What must she think?_

_On Kim's defense, she hasn't ever been in the position of where she's had to juggle two friends that hate each other before. In her world, it's pretty much just been her and Jenny._

_Some of you mentioned that Kim should have something going on in her life besides Jared. No, because that defeats the purpose of this story. Example, if I made Kim really into dancing, then her obsession wouldn't be so focused on Jared, but on her passion – dancing. I'm playing on the fact that Kim's a little loved obsessed. She has hobbies (painting I've mentioned) so she does have somewhat of a life. I haven't told all of the hobbies yet either, so just be patient!_

_Paul, he's also thrown out of his comfort zone. Some of you pointed out that Jared and Paul share thoughts – that's the whole point! They share thoughts; Paul can hear Jared's thoughts about Kim. There will be more with Paul later in the next couple chapters and hopefully this will all make sense._

_Does that make sense and help what I'm trying to get you guys to read into? You had some really valid points, so I wanted to address them before continuing with the story. _

_This chapter was really important. Hopefully, again, you all paid attention to the small, little, IMPORTANT details that I kind of threw in there. I'm also hoping you liked it… Yes, the "date" will be next chapter. Try not to be disappointed though… everything will come! I promise!_

_Please REVIEW!!! Please, I beg you!! _

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_

_Btw – I can't remember if I used this story as a… advertisement for my other story I wrote awhile back. __Honey and the Moon__ is about one of the new six werewolves introduced at the end of Breaking Dawn. If you like this story, you might enjoy it. (It's only a one-shot. A couple minutes won't kill you.) And, don't forget to review! I'd love to hear what you have to say about it._

_Now, I'm going to shut up because this author's note has become beastly in length. (:_


	12. Chapter Eleven: Star Struck

Dedication:_ This is becoming sort of a routine isn't it? I just wanted to dedicate this chapter to persephonesfolly because the reviews and wonderful/fabulous/amazing PM I got just really blow everything out of the water and flatter me way to much. My ego is way to big now and it's really all your fault. ;)_

Playlist:_ How I love iTunes. I splurged on Tuesday and wrote this chapter to Lady Gaga (Starstruck made me think of Kim), John Legend (This Time), and Snow Patrol (If There's a Rocket Tie Me to It). Also, Jon Foreman's new album – only I listened to Broken from the Start only. (Though, The Cure for the Pain is my favorite song from him.) I suggest all these albums to you – including Pink's new album. They are all very well done and worth the purchase._

Chapter Eleven – Star Struck:

_phenomenon – (noun) something experienced, something notable, extraordinary person or thing _

I almost cried in relief. Just when it turned 9 o'clock, a beat up black truck pulled up into the driveway and very flustered and upset Jared hopped out of the car.

"Oh finally," Jenny muttered and I hurried to the door. I might have been angry if it was different circumstances, but at that moment, the only thing that mattered was that Jared was here and ready for our non-date.

Besides, it was unbelievable that I was even in the position to be stood up – by him no less!

"Hey Kim," Jared said relieved, when I opened the door. He hadn't even made it up all the way on the porch. He ran a hand threw his hair. "I'm really sorry I'm late. I got… held up."

"That's OK," I sighed, stuffing my phone in my back pocket and making sure that I had spare money. I sighed, trying to calm myself. I was so excited.

I glanced back to say good-bye to Jenny. But, her expression made the good-bye catch in my throat.

"Why were you late?" Jenny said suspiciously. She crossed her arms and an eyebrow rose.

"Jenny, it's OK," I said. "I'll see you later."

I quickly stepped outside and shut the door before she could start talking again. I could tell by her expression that she was ready to let Jared have it. I didn't have the energy to try and sort out any mess she was just begging for. I didn't understand why she was so against Jared. Why was she always emphasizing his flaws?

I walked carefully, conscious that Jared was right behind me. I didn't understand why he was following me until he leaned over me to grab the handle of the truck and open the door for me. I was shocked, standing there watching him for a moment before mentally shaking myself and climbing in. I tired not to let my overwhelming happiness show. I thought boys only had chivalry like that in movies. It was kind of unbelievable that it happened to me and that Jared was the one to be chivalrous.

I watched Jared gracefully speed walk around the front of end of the truck. He gave a glance at the house when he passed the licenses plate. The thought of Jenny made guilt seep up into my stomach. I shouldn't have just shut her out like that. She only wanted the best for me, but couldn't she understand that Jared was as good as they got?

"I'm really am sorry, Kim," Jared apologized again when he got into the truck. He ran a hand through his hair, gently tugging at it. It was long enough that he got a nice handful. "I made us miss the movie…"

I shrugged, grinning. I didn't care what happened now. As long as Jared was with me, my birthday would be the best ever.

"How about we just go to dinner?" Jared said after a moment, turning his key and making the trucks enough sputter to life. "I know this burger joint in Port Angles. They have ice cream."

"Sounds great," I managed to say, still grinning. My cheeks were staring to hurt, but the smile wouldn't slip from my face. My happiness level was through the roof. Life was just too good.

"I'm short on cash right now, but we'll make it work," Jared said quietly, turning to look over his shoulder to back out of the driveway. I'm not sure if he meant for me to hear.

"I can pay for my meal," I said shrugging.

Jared looked offended. "I'm not going to let you pay! It's my present, remember?"

"Well, if you need to – "

"Kim," Jared said, slowing the car to a crawl. He turned his gaze to me. "If we're going to do this, you're going to have to let me treat."

I nodded immediately.

Jared sighed, running his hand, yet again, through his hair. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little… stressed."

I didn't say anything, but watched him speed the car back up. There were bags under his eyes and his hair was sticking up from where he kept fiddling with it. His shirt looked ruffled and his jeans were worn and tearing around his knees and at the ends. I gasped, staring at a long cut running from the edge of Jared's t-shirt to his elbow. It looked fresh. "Jared! You're – "

Jared slammed on the brakes, turning to look at me so fast I thought he was in danger of getting whiplash.

"– hurt," I finished lamely, once I'd gotten the air back from the seat belt I was thrown into.

Jared stared at me for a moment before, turning slowly to his arm. He chuckled nervously. "Oh that. Yeah, it's nothing."

"It – it looks like it hurts," I whispered, running a finger gently besides it. I narrowed my eyes at it. Maybe it was the lighting, but I could have sworn it hadn't had a scab on it a minute ago.

Jared shivered, staring at me with hooded eyes. My breath caught in my throat and I fell… falling deeply into his gaze. I couldn't… breathe.

"I'm OK," Jared said looking away. He rubbed his arm like it itched.

I took a deep breath, trying to clear my head. "Are you cold?"

He looked confusedly at me.

"You shivered," I clarified.

"N – Yeah," I he said, grabbing a dark blue sweat shirt from the back seat. "Yes, I'm cold."

I frowned, noticing the cut had shrunk in size. I shook my head, rolling my eyes at myself. Maybe I'd thought it worse than it was.

We were silent, speeding through the small neighborhoods at the outskirt of La Push. Jared seemed to have relaxed, but his white knuckles gave him away. I wondered what he was stressed about.

"So," Jared said after a few minutes of silence. I'd drifted in-between thoughts, unconsciously examining the truck's interior. The foam was coming out of the cheap leather seats, the dash was scraped and dusty, the radio looked worn out, and there was an air freshener in the shape of a tree hanging from the rear - view mirror, although the car itself smelled more like peppermint and cigarettes. There were a few empty coke cans by my feet, an empty coke was still in the cup holder, and some loose change was in the other. It was a boy's truck all right. It seemed all was missing was booze and some porn magazines. "How's your day been so far? Your birthday been one to remember?"

"Yes, definitely," I said smiling. I blushed, wanting to tell him that it wouldn't be so great if he still didn't know I existed. But, the embarrassment of it all was holding me back, cramming the thought back in my head before my traitorous mouth could make it verbal.

Jared glanced at me, smiling. "Get something good?"

_You taking me on a date_, I thought. I turned my head to look out the window so he wouldn't see my blush. "Uh, my parents are working today because you're taking me out. So, we're celebrating it tomorrow."

"You haven't gotten anything yet?"

I rolled my eyes, grinning in spite of myself. "Well, this and my sisters gag gift."

Jared wrinkled his brow. "Gag gift?"

"The dress she made me wear," I said, scowling. I wrinkled my nose. "She knows I hate dresses."

"Is that why you're not wearing it? I thought you looked very pretty in it today," Jared said lowly.

My face grew hot and I bashfully, tucked my head. I said quietly, "Thanks Jared."

We were quiet for a moment; the only sound was the trucks protest against Jared's foot against the gas pedal. I tried to keep my breathing normal and my head clear from the fuzziness Jared caused it with such innocent comments.

"Why didn't you want a party?" Jared asked suddenly.

"I – I – well… you know," I mumbled, twirling a piece of my hair. "I – I just… don't… like them."

Jared nodded; his eyes on the road. "That's reasonable."

I drew little doodles on my jeans with my finger, too cowardly to look up at him. What must he think?

"What do you like to do? Like, what are your hobbies?" Jared asked after another moment.

I blushed, running the very short, almost non-existent list in my head. "I paint."

"Paint?" he asked, glancing at me. He shifted his body closer to mine, one hand on the steering wheel while the other lay on the arm rest. "Wow, that's cool. What do you paint?"

I shrugged. Did he really think it was cool or was he just saying that? How did we get to hobbies from parties? Did Jared like parties? I resisted rolling my eyes. Of course, Jared Thail liked parties. I should have had a better excuse for why I didn't have one…

Jared frowned. "You ok?"

"Oh yeah," I said, shakily smiling at him. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine," he said quietly. He was still frowning at me.

"I'm really not that cool," I blurted out, only to clamp a hand to my mouth. My eyes widened and I tried not to die from my embarrassment.

He smirked, leaning back in his chair. "I know."

"Well –huh?" I asked weakly. What was he talking about?

"I know you're not very popular or anything," Jared said shrugging. "It doesn't matter to me that you enjoy painting more than going to parties. Or, that you have more friends in band than the football team. Actually, it's kind of refreshing that you're not into the gossip stream."

I didn't believe my ears.

"My mom is, "I murmured, barely at a whisper. Jared didn't seem to hear, though the muscles in his jaw tightened.

"Was that what you were worried about?" Jared asked, looking at me during the red light. His eye searched my face. "About what I think?"

"I mean," I said, panicking slightly. "You're cool and I'm… I'm a nerdy freak that – that doesn't really have a social life. And, now that your talking to me, I just don't want you to leave – "

"I'm not leaving," Jared said loudly, forcefully. His eyes flashed. "I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to, Kim."

I stared at him. His eyes were holding me so I couldn't look away and I felt strange, kind of euphoric. I became very relaxed.

"You make me nervous when you start over thinking everything," Jared said chuckling. He ran a hand through his hair again. I briefly wondered if that was his nervous habit. But, why would he be nervous around me?

I shrugged. "I can't help it," I told him honestly.

"I know," Jared muttered pulling into the parking lot of a small café. "That's the problem."

I frowned, following him out of the truck and into the café. What was he talking about?

There was a lady, an artificial blond, in a red uniform, leaning against the counter of the bar. She looked up from her magazine when we walked in. I couldn't help but notice how she stood straighter, straightening her 50's dress and ran a hand through her hair. I wanted to take Jared's hand, as if to mark him mine, but I couldn't find the courage to reach out and grab it. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans anyway.

"Right this way," the lady said, leading the way to our table. The way her hips swung, I felt the angry green monster start ripping my stomach apart.

We were seated in on of the back booths, away from the crowd. I could just make out the cook's hats bobbing back in the kitchens behind the bar area.

"So, what can I get you?" the lady asked. She leaned forward slightly. I didn't understand why until I saw her boobs practically falling out of her shirt.

I mean _really._

"I'll have a coke," Jared muttered, glancing at the menu. He wasn't paying attention to her. I felt a serge of confidence.

"Me too," I said. I smiled sweetly at her.

When she left, Jared leaned closer to me. His eyes connected with mine and I felt myself being sucked in. He said quietly, "Kim, it's bothering me that I feel like I don't – don't _know_ you. I really have no clue about really anything – like your favorite color or animal! I have no idea what you like!"

"I'm not that hard to figure – "  
"But, that's the problem," Jared said, smiling at me. "You are. You always throw me a curve ball or do the thing I don't expect."

"Jenny –"

"Jenny has known you longer than I have. And as much as I hate that, she's really the one that can relate to you best," he sighed, pausing. "I really want to just know everything about you. Like, what's your favorite food?"  
"I don't have one," I said, shyly. His words were making me blush again. At this rate, I was going to be permanently red.

Jared laughed, grinning. "I don't either. Although, I do have a weakness for marshmallows."  
I stuck my tongue out, secretly tucking that valuable information under my 'Jared Thail' file. "Those are gross!"

"Au contraire, sweetheart. They are _good,"_ Jared said, rubbing his stomach.

I shivered from the way he said 'good', letting it roll off his tongue. It sounded so… _sensual._

"Here are your cokes," the waitress lady said, plopping two cokes in front of us. "Are you ready to order your meal?"  
"Uh," I stuttered. I'd been too bust talking to Jared to look at the menu. "I'll have a burger."  
"Cheese?"

I nodded, smiling politely at her. I tried not to glare at her.

"And for you, _honey,"_ the lady asked, pronouncing her words slowly. I didn't know what she was playing at, but it was getting annoying. Why did she have to lean on the table?

"Same only without cheese," Jared said, snapping his menu shut and holding it out to her. He smirked, "It's Kim's birthday, by the way."

I blushed. I hated singing waiters.

She hesitated before grinning widely at me. "Well, why didn't you say?" She winked before sauntering off.

"So," Jared said, leaning towards me again. He acted as though nothing had happened. He rested his elbows on the table and his head in his hands, watching me with his dark eyes. "Do you like to do anything other than paint?"

"I like to cook," I said simply. "I watch my mom when she makes dinner. Sometimes I make dinner because she's late to work or something. It's relaxing and it's fun to create something."  
Jared nodded, smiling at me. "That's awesome. I _love_ food."  
I giggled, twirling a piece of my hair and leaning back in the booth.

"Anything else?"  
I couldn't help but have a flash of sitting on the floor while Jenny read dating tips from cheap magazines.

"Oh, just watching TV and stuff like that," I said. I took a sip of coke.

"What don't I know about you that most people don't," he asked, mimicking my action. Only, his sip emptied half the glass.

I wasn't about to go declaring my love for him right then and there on our non-date. Friends didn't do that.

And that wasn't very mysterious.

"I'm allergic to cats, but my sister feeds a stray named Felix – against my parent's wishes. And, in seventh grade I tried being a vegetarian with Jenny after she told me about how the pigs were treated before being slaughtered. But, after the first week my mom made bacon on that Sunday and I gave in."

"You're allergic to cats?" he asked me, eyes light and amused. He seemed to be enjoying a private joke.

"Yeah, when my Aunt Susie brought her fluffy white cat over when I was ten, I had to go to the hospital since I had such a bad reaction. Since then, I can't get within twenty feet of a cat or I start to wheeze," I told him, staring at the coke bubbles. I looked up at him, "Why are you?"  
"Well," he grinned, flashing all his teeth. "Something like that."

There was a pause. I took another sip to stall and try and think of something to say.

"Your turn" I said suddenly. My stomach started to grow hot. What didn't I know about Jared?

"Uh, well," he narrowed his eyes at a napkin. "I'm lactose intolerant."

I frowned. I already knew that.

"I know that's a bad one," he said quickly, leaning back slightly. "I'm… uh, I like to cliff dive and I hate flying."

"Flying? Like in a plane?" I asked my eyes bugged at the new information. I shifted forward in my seat so I was sitting at the edge of the booth, pressed against the table.

"I had a bad experience with a plane…" he mumbled, trailing off. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was turned down in a frown.

I looked away, feeling that it was a touchy subject. "Oh…"

We were silent for a moment, before I realized that his facts he gave were stupid. I wanted something in detail, like he can't live without his teddy bear or he hates his sister or he's scared his parents are going to break up or he's not ready for the future or he's afraid of not being accepted in the world or – or that he's been secretly in love with me…

"It's cool that you can paint," Jared said suddenly. He turned his rich eyes on me. "Would you ever paint me something?"

I blushed and watched my hands, not being able to meet his eye. "Sure, I guess."

"I bet you're really good," he said almost proudly, like he was bragging about me to someone else – having no doubt in my ability. I didn't feel so sure.

"I've won a couple school things, but I think it was just because I was the only one that entered," I mumbled, playing with the straw in my glass, too embarrassed to look at him.

"Well see? You're fantastic then. Can I see some sometime?" he asked, ignoring the last part of my explanation. His eyes were burning.

I shrugged. "I guess so. If you want, I mean."

He nodded and then smiled at me, showing all his straight white teeth. I was somewhat envious. I had had braces for four years, my teeth cost more than my parent's car, and they weren't as perfect as his were.

"Here's your food," the waitress plopped our food in front of us. I gawked at the size of the burger. I didn't think I could wrap my mouth around it, let alone finish it. "Anything else?  
Jared shook his head and immediately started to eat.

We didn't talk much– Jared would ask the occasional 'what's your favorite color' type of questions - until both for us were full. Jared ended up eating more than half my burger and most of my fries. I had no idea where he put it all.

The waitress gave us the bill and I watched Jared carefully count out the dollars and cents.

Then _they _came.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!"

Four of the waitresses and waiters came out of the back with a small chocolate sundae with a candle sticking out of it on a tray. They sung at the top of their lungs so everyone in the restaurant turned in the seats to see the loser who was being sung at.

Too bad it was me.

I glanced at Jared who was grinning widely. My stomach somersaulted and I had to remember to breath. He was so handsome…

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!" The singers sang, dragging out the syllables. They all clapped with the end of the song and our waitress, that had been serving our table, set the ice cream platter carefully in front of me.

"Enjoy!" she said before the singers dispersed and I was left alone with Jared and a sundae the size of my hand.

"You can't have any, can you?" I asked quietly, staring at it.

"Nah," Jared said. "It's OK though. I don't think I would like ice cream anyway."

I sighed, smiling at him. "Thanks Jared. This has been the best birthday ever."

Jared's smile turned crookedly and the dimple in his right cheek showed. There was a tingling sensation caused by the sight, deep down in the pit of my stomach. "Good," he said firmly.

We talked for a few more minutes while I stuffed myself with ice cream, before going back to the truck and driving home. I felt more comfortable with Jared that I had been at the start of the night. I'd always known he was easy going, but his relaxed attitude was more than just calm and collected. He didn't take anything too seriously and was very light and teasing. I didn't feel like I could say something that would push him away. I didn't have to fear that I would say something to offend him or be afraid to tell him what I really thought. He didn't make anything awkward and he listened.

When we rolled into my driveway, the first thing I noticed was my dad's car parked where my mom was parked earlier that afternoon. I wondered what time it was and if it was under my curfew. Although, I realized I'd never had a reason to have a curfew.

"Who's that?" Jared asked quietly, pointing to my dad's Honda.

"My dad," I answered, staring straight ahead. Suddenly, curfew was the last thing on my mind.

"I'll walk you up to the door," Jared said, opening his door.

"OK," I said quietly. My previous nervous were back and my stomach was flopping wildly.

I followed Jared to the door, staying close behind him. He was so tall, but didn't look disproportioned. He looked lean and my thoughts turned to what could possible be under –

"Kim?"

I almost ran into Jared when he suddenly stopped. My dad was standing in the front doorway with his arms crossed.

"Who's this?" my dad asked, eyeing Jared up and down.

"My friend who, well, _was_ going to take me to the movies," I stuttered nervously. I glanced up to see Jared's reaction, but his face was expressionless.

"I didn't know he was a he," my dad said. His voice grew louder.

"Dad, I'll be just a minute," I said, gently pushing my dad back into the house.

He grunted, but complied. "Leave the door open."

I blushed and avoid eye contact with Jared. We were quiet for a moment, before he spoke.

"So," Jared muttered, clearing his throat. He stuffed his hands in his pocket and rocked back on his heels. "Your dad seems nice."

"I'm sorry," I muttered embarrassed. "I knew he would act like this if I told him about you."

Jared chuckled. "Nah, I was expecting that."

"Oh," I said, lost for what to say next. Wasn't Jared supposed to be the master of these date things?

"Well, good-night then," Jared said quietly. His tone made me look up. His eyes were burning again. My soul seemed exposed to him, but I didn't feel the need to squirm. It was almost like I didn't have to.

"I had – had fun," I stuttered, blushing to the roots of my hair. I ducked my head. Why did everything I say sound so lame?

"I'm glad," Jared answered. I could hear his smile in his rough voice. "I had a great time too."

I glanced up and flashed a small smile at him. But, his grin made me duck my head shyly, again.

Then suddenly, I noticed him leaning in. I gasped, my nerves made my heart leap in my chest and my stomach flop to the floor. What was I suppose to do?  
I decided that I would close my eyes and just wait and go with the flow. Just like the movies.

A few seconds later I heard Jared chuckle against my cheek. His hot breath made my cheek tinge and shivers run down my back. "Good-night Kim. Happy Birthday."

Then, he gently kissed me. It was on the cheek, but just the contact from his lips made me rock dizzily.

My eyes flashed open when I felt him move away. He walked back to his car languorously, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. He winked at me before driving off, a crooked smile on his lips.

I fell against the porch railing, holding on for dear life, and sighed. The world was turning fuzzy and I felt my breathing become irregular – hyperventilating.

_Jared Thail_ had just _kissed me._

* * *

**author's note:** _If you notice, this is the longest chapter so far. (Not including my unnecessary, completely beastly, and very over the top author's note. They really are getting ridiculous in size. Does anyone actually read them??) You're welcome. A whole chapter of just Jared and Kim, exceeding my maximum word count so far. Plus, with a little treat at the end that most of you were probably waiting for. _

_I'm just kidding. I hope this satisfied your lack of Jared and Kim action and made up for the very evil cliffhanger I left you guys with. Tell me everything in a _review!! 

_Do you realize that getting you all to review is like pulling teeth? I get 50 and then only get 31. What is keeping you from reviewing? I want you to review! What do I have to do to get you to write a very simple "update soon"? That even gives me enough info that you're enjoying it enough that you want more! _

_So please, as a Halloween treat, REVIEW!!!_

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_

_A side note – a very sweet review that asked a lot of important questions - _

trsgrl – in response to your first review (I'm so honored!):

It did not suck in the slightest. You made me smile for hours!! I'm so glad you're paying attention to Anna, because yes, there is something going on with her… I won't say because you'll find out in later chapters. I'm sorry to keep leaving you hanging on the subject! I really don't mean to. She's hard to write – I don't have an older sister and my friends are all older sisters so I can't really relate, you know?

Jared and Jenny… yes, difficult situation for Kim. Again, it'll be eventually resolved as chapters go on. Did you read my author's note? I tried to explain my thinking – or Jenny's for that matter. Remember, she doesn't know how to share Kim because it's always been her and Kim – no one else.

I'm so glad you like Kim! She's so much fun to write! She makes me laugh all the time and I'm really glad everyone can relate. That's what I'm going for. (:

Thank you for such a nice review! I hope I answered all your questions – or at least touched them enough so you're satisfied.

Thanks for the review! It's greatly appreciated.

**Happy Halloween!!**


	13. Chapter Twelve: Green Peas

_Playlist: My boyfriend, finally accepting that I have twilight fever, bought me the last copy of the Twilight movie soundtrack at Target because I'm a poor high school student that doesn't have a job that I desperately need. I knew there was a reason I was keeping him around. lol. ;] __(My favorites are the Paramore – Bella's lullaby is a disappointment. PM me and we'll talk.)_

Chapter Twelve – Green Peas:

_Ambiance – (noun) the typical atmosphere or mood of a place _

"– and she was out with him until 11:30 last night!" my dad raved, pacing in front of the dinning table I was sitting at. My mom was sitting across from me. The more my dad talked about what happened with the boy I was out with last night, the more her smile grew wider.

When my mom got home from work at 6 am, my dad pulled me out of bed and sat me down. I grumbled about being up at ungodly hour on a Saturday, but his purple face stifled my complaints. He started retelling what he saw last night and the _boy_ he saw me with to my mom, hoping she's disapprove as much as he did. It was obvious that he wasn't happy about this situation.

My dad paused in his speech, hands on his hips, and turned his head to look at us.

Brandon, my father of 56, was a tall man. He had dark raven colored hair, straight as a stick, that had strands staring to gray, but it wasn't thinning. He kept it pulled back in a neat pony tail at the base of his neck, but from his angry ranting, it had come undone and was swaying with the motion of his pacing. My dad was not a skinny man, but had broad shoulders and was gaining a belly with every passing year. He usually was very calm and collected, never loosing his temper over small things except for when some one (usually a boy) messed with his daughters (whether we wanted them to or not) he got very flustered and was breathing down our necks about it every chance he could. After four years, my dad still hated Anna's boyfriend Sean – no matter how polite he was to my dad. My dad hated him with a passion that couldn't be stifled.

"Well Heather," my dad asked my mom. His chest was heaving and he ran a hand though his hair, just now realizing it wasn't pulled back anymore. "I think we – "

"Oh Kimberly!" my mom squealed, jumping up like she couldn't hold it in anymore. An insane grin was plastered on her face. She pranced over to me to give me an awkward hug. "Isn't it so wonderful? You have a boyfriend! And, it's about time, honey!"  
I didn't smile. "Yeah, it's great. But, he's not my – "

"Oh, Brandon," my mom said pacing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure this boy was a perfect gentleman to our Kimberly."

"Kimmy," my dad said sternly, placing a hand on his hip. He looked me straight in the eye as though to make sure I wasn't lying. "Was he?"

I nodded, looking down at my hands. I felt so awkward.

"Good. I want to meet this boy –"

"What's his name?" my mom asked, getting in my face. Her smile was still curving her lips.

"Uh, I don't think you know him," I said blushing. Of course my mom knew who Jared Thail was. Everyone knew him. His dad, before he passed away, was on the tribal council. But, that didn't mean that I wanted to tell her anymore willingly.

"Try me," she said, sitting across from me. She leaned in eagerly. "Well?"

I saw Anna lean in the doorway with her arms crossed. The white of her teeth stood out from her russet colored skin, so I knew she was smiling and if I didn't tell my mother, she would.  
"Jared Thail," I said quietly, watching my mom's reaction. It wasn't what I expected. She turned white and her smile slid off her face. Her eyes widened and she gasped, like she couldn't breath.

"Mom?" I asked hesitantly, nervous.

"You're not to see that boy again," my mom said, standing. She looked around lost, covering her mouth with a hand.

"Mom –" Anna protested. My mother cut her off with a hand.

My mouth dropped open. "But, mom that's not – "  
"Go to your room! I don't want to hear it!" she yelled, pointing in the direction to my room. She was turning a sickly green. "Anna, leave it be."

I slowly rose, hearing Anna huffed and stomp away. I didn't want to leave, but argue that nothing was going to stop me from seeing Jared. But, the sheer whiteness of my mother stopped me. She obviously had a reason why she was putting a restriction on my infatuation. I walked away quietly, trying to hold in my tears. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't I see Jared? Couldn't I make my own judgments and decisions?

Halfway down the long hallway, I heard my mother start muttering furiously. Jared's name caught my attention. I sneaked back to the kitchen. Why confront when you could eavesdrop?

"- and Mary said that she's seen them running around without shirt or shoes on – just ratty pants hanging of there hips," my mother's voice drifted towards me. I sat down, my back pressed against the wall, my ears titled towards the voices in the next room. "Jean, down the street, has seen them fighting and acting like wild men!"

"Joe said that Jacob Black is now running around with them. He was such a good boy too. Billy Black never had to worry about him getting into trouble," my dad's voice answered. I could imagine him shaking his head. "Now that Billy can't walk, you'd think Jacob would be a little more responsible."

"It's a wonder why all these boys have formed some sort of _cult_. Sam Uley used to be a great kid as well, always helping his mother since his dad left. Maybe the stress of it all finally got to him."

"Well," my dad said, "the word on the street is that Emily Young is caring his child and he didn't want Leah to know."

"Is that why he ran away?"

"Well, there was the bear attack that happened. Maybe he feels sorry for her."

"I don't want Kimberly involved with hooligans like them – "

I felt like screaming. Jared, _my Jared,_ in a cult? No, that couldn't be. Emily Young wasn't pregnant – she had always been a little heavy set, but she wasn't gaining weight. But her scars, is that why Sam ditched Leah Clearwater? Why was Jared involved with them anyway? He wasn't ever friends with them before…

I stumbled to my room, closing the door behind me. I fell against it, sighing. I held my head in my hands and tried to make sense of everything. Was this why he was late last night? How did he get the gash on his arm? Jared has said it was refreshing that I wasn't in the gossip stream. What had he meant by that? Was this all rumor? I tried not to burst from all the questions that needed answers. They burned me and ached in my head. I struggled to keep my sanity while doing laundry and watching boring movies. Nothing distracted my thought enough to suppress the throbbing.

On Monday, I'd gotten dresses carefully. I put more thought into my choice of clothing than I usually would have and, even put on mascara. Usually my hair was left alone without including the mousse I put in it after my shower. Though, on this day, I played with it, trying to make it lay perfectly around my face.

I walked into school scared. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to confront Jared about what I heard. Maybe it was all gossip and it wasn't even worth bringing up. But, how would I know if I didn't ask him? What if he took it the wrong way? Would he be offended if I started asking him all these questions? Would be embrace it? Would he confirm it? I shivered and made my way to Jenny. I didn't want to think about the possibility that Jared might not be the guy he's been showing me.

I'd called Jenny after coming home from the non-date on Friday and told her all about what had happened. It took her a few minutes on the phone with me gushing about how nice and sweet and wonderful Jared had been before she started giggling with me. She flipped out when I told her he kissed me on the cheek. She got really quiet, silent enough to make me think she hung up. She told me she was happy about it, but I don't think she was as psyched as I was.

"Hey Jenny," I said quietly, sitting next to her. I wrapped my fleece jacket around me tighter, feeling very cold an empty inside.

"Hey Kim!" she said. She had a weak smile on her face, like she was forcing it. "Have you heard from Jared?"

I shook my head, pulled my knees up to my chest. I hugged them and rested my head. I was starting to get a headache.

She frowned, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Oh, well that's…"

"Yeah," I said. I gulped, watching Jared the corner and walk toward us. He smiled when he saw us. I tried not to let the butterflies get too excited. I didn't even try and smile.

"Hey ladies," he said smoothly in his husky voice. He sat next to me, bumping my shoulder. His expression was shady, his eyes boring into me for an explanation for why I was suddenly so cold. Something flickered behind his eyes, self-doubt or self-loathing, but it was gone before I could even wonder why it was there in the first place.

"Hey Jared," I said hiding my face in my knees. It was making me sick to look at him. The questions were burning my brain, begging to be asked. I turned to Jenny after a moment, my mind made up. "Jenny, can I talk to Jared alone for a minute?"  
Jenny looked confused at me, but nodded and left without another word. She glanced back at me halfway down the hallway, asking with her eyes if I was OK. I looked away before I started to cry.

"What's up, Kim?" Jared asked quietly. He shifted closer to me, his side pressed against mine. My breathing became slightly erratic.

"My mom said she doesn't want me seeing you anymore," I whispered. It came out quickly, all in one breath. "Why is that?"

Jared stiffened. "Did you ask her?"

I shook my head. "No, but I heard her say you were – you were in a…"  
I couldn't say it. To say it out in the open would be making it a possibility and I couldn't. What would I do if he was?

"A what?" he said coldly. His voice was sharp and it made me wince. I had a feeling he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"She's into the rumors and gossip Jared," I told him. "She believes it all, too. Even my dad was a little weary about the whole thing."

"She thinks I'm in a gang and making trouble," he stated monotonously. I glanced at him. He was rubbing his eyes tiredly, like he hadn't slept well in awhile.

"That's not true?"

Jared turned to me, holding me with his eyes. There was something behind them that made me want to look away – it was too powerful, too raw of an emotion that I couldn't take it. He let me go after a moment and I took a deep breath, trying to clear my head. He said to his hands, "No, it's not true."

"You're not in a gang?" I said, my voice betraying my relief.

"It's not a gang, but a group," Jared said slowly. He gazed at me, but I was careful not to look him in the eye again. "We're not making trouble, but helping people."  
I frowned. "How?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Kim, I'm going to tell you – someday. Just, right now isn't a good time. You're not ready to know yet."

My heart thudded in my chest. "But, you said – "  
"I'm not breaking the law or making trouble or anything like that, Kim," Jared said taking my hand. "I promise."  
"And – and you'll tell me?" I stuttered, taking another deep breath. His hand felt nice on my skin. It was soothing with the heat and I felt my pulse start to calm.

"Of course. Just, not now."  
I nodded, leaning back on the lockers. I let my legs extend out in front of me. "I trust you," I said in a small voice. A pressure was lifted from my chest at these words and I felt the relief flow through my bones.

Jared didn't answer, but brought my hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it. My eyes widened, but I didn't say anything either.

- - -

After school, Jared asked if I wanted a ride home. I almost refused, but the rain beating down on the roof of the school, like a band of drums, made me reconsider.

"Could you take me to Jenny's instead of my house?" I asked while sprinting to Jared's old beat up black truck in attempt to avoid the wetness. We both quickly jumped in and sighed. Jared shook his hair like a dog, before turning up the heat. I shivered, holding my hands by the warm radiating out of the vents.

"You want my sweat shirt?" Jared asked quietly. He held the neck of his crew-neck sweat shirt readying to pull it off the moment I said I wanted it. But, I figured he needed it more than I. I already had a sweater and my Northface on over it.

"No, it's OK. I'm warming up," I said, smiling at him in thanks. I stuffed my numb fingers in my pockets, hunching over.

He shrugged before turning the car key and starting the engine. He glanced at me hesitantly, before asking, "Why Jenny's?"  
I didn't answer right away, but drew pictures in the fogged windows. There was a sunflower and daisies – my way of bringing spring closer to us. I also wrote: Wash Me.

"That's not very funny," Jared said chuckling. He backed out the parking spot and slowly inched to the exit – flowing with the line of trucks and cars wanting to leave.

I didn't answer, but smiled cheekily at him.

We were quiet while Jared drove carefully down the wet streets. There were a few students walking home from school and I felt bad for them. Some were soaked through and weren't even bothering with their hoods or umbrellas.

"Jenny and I aren't…" I paused. I didn't know what we were. Things felt broken between us and I had an urge to fix it and patch it up to make it the way it was again. Though, I wasn't sure how to. "We're not right at the moment."  
"What does that mean?" Jared asked. The window wipers squeaked as they passed the window each time.

"I'm not really sure," I admitted. "But, I just know that she needs me – no. No, we both need each other and I haven't been there like I should have."  
Jared frowned and watched me during the red light. "Do you have to be there all the time?"

I wrinkled my brow in thought. "Yeah, well we're friends – best friends."  
"What if your life gets in the way and you can't – you can't be there to just be with her all the time? What then?"  
"Turn here," I muttered, avoiding the question. I didn't know how to answer the question. Jenny had become clingy lately, but that was only because of her parents… right?

"Have you ever thought that Jenny's just a little too… depend on you and that if you're not with her 24/7 that she's – "

"Jenny's going through a hard time right now. She needs me," I said testily. I crossed my arms and looked out the window. I could feel Jared's gaze on me. "She's the blue house at the end of the street."

We were quiet the rest of the drive. It wasn't until we were pulling into Jenny's mom's house that Jared spoke. "I'm sorry Kim. I shouldn't have said anything."  
I didn't get out right away, but looked up at Jared. He was watching me with no expression, but his eyes were telling a different story. I saw the worry swirling in his eyes, making my stomach somersault.

I leaned over and patted his hand. "No, you should have. You helped me figure out what I have to talk to Jenny about."

I slipped out of the truck before he could answer and ran up to Jenny's front porch, knocking four times before turning and waving at Jared. Because of the rain, I couldn't tell if he waved back, but I like to think he did and I didn't wave like a loser to nothing.

"Hello Kim," Jenny's mom greeted when she answered the door. "Jenny's upstairs in her room."

"Thanks Linda," I said, slipping off my rain boots. I'd always found it odd that Jenny's mom always wanted me to call her Linda instead of being polite and calling her Mrs. Nova. My mom had taught me to call anyone older than I, Mr. and Mrs., so it always felt wrong on my tongue to call her by her first name.

I ran up the stairs and to the door that had Quileute names and other things Quileute pasted on the dark door. Jenny had always been obsessed with our culture and was keen on learning about every detail, event, person that was important or had been important to our culture. She was devoted to making herself fluent in the language of our people and insisted that I should join her in her studies. Although, I found out that languages weren't my thing. I failed Spanish fantastically – leaving with less that 15% on my report card.

"Jenny," I said while knocking gently on her door. I heard shuffling before Jenny, in sweats and her hair wrapped in a towel, answered the door.

"Oh, hi Kim," she said turning back to her homework spread out on her floor. She pulled the towel off her head and her wet, stringy hair fell about her round face.

I sat across from her, leaning back on her closet door. We didn't say anything, but just were. There was a quiet hum of the radio in the background and the pitter-patter of the rain hitting the roof.

"We need to talk, Jenny," I said quietly after awhile. My stomach gurgled nervously and I had to remember to take deep breaths before I chickened out.

She didn't look up, but paused in her writing, waiting for me to start.

"I know you're upset about something and I want to know what it is. Don't tell me it's Jared because – "

"It_ is_ him though."

I stopped, holding my breath. I wanted to yell at her, shake her and say 'no it's not him, it's me'.

"It's you and him," Jenny clarified, looking up at me. There were tears in her eyes. "You're always together and – and it's like you don't have time for me anymore!"  
I frowned. "Jenny, I'm always with you, not – "  
"Jared's changing you!" She yelled. Her hands went into the air and she shook her head. "He's making you different. You're not… you're not my Kim anymore. You're _his."_  
"What does that mean?" I said. "I'm not – "

"You let him slide with everything! Like him being late and me – " She stopped, rubbing the arm Jared had grabbed weeks ago.

"He apologized," I said in a small voice. I still felt sick when I thought of the rage in Jared's voice and the paleness of Jenny's face. Guilt sometimes visited me, gnawing at my conscious. It had been my fault that my two favorite people fought. Over what, I still wasn't quite sure.

"Do you really think that's good enough?"

I frowned. "What would you have him do then, Jenny?"

She shook her head, closing her eye tightly. "I don't know! He's just making you different."

"I'm just me!" I exclaimed. I threw my hands in the air. "What do you want from me? I haven't gone anywhere or changed into anything. I'm still you're best friend who likes eating ice cream on the pier and watching old, black and white movies with you and the one you call when you're parents are fighting and the one that makes you laugh with my not funny, dry humor!"  
"But, you're not," Jenny argued in a quiet voice. Her shoulders were slouched and her face was droopy. She was defeated. She had lost the battle she insisted that she and Jared fought. I didn't understand. "Even when you're with me, you're still not quite with me. It's like you don't entirely leave Jared. It's changed you."

"Tell me how I've changed, Jenny," I said patiently. I was willing to work this out and I'd do anything to have it back the way it was.

"You're not nervous anymore," she said. Her eyes went blank and she stared at the wall, like she was in deep thought. "You're not blushing as much as you used too and you – you talk!"  
I frowned. "I've always talked.

She shook her head. "No, you talk a lot now. It's like Jared sucks it out of you and you're not afraid to say what's on your mind."

I didn't say anything. I didn't understand. I didn't feel any different. I didn't feel like I'd changed. I didn't understand what she was talking about.

"You seem more… light," Jenny said, scrunching her face in search for the right word.

"Happy?" I said bitterly. I wasn't about to argue that I didn't feel more cheerful and was looking forward to the days with a sense of moving forward in life instead of what I had been feeling – stuck in a ditch that was moving sideways. "Are you mad because I'm happy?"  
"Yeah," Jenny said. Her voice became hard. "I'm mad because you're happy without me, Kim."

"You're always with me Jenny," I said, standing. "I came over here because whenever I'm with you, you're sad and depressed. I wanted to know what was wrong. But, if it's because – "

I didn't know what else to say. Jenny and I didn't feel on the same plane. She seemed to be keeping something from me – holding back what she really thought. Was she a friend of mine anymore? Would a friend be sad that her friend was happy – even if it was without her? It wasn't fair that Jenny kept telling me I was pushing her away when I was the one trying to keep hold of her.

"I want things the way they were," Jenny said quietly. She watched her hands tangle with each other.

"How were they Jenny?" I asked, sitting back down. I was curious. How did she think life was before things started changing?

"I want it to be just you and me," she said, avoiding my eye. "You're always talking about Jared and Jared did this and Jared did that…"

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely. "I don't mean to. Everything just so exciting with him and so new – "  
"Exactly," she said, looking up at me. "Everything was boring and stupid with me, but with him – with him you're living."  
My heart sank in my chest. I understood now. "I'm sorry Jenny."

"It's like you don't even need me anymore!" she said, spitting it out like she'd been holding it in.

"I do need you," I argued in a small voice.  
"For what?" she gasped, spreading her arms wide. She heaved a dry chuckle. "What do you need me for when you have _Jared?"_

"I need someone to talk to about Jared," I said. "He's new like I said. I need someone steady and someone who knows me. I need someone to talk to and be best friends with. He can't replace you."

"What happens when he becomes familiar?"

I sighed. "Jenny, things were going to change sometime! They weren't just going to stay the way they were after high school or, even, after the summer! Everything's always changing. We can't be – "

I stopped. My words echoed back at me – 'we can't be _afraid of change'._

"Kim?" Jenny asked. She looked at me concerned. "You OK? You're kind of green."

'_We can't be afraid of change'_. I felt sick to my stomach. When I had I become brave? When had I stopped fearing the unknown? I shook my head, rubbing my eyes.

"Kim?" Jenny asked hesitantly. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah," I said waving her away. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"I'm sorry," she said after a moment. "I'm sorry. I should be happy that Jared and you are friends, but I'm afraid that you'll…"  
"I'll what?"

Jenny wrung her hands. A tear rolled down her face. "I don't have anyone except you Kim. My parents are too wrapped up in their problems to care about mine and I don't think they should have to deal with – "

"I'm never going to leave you, Jenny," I said pulling her into a hug. "You're my best friend. I can't live without you."

"Thanks Kim," Jenny said after I let go of her. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and smiled watery at me.

* * *

**author's note:** _It's come to my attention that Jared and Kim's first "date" was a lot like Edward and Bella's. I just want to say that that was not my intention at all. Actually, I was trying to stay away from that and now that's it's been pointed out to me, I've notice it to. I really hate the chapter now actually, but it has to much important info and it's the forth draft of that chapter, so I won't be rewriting it. I just wanted to say I'm sorry and that I did not, in any way, try and copy _Twilight_. Thanks to those who told me though. I'm glad you said something. (:_

_I have a comment about the Quileute language part in this chapter. I was surfing Stephenie Meyer's website because I was procrastinating so I wouldn't have to do my homework, and came across the La Push Reservation website. I've been to La Push, so I knew the basics of their culture, but learning about it even deeper was really cool. I saw Jenny in it too. Her being obsessed with History fit her character in a way I can't explain. So, I hoped you enjoyed that. _

_Oh, and her last name Nova, means chasing butterflies. It's not Quileute because I couldn't find any of the Quileute language on the web – which I already knew because of trying to find names of the werewolves in Honey and the Moon. So, I thought I'd just let you know. _

_And the Northface jackets – I don't know if that's just a Seattle thing, but everyone has a fleece here and when it's raining, everyone is wearing it. lol. Myself included. (:_

_Anyway, how did you like this chapter? Tell me everything in a_**REVIEW!!**

_I haven't been thanking you guys for all the wonderful reviews and I have been feeling guilty about that. They truly make my day – you don't even know. _

_Please, I want reviews so bad!! They really make me crank out chapters faster and update sooner…_

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_

_Btw- __**OBAMA WON! **__Did anyone watch election night?_

_It's so exciting. Lol. He won!! :D_

* * *

Maniacinthemaking:

You didn't give me anything to reply back! Lol. You ask me all these wonderful questions and I can't answer them!

You… actually, got most of it right… but I'm not going to say which parts or it'll just ruin it. How'd you know, btw? Am I that predictable?

You'll find out all about Paul in later chapters. I haven't decided which one yet since I have some other things planned, but I promise its coming.

Yay! I've turned you into a wolf girl. Lol. That's the best compliment. I'm really glad you like it. It makes me smile when you say such nice things. (:

As for spelling… I'm not a good speller/grammar so I'm really, really sorry for the mistakes. I read over the chapters at least ten times before posting and somehow things slip by. I think it's because I correct it in my head (or when I read it out loud) and just go along with it. And, when you ask if I could have someone read it over, this story is kind of my thing. The reason I'm writing it is more for me to work on my weakness (like spelling) without help. It's kind of my way at making myself better. Does that make sense?

Anyway, thanks for the review! Your comments are greatly appreciated.


	14. Chapter Thirteen: HeebieJeebies

_Playlist: I'm not a big country fan, but something about Taylor Swift doesn't feel like country. I'm not usually a big fan of hers either, but her new album is pretty good. Also, when my best friend hands me a copy of the album and demands that I listen to it, I guess I have to like it, right? (:_

Chapter Thirteen – Heebie-Jeebies:

_vitalize – (verb) give somebody or something life _

By Thursday night, Anna and I were on the couch watching _Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants_ on _ABC Family_, wishing that it was Friday night.

"How's it going with Jared?" she asked during a commercial. Her dark eyebrow rose slightly higher than the other when she regarded me with a specious look. She twirled the remote in her left hand.

"We're still friends," I said. "It's nice to talk to him. He has a different approach to things than Jenny."

Anna nodded her head. "Guys tend to talk and regard things without strings attached unlike we do. We're always over thinking things and worried about what stuff we say will mean something else to the other person and blah blah blah," Anna waved her hand. She smiled knowingly. "It's refreshing to talk to a guy, isn't it?"

She was right, of course. Talking to Jared was refreshing. He didn't seem to worry about stating the truth or hurting my feelings. He was very blunt and to the point unlike Jenny or me who made sure we didn't take anything wrong or say something the other wouldn't agree with.

Plus, Jared was just always there ready to listen and fix whatever I was stressing over or bothering me. He seemed to know what I was thinking – like a sixth sense. If I was keeping something from him on purpose because it was embarrassing or I just didn't want to burden him with the problem, he knew. He wouldn't give up until I told him and, then my problem seemed to smooth out and it didn't seem like such a big deal. _Why was I stressing again?_

"So, nothing happened on your date?" she asked, wriggling her eyebrows.

I sighed. "No Anna. It wasn't even a date."

"But he kissed you."  
"On the cheek," I pointed out. "It was more like a friendly kiss."

She snorted. "Friends don't kiss each other. It brings up unwanted questions and makes everything awkward."  
I frowned, thinking about the last couple days. "No it doesn't."

"That's because," she said, "he's trying really hard to make it not awkward."

"I don't know what you mean," I muttered, scratching my head. Jared and I had been more comfortable around each other – not weird.

"He doesn't want to push you into something you're not ready for or wanting," she said flipping the channel a couple times before going back to _ABC Family._

I frowned, pondering what she said. "How do I make things…?"

"Kiss him," she said bluntly. My eyes went wide and I choked on my own spit. "What? It's not like he'll push you away."  
"How – how do you kn – know?" I stuttered, blushing.

She glanced at me, a twinkle in her eye. "It's obvious."

"What's obvious?"

Anna sighed, rolling her eyes. "Figure it out, Kim. It's not that hard to pay attention."

I didn't understand what she was talking about. There wasn't anything to Jared that I wasn't seeing. I was probably the only one really paying so much attention to him anyway. Like, he had a ham and cheese sandwich yesterday for lunch and there was a little bruise on his cheek that faded by the end of the day. His eyes were especially dark and his voice sounded like he had been yelling all night. He seemed very distracted the last couple of days and stressed. His hand ran through his hair more than it normally did.

Or, was I paying too much attention that I blew past the obvious? But, what would that be? I didn't push Anna to explain. I knew she wouldn't tell me.

My mom came in a while later; all dressed in her nurse uniform and had her hair pulled severely up into her bun.

"Kimberly," my mom addressed me. She was buttoning her coat up and glancing at the clock. "Remember tomorrow is your driver's test."  
I head spun from the sudden information and I was horrified. "What!?"

"To get your license, honey. I signed you up for tomorrow after school. Your father said he'd take you down to the DOL's office."

I didn't know what to say. Half of me wanted to scream. What made her think I was ready to drive by myself?

Then again, I could drive by myself! Anywhere I wanted. _The freedom…_

Though, I didn't go anywhere much anyway. Why did I need my license?  
"Can't – can't we wait or something?" I asked getting up from the couch. I followed my mom into the kitchen and hovered while she poured herself coffee in a red mug.

"You're sixteen now and it would be nice if you could drive yourself around town or to Jenny's," my mom answered, facing me. She had a hand on her hip.

I didn't feel confident in my abilities. Usually when my parents drove me anywhere and I asked to drive, they would shoot the suggestion down. I think they were scared that I'd hit another mail box like I did when I got my permit. "What makes you think I'm ready for this? You won't even let me drive with my permit!"

"Kimberly, you're taking the test and that's final!"

I watched her walk away. The pit in my stomach grew with every step.

- - -

"You can always re-take the test if you fail it," Jenny said, trying to cheer me up. We were sitting under her locker as usual watching the students pass by. I picked at the ugly blue carpet and pouted.

"I know that! But, it'll just be embarrassing when I get told FAIL and sent home without a license. You don't think my mom is expecting this do you?"

Jenny shook her head. "I think she thinks that you're ready. You probably are. You just have the nervous heebie-jeebies."

I held my head in my hands and groaned. "Why can't this all just go away?"  
"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

I jumped at the sound of Jared's voice. He was standing over me in dark, faded jeans and a green flannel shirt that just made his eyes even more tantalizing in their darkness. I hadn't heard him approach. It was odd how quiet he was for being so huge.

He sat down next to me, side touching and a hand on my knee, watching me with a critical gaze.

"My life's ending," I told him, leaning back on the lockers. I closed my eyes.

"What happened?" he didn't sound worried like I'd thought. Maybe he knew I was being melodramatic.

"She's taking her driver's test today and she's all worried that she'll fail," Jenny told him for me. I could hear the rolling of her eyes in her voice. She thought I was being stupid.

"That's not so bad," Jared said squeezing my knee. I tried not to hyperventilate. "The test is easy."  
"You don't know what a horrible driver I am," I argued. "I could kill someone."  
Jared chuckled. "I'm sure that won't happen."

- - -

He was right of course. I hadn't killed anyone. Although, passing was definitely unexpected when I was swerving on the streets, blew past a stop sign, and almost didn't stop in time for someone crossing the street. The short, bald, pudgy, mustache driver examiner thought I passed with flying colors, telling me that 'the stop sign was hidden anyway' and 'that woman should have looked both ways before crossing the street.' Despite his reassurances I didn't feel confident about having my license and being legal on the streets of town. Plus, if I made mistakes, there wasn't anyone to correct me so I wouldn't do it again – or kill someone.

Actually, I was scared that people like Terry Kelmings (my driver examiner) were putting people on the streets, like me. I'd fear for my life now as I walked down the sidewalk.

"Did you pass?" Jenny asked over the phone later that night.

"Unfortunately," I muttered, flopping back on my bed. I groaned at my picture on the license. I hadn't expected to pass, so I hadn't fixed my hair that was flying everywhere or my smudged make-up that made me look like I had a black eye.

"Why is this a bad thing? You can drive now!"

"Exactly," I said, sighing.

I wanted to be fifteen again. The world was much simpler then. And safer.

- - -

On Sunday morning, I got a call that my phone ID didn't recognize.

"It's Jared. You're number was in the phone book."

I took a deep breath, blushing to the empty room. "Oh. Why are you calling?"

"I heard you can drive now," he said teasingly. "Care to show me your skills?"  
"Huh?" I asked, breathlessly. My mind was a little hazy from the unexpectedness of his voice. It was chilling to get the whole intensity of the sound without an arm or leg to distract me.

"Can I pick you up in ten? We can drive around and just hang out. You game?"

A day with Jared. How could I refuse?

Ten minutes later, I was sitting on the curb in front of my house after telling my parents that I was going to go driving around with my new licenses. They let me go without a second thought. It wasn't lying, but I still felt guilty about not telling them the whole truth.

A big, black truck, mud splattered on the bottom of it, pulled up a few minutes later. Jared hopped out and I stood smiling at him.

He held out his hand, grinning at me. "Let's see the license."

I fingered the square piece of plastic in my pocket, muttering, "It's not a very good picture."

He shook his head, "No, come on!"

I handed it to him reluctantly. I watched his expression, nervous about what he'd think.

"You're gorgeous," he said handing it back. "I don't get why you don't see that."

I blushed, watching my feet. The warmth of his compliment made me glow and I had to remember to breathe. I tried to keep the happy smile off my face.

"So," Jared said, causing me to look up. He dug his keys out of his pocket and tossed them to me. "You drive."

The keys flew right past me into the lawn, partly because I didn't have any hand-eye coordination and partly because I was scared stiff that I was about to make a fool out of myself in front of Jared or kill someone innocent walking along the road.

I could tell Jared was trying not to laugh. "I'll get those for you."

He tried to hand the keys to me, but I jammed my hands into my pockets of my sweatshirt and shook my head. "Really Jared, I'm a horrible driver."

"The only way you're going to get better is by practicing," He said, holding the keys in my face. "Consider this practice."

I grudgingly took the keys and walked over to the driver's side. Jared was already in the passenger seat, buckled in, when I opened the door.

I started up the big truck and put it in drive, but paused. I turned to Jared, pleading with my eyes. "Really Jared, I can't do this."  
"You'll do fine, Kim," he said gently. "I'll be sure to stop you if you're about to violate the law in anyway, OK?"

I sighed, nodding. I kept repeating to myself as I drove down the street, _day with Jared, day with Jared_. I hoped sheer will power would make me a better driver.

At 2:30 in the afternoon, we were at Port Angles and I could hear Jared's stomach growling.

"Sorry," he muttered, rubbing his stomach. He smiled sheepishly at me. "I'm a little hungry."  
"We can stop for lunch," I offered, already picking out a McDonald's.

Jared nodded, his stomach growling again.

Jared had to park the big truck. Every time I tried, I was a hair's length away from scratching, bumping, or massacring something in the process.

"You're a great driver, Kim," Jared said coming towards me. He let his keys slide down into his jean's pocket and ran a hand through his hair. "Whoever told you, you were horrible was lying."

I smiled, blushing at the praise. "Thanks Jared."

He shrugged, looking at up at the menu. "It's just true."

I got chicken nuggets and French fries with a coke and Jared got three double whoppers, two large fries, and a super sized coke.

I don't know where he put it all. All that was left was empty ketchup packets and ice in the bottom of his drink. I didn't even finish all my chicken nuggets.

"You're a bottomless pit," I observed, watching him wipe his mouth with a napkin.

He grinned, leaning back in the hard plastic chair. "I was hungry."  
"Obviously," I said, laughing.

"What should we do now?" Jared asked after a minute. He was watching a few kids chase each other on the play system.

I shrugged, sipping my coke.

"Want to go to the beach?"

I frowned. "But, it looks like it's going to rain."

"So?"

I struggled for an answer. Jared didn't care. Why did I? "Well…"  
Jared leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. He watched me patiently for an answer.

"Only if you drive."

- - -

"I like coming here when no one else is around," Jared said. We were at the beach, about a mile from town, walking on the rocky shore. The wind was blowing steadily and had made me cold, so Jared had given me his crewneck, sweatshirt he'd been wearing. It was like a space heater when I put it on. The chill in my bones instantly went away and I enveloped in the warmth and smell of Jared.

"Don't you think it's kind of creepy having no one around?" I looked down the beach just to see a vast expansion of gray beach, gray water, and hint of dull green from where the grass started and the thick layer of seaweed washed up from the depths of the ocean. There wasn't a single soul in any direction and even the houses lining the beach, creeping out of the shadows of the dense forest, seemed dark and empty.

"Nah," Jared said shaking his head. "It helps me think when no one's around."  
I bumped his elbow playfully. "What's it that you need to think about?"

He smiled, but didn't answer. I didn't push the subject.

"So, you and Jenny have everything cleared up?"

I nodded. There didn't seem to be a difference in me and Jenny's relationship, but by the smallest of details I could feel the difference with a look or a word said. It was nice having my best friend back and with me, not against me and pushing with every corner. "I actually hung out with her yesterday."

"What did you guys do?"

"I painted and Jenny provided the conversation."  
Jared stopped walking and turned to me, grinning. "Painted?"

I nodded, blushing.

"What did you paint?" Jared asked. I could feel him watching me.

"Jenny while she was lounging with her head hanging off the couch. It was funny looking, so I painted her. I didn't finish it though, because all the blood rushing to her head was making her dizzy after awhile."

"When can I see your paintings?"  
I hesitated, brushing some of my hair out of my face. "Whenever you want, I guess."  
Jared didn't answer, but took my hand and starting walking again. I was confused, but registered there was some unspoken connection or exchange happening. I didn't dwell on it too long. The warmth of Jared's hand a little overwelming and I could feel it down to the tips of my toes. It was strong and secure, holding my little hand gently. I knew he wouldn't let go if I asked him not to.

It was another hour before we made it back to the car, but I didn't mind. We talked about random things and told stories to each other. It was easy and I no longer felt like I was being stupid if I asked him a question or told him what I was thinking or had a different opinion on something. I knew he wouldn't hate me for it.

Jared dropped me off about 45 minutes before six. He didn't kiss me, but he did squeeze my hand before I got out and gave me a smile that showed his dimple in his left cheek. I smiled and my stomach butterflies bruised my insides because it was just as good as a kiss.

* * *

**author's note:** _My dear readers, you either didn't get a chance to read the last chapter or you hated it enough not to review. What's up? I want to know what you think of this story! The reviews give me a perspective of where I'm going with story and when you don't review, I assume the worst! Please, please_, **please ****REVIEW****!!! **_They mean more to me that you could ever imagine and brighten my day so much that I smile uncontrollably for hours. _

_I just wanted to let you know that every chapter I write is important to the story. I do not right filler chapters because I don't see the point of having a chapter that doesn't do anything for the story. So, pay attention to all the small details and hints I give because they will come up in later chapters. Did anyone notice something about this chapter? I hope you did. (:_

_Thank you for all the people that did review last chapter. You're the only reason I'm updating at this point because you inspire me to continue. I'm not lying when I say reviews make my fingers type faster. _

_So, __REVIEW!!__ Please, I beg you! – The waiting time will be longer if I don't get reviews!  
Thanks, Little Black Dresses_

_Btw – I have a poll going about the movie. Please check it out! Q: Do you think the Twilight Movie will be any good? _

_Who has their tickets? I do. :D_

_P.S. I'm shouting this from the roof tops because my parents buying me a NEW CAR (a red Mini Cooper) is completely out of character for them and I'm just too excited to think about anything else!! Besides, when my old car was falling apart around me, it's nice to have a car that has a radio, heater, and gas gauge that actually works. _

_I need a name for her though. Suggestions are very welcome!! (:_


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Eye Candy

**IMPORTANT NOTE: **_I'm not quite sure when all this is happened – Jared and Kim getting together. At least when I looked, there wasn't anything that said what month or what time of the month. Besides, I really don't want to try and find a sentence out of thousands. So, I'm going to wing it – unless you really know. Then, please tell me. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks and enjoy the chapter. _

_Playlist:_The Killers' Album (Day & Age) and Coldplay's EP

Chapter Fourteen – Eye Candy:

_hot – (adj.) very warm, very spicy, dangerous, intense, promising, exciting, knowledgeable, live_

I was nervous about taking the car the next day. For one, it was foggy and moist outside from the rain we had the day before and I really didn't want to risk it when I barley had enough skills when it was sunny and dry as a bone. A visual impairment was just asking for me to kill someone walking along the road.

"Take the car, Kimberley," my mom said when I told her I wouldn't be needing her car.

"But, mom – "

"Kimberly, I won't tell you again," she called from down the hall. I heard the snap of her bedroom door and I sighed. Why was she so desperate for me to drive?

I sat twenty minutes in the car, not moving, not even out of the driveway, before I chickened out and ran to the bus stop, arriving just as it was pulling away. I argued with myself whether or not to run home and just drive, but then a familiar big, black truck pulled up on the side of the road. The tinted window rolled down and an annoyed Jared leaned out the window.

"Where's your car, Kim?" he asked. I knew he knew. I knew he knew I knew he knew. He knew I chickened out. He knew I still didn't think I was a good driver.

I shrugged, watching my shoes. He didn't like it when I never had enough confidence in myself.

"Get in," he sighed, clicking the locks open.

I jumped into the passenger seat, grinning. "Thanks Jared. I really appreciate it."

"Just promise me you'll drive tomorrow," he said, giving me a sideways look.

"Well – "  
"Kim," he said firmly. Despite his somber tone, there was a twinkle in his eye and a smirk at his lips. "It's April Fool's today, so unless you want to be pranked, you'll promise me."

"Yes, I promise," I muttered, thinking about the horrible prank Paul pulled on him last year. My stomach rolled just at the thought.

"I don't know why you think you can't do it."

I didn't say anything, but cowardly ducked my head. I peeked up at him, though he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were trained on the road. His knuckled were white from gripping the steeling wheel. He was aggravated.

"You're better than that, Kim," he said quietly. He turned his head away, so I couldn't see his face. My heart sunk. He was disappointed in me.

I sniffed, crossing my arms, "You're the only one that seems to think that."  
"I doubt that," Jared growled. His eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched.

I exhaled, running a hand through my hair. "My mom thinks I'm hopeless. I don't have a social life or a boyfriend. I'm not into sports or cheerleading or anything that I should be doing. Not many know I exist and she's mad that I'm bringing down the family's perfect image."  
"How do you know?"

I watched him take in the facts. He looked furious and it was hearting that someone cared enough to get angry about this. It was just the cherry on top it was Jared.

"When my dad was yelling at me for going to the movies with a boy he hadn't met, my mom was smiling and looking like she was going to jump for joy. She even said 'it's about time'." I shrugged. I'd been living with this for my whole life and while it made me sad sometimes, it was just the way things were.

Jared drove smoothly into a parking space before shifting around to me. I was expecting pity, like Jenny always gave me if I ever mentioned my life at home, but Jared looked like he wanted to kill someone.

"She has too much to be proud of," Jared said shaking his head. "Your mom must be blind to the obvious."  
"She wants me to be someone and right now, I'm not really anyone," I told him. I picked at the seat, keeping my eyes down.

"Yes you are," he argued. His jaw was clenched and his eyes flashing. His expression was fervent and the look in his eye made me catch my breath. "You're Kim."

He got out of the truck and I followed him, letting the comment sink in. I could feel the glow getting stronger until I was shining brightly and my smile was unstoppable.

Jared was proud of me. _Jared_ was _proud _of _me_. _Jared Thail_ _was proud of me._

I glowed from his comment the rest of the day. In third period, when he smiled at me, my stomach flopped to the floor and I smiled back, feeling lighter than air. I wasn't a disappointment to him. He didn't think I should be anyone except me. He didn't care, like he had said all those weeks ago, that I wasn't popular or interesting. He liked me because I _was_ me – just Kim.

"You need a ride home?" Jared asked, coming up besides me after school.

"Uh, yeah," I said. I glanced back over my shoulder to wave at Jenny who was already climbing in her mom's car.

"There's one condition," Jared said when I turned back to him. He was smirking, hands in his pockets and his gaze forward.

"What's that?" I asked, following him to the truck. I hugged my books close to my chest.

He chuckled, glancing at me. "I want to see your paintings."  
I stopped and gulped, my eyes widening. "Now?"

"I'm curious," he said simply. He took out his keys and jingled them at me, "That's my condition for your ride home."

"My – my mom's home," I stuttered, glancing around. "She doesn't like you, remember?"

He frowned, running a hand threw his hair. "When is she not home?"

I shuffled my feet before giving in. "She works the night-shift at the hospital as a nurse," I sighed.

Jared brightened and his smirk fell back into place. "When does she leave?"

I was nervous about this. I wasn't even that good and sometimes I drew random things, like words or phrases I'd liked. There were also _many_ doodles revolving around my infatuation. It was almost like him reading his name connected to mine, which was one of my nightmares.

But, his eyes so light and excited, I couldn't tell him that. He was proud of me, after all.

"Four," I said reluctantly.

"Do you have to go straight home?"

I peeked up at him and smiled, "Why?"

He shrugged nonchalantly and walked languished the rest of the way to his truck. "You want some ice cream?"

"You're lactose intolerant," I said, frowning.

"So?" he glanced at me, raising an eye brow. "You're not, right?"

I got strawberry swirl and Jared got a coffee at an old café about three blocks from the school. He drove us to the beach parking lot where we waited for my mom to leave. It was nice being one on one with him. I got to talk to him about anything I wanted without the distraction of Paul seething behind me or the teacher yelling at me or Jenny shifting uncomfortably next to me or the loud noise of the student body. I asked him all the questions I'd been thinking about when I should have been sleeping.

"Jared?" I asked after a moment of silence. I tossed my cone out the window, uneaten. "How's your mom doing?"

He hesitated, running a hand through his hair slowly. "She's fine."  
"Are you OK?" I muttered. I remember his dad had died a year ago while working as a fisherman. Jared missed a week of school and had showed up on Monday morning like nothing had happened.

He didn't say anything at first and I thought he wasn't going to answer. But, he sighed, clearing his throat. "Yeah, I'm doing OK."

I wanted to hug him. His shoulders her slumped forward slightly and a look of defeat was on his face. He was tired and the droop of his eyes showed he could have fallen over.

"Do you sleep?" I asked suddenly.

He looked up surprised, but shook his head. "There are things on my mind and… stuff I have to do."  
"Are you worried about something?" I asked. "Usually when I can't sleep, I'm nervous about something."  
He hesitated, before tilting his head slightly. "I guess you could say that."

"Can I help with anything?"

He smiled, but shook his head. "Not really, but thanks anyway."

I nodded, before thinking of another question. I grinned cheekily at him. "So, why are you scared of planes?"

"Bad experience," he muttered, pinking around his ears.

I smirked at him, asking, "What?"

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just… when I went to visit my grandma in Arizona when I was nine, I got lost in the airport and then the plane almost crashed and I spilled my yogurt all over my pants, so I smelled like sour milk for the entire flight."

I tried not to laugh. "That sounds traumatic."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "It was."

"Do you still visit your grandma?"

He frowned, glancing at me. "She died a few years back."  
"I'm sorry," I mumbled, looking out the window.

"It's OK. It was only that time and her funeral that I ever really saw her. Plus, she was sick for years before she passed away," Jared said. He lounged back in his seat and rested an elbow on the sill of the truck window. "Do you have grandparents?"  
"I have a grandma," I said smiling. "She lives in Montana and is thriving at 75 years old. She still works as an account and is slightly insane."

Jared laughed. "Does she come around here often?"

I shook my head. "No, but I wish. She's like my favorite person in the whole world!"

"Why?" he asked, leaning closer to me. He looked genuinely curious.

"Uh," I shrugged, blushing. I looked away from his fervid gaze. "She just… she's easy to talk to and she always listens and gives the best advice."

Jared watched me a minute longer before leaning back, nodding to himself. He muttered, "She's sounds awesome."

I grinned, thinking about her white hair and huge grandma glasses she refused to replace. "Yeah, she is."

We were quiet for a minute. I looked down at the beach and the sand pipers wandering in search of the crabs you could find under rocks and thick seaweed.

"What kind of music are you into?"

I giggled at the randomness. "Just because?"  
Jared smiled, shrugging. "Why not?"

"I like all sorts of music," I said, twirling a piece of my hair. "What about you?"

Jared leaned over and hit a button on the radio and hard rock, like Guns N' Roses, blared out of the speakers. It was loud and vibrated the frame of the truck. He turned it down after a moment and pulled out a few other CD's from the glove compartment. There was Metallic, Pink Floyd, The Shins, The Killers, and an old Jimmy Hendrix album that my dad always played when we went on road trips.

"I like a lot of jazz too, like Dave Brubeck and Oscar Peterson. But, those albums are back at my house," He said gutturally. He pushed his hair out of his eyes.

"Why don't you have any here?" I flipped slowly through his collection.

"I share this truck with Paul sometimes and he hates the stuff," Jared said. He snorted and rolled his eyes. "Almost as much as he hates classical music."

I handed the albums back to him. "Jazz?" I asked, raising at eye brow. I wouldn't have pinned him as someone who liked jazz.

Jared shrugged again. "I think I picked it up from my dad. He listened to a lot of jazz."

"That's really cool," I told him, leaning back in my seat. I glanced at the clock and noticed that my mom should have left my now.

"Time to go?" Jared asked quietly. A smile slowly seeped onto his face.

I nodded, my stomach bubbling with nervous again. I'd managed to distract myself with someone tall, dark, and handsome, but now they were back in full swing.

Before I knew it, we were in my drive way and Jared was hopping out eagerly. He was grinning as I walked slowly up my porch and unlocked my door.

"I'm really not all that – "

"No," he said cutting my off. "I don't want to hear that. Let me decide."

I sighed. "I just don't want you to be disappointed."  
He smiled, taking my hand. "I won't."

I led him down the hallway to the last door on the left. I had thoughts about my bras or underwear just lying about and I started to panic about the state of my room.

"Uh – " I said, halting right before the door. I stopped Jared with a hand pressed against his chest. "Can I just… clean up first?"

He shrugged and leaned on the wall with his arms crossed. I had to take a deep breath, so my knees would turn to jelly. I quickly ducked in my room, to hide my blush, and scanned the room.

There were only a few clothes scattered about and I felt better about him not walking in on anything. I did hide my notebook away with my secret wish of _Mrs. Jared Thail_ away under my bed. That was the last thing I needed him just browsing through.

"OK Jared," I called, quickly scanning the room again. "You can come in now."  
He stepped in causally, slowly scanning the room. I watched him smile and point to the left. "Who's that?"

He pointed to the picture I had of Hayden Christensen taped to my wall.

I blushed, clearing my throat. "It's just a picture."

Jared chuckled and flopped on my bed. "Your room's nice."

My cheeks heated up and I nodded, tucking one of my curls behind my ear.

He leaned back and placed his hands behind his head. There was a moment before he smirked and asked, "So, where are your pictures?"

"Oh, uh…" I jerked away from the peek of hard abs and a light trail of dark hair disappearing into the waistline of blue boxers peeking out of his jeans slung low on his lean hips. His arms behind his head had raised his dark gray sweat shirt. I blushed, flustered while opening my closet and picking up my art folder. It was about the size of a small table top and three inches thick, full of canvas, paper, and other materials I'd painted on, like cardboard.

Jared sat up and I frowned at his sweatshirt and t-shirt covering back up my little slice of heaven. He leaned close, enough to where I could smell his intoxicating woodsy essences, and watched me pull out random pictures I'd painted over the years. There was one of the docks, a storm, the beach, Jenny, a family picnic, a swing set, and many other things like a class room and –

"Not that one," I said sliding it back down quickly before Jared could see. I blushed while he smirked.

"Why?"

"It's bad," I said pulling out another one to satisfy him. I avoided his eye, trying to control my blush.

"I highly doubt that," he muttered, grinning at me. "If it's like any of these, you're pretty awesome, my love."

I smiled and reddened at the compliment. "Do you want to see the one I painted for the school?"  
He nodded and grinned at me, pleased about something.

I pulled out a framed picture from my closet, handed it to him. I shuffled my feet and waited for his comments. When he didn't say anything, I said, "It won, but it was just a stupid school award."

It was a picture of two girls standing by the bus stop, hands in their pockets, hunched against the rain.

"You and Jenny," Jared said quietly, tracing the outline of the one of the girls with his finger.

I shrugged, sitting next to him on the bed. "I guess. I just painted two random girls."

"This one's you," he said pointing to the one he'd be tracing. "Her hair's curly like yours."

I giggled. "OK then."

He winked at me and handed it back. "You're going to go into the arts, right? I really think you should."

"I don't know," I muttered. I frowned, thinking about my mom. "My parents want me to get a real job, like a teacher or something that pays."

"Art pays," Jared argued. His brow furrowed and he looked upset. "You just have to be good enough and your paintings are by far the best I've seen."

"Thank Jared," I muttered, smiling shyly at him.

"Don't let anyone tell you you're not good enough," he said fiercely in a low voice. "You're better than that."

I stood by the door and watched him drive away. Something in his words made me want to paint. It was empowering that he thought so highly of me. I felt like I could do anything, like I was invincible. He was proud of me and I felt worthy of his words and his compliments. I did deserve them and it was saddening to think that I'd wasted years thinking that I wasn't going to amount to anything.

* * *

**author's note**_**:**__ I had a boyfriend once that teased me about my eye candy I have all over my wall – I think he was just jealous. So, I thought Jared would be perfect to tease Kim about the men she likes to stare at during a daily bases – other than him of course. ;)_

_Paul's little… uh… thing with Kim is in the next chapter. I'm not going to flat out tell you what's up with him, so remember to pay attention to the small details. _

_Again, I told you this already, but I do NOT write filler chapters. You're missing something if you think a chapter has no point._

_**PLEASE REVIEW!**__  
Thanks, Little Black Dresses_

_Opinion about the Twilight Movie (I did see it at midnight for those who asked):__ I don't want to ruin it for anyone, so if you haven't seen it, __don't__ read this. _

_A Joke. Hilarious. Ridiculous. So bad it was good. Totally worth it, but cheesy as hell. I liked it because I was laughing the whole time, but I didn't like it because I was laughing the entire time. Robert Patinson just totally over worked it – his glare/growl/tortured look was __**very funny**__ – and _Jacob Black_ was the best part of the entire movie. No lie. _

_Everyone should see it. :D_

_- If you want to talk about it, don't hesitate to PM me. I'd love to tell you my other favorite parts. _

* * *

Trsgrl:

Oh, I thought I did make it clear why Kim's mom doesn't want Kim to see Jared. She believes all the gossip about him and doesn't want Kim running around with someone like that.

As you probably have noticed, Kim already showed her paintings to Jared. Don't worry about me not showing stuff in this. I promise that you'll see everything I mention – I do mention it for a reason. ;)

I'm really glad you're enjoying it so far.

Thanks for the review! Do you have an actual account? It would be nice to reply to you directly so you don't have to wait for the next chapter for answers to your questions.

* * *

_**HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!**_

**(**-**to those who live in the states. I'm pretty sure Europe or… anywhere else, doesn't celebrate our turkey holiday. Do you guys think we're crazy? We have a whole day devoted to eating. lol.) **


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Just Stories

**Note:**** I hate timelines, readers. They're annoying. So, since I started with Jared imprinting early in his werewolf career, I'm going to try and have it match New Moon and Eclipse. I'm so very sorry if it doesn't. I'm trying my best with Kim not knowing what's going on. **

_Playlist: The Killers – how I love them. (:_

Chapter Fifteen – Just Stories:

_heartache – (noun) emotional pain, bitterness, dolor, dejection _

Jared wasn't in school the next week. By Wednesday, I was starting to get worried. I asked everyone that I knew who talked to Jared, but no one knew where he was. So, I decided that I would call his house, using the number in the phone book. It took me about twenty minutes to get it off the top shelf in the closet, but I finally managed to pull it down without killing myself in the process. It took me another twenty minutes to read it correctly. Though, once I called the number I was almost sure was Jared's, the phone just rang endlessly. I called it a few more times, but no one answered.

My mind raced at night, making it impossible to find a comfortable spot on the bed no matter how many times I tossed and turned, and sleep was evitable. I wanted to call the number again, but something told me I wouldn't get an answer.

Friday night, I was looking forward to a night with my dad. Usually, since both of us were the ones that didn't have plans, we'd have dinner and watch a movie or talk about the week or the world news. It was nice having such a causal relationship with my dad. We didn't talk about personal stuff – that got too messy and my dad wasn't good at handling stuff like that – so, it was topics that got your mind off things. Friday couldn't have come at a better time.

I waited up for him, wondering if I'd missed the call that he had a meeting or some other function or outing he was going to. He came home late, just before I started to drift off. His footsteps were heavy and he dripped quietly on the floor from the rain. I got off my place on the couch and went to greet him, noticing he looked pale and weary. I hugged him around the middle, not able to wrap my arms all the way around him, smelling his scent of old leather, peppermint, and coffee.

"Where have you been?" I asked. My voice was muffled by his old leather jacket he refused to replace even though the leather was worn and gone in some places. "Dinner got cold a couple hours ago."  
He rubbed my back and ruffled my hair. "I just found out Harry Clearwater had a heart attack on Monday. His wife, Sue, is beside herself. I was over at their place with Charlie Swan, Billy Black, and a few other guys trying to help make things easier for her."

"Oh," I mumbled, pulling away. "I'm sorry, dad. I didn't know you were close to him."

He shrugged, slipping off his jacket and hanging it on the hook. "I wasn't, but his boy Seth is in my class this year. He's such a nice boy, but causes trouble every once in awhile, so I've had Harry come in a couple of times. Nice man, he was…"

I nodded and followed him into the kitchen. My curiosity got the better of me. Was it possible Jared had another reason for not showing up at school other than skipping or being sick? "Were there a lot of people there?"

"Oh yeah," he said sitting heavily in a kitchen chair. "Neighbors, family, and Sam Uley and his gang of boys were all there. They didn't say much, but hung around Seth all night. It was almost like they were waiting for something."

"Was Jared Thail there?" I asked hesitantly. I hadn't wanted to ask, my dad was sure to ask questions. My stomach was knots and the tears threatened to fall, so slipped it out before I could stop it.

"Yeah, he was there – wait." He dad looked up from his food. He pointed his fork at me. "Didn't your mother tell you to stay away from that boy?"

I nodded like a bobble head. "Yeah, I just noticed he hasn't been in school so I wondered…"

"Well, he was there with that Ateara kid."

I hadn't heard of the "Ateara kid". But, my mind relaxed knowing that Jared was fine and I was just being stupid. Though, why would he miss school over that?

"Well, goodnight dad," I muttered, backing out of the kitchen. I suddenly wanted to be alone.

Jared was probably close with Seth, so he was helping out. But, miss a whole week of school? That seems a little extreme.

"You going to bed already?" my dad asked roughly. He looked sad, but I needed to be alone with my thoughts.

I nodded. "I'm really tired."

I left the kitchen, hearing a faint, "Well, OK then. Sleep tight, Kimmy."

I passed Anna in the hallway. She had a phone pressed to her ear, but asked me, "Is dad home?"

I nodded, not sparing her a look. I heard her walk briskly down the hall and call out, "Dad! Harry Clearwater had a heart attack?"

- - - - - - -

Saturday afternoon, after barely sleeping the night before, when I was walking with Jenny to her house from the 7-Eleven for Slurpees, I saw him. Jared was walking towards us on the sidewalk from the opposite direction of Jenny's house in nothing, but ratty cut offs. I thought it odd to see him casually on this side of town when he usually stayed up towards the backwoods neighborhood. That's where all the tribal elders and descends usually ended up, just on the edge of the reservation, bordering the Olympic national forest.

"Kim," he sighed, coming towards us. I purposely looked down at my Slurpee and when I looked up to greet him, I blushed, noticing a smirk on his face.

"I'll just walk slowly," Jenny muttered. She kept her eyes downcast. "Hi Jared."

Jared nodded at her, stuffing his hands in his pockets. I watched her walk a ways down the street before slowing and sipping her Slurpee loudly.

"Are you OK?"  
I looked up, snorting. "Shouldn't I be asking you that? I haven't seen you all week."

Jared rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "Harry Clearwater died."

"I heard," I muttered, nodding. "It's horrible. He has a family and everything."

"Yeah, I've been – Sam wanted to help out with Seth, but his sister is the one that needs it…" he trailed off, looking like he'd said too much.  
"Sister? What's wrong with her?" I felt the green tinge of jealously in my voice. I knew I shouldn't and that Jared wasn't mine to claim, but I couldn't help but think that Leah Clearwater was definitely more in Jared's league than I was.

"She just – ah…" He ran a hand through his hair and down his face. It wasn't until then that I noticed how tired he was. His eyes were red and big, purple bags darkened under his eyes. His hair was a little erratic. "She's just sad, is all."

I nodded, clearing my throat. "I don't blame her."  
There was an awkward pause before I motioned to Jenny. "I should go."  
"Yeah, I'll see you Monday…" He stepped closer and leaned slightly forward towards me, but paused, thought better of it, and step away quickly. He flashed me a smile, before crossing the street and jogging off into the woods.

I sighed, feeling flustered. What was that about? And if that wasn't weird enough, his random appearance and sudden leaving was awkward and rushed. It was almost as though he wanted just to make sure I was all right before going on with whatever it was he was doing these days. And, this secret he kept. I knew he wasn't telling me something, whether it was from not trusting me or he just couldn't. Though, if there was something he couldn't tell me, I didn't blame him for trying to stay on Sam's good side. Something about his clam exterior was enough to pick up the hairs on the back of your next and agree to whatever he said.

But, the possibility of Jared not trusting me – I was hoping that wasn't the case.

"What was that about?" Jenny asked when I caught up to her. She was still watching where Jared disappeared.

I paused and thought. "I'm not really sure. Maybe he saw me and just decided to say hi or something."

"Why wasn't he wearing… _anything?"_ she asked flustered. There was a pink tinge to her cheeks. "It's cold out!"

I shrugged, feeling my own blush heat my cheeks. She had a point – we were wrapped up in scarves and hats with our Northfaces and parkas. Jenny even had gloves on.

Jenny didn't say anything more and I didn't provide anything else, so our walk was quiet. Life was beginning to get odd again. While I wasn't afraid of change like I was, I was still uneasy about the unpredictable and uncontrollable. There was something telling me, deep in my gut, that things were going to be changing again and I wouldn't be able to stop it. And, it wouldn't be necessarily for the better.

On Monday, it was cold and raining with a thick layer of usual fog making the town of La Push seem like an ominous ghost story.

"Hey Jenny," I said, sitting beside her on the gross hallway rug. I leaned against the lockers and slipped off my heavy coat and hat, feeling too warm now that I was inside. "It's really cold out today."

"Oh, that's nice," she muttered. She was bent over a book, her coat and backpack tossed to the side as though she couldn't sit down fast enough. The pages of the thick book were yellow and dog-eared over and over again. The binding was coming apart and a scary picture of a wolf was on the cover.

"What are you reading?" I asked, trying to lift it enough to get a good look. There was a name, but it was in Quileute.

She pulled it away and shrugged, snapping the book closed. "It's just a book. I'm kind of – I need to talk to you about – "

"Hey," Jared said coming up to us. He was wearing his green flannel jacket and a white shirt underneath. My stomach butterflies were a little disappointed. "What's up?"  
I watched him sit next to me and felt him scot closer so our sides were touching. I could feel his warmth. I smiled shyly at him, tucking a curl behind my ear. "Good morning. Jenny was just telling me – "  
"I was just telling her that I'll see her at lunch," Jenny interrupted. She quickly stood and walked briskly down the hallway.

I frowned, my stomach sinking. "I'm sure it wasn't you," I muttered, shifting my head to look at Jared's expression.

He seemed confused, but didn't seem to take it personally. "It's fine. Class is about to start anyway."

He was right of course. I hurried to my first period in hopes that I could talk to Jenny before class started. She was sitting in her spot, hunched over her book again, flipping the pages like she couldn't absorb the words fast enough.

"Jenny, we need to talk," I muttered. I stood in front of her desk, shuffling my feet. "Jared – "

Her head snapped up and I got a look of brief panic, before she calmed and leaned closer to me. "We need to talk at lunch – without Jared," she mumbled.

I didn't get a chance to ask why. The teacher hustled me to my seat. I stared at Jenny the rest of the period. She was trying to read under the desk without the teacher knowing. It was so unlike Jenny not to pay attention that my head felt like it was going to explode. What was so important that she'd risk her grade?

When the lunch bell ran, I practically ran to the cafeteria. I hadn't been able to concentrate and my stomach was rolling with anticipation. Jared stopped me about halfway and asked if I wanted to go with him to get some Panda Express, but I told him I already had a lunch.

"Jenny wants to talk to me about something, too," I said, glancing down the hall.

"Oh, all right then," he said. He seemed disappointed. "I'll see you later?"

I nodded and started walking down the hall again.

"So, what's going on?" I asked, slipping next to Jenny. She seemed to have finished her book and was picking her sandwich apart. I opened my brown sack and sat, waiting for her to talk.

She sighed before, pushing her lunch away. "Don't take this the wrong way. Something's not right about Jared, Kim. I'm not saying you shouldn't… I don't know, be friends with him, but I was curious about why a healthy man like Harry Clearwater would suddenly have a heart attack out of no where, so I thought about looking in our history. I found this book all about legends and old stories. They're really interesting. There's this one in particular about – "

"What does this have to do with Jared?" I asked impatiently. My nerves made me nauseas.

"Well, you know how we're descendants from wolves? Jared's showing signs of a legend of the mystical beast that goes along with it. Like, I was reading – "  
"Jenny, I'm sure Jared's fine," I muttered, trying not to roll my eyes. She'd made me wait for this?

"Yeah, I know, but it was talking about how random descends from the first… _pack_, form and connect each member like family – no matter social class or age - when there is a… _threat._ I mean, why would Sam Uley want to hang out with Seth Clearwater who's only, what, fourteen? And Jared, why would he suddenly be best friends with Jacob Black? I don't ever remember seeing them together. Besides being with you, he's always with him and Embry and, now, Quil Ateara."

"Ateara?" I snapped my head to look around to Jared's table. Sitting next to Embry Call was a boy that looked like he could be his brother. He was shorter than Embry, little stockier, but just as muscular – maybe even more so. His head was shaved too, and there was an excited smile on his face.

"They're always running around without shirts – even in cold enough weather for snow!" Jenny continued. "I overheard your mom talking to my mom on the phone the other day and she said that she'd seen Sam and Paul walking around really late a couple nights ago, while she was taking her dinner break."

"So? Maybe they were just taking a walk to get some air or something. Maybe they couldn't sleep."

"But, Kim – "  
"Jenny," I said, leaning close to her, "Jared told me Saturday that he'd been helping Seth cope with his dad's death. I'm sure there is some reasonable explanation to all this."  
"Exactly!" she exclaimed. "That's my point!"

"A mystical beast?"

"Just be careful," Jenny said, giving up. She rubbed her eyes. "It could be true."  
I could have laughed, but the bangs under Jenny's eyes stopped me. She really believed this. I decided just to let it go and humor her for the sake of avoiding another fight about Jared. I didn't want some legend making things horrible again. Besides, legends were just stories after all.

After school, I found Jared leaning on the side of my car, watching me.

I blushed and smiled, picking up my pace. I hadn't realized I'd missed him so much. The whole in my chest was no longer there and my days seemed lighter, even in the gray light.

He was so handsome…

"Hey love," He greeted. He shifted so he was leaning on the car next to me. He tapped the side with his hand. "How's driving?"

I shrugged, smiling at him. I liked my new nickname. "It's nice, I guess."  
We were quiet for a moment. Jared watched me impassively and I tried not to blush. His eyes were so deep and expressive; I felt it to my core. The sensation of being exposed was becoming familiar. It seemed Jared could see everything no matter how hard I tried to hide it.

"What did Jenny talk to you about?" he asked, running hand through his hair.

"Oh, just some idea she had about – " I stopped, realizing what I was about to say.

"About what?" he asked, he shifted around so he was facing me.

I waved my hand as though to wave the thought away. Jared wasn't mystical. "Just some story she read in a book about our history."

Jared leaned forward and his breathing picked up. "What was the story about?"  
He was so close. I shuffled my feet and had to remember what we were talking about. "Well, uh… I think something about wolves or something…"

"What do you think about it?" he asked. He leaned closer and supported himself with one of his hands by my head. His eyes were questioning and waiting impatiently for my answer.

"Just – just stories, " I managed to say. Jared was so close; I could feel his breath on my face and smell the soothing musky scent he had. I mindlessly leaned forward, but Jared suddenly jerked back.

I shook my head and blushed, looking up to find him looking away, down the parking lot. His expression was forlorn, but his eyes vacant.

"Jared, I – " I wanted to apologize or erase the moment that happened – or_ almost_ happened…

He didn't let me finish. "I should go, Kim." He looked over to me with a sad look. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

I nodded and watched him walk away, confused and slightly put out.

- - -

My dad was up early the next morning, his head in his hands. I didn't ask, but quietly went on with my morning ritual. My dad was sensitive and got attached to people easily. I wasn't surprised he was taking Harry's death badly. My mom smiled at me when she saw me, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

When I got to school, I was distracted by the rolling of my stomach. Obviously, I'd offended Jared or he wouldn't have left so quickly. He was so close though; it was just a reaction, wasn't it? Why was he so close anyway? And, what about the other day, on the side walk to Jenny's?

I didn't notice until I felt the prickling sensation on the back of my neck that Paul was watching me. He was leaning on the side of the building with his arms crossed and a scowl. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach and the day where Paul confronted me flashed through my head. Would he really call me out again?

I walked purposely past him to the door, but he gripped my arm before I could walk through.

"We need to talk," he hissed. He dropped my arm and led me over to the side so we were out of people's way as they walked into school. There weren't many people because the bell was going to ring – I'd been a little late – so I was worried. Paul scared me.

"Do you really like Jared?"

I was surprised by his bluntness. I groped for any answer, but I couldn't form one. I didn't want to say the wrong thing and really make a mess of things.

"If you don't, you should really just leave him alone. He doesn't need you – "

"What?" I said, frowning confusedly.

"Do you like him?"

"We – we're friends," I mumbled, wrinkling my forehead.

"You don't act like friends. Friends don't hold hands or –" he cut himself off, scowling. He crossed his arms and glared at me.

"I – I don't understand," I said, shifting around uneasily. "What are you trying to – "

"I'm asking you if you like Jared or not!" Paul shouted, throwing his hands in the air. "It's not that had to understand! I mean, he gives you all these signals and looks and you either are just trying to ignore them or… acting like you care about him or – or something."

"I – I – " I choked, trying to hold back the tears. Did he know about yesterday?

"God, you're just wasting his time and energy! He has more important things to worry about than some low life like _you,"_ he growled, getting in my face. "I can't believe that you're the one he picks family over or worries about or becomes depressed over because you're just _damn friends_."

Hurt tears flowed down my face. I was shocked, confused, and the furious glare Paul was giving me chilled me to my very bones. "I'm sorry. I really just – "  
"Just what? Thought you could just be friends and be all happy while giving him all this false hope that –that he can have what Emily and Sam have? That's not how life works!"

"What's wrong with being just friends?" I sobbed. I didn't know what Paul was talking about. I was so confused and frustrated. "I just wanted to be his friend!"  
"Exactly," Paul muttered, pointing at me. "Are you ever going to be anything but friends? Are you ever going to be as much to him as he is for you?"

"I – I –" I didn't know what to tell him. I did want to give as much as Jared gave to me. Though, I didn't know how to do that. Paul didn't let me answer.

"God Kim," Paul shouted. "It's not fair to him you're just going to – "  
"What's going on?"

We both jerked around to see Jared, standing by the front entrance, watching us lividly. He was shaking slightly and glaring at Paul as though he was keeping himself from attacking him.

* * *

**author's note:** _So, I hope that clears things up with Paul. I told you I wasn't going to just flat out tell you what was up with Paul, so hopefully you paid attention. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask._

_Paul's not such a jerk – I promise. Later in the story he'll warm up to Kim, but he sees inside Jared's head and Jared wants to be with Kim, but isn't sure if she feels the same way. Basically, she gives him mixed signals and he doesn't want to act on a hunch. Paul's angry because Jared thinks about Kim first before anyone else – even him and the pack. He thinks Kim's toying with Jared – who does that sound like? ;)_

_You'll find out a little more about it as the story goes along – more like bits of detail I didn't give here – from Jared and other characters. _

_So, the next chapter is the one you've all been waiting for. I'm sorry for the cliffhanger – this just gave me a little more breathing room. The pace is going to really pick up, so if it's too fast, please tell me. I WANT TO KNOW._

_Thank you for all the reviews! +400!!! I can't believe it! I can't tell you how much they mean to me. _

_And I just want to say; I enjoyed hearing what you guys thought of the movie. It's very interesting… isn't it? lol. :D_

_Thanks everyone, Little Black Dresses_

_P.S. Don't forget to __**REVIEW!!**_

_I have up through chapter 18 written. So, the more reviews I get, the faster you'll see them. ;)_

_**Curious: Another author did this, but it sparked my curiosity. Where is everyone from? **_

_(city/town/state/country/etc.)_

_**And, for the sake of the holiday season, what do you celebrate?**_

_(Christmas/ Hanukah/ etc.)_

_Obviously you don't have to participate if you don't want to._


	17. Interval Two: Death and Destruction

**Note:** **Surprise! This Jared chapter is my gift you for the holidays. (A review is a nice thank you.) There will be another update right after this – like NOW – so you can see what happened with Kim and Jared. Remember, this chapter of Jared's is reflecting back on Kim's Chapter 15. _Enjoy!_**

* * *

_Playlist:__ 808's and Heartbreak by Kanye West. While not being into the genre, this is a good album. _

Interval Two – Death and Destruction:

(Jared P.O.V.)

_Nightmare – (noun) a dream arousing feelings of intense fear, horror, and distress; a demon or spirit once thought to plague sleeping people_

I woke from a deep sleep that lasted 23 hours and five minutes, missing the entire weekend and that Monday. I'd been hoping to enjoy my weekend for once, maybe take Kim out somewhere and enjoy the beach nicknamed "lip locker," but the utter exhaustion hit me the moment my head felt the pillow.

It was a like a dream really. I'd never been one to sleep, I've always been somewhat of an insomniac after my dad died, nightmares and other dreams of the afterlife plagued me. Lately, it was Kim that filled my dreams. Usually they were sweet and mostly fantasies that I hoped to make reality one day, but when the sickly sweet smell of leeches were smelt on the trails around the rez, nightmares visited me with scenes of her cold, dead body hanging limply from my arms. Sometimes I watched the leech sucking the life from her and I fought the pull holding me back. I'd watch, horrified, terrified. I would feel my soul being sucked from me, too, with each draught from the leech on her neck.

There was no cold sweat, or sudden adrenaline rush that made me dizzy. I didn't bolt awake, or gasp for breath. I didn't panic and fly out the door without a second thought other than I just _had to see her._

I'd found out which room was her weeks ago – the last one of the left side of the house. It was usually open, but the thin curtains draped the insides with a layer of green covering. She slept hugging a pillow, her face pressed to it, lost in a good dream. I'd wonder what she was dreaming about and whether or not she dreamt of me like I dreamt of her. I never tried to get my hopes up, but they'd always be at a hazy level, leaning on the screen as far as it could go without breaking it. There wasn't anything more I wanted in the world, in that moment, other than her.

I'd be the first to admit that I'd be happy with staying her best friend forever, the one she could tell anything and count on for everything. She'd have me any way she wanted. But, sometimes my mind got wandering when Sam's did about Emily and the kids he saw in their future. He saw the Little House full of children and wonderful food and love. His mind focused on the small details of Emily – her body butter lotion scent, the kind she always wore; the flow of her hair and how it reflected red in the light; the smallest wrinkles around her eyes when she laughed; the way her voice sounded above everything else, a hum that was something he could get lost in; her eyes and the way they twinkled with undying kindness and love for everything that breathed.

Or, could be cooked.

When I first saw my Kim, I saw her as a whole. Her hair was out of control, so curly it was the first thing you noticed; her cheekbones were high, and her eyelashes long. She was all wiry limbs that seemed awkward and too long on her body, and she was extremely thin, someone who you'd worry about. She was perfect because she wasn't perfect.

There were small details about her that made my blood boil and my heart thump. Her eyelashes were long, brushing the tips of those cheekbones; her hair had perfect curls dripping down her back like little springs waiting to be pulled. They also bounced lightly with her smooth walk, waving and dancing. Her slightness made her graceful and fluid. Her eyes sparkled and held all the secrets I yearned to know. She wasn't like anyone else.

I'd never seen her at a high school party and I don't ever remember seeing her before that day in English when my world tilted and spun in a different direction. She blended in; invisible to anyone that didn't pay enough attention to the world slowly going by them without a backwards glance. There were no wrong answers in class. She didn't know how to interact with anyone outside her comfort zone. People didn't know her name. She read during lunch, paid attention in class, went home, and didn't have plans. She preferred to be alone and paint what her beautiful mind created. She wasn't just _one of the crowd_. She didn't fit in.

She got nervous when she talked to anyone other than Jenny. There was a rosy blush that dusted her cheeks, darkening her already tanned skin. I always wanted to kiss it, feeling the excess heat radiating off. It wasn't until recently that the pink tinge stopped showing up at everything that came out of my mouth. I still saw it when I got caught up in staring at her, following her perfect lines and curves, and she caught me. I still saw it when I touched her, accidently or accidently on purpose. If I said something on my mind that was particularly suggestive or unedited, very blunt, she blushed. She didn't know what to say sometimes when her tongue got tied from a question she didn't know the answer to, or how to react to something she'd never encountered before. She was so self conscious and could not believe in herself no matter the amount of truthful compliments I gave to her. She shied away from anything new or unfamiliar. She was delicate, painfully so. I needed to look after her and love her with every fiber of my being. Anything less wasn't good enough. She was someone I could trust with my love, so I really had to excuse. She depended on me just like I depended on her. She was one of a kind.

She was mine.

And, I was hers. _Would she ever know that?_

I woke from a deep sleep that lasted 23 hours and five minutes, to the sound of my mother's singing in the kitchen as she cooked her famous casserole. It was a pleasant sound, something I instantly paired up with the word _mom._ I hadn't heard it for a long time though, not after my dad's death.

I sat up, groggily, feeling the renewed energy level fill me, and stretched as far as I could. I reached for the ceiling, and then bent to the side; hearing joints pop and feeling the muscles loosen.

I wandered into the kitchen, sliding into the barstool seat, watching my mother work her magic.

"How'd you sleep?" she asked over the dull roar of the stove fan.

"Great," I muttered roughly. My voice was still thick with sleep. "Better than I have in a long time."

She nodded her head and tapped her foot to the music purring out of the old radio sitting on the counter. "That's wonderful."  
I was quiet after that, listening to the sweet sound that sparked a sense of longing on my gut. I wished it was always like this and that my –

"Sam called," my mom said, stirred something in a big mixing bowl. "He said to wake you up and tell you that some football game is one and the xyz play is going to be played or something like that. But, I said, 'honey, I'm not waking him up after it took him less than a second to fall asleep.' I said, 'when he wakes up, whenever that will be, when he's not about to drop because of the all the midnight happenings he's been up to, I'll send him over with a full stomach – and not before then.'"

I watched her eyebrows disappear into her thick, black hair. She had one long strip of gray curving around her face, framing it in age. She was pretty for a mom, I thought. Her eyes were still sharp and missed nothing.

"So, when you've eaten," she said, nodding to me. "You head over there. He didn't sound like something amazing was happening. He sounded just as tired as you were, darling."

"I'm sorry, ma," I muttered quietly. I felt guilty that I was leaving her alone so much. I felt guilty I was keeping secrets from her. I wasn't telling her about Kim, or any of the other guys. I felt like I was short changing her and that I should pay more attention. She still needed me, but I pulled away and wasn't there for her.

She clucked her tongue, dishing me up a plate of my all-time favorite meal. "You'll tell me in time, Jared. As long as you're not doing anything stupid, illegal, or suicidal, I could care less." She reached across the counter and ran a hand slowly through my hair, patting me on the cheek. "As long as you're happy."  
I swallowed the remorse and shame, shoving food into my mouth. I wanted to cry, her love was too much to take in one sitting. There was so much of it; I wasn't allowed to think of anything else.

I ended up walking to the Little House about midnight, after eating fourths and cleaning out any leftovers my mom planned on having. The night was chilly, but it bounced off me without even making a difference to my internal furnace. There was a light wind, blowing the tops of the evergreens. It smelled fresh and clean, but moist. It was going to rain.

It was pitch black on the street, so the porch light on the Little House was like a beacon, fighting off the horrors of the night. I'd always hated the dark. The fact that monsters weren't just kid stuff made it all the worse.

I walked into the Little House without knocking, gently closing the door for the sake of Emily, whose soft snores were coming from the upstairs bedroom. I had walked into an electric buzz, humming around the room in uncomfortable shifts, weary sighs, and the light grunts of unsatisfaction coming from Sam and Paul, muttering at the kitchen table.

I ignored the three heads that turned to greet me, sitting on the couch, and walked directly up the Sam. "You called?" I asked lowly, careful not to alert the ones on the couch, waiting anxiously.

Sam sighed and leaned away from Paul, rubbing his eyes. "Harry Clearwater died this afternoon."

I sat down next to Paul who had his own face buried in his arms. I heard his breathing, a faint whimpering on the each breath, panted out. Had he slept?

"Is that bad?" I asked confused. I watched Sam rise from his car and fill his mug with coffee.

"Yeah, it's bad," he muttered. "He's young, Jared. He was a member of the council, someone who knew about us. He has a family – a son actually. Seth just turned fourteen."

"Billy Black thinks he died because a new generation is coming into effect," Paul said, his voice muffled by his arms.

"Ahh," I groaned, running a hand through my hair. While even feeling fully rested after crashing completely, I felt the itch of tired eyes and the creep of fatigue seeping back into my bones. There was a nag in the back of my skull, pulling me towards the place where Kim dreamt. Another member was the last thing I wanted to deal with at this point. I could count out three days of sleep. "Why are see still here?"

"He's not showing signs of phasing," Paul muttered for Sam. "Sue Clearwater knows the symptoms and she hasn't called yet. She said she'd call if she sees anything."

I nodded, leaning my head on the table top. The coolness dulled the headache I had coming on.

"Sam?"

I looked up, seeing Sam watching the ceiling. Paul was watching him too, confused. I recognized the longing on Sam's face, panging my heart. I shivered as the nagging became stronger. There was a sense of familiar panic that Kim wasn't there, in my reach or line of vision.

"Sorry," he whispered, returning back to us. "I think we should just sleep and go over to Le – the Clearwater's tomorrow."

I frowned, nodding. I watched Paul kick the younger boys on the floor and collapse on the couch without a second thought. Sam walked up the stairs without a backwards glance.

I rested my head back on the counter top, thinking about where I'd like to be at that moment.

- -

Watching Seth stare at the TV mindlessly was heart retching and mindlessly dull. I recognized the expressions and slight whimpers that escaped every once in awhile, jabbing the imaginary stake deeper into my heart. It was reliving my own dad's death – and once had been enough to last me for a lifetime. It was complete torture.

All the I'm sorry's tossed around and pity looks were enough to make me nausea. I saw the flicker of annoyance and impatience cross Seth's face every time a relative, who he probably hadn't seen in years, patted him on the shoulder and acted like they knew what he felt like. I remember wanting to rip the hands off everyone that tried to console me and sympathize me. They had no fucking idea what ran through my head. Them acting like they did was just downright insulting.

While we tried not to, Jacob, Embry, Paul, Quil, and I were watching Leah Clearwater. The Leah Clearwater. Seeing her in Sam's memories was enough to make her seem like an old friend, long and lost. It was uncomfortable that Sam's thoughts didn't do her justice – she was gorgeous. Her long hair was straight and flowed down her back, silky and shining. Hazel eyes flashed dangerously at anyone that talked to her, almond shaped and lined with dark eyeliner.

She sat in her father's chair, hugging her knees to her chest and playing with the hole in her jeans, ripped at her left knee. She watched Sam unwaveringly while he pretended not to notice. He talked politely with Sue or Billy or Charlie Swan, the city of Forks' own police chief and long time friend of Harry Clearwater and the dad of this Bella Swan that Jacob didn't stop thinking about, or someone that stopped by to offer there consoles. His eyes would drift, but never quite make it to her form, staring at him.

We did this until Thursday – waiting and watching. At least we were sleeping, none of us could complain.

"Where's Leah?" was the first thing out of Sam's mouth when Sue opened the door on Thursday morning. You could see the living room from the doorway and Leah wasn't in her usual spot with her hair perfectly straight and her make up perfectly applied.

"She's… out," Sue said. There were thick, black marks under her eyes and faint black lines trailing down her face from her days old makeup she was probably too worn out to clean off. Her hair, usually rolled in big curls on top of her head, was flat and lifeless. You could see how she'd age over just a few days.

My chest hurt. She reminded me of my mom.

"Out?" Sam asked, stepping inside the door. He towered over little Sue.

"She went out for a walk last night and didn't come back. I was hoping you could tell me – "

She didn't get to finish. Sam was already pushing through us and running off into the trees. We followed, shedding our clothes. The sensation of my skin ripping apart and bones realigning themselves took over. The heat was blistering until I wanted to shout out from the pain, but then, it was gone – in a flash. There was a wave of coolness, washing over me. I took a deep breath, shaking myself. I was refreshed, feeling like that was how I should have been in the first place.

_Leah, Leah, Leah, Leah…_

We ran after Sam, following his thundering footsteps towards the scared little voice, retracting from the touch of our minds. There were flashes of a clump of bushes, a road leading to nowhere, and the sky turning light with the morning. Fear was shimmering, chilling my bones. It was icy and sharp.

_Leah, Leah, Leah, Leah…_

All of us were thinking, lost in our own thoughts. _A girl in the pack? Was that even possible? What was going to happen now?_

We arrived to find a small, silvery gray wolf, hiding behind wild blueberry bushes, ferns, and an old stump. It whimpered and howled, trying to curl itself in a small ball, shielding itself from the world.

_Go away… go away…_

_Don't frighten her_, Sam whispered faintly in our heads. There was an image of a circle._ Protect her from herself…_

We slowly surrounded her, gently forming a big enough O that we could hide in the shadows. It was big enough that it made an allusion that it was just her and Sam – the way he wanted it to be.

_Leah, Leah, Leah… Lee-lee…_

She yelped, growling under her breath. I had to take a step back from the rush of memories and feelings from years. Past bitter and regret, long forgotten happiness, hatred, loneliness, and a broken heart swelled my heart twice over and I felt like passing out. Her memories were so strong; I had to push with my conscious back so I could even think straight. It was hard to decipher which memories were mine and which ones were foreign._ Sam younger, the high school, Leah holding Sam's hand, kissing, I love you's, tears, Emily Young, pain, loss…_

_Leah, please… I'm here to help. I know what you're going through…_

_Is this what you left me for? Did you think Emily could handle it better than I could?_ There were questions burning to be answered and I whimpered, feeling the mental strain from Embry, Quil, and Jacob. Sam was lost to me, lost in reliving memories and his own broken heart. It was odd knowing he loved someone before Emily when he and Emily were meant to be together. There was no other thought of another woman before today.

_Of course not. It'll all come, I promise. Just relax… calm… _It wasn't an order. He wanted her to do it on her own without his intervention. Maybe if he let her stay independent and not risk the level of such togetherness like last time, he could be forgive from his –

_Shut up! All of you! Just shut up… I don't want your pity. I don't want it…_

We backed away, still in the circle, just making it even bigger. The gaps between us were large and I felt the loneness. I couldn't take this harsh reality so bluntly. The lost was so staggering I couldn't catch my breath. How could someone live after all this?

_Leah, calm down_, Sam said, giving in. The pull on Leah was immediate and her thoughts calmed and her body shuttered, collapsing to the ground. _Please, just trust us…_

_I can't. Not after what you did to me, Sam Uley. Not ever…_ Her bitterness and resentfulness leaked from her words.

- -

Friday night, Sue called Sam at two am, claiming that Seth was yelling in his sleep and burning like an out of control fire. I got up lazily from my warm bed and, still half sleep, arrived at the Little House just as Seth was phasing for the first time in the backyard. We chased him around all night, trying to make him relax. It was harder than it should have been because Leah, who had finally unphased, refused to help us. She still was angry at the world and now, finally knowing about imprinting, had returned to being a cold, hard bitch. She had no sympathy, appreciation, or consideration for anyone – especially Emily.

"What are you going to do, Sam? Make me?" she asked, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. She stared him down until he looked away, shame filling his expression.

"No, Leah," he muttered, watching the floor. "It would be nice if you joined your pack, though. Think about it. We're your family now whether you like it or not."

She hadn't liked that, but Sam got out alive and around 6:45 am we got Seth to relax enough to come back to the Little House. He phased back about noon, sobbing.

I cringed, shuttering. _I guess it would be traumatic if I was only fourteen, too…_

Around three, I begging Sam to let me go find Kim and just see her. The nag in the back of my skull ached and it was painful. I needed to see her.

"Well, make it quick," he mumbled, running a hand over his shaved head. He glanced at Emily, a shiver running down his back. "I need you here, so be quick about it."  
I nodded, running off, hearing him mutter, "I'm becoming a softy…"

Paul caught up with me about a block away from Kim's house. "I needed some air and time away from the ice bitch," he grumbled, coming up beside me. We entered the wood and phased. I was impatient to see my Kim. I hadn't seen her in a week and it was becoming torturous to breathe.

_I thought you didn't like Kim,_ I muttered, not smelling her in the house. I didn't hear anything, so my thoughts went to Jenny and the road Kim directed me to when I'd dropped her off a couple weeks ago. I tried to retrace my steps while staying hidden in the shadows of the dense wood.

I heard Paul grumble and his usual thoughts about Kim came up. It made me angry that he didn't see Kim the way I did, that he couldn't see her beauty but was so focused on what was plainly in front of him. And, even then, that he took beauty to be big chests and curves, not uniqueness or individually. Why would you want beauty to be the same thing anyway? You'd get bored with the same old figure and same old thinking.

_Why?_ I asked. I started to slow, smelling Kim's sweet flowery, sunshine scent. Even that little taste of her, made my nerves calm slightly and I wasn't so anxious to get to her.

I was overpowered by frustration while a memory of Jacob phasing, for the first time, flashed through my head. That night had also been Kim's birthday and the date I'd promised to take her on. I chose to go to her than stay with the pack and help Jacob transform. Paul's anger and hurt was sharp in my head. It made me wince and I wined lowly, bowing my head to him while still trotting through the woods.

The memory faded and his bitterness flowed through. _That's why…_

I snorted, the heat of my breath pluming out of my nose in a thick fog. I glanced to the left, watching him fade back into the woods as Kim's scent got strong. I could see two figures walking towards us on the sidewalk.

_That's stupid_, I told him, jogging to the edge of the wood. I looked back and watched him, sit on his haunches. _She's my imprint._

He howled quietly, shaking his head roughly. I watched his thump his side on the tree, making the loose pine needs and dead leaves float to the ground over him.

_That doesn't mean I have to like her,_ he said, growling again. _She just brings trouble._

_To who?_ I asked. I snorted again, watching him. _She's good for me. You should know that._

_I try to stay out of your thoughts, remember? It's bad enough dreaming about Emily and Sam…_ he shivered, disgust seeped out from his thoughts. _But, with Kim, it's just wrong._

I snarled at him, giving him a clear warning. The hair bristled on the back of my neck and I bared my teeth. He was entering dangerous territory. _You asshole, son of a bitch! You haven't even given her a chance. She's better than you'd ever be. You're just jealous. Get over yourself. _

I didn't wait around for his reaction and I ignored his murmur of thoughts to the best of my ability, letting the sensation of phasing back take over me. I took a deep breath, glaring at Paul defiantly before untying my cut offs from about my leg. I threw them on, marching towards Kim and Jenny who were about halfway down the sidewalk from when I lasted looked. I was furious and I didn't think getting into a fight would solve anything.

"Kim," I sighed when she was close enough. The utter relief I felt was like the sun burning off the fog. My chest was not longer in agony. I wanted to kiss her.

She dropped her wide eyes, blushing deeply. I knew it was because I wasn't wearing a shirt. I smirked, trying not to grin, enjoying the effect I had over her. My ego grew slightly bigger.

"I'll just walk slowly," Jenny said to Kim, her eyes on the ground. She didn't look up as she passed me. "Hi Jared."

I nodded to her, even thought she couldn't see, not sparing her a look. My eyes were on my beloved. She was bundled up, holding the largest Slurpee I'd ever seen - I wasn't aware that they made them that big. I stuffed my hands in my pockets, not sure what to do with my hands. I was scared that if I didn't suppress them, I'd grab Kim and never let go. I didn't want to think about being away from her again.

She was staring at Jenny, who was sipping loudly on her Slurpee. "Are you OK?"

Her eyes flashed back to me with, what seem to be, annoyance. She snorted, asking, "Shouldn't I be asking you that? I haven't seen you all week."

I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling guilty. So she had noticed… I didn't know what to tell her, but I didn't want to lie to her. So, I didn't. "Harry Clearwater died."

"I heard," she muttered, nodding. She frowned. "It's horrible. He had a family and everything."

"Yeah, I've been – Sam wanted to help out with Seth, but his sister is the one that needs it…" I trailed off, catching myself before I really blew it. _Why had I told her that for? _I wanted to say something else, but I couldn't think of what to say.

"Sister? What's wrong with her?" There was an odd tone in Kim's voice that I wasn't able to pin point. She wasn't looking at me, but glaring at a tree.

"She just – ah…" I didn't want to give her too much again. I wanted to rid her face with that expression. I ran a hand through my hair, feeling the heat. "She's just sad, is all."

I watched Kim nod her head, her hair twirling gracefully out from under her red hat. She cleared her throat. "I don't blame her."

I couldn't think of what to say and I was lost in examining her. There wasn't anything abnormal or unusual about her – she didn't appear to be hurt. She looked awkward and my heart sunk slightly. _Were we back there, again?_

"I should go," she said after a moment, motioning with her hand to Jenny, still behind me, sipping her Slurpee.

"Yeah, I'll see you Monday…" I muttered lowly, feeling that urge to be near her grow strong again. I felt like I was losing her and there wasn't anything I could do. She was shutting me out and I didn't know why. She bit her lip, chewing on it. My heart sped, my mind wandering to what would happen if I…

I stepped back, realizing I'd gotten to close. She wanted to leave. She was done talking to me. I needed to let her go for the time being. Besides, I could see Paul's shadow in the woods across the street, watching me and I heard the faint howl on the wind, telling me my time was up.

I flashed Kim a smile, quickly removing myself from the situation before I did something stupid. We were friends and it was going to stay that way until she said otherwise.

I didn't look back, but I had the urge. I was afraid I would go back if I did. Paul was restlessly pacing, waiting for me. Sam needed me.

I phased, feeling the freedom of being free of such human emotions. The wolf was glad to have me back.

_What?_ I asked, following Paul's lope through the woods, into the deeper parts where the shadows were thick and we were safe from being seen.

_Seth phased again and he's stuck. We're needed for moral support,_ he said monotonously. He was hiding something, carefully not thinking about anything other than Seth. I figured he was keeping his frustration and anger at me in check. Maybe he was finally realizing fighting wasn't going to solve anything.

- -

There was only one other time that I can remember of ever panicking in my life. It was right after my dad died. He was being scattered among the ocean, Native American tradition, and I suddenly felt the loss of a piece of me. The memories I had of my dad were faint, almost nonexistent. I was plagued with nightmares of not being a good son, not being nice to him, not hugging him enough. Did he know I never hated him? Did he know that when I said fishing wasn't a real job that I didn't mean it? Did he know how sorry I was? I was so _fucking_ scared that I was going to forget him and that maybe he hadn't known that I'd loved him.

There was only that time and this time that my mind got away from me and I panicked.

"Oh, just some idea she had about – " Kim said, stopping. My heart raced and my mind went numb. _Stories?_

She sparked my interest and warning flags went up. I shifted to look at her, to read her like the book she was. She had my full attention now. "About what?"

She waved her hand as though to drop the subject. Her expression was embarrassed, like she was thinking the unthinkable.

Uh oh.

"Just some story she read in a book about our history."

I leaned close to her, looking deeply into her eyes, anxious to know what was in that head of hers. What would she think? Would she believe me when the time came to tell her? _How the hell did I not see this coming? _"What was the story about?"

She hesitated and my heart thumped loudly in my chest. I almost couldn't hear her. "Well, uh… I think something about wolves or something…"

I tried to fight the overwhelming devastation I felt. "What do you think about it?" I asked. I unconsciously leaned closer, terrified.

"Just – just stories, "she stuttered breathlessly. Her eyes fluttered, like just before a kiss. _What?_

I jerked back, breathing hard. I'd lost my mind. She didn't even know what she was talking about. I overreacted and I probably screwed everything up now. She probably hated me.

_No,_ I thought, looking far off into the parking lot. I couldn't look at her. It was bad enough that I was hoping for something she might not want. I should've been happy with the way things were. Why did I always have to want more?

"Jared, I – " Kim started to say. She was blushing and looked sad.

Self-loathing filled my heart and I felt disgusted with myself. I'd done that.

"I should go, Kim," I said quietly, looking up at her. I needed her to forgive me, but that was for another time. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

What I didn't know was that my _son of a bitch _best friend was going to take it too far and totally ruin anything I might have had with her. Couldn't he see that she was scared? Couldn't he see that he'd gone _completely mental?_

The way Kim's eyes shone with tears in the dreary light of the morning fog was enough to make the blood rush and boil within me so white hot, I wanted to kill something.

Or someone. I'd never forgive him.

* * *

**author's note:** _please enjoy your holiday present, _**review****,**_ and read the next chapter. _

_**HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!**_


	18. Chapter Sixteen: True Love

_Playlist:_ _The Fear by Lilly Allen_

Chapter Sixteen – True Love:

_Impossible – (adj.) not possible, too difficult, not endurable, not believable _

My world had become muted. I froze, taking a shuttering breath. I turned slowly, feeling the emotions rise and fill my chest to the point where it hurt. I stared at him, hands hanging limply at my sides and shoulders slumped, watching him shout at Paul. He was walking stiffly towards us, hands balled, jaw set, eyes angry.

He started to yell at Paul, but I couldn't hear what he was yelling; the world was in slow motion, the words getting lost in-between moments. His arms were waving wildly and his teeth grinded together, holding back – if only slightly.

Paul backed away and with one more curse from Jared, he jolted, forgetting his car in the parking lot. I'd never seen him so scared, so confused, in my life. He looked like he was lost, unknown about what he should do and how to fix it this time.

I watched Jared come towards me with a mixture of plain agony and rage. I don't think I'd ever seen him so angry before. He was dangerous. I shied away from him slightly, out instinct, and his eyes flickered to me. All his emotions were there, swirling and din. But, I saw something else, something I couldn't identify. It softened his eyes, the danger passing, and I let him pull me to his chest and bury his face in my neck.

I clutched his shirt and started to sob. I was shaking so badly and so out of control with my thoughts – they whirled around in my head, making me dizzy. I buried my face deeper into his chest so I was wrapped in his jacket and his arms, as though if I did, he would protect me from everything – even myself. I didn't think I could handle anything but breathing, and, even then, I was having problems.

"I'm so sorry, Kim," Jared whispered roughly into my neck. His hot breath made me tingle; relaxing my spasms enough that I could start to breathe and stifle the tears falling so quickly down. "I didn't think he'd do that. It was my fault. I'm so sorry…"

"Why – why does he hate me?" I whispered back, reliving the way he glared with so much hatred, it burned holes in me. I shivered, turning my head into Jared's chest again, enveloped in his warmth and musky smell – pine trees, campfire fire, and soap. I was safe there.

"He doesn't like that I'm friends with you," Jared mumbled in my neck. I shivered again, only from him being so close to me, but he just pulled me closer. There was a faint tortured hum that vibrated his chest, making my heart break in two. It was such a sad sound; I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging his as tight as I could.

There was a dull bell noise, signaling the beginning of the school day, but we didn't move. I no longer felt like learning.

"Why?"

Jared hesitated, slowly rubbing circles on my back. I didn't focus on that, but the way his hair curled just so away from the tip of his ear. It was so long now; it was falling into his eyes. "He wants – he doesn't think we should be just... he thinks I'm wasting my time."

"Do you think you're wasting your time?" I asked in a small voice. I was deathly afraid of the answer. The '_what if's_ started to nag me and I felt like crying again. It was overwhelming – I didn't think I could _not _be his friend.

If it were possible, Jared pulled me closer, growling under his breath. "No," he said angrily. "I want to be your friend."

"Just your friend?" I slipped my arms from around his neck and pulled away from him slightly, dropping my eyes to my feet. I don't know what made me ask it, or where I got the courage to ask it, but the moment it was out of my mouth, it felt right. I understood what Paul was finally trying to ask me. That didn't keep my breathing regular, though.

When he didn't answer, I looked up. He was watching me with his deep, dark eyes. I could see the warm chocolate brown swirled in with the dark shadows, mysterious with ardor and furor dancing behind his guarded expression. He was distressed from my tears – I could tell that much – and the anger he had for Paul was still a low growl on his touch. I knew I was the only reason he let Paul run away without so much as a black eye.

His expression was so fearful, lips parted like he didn't know what to say, but knew he should say something. I decided that was answer enough. "It's OK, Jared, if you don't. I'm perfectly fine with just being your friend."

"That's not it," Jared muttered, his voice tortured. "I – I'm not…"

"Its fine –"  
"I'm scared of you," he muttered, it rolling off his tongue in one, quick breath. His words were mumbled into the side of my cheek. His breath tickled my ear. "You're scary."

"I don't know what you mean," I mumbled, confused. I furrowed my eyebrows and waited for him to explain. My stomach rolled apprehensively. _Was I just that hideous?_

"It's not that – I really like being your… what I mean is –" He took a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair. "You're tricky to read sometimes. Sometimes, if I say something, you shut me out and I don't know what you're thinking anymore. Sometimes, you're so easy to understand and your thoughts are right there…"

He trailed off, closing his eyes tightly. Our foreheads brushed and I choked on my breath, trying to keep my brain for cancelling out on me.

His eyes slowly opened and he ran a hand through his hair. "You're scary," he said," because I don't know how you're going to react and I don't want to lose you…"

I closed my eyes, feeling the heat of his breath on my face. I felt like laughing. I was so confused and mixed up I didn't know what to think. He was worried about me – about my reaction? What was his secret? Did he not know me at all? Did he not know that I trusted him completely – without a second thought?

"Kim?" Jared whispered, huskily. His voice was tinted with concern, unable to read my reaction.

My eyes flickered open, only to rest on his smooth lips, parted. He was heavily panting, creating a gentle fog. I didn't think twice, the impulse to know that they felt like pulled me forward and before the sensible part of my brain could stop me… _I was kissing Jared Thail._

It was only for a second before I felt him let go of me and jerk away, his eyes wide – wild and unrestrained.

I blushed mortified and dropped my eyes to the ground. I put a hand to my cheek, wondering, _what did I to do that for?_

"I'm sorry," I muttered, taking a step back. Jared caught me around the back of my neck, stopping me from moving. He came right up next to me and traced my jaw to the corner of my mouth with his lips, slowly, playing with the rhythm of my heart beat. He gently held my head in his hand; his calloused thumb gently brushed the tears leaking down my face.

"For what?"

His hot breath brushed my neck, sending chills down my spine. He was there, _right there._

I couldn't answer, but melted when he kissed my cheek tenderly. He rested his forehead on mine and I couldn't breathe. _How long had I been dreaming of this?_ My lower lip trembled as his thumb traced it and I heard a faint, frustrated growl.

"I have something to tell you," he said quietly. "It doesn't feel right keeping it from you any longer. I've been waiting for the right – I just didn't think…"

I still didn't say anything – partly because my mouth wasn't working and the fact that I didn't want him to have second thoughts. I wanted him to trust me. I wanted him not to be afraid. He could tell me anything – he needed to know that.

He took a step back, placing a hand on his hip and running the other through his hair. "Do you know the Quileute legends?" he started, his eyes focused on the ground. I watched his breath blow out in a steamy plum.

I shook my head. I felt my stomach sink – _where is this going?_ I wished I'd let Jenny tell me.

Jared fidgeted nervously, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm not sure how to start then…"

He paused for a minute, gathering up the words. I wrapped my arms around myself, frowning.

"Just tell me," I said quietly. I was surprised with the strength of my voice.

He looked around, sighing deeply, before looking me right in the eye. My breathing hitched again, but he held me there, saying, "I'm a werewolf."

I stood there, my feet cold and wet, my ears numb and my arms wrapped around me trying to hold in what body heat I had left.

That wasn't what I was expecting.

"Kim?" Jared asked anxiously. He didn't come closer to me, but leaned forward slightly.

I suddenly was aware that I'd been staring at him, waiting for the punch line to his joke.

"I understand if you don't believe me, but I'm telling you the truth," he said lowly. He watched the ground, sticking his hands into his pockets. "I wouldn't lie to you."

"I – trust you," I croaked, feeling dizzy. "But, are you really trying to tell me – "  
He took my hand before I could finish, and gently pulled me towards the woods lining the left side of the school. We went down a trail that I knew led to the beach if we followed it all the way down, but he veered right and led me even deeper in to the thick forest, catching me when I happen to trip over a root or branch.

We finally stopped after a few minutes, far enough off the path so no one could see us. He let go of my hand and backed away. I didn't know what he was doing, so I took a step forward, but he stopped me with hand.

I watched him take off his coat, and then the flannel shirt. When his t-shirt was being pulled off, I yelped, clapping my hands to my eyes. My cheeks burned from the flash of his bare chest. "Jared! What are you doing?"

"Showing you," he muttered. I heard the faint sound of a belt buckle and then a zipper. "I want you to believe me, so you know I'm not lying. And, if I phase in my clothes, I can't put them back on."

My cheeks burned even brighter, realizing where his words led to.

"Just – just stay there," he said quietly. I stood absolutely still, shaking lightly. _What was going to happen?_

There was crunching of him walking away, breaking twigs and ruffling leaves, before a muffle grunt and faint crack. There was a thump. I didn't open my eyes; feeling the energy of something huge in front of me. I was scared, so scared, to find out if Jared was really telling the truth or all of this was just a horrible joke. _Would it be like the movies – some bloodthirsty monster? Or, was it something I'd never seen before?_ I didn't think I could handle seeing Jared… abnormal.

It was a minute before I got the courage to peek through my hands. My bravery slipped out of me a half a second after seeing the beast, a beautiful dark honey color, full of chestnut, sitting like a dog where Jared had been not a moment before. I screamed tripping backwards on the root Jared had saved me from the first time. The moment I hit the ground, it whined and flattened itself to the ground. It drew its ears back and tried to make itself as small as possible.

I was breathing hard, waiting for an attack, but it never came. I was lost in its eyes, swirling with the same deep, darkness that Jared's did. "Jared?"

Its tail started to wag at my question and it inched forward, staying low to the ground. It came slowly, careful not the frighten me. I giggled because it was acting just like an enormous dog – it kind of looked like one too. This _werewolf_, as Jared had called it, was an abnormally large wolf. It came right up to my side and nudged me with his head and licked my hands.

My hand was shaking when I carefully patted its head, gulping when it showed me its teeth in, what I thought was, a big smile.

I withdrew my hand and clutched it to my chest. I closed my eyes tightly, muttering, "Can you become Jared again?"

I heard a low whimper, but it moved away from me, silently. There was another faint crack and a huge sigh. "Kim?"

My answer was to cover my eyes with a hand, as though to tell him to get dressed without saying anything. I didn't trust my voice. My nerves were shot and I was having trouble keeping my breathing calm.

After a moment, I felt Jared sit heavily next to me. We didn't say anything at first. He took my hand and gently traced my fingers with his. I was still shaking slightly, wondering if reality was having a fun joke or this was all a dream and I'd wake up in my bed, the day not even started yet.

"You can open your eyes," Jared murmured roughly. I wondered what he was thinking about and whether or not he took my reaction to be a good thing, or something out of his nightmares. I could understand why he waited so long to tell me.

"Are you still a wolf?" I croaked. I let him hold my hand; the heat was comforting – familiar.

There was a pause, Jared no doubt confused at my question. "No, I phased – "

He stopped himself and I sighed. There wasn't an explanation needed. "I'm not so sure if I want to open my eyes then."

He gripped my hand, squeezing it – not enough to hurt – but I knew he was worried, whether it was me or something he still needed to tell me. "There's more," he whispered.

I yanked my hand from him and whimpered. The tears were starting to burn my eyes, again. I held my head in my hands. I didn't think I could take more. My voice trembled as I said, "What more?"

"It's called imprinting," Jared said quietly. He didn't try and take my hand back. His voice was stressed. "It's how we find our soul mates."  
"How are you even possible?" I asked, partly to myself. I stopped, looking up wildly. "You mean there are more of you?"  
He paused, looking down at his hands. I know he didn't want to answer, but he knew if he didn't that would be an answer in itself. "Sam Uley's group."

I sighed, looking away from him. My head was going to explode. "And, how does this whole thing work? Can anyone just be – be a…?"

I couldn't say it, but he knew. "It's in our blood – genetic. The legend explains it all."

I didn't say anything, but hugged my knees, hiding my face. The forest was quiet and all I could hear was Jared's rough breathing.

"Kim," Jared said quietly. It was painful and I heard the sorrow in his voice. "I've imprinted on you."

My brain didn't process what he was saying. I looked up at him blankly. "What does that mean?"

He heaved a sigh, running a hand through his hair. He met my gaze, his eyes drawing me in again. He held me there, trapping me. I wanted to turn away. He wasn't hiding anything anymore, and it scared me.

"I – I've… you're my soul mate," he said quietly. His eyes danced and glowed so frothy from… I finally understood why it burned my soul so, that look he'd stare at me with that made me fuzzy and lightheaded. I didn't want him to say it. I couldn't take it. "I love you."

* * *

**author's note:** _How was this chapter? Good, bad, or ugly? Please, please tell me. Don't spare me; just tell me your thoughts. _

_How did you like the last chapter? Did you enjoy it or absolutely hate it? Confused?_

_What is this? A new Jacob for the movie New Moon? A new director?_

_Thank you for all the reviews I got last chapter. +60! I can't believe it. I'm in shock right now! Thank you so much!!_

_This is my last update for the year. I don't know about you, but Christmas and all the days around it are very busy for me. So, sometimes after the New Year, you'll get __the big __chapter I know you've all been waiting for. How early after the New Year is up to you guys – depending on the amount of reviews I get for this telling me what you thought. I'm going crazy! I'm so anxious to hear what you all thought. _

_So, please _**review!!**

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_

_**HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!**_


	19. Chapter Seventeen: Fairytale

_Playlist_: _The Curious Case of Benjamin Button soundtrack. If you haven't seen the movie yet, I highly suggest it. It's a fabulous film – especially if you can relate to it like I could. _

Chapter Seventeen – Fairytale:

_happiness – (noun) the quality or state of being happy, good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy_

_**Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love – Albert Einstein**_

When I was little, my sister and I were obsessed with the Disney princess movies. We'd watch them over and over and over again, making ball gowns and trailing dresses out of bed sheets. Our crowns were made out of paper and glitter. We were constantly dreaming of our prince charmings.

Anna had always loved Cinderella, where the fairy god mother watched over her. She liked the idea of all dreams coming true. My favorite was the Little Mermaid. Ariel had a forbidden love and it was all so romantic. She sacrificed everything to make her wishes come true and, in the end, it all paid off.

The one I hated the most was Beauty and the Beast. It had scared me, the beast was terrifying. He was a monster, selfish and depressed. Though, as I got older, I became fonder of it, realizing that it didn't matter who she was in love with, but the story of it all. The priceless part being Belle overcoming her fear to love the beast for whom he was, not what he looked like.

While I may not be Beauty, couldn't this story apply to what was happening right now, in my life with my prince charming? Belle could look past her beast's faults, why couldn't I? Hadn't I been claiming that I'd love him regardless?

Maybe it was something to do with the beast being a part of Jared. Jared wasn't cursed; it wasn't his outer shell, so this enchanted spell wasn't going to go away anytime soon. This _was_ a part of him. Was I scared because he was scary? Could I love his beast? Did he only love me because of this_ imprinting_ business?

"_Imprinting just gives me a push in the right directing,"_ he had said.

A push? So, without the push, I'd still be sitting in English class, wishing with all my heart that he'd spare me a glance? Would I still be making up fantasies of him saying my name?

That didn't seem right. That couldn't be love.

"_Please Kim, I love you…"_

I'd waited years for that. I'd waited for the day he'd return the love that I willingly gave him. But, instead of it being true love, it was manipulated love. Without the "imprinting," he'd still be clueless to my existence. _Right?_

Why couldn't I be in love with a normal boy?

His touch had burned me when he tried to keep me from leaving, holding onto me so I wouldn't disappear. His kiss on my cheek still ached where he'd let go. I felt nauseas thinking about it. I missed him. I felt like I'd lost something. He'd stolen apart of be away that I would never get back.

Did I really want a normal guy? Wouldn't I want someone daring and not afraid to put himself out there for me? Wouldn't I want a guy to stand up for me and believe in me, even though I didn't? Wouldn't I want a boy who looked past the social latter and past _my_ faults?

I took a deep breath, shuttering. I hugged my knees to my chest, afraid that I'd fall apart if I didn't physically hold myself together.

I wanted to cry. It was sickening that I was so blind and so selfish. Why couldn't I accept that all dreams come true, even if they're not in the form of how you want them? It didn't matter what Jared was or what he did or what he said, I'd always feel this way. I'd always…

This feeling was so powerful, so eye opening that all I could do was sit stunned on my bed. I wanted to curl up and hide from the feeling, but it was too wonderful not to embellish in.

_So this is what it feels like_, I wondered, pulling the blanket over me. I hugged myself, grinning in the dark. I was so scared, but so wonderfully happy.

_To be in love_, I thought, trying to keep my breathing regular. I was on the verge of hyperventilating and it seemed that this momentarily infinite wave of emotion was crushing my chest.

The next thing I knew, I was sobbing, pressing my face to my pillow and bawling my eyes out, crying because I was so scared of what to come. What did I do now?

_He loves me…_ The thought was frightening and new, something I had wanted for so long, but wasn't ready for. I'd never known that this was what love felt like. I never knew it was so open and aching. I was vulnerable – anything he did or said could break my heart. Yet, I was willing to put myself in this situation because the euphoria he caused was enough to make me strive and do anything to keep myself in the high.

"Wow", I said to the silence_,_ rolling on my back, grinning into the ceiling again. _He loves me…_

I started to laugh. _And I love him…_

- -

He wasn't at school the next day. I was disappointed that it was only Jenny that was at my locker, only Jenny who sat with me at lunch, _only Jenny_ who asked if I was OK. She asked where I'd been yesterday, but that only made me run to the bathroom because I felt like I was going to puke up all the panic, truth, and nerves that were tearing my insides up.

She didn't bring it up again, but wandered next to me while I fluttered around, hoping that maybe I'd missed him in the crowd and he'd suddenly materialize.

"You can talk to me if you need to," Jenny whispered after school. I wasn't in a hurry to leave school. I'd hoped that he'd come and get make up work, or just _be there_ because I needed him there.

"Yeah, I know," I said to her, giving her a weak smile. She wasn't convinced either.

Once in the car, I thumped my head on the steering wheel and started to cry. It was then that I let myself feel the hopelessness I'd been feeling all day. His thoughts were probably not in my favor and it scared me because I didn't want him thinking that his friendship hadn't been the best thing ever to happen to me since Jenny came along, and that I hadn't felt freed by his enlightened thinking, random trips to the beach, and that dimple…

I didn't want him thinking and I didn't love him.

I wanted him to smile at me, or hold my hand because the world was right when he did. When he wasn't around, I felt the gaping hole where he should have been and sometimes he was so vast that I lost myself in it.

He probably hated me now.

When I got home, my mom was already outside, rushing towards me with her cup of coffee and her hair starting to come out of her severe bun.

"I'm late!" she said, practically pushing me out of the way. She drove away before I could even get a word in. Watching her leave, it was times like those that I wished that my mom and I had that type of relationship where I could actually go to her for advice. I wondered if she truly knew what to do, now that the love of my life probably wanted nothing to do with me.

I whimpered, trying to hold in my tears. My heart was crumbling away. I was always waiting for something or someone to turn my life around, to make it run where I dreamed of it going, but, as it was, right when I did get my fairy tale ending, I screwed it up. When I'd finally dug myself out of the hole I was living in, I jumped right back into it.

I didn't bother turning on my light when I moseyed into my room, throwing my backpack and slumping on my bed. Something about total darkness was comforting. It was shield that blanketed me from my worst fears and utter nightmares. It gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, I would wake up and none of this would have happened yet and I could start over. I never would have let Jared let me run away and I wouldn't have watched his face crumble in on itself when I didn't say anything to his wonderful, _"I love you…"_

I curled myself into a ball and sobbed, hoping that my heart would stay together – or come back. It hadn't felt like it was in my chest anymore.

- -

I had drifted off on my bed. The clock flashed sometime past midnight. I groaned and sat up. My hair was sticking to the side of my face and my eyes were crusty from crying. I tried to lick my lips, to keep them from cracking with each breath, but it felt like I had cotton balls in my mouth.

I didn't think about anything and I didn't try to. I wanted to stay numb. I was floating somewhere between reality, working only on auto pilot. I stood up, wobbling slightly, before stripping my coat off and jeans. There was something gross about sleeping in jeans. My legs seemed to itch. The house was quiet and still, a sign that no one was awake. It was warm in the house and I felt slightly feverish, I didn't want pants on. I didn't think the shadows or the creaks of the floor would mind.

Waiting for my glass to fill, I almost dropped it when a big, dark shadow flashed outside the window. I froze, trying to keep my breathing steady. Just passing clouds or a stray branch, _right?_

My mind started to race, but I forced myself to stay calm. I patted quickly and quietly to my room, think if I got the door closed; no monsters of the night could harm me there. I didn't worry about the soft drips of water swishing out of my glass onto the hardwood floor, intent on getting to my room as quickly as possible.

I stopped, suspended in time, staring at a dark, looming figure in my doorway. I dropped my glass and started to scream, but the figure was too quick for me, catching the glass and clamping a hand to my mouth before a sound could be heard. The board that always squeaked when touched, didn't utter a sound when the stranger came towards me, faster than I knew to be possible.

I was slammed against the hallway wall with a thump. I tried to kick out, but the stranger held me closer, gently holding me still.

"Kim," he whispered in my ear. His head moved to look down the hallway, for someone to come to my rescue. When no one did, he turned back to me, muttering in my ear, "Please, it's me Kim!"  
The panic was blinding. My stomach churned and I only kicked harder at the sound of my name. _How did he know my name?_

_I'm going to die, _I thought.

"Kim, it's just me!" The man stroked my cheek and ran a strong hand gently through my hair, trying to calm me. He shushed me quietly on my cheek. "Just me…"

I froze, slumping against the wall. My eyes widen. I was pressed against a bare chest, abnormally hot. The scent of his skin filled my head like a heady fog, meddling with my thoughts. His strong hold kept my weak knees from collapsing. I recognized that voice.

He dropped his hand from my mouth when he noticed my screams had stopped. My stomach flopped to the floor. The suddenly of adrenaline pulsed out of my veins and I was left feeling stupid and out of breath.

"Jared?"

He pulled away from me, walking backwards until the opposite wall touched his back and he slumped to the ground, noiselessly. His face was still in shadow, but I noticed his eyes flash shut tightly, like he was suffering from a headache. He wasn't wearing anything expect for some twinge and a pair of basketball pants that seemed like they would fall away any minute. I'd never seen such a worn out pair of pants.

"Jared?" I asked breathlessly again, sliding down the wall. The floor was cool under my, now, heated skin. I was in shock. _What in the name of my Aunt Sally is he doing here? _

He sat with his head in his hands. I could hear his rough breathing. He looked up suddenly, holding my gaze for a moment, before his eyes flickered over me and then he turned his head away and averted his eyes – as though to give me privacy, to show he was really a gentleman.

I flushed, realizing I still wasn't wearing pants. I felt the need to explain myself. "I was hot…"

He nodded and I sighed, thinking, _thank god I'm not a fan of butt floss…_

"I'm sorry, I'll just – just go," he muttered suddenly, getting up faster than I could and running into my bedroom without a sound.

I followed him, making more noise than I should have and watched his figure disappear out the window. I was about to follow him, to call him back, but I noticed I still didn't have pants on. I slipped on my sweats and carefully patted to the window.

I hesitantly leaned out, scared of the dark and the creatures of the night, yet more afraid that Jared had left. I was about to call out, but I didn't have to though. I caught movement under the window and there he sat, head in his hands under my window sill. There were bushes on either side of him, concealing him if someone would pass on the street.

He titled his head slightly to the side, as though he heard me.

I didn't know what to say, so I leaned on the window, taking slow breaths and letting the night breeze cool my fever.

"I'm sorry," I heard him mutter hoarsely. He didn't move. "I didn't mean to scare you. You weren't in your bed and I just…"

"It's fine," I said, filling the gap. I ran a hand through my hair, not quite believing myself. I found wetness on my tears and I wiped them away angrily. "I was surprised, is all. I don't mind that – that you're here."  
He didn't say anything. He shifted like he was going to leave. Panic rushed through my system and I didn't think twice. I climbed out my window and plopped beside him in the bushes, yelping slightly at the awkward angle I landed in. Hastily righting myself and brushing the branches out of my face, I quickly curled my arm around his, as thought this would hold him in place.

He watched me before leaning slightly into me. "It's caught," he whispered, gently pulling my hair from the branches.

I sat still, trying to breath normally while he pressed against me. It was erotic and new, this feeling – sensation. I didn't quite know what to do with the sudden courage and determination and _love._ This attraction combined with closeness gave me a new kind of heat that he wasn't necessarily providing.

He leaned away, though I felt him shift so he was closer to me. I sighed, leaning my head on his arm. It was comfortable in our little bush cave. It was as though the world couldn't see us and confessions were allowed because in this air, only the ones meant to hear them would.

"I'm sorry," Jared breathed, looking pained. His body shivered, and he looked away from me. "I didn't mean to scare you."

There was a double meaning to his words. I didn't know what to say to that, especially to the first time because it wasn't okay, so I avoided it. I started blurting out my questions, the speed aided with my racing heart. "I couldn't find you at school today. You weren't there. Why weren't you there? I waited for you. I'm glad you're here, though. Why are you here?"

He hesitated, before lifting his head. He was frowning, looking even more restless than usual. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I – I didn't want to call unless your dad picked up."

He wasn't answering my questions fast enough. I had so many needing answers. I had so many things to tell him. I shifted so I was sitting cross-legged with my side against the house, watching his profile. "Why weren't you at school? What are you doing here?"

He paused again, staring me for a moment before he looked down at his hands. "I had… things that needed to be taken care of."

I took a shaky breath, trying to shift closer to him. I craved his closeness. "Werewolf stuff?"  
He seemed surprised by my bluntness, but nodded none the less. He watched me again, only there was a chilling sadness in his gaze and it felt hollow from what it used to be.

"What are you doing here?" I asked again, feeling impatient. My heart thudded in my ears. _He was there, right there… I love you…_

He watched me a moment longer before down casting his eyes, as though ashamed of some foreign weakness. It took him a moment, without a word, before he shifted so he was sitting cross-legged facing me. Our knees touched, sending chills up my legs. He leaned forward slightly and carefully took my left hand, tracing my fingers delicately. I shivered from his presence – his touch, my breathing irregular, smiling quietly to myself that _he was there…_

I swayed slightly; bursting from the overwhelming sensations and feelings I had growing… _I was going to explode._

His dark outline was still, just holing my hand tightly now, watching me unwaveringly. His hair was disheveled, bits of leaves and twigs floating around in the darkness. "I have to talk to you."

I waited for him to continue, but he didn't. "About what?"

He frowned, a crease formed on his brow. His eyes were burning holes in me. "I'm sorry about – about what happened. I know that wasn't the best way to tell you. I see that now. Paul was being an idiot, and it was all my fault… He hasn't been happy with you lately, and I knew that! I just… I didn't know he'd go to such an extreme."

I shrugged. I felt over what had happened. I'd already figured out how to move forward, so it wasn't an obstacle or problem standing in my way anymore.

"I'm sorry," he said again. His voice was soft, achingly so. I shivered from the sound. "I just want you to know that I do love you, but – but I don't expect you to say it back or return _any_ of my feelings. I don't want you to say it just because you feel obliged. I just – I want you to be _happy_. If that means without me, then - then your wish is my command."

I was frozen, shaking from his words. _Without him? No... I don't think I could take that. _"I don't want you to leave."

He nodded slowly; his eyes still hooded over, voice low. "I'm fine with just being your friend, you know."

"I don't want to be your friend," I blurted out. I clapped my hand to my mouth, and watched his eyes close tightly, like he was taking a physical blow, before he exhaled and slowly opened them. His eyes were dark and shadowed. My heart just about broken in two.

"I'll go," he muttered quietly, leaning violently away from me. He started to stand, but got caught in the bush.

"No!" I said, quickly grabbing his hand to keep him seated. "No, don't leave! That's not – "

"I get it, Kim," he said. I almost retracted from the coldness of his tone, the defeat.

I yanked on his arm, trying to pull him back to me, although it had no effect. "No, you – "

He sunk back down, causing me to be pushed against the side of the house. His eyes trapped me, smoldering in the darkness. "It's fine, Kim. I shouldn't have – "

"I love you!" I shouted, throwing my hands into the air. I took deep, ragged breaths, watching him watch me. There was sudden release of the built up presser, an instant release. It was out in the world now, _finally._

It was still, silent. He was frozen, eyes wide. I saw the small vulnerable side of him then, his thick guard dropped from his expression. He took a deep breath, leaning closer to me. His eyes flashed something familiar, missed but not lost.

"Is that why you write my name in your notebook?"

I gasped, mortified, releasing him like he'd burned me. My cheeks blushed deeply and I hid my face in my hands. "You did see it," I whispered.

He chuckled freely, the grip no longer holding him down. I felt him curl one of my curls around his finger. He was so close, _so close,_ and watching me – always watching. I felt so shy, so open and defenseless. The moment was so intimate that I wanted to instinctively back away from it. The energy created was so overwhelming, so deep and thorough that I couldn't breathe.

He was grinning softly, eyes glowing, _happy_ and, maybe even, relieved. I felt his hot breath on my face. "I like to know you think about me as much as I think about you."

I didn't get a chance to answer. I was jerk forward by his hand gently cupping the back of my neck, practically pulled right into his lap, and I was crushed against his lips. I went slack, leaning into him. There were no fireworks or stars, only sweltering heat, stomach somersaulting, and mind numbing sensations that left me breathless and floating higher than I'd ever been before.

It was not a gentle kiss like the first kiss should have been, but hard and demanding, _needy._ He held me close to him, tasting me slowly, savoring every noise, every feeling.

My instincts guided me into the kiss, so I never feared of being horrible or bad. I was just lost in his taste and feel. There was nothing in my world, until that very moment that felt like if I just died on the spot, there and then, that I would have felt that I died blissfully happy and fulfilled. I didn't think anything could top that moment.

It was too soon when Jared pulled away. He was breathing hard and irregular, eyes dilated and wild. I wasn't capable of thoughts yet, and slightly swayed trying to remember how to breath. I was smiling like a loon.

We didn't say anything. He leaned forward until his forehead rested on mine, before tracing my jaw line with his lips, and then traveling down my neck, leaving sweet kisses as he went.

He didn't have to say anything. A sense of understanding settled around us that words wouldn't be able to express. I murmured something unintelligible, whimpering quietly as he getting kissed the hollow base of my throat. It was all happening so fast. But, it felt right. This is what I had been waiting for my whole life.

"I love you…"

I could feel it.

* * *

**author's notes:** _As promised. I wrote it many times before realizing that it would be corny no matter how many times I wrote it. Hopefully it wasn't sickening. Maybe fluffy and sweet? _

_I want to apologize for any mistakes. I'm on a time limit. If you point them out, I'll be happy to change them. _

_Hope everyone had a good New Year. Mine was unexpectedly nice. _

_I do have a little HP one-shot I posted over break. If anyone is interested, please check it out. _

_I have a couple questions: Did you like this chapter? What are you expecting from this story? (Keep in mind that is this really curiosity and that my plans might not match up with yours.)_

_As some of you have found out, I'm not as heartless and mean as I may seem –some of you seem very hesitant to ask me things or talk to me. Please know that I won't hate you or be offended or get angry if you ask me for advice, general questions, or if I could read your story. I'm really not all evil and, actually, I'm really flattered when you PM with questions that you think I might have an answer for. Some of them are compliments in disguise and I really do appreciate them. _

_I do review every story I read. Keep in mind that if you do ask me to read your story that you're ready for a nice, long, maybe detailed, review with compliments and, really, constructive criticism. I don't believe in flames – that's unnecessary meanness. Knowing myself and my own stories, most authors want the feedback/advice when asking for reviews. I'm sorry if I assume wrong. Please don't get offended. If I tell you, "oh you had some spelling mistakes," don't jump to the conclusion that I hated it. If I took the time to read it, I usually liked it enough to finish it, yeah? _

_Btw – Thank you for reading my story. I really do appreciate you all for keeping up with it and looking forward to updates and all those kind of things. It really warms my heart when I get such positive feedback. You guys are really the best. _

_You know the drill – tell me everything you hated/liked about this chapter in a _**REVIEW!!**

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses _


	20. Chapter Eighteen: At Last

_Playlist: My boyfriend is big into the blues and he's loaned me all these CD's (yes, I know. CD's! No downloading necessary.) So, Stevie Ray Vaughan is my favorite. _

Chapter Eighteen – At Last:

_Indulgence – (noun) yielding to somebody's wish; something allowed as a luxury; tolerant attitude_

My alarm was loud in my ears, just like it was every morning. It was unusually early though. It had felt as though I only had gotten a few hours of sleep and I'd been up all –

I sat up quickly, too quickly, and felt the blood pulse in my ears. My eyes blurred and I had to blink a few time before I could gage my surroundings. I guess it was disappointment bubbling in my stomach when I noticed I was alone.

The last thing I had remembered was falling asleep in strong arms and the lap of my favorite infatuation. We hadn't moved from the bush cave under the window when our secrets were voiced, but enjoying being close and entangled with the confessions that night. I blushed, realizing that Jared had probably had to _carry_ me through the _window_. How embarrassing.

I slumped against the chill of the morning and brought the covers up to my shoulders, too lazy to get out of bed. My eyes were droopy and my head was starting to feel thick…

I sighed loudly, sliding myself out of bed when I heard my mom move around on the stairs. The last thing I needed was her yelling at me so early in the morning.

It wasn't until I stood and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, hanging on my closet door, that I realized that I hadn't changed my clothes since the morning before, and hadn't had a shower since the night before last. My eyes were puffy from lack of sleep, big bags drooped under them, and my hair was plastered to one side of my face.

"No wonder he left…" I mumbled on my way to the bathroom. I couldn't blame Jared for leaving when I was such a mess. I shivered feeling nasty.

"Who left?"

I swirled around, heart racing, to find Anna leaning in her doorway. She had her hair in neat braids, but she wasn't dressed yet. Panic rose in my throat. I didn't know how to lie to her, so I changed the subject. "I'm taking a shower."

She frowned. It obviously wasn't the answer she was expecting. She nodded, looking confused. "Yeah, that's fine."

I started to walk away, thinking that maybe I had gotten away without telling her anything vital, before she stopped me.

"I heard voices last night. Did you?"

I didn't have to turn and see her face to know she knew something was up. There was a smirk in her voice. I should have known she was too quick to miss my lame attempt at lying.

"Didn't have anyone over did you, Kimmy?" She was smiling slyly. My stomach flopped nervously.

"No," I snorted, trying to be nonchalant. "It's _me_, Anna. Did you?"

Her smile faded slightly, maybe rethinking her assumptions. I closed the door before she could answer, leaning on it with a sigh. _How did Anna know everything?_

It was during my shower that I realized that I had a big problem waiting for me at school. How did you tell your best friend that the guy you'd been fawning over for years was actually a werewolf that imprinted on you and, is now, completely in love with you because of the magic that, said best friend, tried to tell you the day before the big reveling and you'd called crazy and impossible?

You didn't, that's how.

I dressed slowly, hoping to prolong the moment and maybe come up with an excuse of why I didn't show up to school, answer my phone (which I hadn't noticed until then that had four missed calls), and that would explain the reason why Jared and I were –

I frowned. What were Jared and I? He hadn't said anything about being anything other than friends, but we'd made it pretty clear to each other that we didn't want to stay that way. Did I assume things changed, or did something else need to happen? I mean, it wasn't as though I'd had a boyfriend before. I didn't know how these things worked.

"Kim! Mom says you'll be late if you don't come down now!"

I shook my head and quickly ran down stairs, flinging by backpack over my shoulder as I went.

"Here," my mom said, handing me the keys and my lunch. "Don't forget to eat something and have a good day!"

I grabbed an apple, still thinking and scared about my non-existent lies. I waved to her, noticing she was looking at me rather suspiciously.

I shook my head again, going back to my problems. I could always deal with my mom later when my world wasn't going to fall apart. I guess I'd been expecting everything to change when my dreams came true. I thought my parents would put aside their differences and like Jared, Jenny would stop worrying and understand, and my life would suddenly stop and everything would be just Jared and I. There wasn't supposed to be anything other than that – no school, no work, no problems…

-

I saw Jared's truck in the parking lot when I got to school. He was sitting on the side of the truck bed, a foot on the rear tire, and his elbow resting on his knee. Paul was leaning on the side of the truck next to him, scanning the parking lot every couple minutes. It seemed like they were waiting for someone. It didn't occur to me that it was me they were waiting for until Paul's eyes locked on my figure, smile fading and growing quiet, and Jared turned to look over his shoulder, maybe knowing I was there.

My stomach rolled and a grin spread on my face. It was odd, this feeling. I was wanted. People were looking forward to my arrival. I didn't know quite what to do with this new information, so I grinned and walked towards them.

I tried not to shiver when Paul watched me impassively. It was unnerving that I couldn't pick his mood. Had he forgiven me? Was he still angry? Should I be worried?

"And here she is," Jared muttered. He hopped off the truck and leaned in, kissing my cheek slowly, savoring the contact. I wasn't expecting such a sudden response from him. I smiled shyly, blushing deeply. "You kept us waiting."

"Sorry," I said breathlessly. My heart was racing, and I shivered, overwhelmed. "I – I was tired this morning."

Jared grinned harder, his dimple showing, before giving me a wink that made me blush again.

"I was wondering if I could – uh – talk to you before school started," Paul mumbled quietly from my right.

I tore my eyes away from Jared. Paul wasn't looking at me, but the ground. His hands were in his jean pockets and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. _Nervous_, I decided, choking down the dread and fear.

"Yeah," I said. I remembered my mom always telling me to face my fear, and then the fear would fade. I shouldn't have been afraid of Paul. I took a deep breath. "Sure."

I followed Paul, giving a glance over my shoulder to Jared. He watched me coolly. I tried giving him confident smile, but it didn't come out right.

We didn't move very far from Jared. Paul glanced over at him, as though to make sure it was still fine that he was doing this, before clearing his throat and stuffing his hands in his pockets again.

I noticed a faint bruise around his eye. His right cheekbone was slightly puffy, too. Looking more closely, I noticed marks along his jaw line and one disappearing under his shirt on his neck. "Are you okay?" I blurted out before I could stop it.

He looked confused, as though he should have been asking me that, but he nodded anything. "Why?"

I pointed to my own cheek. "You have some bruises it looks like."

He stared at me for a moment, before glancing at Jared again. "Uh – rough night."

I watched him rub the back of his neck before he took a deep breath. "Look, I'm really sorry about what I said to you the other day. I really didn't mean to – to make you cry or… I just – see, I'm…"

He fumbled for the words for his apology. I waited patiently, not really believing that _Paul _was actually apologizing. He wasn't always the "give me your lunch money" type guy, but he didn't like admitting is wrong either. His confidence was glowing and apparent with everything he did, so when he was forced to come down from his high pedestal, he didn't do it willing most of the time.

He sighed, his whole body rising before sinking with his long exhale. His eyes stayed on the ground, head bowed in his shame. "I'm really sorry, Kim. I shouldn't have done that. It was my fault – I was really angry at Jared and I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

I smiled, feeling warmed by his words. It was amazing how easily it was to forgive with such an apology. "It's okay. All is forgotten."

He smiled weakly at me before rubbing the back of his neck again. "I know Jared's going to ask you this, but we're having a BBQ at the Little House this weekend. I think you should come and meet the guys."

I was taken back from Paul's invitation, but smiled none the less. "Thanks Paul," I said sincerely. "I'd love to."

He nodded, avoiding my eyes. He cleared his throat awkwardly and shifted on his feet again. "Well – uh – maybe we should get to class then…"

He walked away, giving me a weak smile over his shoulder. He disappeared into the school with another glance at Jared, who had watched him go with a strange expression on his face. I walked slowly up to him where he was still leaning on his truck.

"What?" I asked when he didn't say anything. He was staring at me, a soft look in his eyes.

He shrugged, taking my hand. "Did he apologize?"

"Did you make him?" I countered. There was a slight mark under Jared's eye, too. I didn't know if I should really forgive Paul if he was made to apologize. I don't think a sorry had the same effect if the person wasn't so willing to give into it.

He didn't answer, but looked guilty. He squeezed my hand. "He should have."

"Would he without your help?" I asked. I felt small. Maybe even a little stupid.

He thought for a minute before nodding. "He was sorry. He just wasn't going to apologize until this morning. I mean, his thoughts were still – "

"Thoughts? How did you know what he was thinking?" I interrupted. I assumed he was exaggerating, guessing that Paul had been sorry. This didn't make me feel any better.

Jared paused, before running a hand through his hair. "Can I take you out tonight? Although I've told you most of it, there's still a lot you don't know about – about me."

"Can't we talk now?" I asked impatiently. I didn't like the idea that I still didn't know what was going on. I didn't like being ignorant Kim.

He shook his head, glancing around. "Too many people to overhear."

I frowned, letting him lead me into the school. Overhear what? Was it something just as… surprising as him turning into a wolf at will? "After school then," I said, tugging on his arm. I squeezed his hand unconsciously.

"Whatever you wish," he said huskily, smiling at me. I felt my toes curl. The warmth in my chest glowed for a moment, giving me a flashback to the night before.

We were quiet for a moment. He played with my fingers while his nose traced my jaw. I tried to breathe regularly and not get shaky or weak knees. The last thing I needed was fainting in front of the school. That would be even worse that trying to explain why Jared was –

"Jenny," I muttered pulled away. I took a deep breath. Maybe Jared would know what to do. He hadn't said anything about keeping his werewolf secret a secret. Though, I don't think that was something he wanted spread around.

"What about her?" he said tightly. He leaned in again, touching my cheek with his lips, his hot breath tickling my skin, but I pulled away, needing all my brain power.

"What do I say to her?" I asked quietly. I noticed we were the only ones outside. "Maybe we should start heading to class."

He growled lowly, as though I wasn't supposed to hear and it was just personal complaint. He tugged me into the school and down the hallway and up the stairs before saying anything to my question. I didn't bring it up before then, feeling as though Jenny still wasn't one of his favorite topics.

Right before we turned down another hallway leading to the history hall, he stopped and turned back to me. "You can't tell her anything I've told you. But, you could just make up something. What did you tell your mom?"

"My mom?" I asked confused. "Why would I tell her anything?"

His eyebrows rose a little in surprise. "Well, you skipped that day I told you, didn't you? The school calls home when you skip class without a reason. Didn't she say anything to you?"

I felt numb. I hadn't been paying much attention these last couple days, but surely she'd bring something up like that, wouldn't she? Or, had she just not checked the messages?

"OK," Jared said after I didn't say anything. He ran a hand through his hair. "You could fake it and say you were sick or got up too late to make it to school or homework was just a pain in the ass…"

"I didn't answer my phone and I didn't give her any reason yesterday. I think she just left me alone because I looked like I was going to be sick or something…" I trailed off. "Maybe I should just fake an illness."

"What are you going to tell your mom?" Jared asked quietly. He looked worried and maybe a little guilty. After all, it had been his fault I'd skipped.

I looked sadly up at him, sighing. "She hates you. I don't think it would be a good idea to tell her that I played hooky because I found it more important to talk to you than learn," I said wirily.

He nodded. "Well, don't say anything before she does. If she hasn't read the message, you can always delete it before she does. And Jenny, well, tell her anything she'll believe. We're not suppose to tell anyone expect our imprints."

My stomach flopped. I was Jared's… _imprint._ It was such a strange word with such strange feelings. Did all imprints feel like this or was it just me? Wait, was I the only imprint?

I opened my mouth the ask Jared, but I decided against it. Instead, I filed it in my 'ask later today' folder and said, "I'll think of something. She can't be that mad at me, yeah?"

He didn't say anything, but raised his eyebrows as in a way to say, 'You know best.'

I hoped I was right.

As I walked in the door to my first period, about a second before the bell rang, I instantly regretted not coming up with a valid excuse. Jenny was sitting in her desk, angled towards the door, and glaring so fiercely the saying, 'if looks could kill,' ran through my head. I'd never seen her so angry before.

My breathless smile slide off my face and I gave her a weak wave. Her eyes followed me to my seat as I collapsed into it, getting out my notebook and some pens. I tried not to look at her, but realized only guilty people did that. So, I forced myself to glance at her every couple minutes and try my best to smile at her like nothing was out of the ordinary.

Her expression didn't change, but her eyes got stormier as the period went on. When the bell rang, she slammed her book shut and stomped over to me, pushing people out of the way.

"Where have you _been?"_ she hissed. She stopped me from putting my books in my bag, glaring at me.

I gulped, trying to not run away from the look she was giving me. I stood then, taking a deep breath, determined to handle this. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," she gridded through her teeth, "Why did you miss a day? Why are you so – so _moody?_ Why didn't you meet me at your locker? Why are you so late!?"

I leaned away from her, slinging my bag over my shoulder. I felt very, very small even though I was an inch taller than Jenny. "I – I woke up late," I said pathetically.

Her eyes flashed and she whipped around, storming out of the class. I followed her, catching her arm before she turned into her second period. "Please Jenny," I said weakly. "Don't hate me."

"I don't hate you," she sighed, still glaring at me. "I'm just mad at you."

"For what? Being tired?" I asked. My temper was rising, but I reminded myself to stay cool about this. It was stupid to get worked up over a lie.

"Of course not!" she said. "God no, I'm mad at you because you won't trust me! I know you're lying."

I just about peed myself. It seemed like my problems would never end. "Why – why would you think that?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're horrible at lying, Kim. Please, sleeping late? You were almost hysterical yesterday! Looking for Jared – I know this has something to do with him!"

"I just slept late," I muttered, shifting out of the way for people passing us to get into the classroom. "It was already late in the afternoon and I figured it would be a waste of time to – to go to school. Don't tell my mom though. She – she doesn't know."

Jenny looked puzzled. "Why?"

Why was this so hard? Can't lying to your best friend be easier? I mean, if lying wasn't bad enough, the guilt of it all would kill you. "I didn't ask her if I could stay home. I just – I don't want her to be mad at me. She's already mad about Jared."

"Jared?"

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I kept digging myself a deeper hole! "She thinks he's a bad kid or something. I don't really… know the details."

_Lie, lie, lie, lie…_ When would I be able to tell something true?

"Oh," Jenny muttered. She frowned, dropping her gaze to her feet. "You've just been acting so weird lately. I thought surely you were – I don't know."

"It's fine," I said smiling at her, glad it was all over. I looked down that hall to where my class was. "I've been – uh – having that time of month. I guess my emotions are just kind of… out of whack, you know?"

I was mentally slapping myself, trying to keep my mouth talking, thinking that maybe if I rambled it would make itself true. Jenny seemed to believe it, nodding along with my words.

"Oh," she said again. "Oh, well, yeah."

There was an awkward pause and I shifted down the hallway slowly, trying to make my exit before I had to lie to her again. "I'm going to be late. See you at lunch?"

She nodded, turning around into her classroom. She looked confused and maybe a little embarrassed that she overreacted about a period that didn't exist.

I ran down the hallway, barely making it in time before the bell rang. I don't know how I made it because that was definitely the longest five minutes of my life. I sighed, feeling the effects of the stress. I was surprised I was still alive. Surely, I would have had a heart attack by then. Or, maybe being struck by god for being such a horrible friend. I felt sick knowing I'd lied so much to Jenny.

"How do you do it?" I asked Jared in third period.

He frowned, looking down at his paper. "Circle the periodic sentences?"

I shook my head impatiently. "No," I said quietly, leaning closer to him so no one would overhear. "How do you lie so well?"

He chuckled, scooting his chair closer to me. "It doesn't bother me that much. I figure if it's not for my selfish gain it can't be that bad, yeah? I'm protecting my pack when I don't tell my mom or other friends."

"So," I muttered, frowning. "You don't feel guilty about saying a lie?"

He shrugged, glancing over at the teacher. "It won't hurt anyone by not telling them I'm killing vampires in my spare time."

I stared blankly at him. It sounded like he said… "Huh?"

His eyes got wide and his expression became nervous. "Oh, uh… I haven't told you that yet."

"What are you talking about?" I whispered, leaning closer to him. "You mean you – "

"Don't worry about it," he said hastily. He glanced at the teacher again. "I'll tell you later, I promise."

I sighed, leaning back in my chair. Maybe wanting to know more about Jared was a bad idea. All the supernatural stuff was starting to get to me. What other fictional characters would come to life?

"Hey Jared?" I asked, feeling another question burn in my stomach. He looked up from his worksheet that we were supposed to be working on. I was nervous, but my curiosity burned brighter. "What are we?"

He looked confused. "What are we?"

"Like, are we… you know." I waved my hands as though to fill the gap. My cheeks burned with what I was suggesting.

"Human?" he said smiling. "Well, I'm not, but you are, yeah."

I hit his shoulder, looking around to make sure no one was watching me make a fool out of myself. "No, are we, I don't know, a couple?"

He watched me for a moment before asking, "Are we?"

I looked away from him, playing with my hands in my lap nervously. "I – I want to be."

I jumped at the feeling of him pulling his chair right up against his. He put an arm around the back of the chair and smiled into my hair, making me blush in embarrassment. _In front of everyone!_

"Good," he mumbled into my ear. He kissed my cheek and I tried not to faint. Life seemed too perfect sometimes that it was scary.

The teacher eventually told Jared to move respectively back to his space at the table and to act professional in the work place. He didn't talk back to out loud, but his muttering was funny to listen too.

We didn't speak until the end of the period. He told me that he'd meet me at my house and we'd take his car somewhere to talk.

I nodded, grinning at him as he walked away. I was excited to be alone with him. I wasn't so sure about the information I still needed to learn, but I figured I could handle it. I did before, yeah?

Jenny was waiting for me in the cafeteria after fourth period for lunch. She had her lunch out and was already eating her carrot sticks.

"Hello," I greeted, sitting next to her. "How's it going?"

"You want to hang out after school?" she asked, watching me pull out my sandwich. "We haven't just hung out in a long time."

I hesitated, feeling the bubbling guilt and the wrath from god on my shoulders. I couldn't catch a break today. "I… can't."

She frowned, probing. "Why not?"

"I'm hanging out with Jared today," I muttered quietly. I stuffed PB&J in my mouth, hoping to keep the sick feeling in my stomach away.

"Oh," she said, putting down her carrots. "Oh, okay. Maybe another time then."

"We're – we're going out," I blurted out, staring at the table. I was too cowardly to look at her.

"Since when?" she asked loudly. I felt her hard gaze.

"Well, just… now," I muttered, taking another giant bit of sandwich. I glanced around, not being able to look at her. The guilt was terrible. I didn't think I would be able to survive this time.

She didn't say anything and I got worried. I looked up at her, but she was glaring at her own sandwich.

"Jenny?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked quietly. She looked hurt.

I sighed, putting my sandwich down. "I literally just confirmed it during third period."

She frowned and I realized I was being a little too truthful.

"I mean, I knew it was going to happen, but he kissed me yesterday, so I was just – uh – getting a confirmation."

"I thought you couldn't find him yesterday," she asked quietly. She looked up at me, an eyebrow quirked.

"He came to me," I mumbled. "And, well, it turns out he likes me too."

"Yeah, I guess knew that," she mumbled, biting into another carrot. She stared at the table moodily.

"You're not mad, are you?" I asked quietly. I didn't think I could take her being mad.

She shook her head, snorting. "Of course not. I'm just – I need time to get used to it."

"How about we hang out tomorrow," I suggested, changing the topic. "We can hang out at my house and watch a movie or something."

Jenny glanced up at me, a smile lighting her face. "Yeah," she said, nodding. "I'd like that."

I grinned back at her, taking a deep breath. My stomach knots were untangling and my world started to right itself. Everything was wrong when Jenny wasn't happy. I guess that proved how important she was to me.

* * *

**author's note:** _Does anyone else hate the ending? Forgive me; I'm in somewhat of a hurry and I can't think of a better place to stop. I know everyone likes long chapters, but I'm pretty sure if I kept going, it would come up around 30 pages and that would be just ridiculous. _

_Anyway, you know the drill. Tell me everything - the good, the bad, and the ugly. _

_Oh, and some encouragement, finals are next week for me. I'm pretty sure a review would be just lovely to have while I'm freaking out. ;)_

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_

**Curious: What is the weirdest slang term you use?**

**Ex: the Americans in Seattle use "sick" or "boss" for "awesome" and for falling down we say "you biffed it". When you win something or beat someone out you "owned" that person. We have like "emo" and "gothic" and "preppy" and "grunge" for different cliché.**

**I know English people say like "snogging" for making out. I have no idea what "bugger" is but I'm sure it's a swear word. ;)**

**So, what is the weirdest slang you use? I'd love to know…**


	21. Chapter Nineteen: Coffee Stains

**Note: **_**I just wanted to say (even if it is a little late) that OBAMA IS PRESIDENT!! Did anyone what the inaugural address? I did – actually my whole school did. For like the first two period, everything just stopped and everyone was trying to fit into the classrooms that had the TV working. I wish I had been there. Did you see all the people in DC? The energy was just radiating from the TV screen! It's kind of amazing how people have reacted to him taking office. **_

_**Anyway, enjoy my chapter. **_

* * *

Chapter Nineteen – Coffee Stains:

_Incoherent – (adj.) lacking clarity or organization; unable to express things clearly; not cohesive; out of phase_

I hurried to my car after school, not bothering to put my extra books in my locker like I usually did. I couldn't be at school anymore. My thoughts were at home where Jared was going to meet me, anticipating and lingered where I could only guess what would happen. I was scared of this new love, shaky with the whole idea of having a boyfriend, and embarrassed about my lack of experience. I was excited that

It took far too long to get out of the parking lot, but when I was finally on the main road, I grinned to myself, letting the butterflies have their full effect on me. Just the thought of seeing Jared was enough to make them dance the conga.

- -

My mother was waiting outside when I got home, sipping on her coffee. She had a newspaper under one arm and her purse in the other. Her stance, like she was standing guard, patrolling over what she owned and controlled. She trusted me so blindly that it got me thinking that maybe she has spies telling her everything that was going on where she wasn't.

"Hello Kimberly," she said hurriedly. She kissed me on the cheek and somehow was able to dribble coffee on my shirt in the process. "Oh, sorry, honey. Throw it in the wash and I'll make sure it won't stain. I'll see you in the morning."

I gaped after her, tugging on my shirt, thinking, _'Jared's coming and I have coffee on my shirt!'_

I ran inside, not bothering to give my own goodbye to her, and quickly rummaging around for a fresh shirt. It was after the third one that I pulled on that I was finally satisfied with how it looked. I nervously looked at myself in the mirror, wishing that I didn't look so ordinary or so rumpled. It seemed I was always a mess when Jared was involved.

I sat by the window, waiting for him to show. It didn't take long. His truck pulled up shortly after I sat down and he skipped up the porch steps, looking as anxious as I felt. Maybe he was just as scared as I was with all this unfamiliarity.

I took a deep breath and carefully walked to the door, fidgeting with my clothes and tugging on my hair. My butterflies were at it again and I smiled in my excitement.

"Hey Kim," Jared muttered quietly when I pulled open the door. He had his hands in his pockets, looking amazing in his dark blue, crewneck sweatshirt. He shifted on his feet restlessly.

I smiled at him shyly, giving him a small wave. I wasn't sure what to do. Everything I did or said sounded stupid. _Waving?_

"Hey," I said, stepping back to let him in. He wasn't in danger of being caught in my house until much later when the rest of the family came home. Besides, I thought that maybe him in my comfortable element might bring down my stress level. "Come in."

He watched me for a moment, staying where he was. The blue of his sweatshirt made his eyes glow, a rich chocolaty brown that made me shiver. He stepped forward, just as fast as the night before, faster than my eyes could keep up, and pulled me to him for hard kiss, making my knees quake. I made a pathetic whimper sound before blanking out, all mind function on auto pilot. All I was aware of was his a hand running down the back of my neck, another on my lower back, pressing me to him, his smell and taste and feel that was just Jared –

He pulled away, resting his forehead on mine, and I smiled, giggling. I could hardly breathe. I felt slightly loopy. My was stomach somersaulting, my head spinning.

"I've been waiting to do that all day," he whispered in my ear. I shivered from the husky sound, heating the pit in my stomach. He kissed my neck once before letting me go completely, taking a step back to grin at me, stuffing his hands back in his pockets.

I took a shaky breath, running a hand down my face as though it would cool my sudden fever. I could get used to this, I thought. If Jared was going to be doing that a lot, I might just be in heaven.

"I was thinking that, since it's going to rain, we could just hang out here," Jared mumbled, nodding to the kitchen. His hair was all disheveled, falling into his face handsomely. My stomach flopped. I wondered if I had done that.

I took another breath, still whirling from his kiss. "How – how do you know it's going to rain? The forecast said it was supposed to be somewhat sunny today."

He smirked, shaking his head with a breathy laugh. "They're always wrong. No, it smells like rain. I'm guessing maybe a couple hours?"

I frowned. I could always smell the rain right before a big storm, or while it was raining, but never that early. Maybe it was a werewolf thing. "You smell it?"

He tapped his nose, wandering into the kitchen. I followed him as he said, "I have better senses than a normal human."

"Oh," I said, rubbing my head. My questions started flickering and nag. "Is that the only thing you haven't told me yet?"

"Nah," he said, sliding onto one of the bar stools at the island counter, across from the stove. His eyes watched me, calculating. "There's a lot I still have to tell you."

I waited for him to continue, but he just watched me. There was an odd expression on his face, maybe reluctance? "Well, do you want something to eat while we talk?"

He grinned, his eyes lighting up. "That's a dangerous question, Kim. The answer is always yes."

I laughed quietly, pulling out an apron from one of the kitchen drawers. I probably didn't need it, but I liked wearing them. It brought back memories of baking cakes and helping my mom cook dinner. "What would you like?"

Jared eyed the apron, smiling at it, before shrugging. "I don't care."

I opened the freezer. My mom always kept ready bake pizza's in the fridge in case dinner wasn't made. She knew that if she didn't make it or I didn't make it, no one would. She was big into eating regular meals, so she always had a backup plan. "Want a pizza?"

"Pizza? Yeah, sure."

I felt him watch me as I opened it and put it in the oven. It was kind of unnerving, but I figured I'd have to get used to it. I typed in the time on the stove and walked over to sit next to him at the island while we waited for the pizza to cook.

"So," I said, breaking the silence. It was starting to freak me out. Jared had been staring at the oven window, watching it cook. He wasn't in any hurry. "What else do you have to tell me about being a werewolf?"

He glanced at me, before leaning back in his chair. He thought for a moment, running a hand through his hair, before shifting in his seat and crossing his arms. Hesitation was present in his eyes, as though thinking through all of the possible reactions that might come from his words.

"Well," he said slowly. "We're not like normal humans. Our senses are stronger, like smell, and we're a lot stronger than normal. I'm not allowed to play baseball anymore and Paul's not allowed to play football. I think Embry was on the soccer team, so he had to quit that. Sam said it wouldn't be fair and it could bring up questions if it looked like we were on steroids or something."

I blushed, looking down to try and cover it, remembering that I'd once tried to get Jenny to watch Jared play baseball the year before. It had been a home game and everyone was going to go, so I didn't think it would be so obvious that I was there to watch someone specifically. But, it turned out, right as we got there, Jared had sprained it ankle during warm-ups. So, we had to sit there and watch him on the bench, icing his foot, almost out of site, in the dugout.

"We're always really hot – but you know that," he said winking at me. He flashed me a smile, showing all his perfectly straight teeth. The whiteness glowed against his dark, russet skin.

"Do you know why?" I asked, trying to keep the flame off my cheeks.

He shrugged. "There are a lot of things we can't explain. Like, imprinting, we don't know anything about how it works or why we do."

I nodded, frowning slightly. I was disappointed, my hopes dashed. I wanted to know more about imprinting, about how it worked and how he knew I was his.

"We're kind of the opposite of - of vampires," he continued, watching me intently.

I felt my heart start to race that the impossible feeling creep into my stomach. I had already known that. He'd already said something about vampires. I thought for a moment, making sure I was fine with this bit of information, before nodding to him. "Like movie vampires?"

He laughed darkly. "No, these vampires walk in the day and don't get burned by the sun. They _shine_ instead. You can't kill them with a stake and they don't sleep in coffins – actually, I don't think they sleep at all. They don't have any fangs either and they _smell_ so _bad."_

"Really?" I asked breathlessly. My head was starting to whirl, but I kept myself focused. "So, I'd know if I was talking to one because they smelled?"

He paused for a moment before scowling. "They'd probably smell really good to you, actually. But, you won't ever be close enough to one to talk to it."

I frowned, confused. "Why?"

His eyes flickered and his expression became hard. "Because I won't let them get that close."

I didn't say anything, but nodded. I didn't trust my voice. Obviously these things weren't something to mess with.

"That's what we do, Kim," Jared muttered quietly after awhile. He glanced at me, his eyes soft again. "We protect the rez from them."

"Where do they come from? How do they get here?" I asked. It was eerie how normal they were making out to be. Why was it that normal people weren't aware of the danger if they came and went as they so wished? Wouldn't be better if people knew about them and could protect themselves?

"Mostly they travel alone, but sometimes they have covens or clans or… _families._ They can run like lightening, so they mostly travel that way," he answered lowly, still watching me. He was being cautious, carefully feeding me information. I knew he'd stop the moment it became too much.

"Families?"

He grimaced, heaving a sigh. "Have you heard of the Cullen's?"

It sounded familiar, but I couldn't put a face to the name. I vaguely recalled my mother saying something about a cute doctor up in the Forks hospital when she sliced her thumb open carving pumpkins last October. "No, not really."

"Dr. Cullen and his _family, _"Jared spit, growing angrier with each word, "live just outside Forks. They're _vegetarians_, or they don't drink human blood – "

"Wait," I said, interrupting. My voice was higher than normal. "They're vampires?"

"They haven't killed anyone in three years, Kim," Jared muttered, taking my hand and soothingly rubbed circles on the back of it with his thumb. "You have nothing to worry about. Besides, I won't let anything happen to you."

I smiled weakly at him, feeling my stomach in my throat. It was scary how dangerous creatures were trying to make themselves more normal by going to school and working normal jobs and being a family. Though, wasn't Jared a dangerous creature? He said so himself he was stronger than any normal human, so when he held my hand and touched my cheek, he could crush my hand or break my face if he wanted too. So, really, he was just like them on some basic level. So was I, I guess. They were outcasts trying to find their place in the world. Wasn't that what I was doing?

Obviously there were some major differences. Jared could kiss me without wanting to drink my blood.

I was very thankful of that.

"Keep going," I said, urging him on. I felt the familiar creep of my blush at the thought of him kissing me again.

He hesitated for a moment, before running a hand through his hair. "Anyway, uh – when we phase, we're just as fast as they are. It's fun when you get going. I mean, sometimes we're faster than cars! And, it's nice that we heal really fast. That comes in handy. But, I don't like how we share thoughts most of the time. I guess it would be nice to turn it off once in a – "

"Share thoughts? You said that before. What does that mean?" I said, scooting to the edge of my seat.

"Well," he said, scratching his head. He frowned, trying to find the right words. "Uh, we can hear what each other are thinking. Whatever you're thinking at that moment, everyone hears or sees. Kind of like remembering an old memory, only it's not from our eyes but someone else's."

"That's kind of cool," I muttered, smiling. "I mean, you can read each other's thoughts. Haven't you always wanted to do that?"

He smirked, giving me a look. "There have been some times," he said, leaning in close to me. I let my eyes close, enjoying the somersault feeling of my stomach. "But, it's annoying when seven other people enjoy kissing you too."

I blushed, giggling as he trailed kisses down my neck. My heart beat loudly in my ears. "You - you can't read anyone else's mind, right?"

He chuckled, his hot breath brushing my neck. He rested his forehead against mine while one of his hands, ran up my side slowly. "Why? Something you don't want me to know?"

"What do we have here?"

I jumped, pushing Jared away from me and almost falling right off my chair. Anna was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, looking giddy with her arms crossed and her hip cocked.

I blushed deeply, caught like a deer in the headlights. I had no idea how I was going to talk myself out of this one.

"Anna," I muttered, avoiding her smug look. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here_. Jared_," she purred, strolling into the room slowly. She giggled like she knew a secret. "What are you doing here?"

Jared grinned, not at all embarrassed. "Oh, you know. Just talking."

"Oh yeah? Talking. _Right,"_ she said, dragging out the word. She winked at me and placed a hand on her hip. "I smelled something burning, but I didn't know it was such a hit – "

"The pizza!" I shouted, running for the stove. I pulled it out, burning a couple fingers, before groaning. "I forgot about it."

"Oh, I don't blame you!" Anna said, laughing. "I mean, activities like those can take up – "

"Did you need something, Anna?" I asked tightly. I was mortified. "I thought you – you were going to be at Sean's or something. What are you doing he- here?"

"Forgot my phone this morning," she said shrugged. She grinned at Jared again. "Speaking of phones, I suppose you're the reason why the school called couple days ago?"

Jared looked surprised, but the smirk didn't fall from his face. He just sat on the stool, rested his elbows on the counter, and looking so handsome all –

"How do you know about that?" I demanded, realizing that maybe Anna knew more than she let on. I felt sick.

"I'm the one that checks messages, remember?" she said, quirking an eyebrow. "I just came across the school one and – oh I deleted it, so stop shitting your pants."

"Are you going to tell mom?" I asked in a small voice. Fear crawled up my spine. It was weird having Anna do something so nice for me.

"What? Hell no!" She said, shaking her head. "That would be like telling her, guessing that it was this guy – " she jerked a thumb at Jared – " you were with last night, that he came over at, oh I don't know, midnight and you guys had a little date last night."

I stared at her horrified.

Jared stared to laugh. "Sorry to keep you up."

"Oh no, darling," Anna said, turning towards him. She smiled at him. "I thought it was so cute! You should do it way more often. I've never seen Kim so – so _glowing. _She even _lied_ for you this morning! I mean, I didn't know she could do that!

I looked up at the ceiling, my cheeks on fire, trying to cool the humiliation I felt.

"Mom heard some thumping – I don't want to know why – so try and keep it down next time, yeah?" Anna said, sniggering.

Jared chuckled again, nodding his head. "Sure thing."

"Anna, don't you have somewhere to be?" I said quietly. I tried to relax, to calm myself down. I knew she was just teasing me, but I was frozen, still standing by the stove. I couldn't look at Jared. It was so _embarrassing._

"Oh, yeah, I'll just leave you to burn more pizza and, " She paused, giving me a wink, "to - to_ talk_ about things."

She laughed, walking out of the kitchen with her hips swaying. I held my breath until I heard the garage door slam.

Jared and I were quiet. I felt him watching me, but I was too embarrassed to meet his gaze.

"I like your sister," Jared muttered suddenly. "She's… interesting."

I snorted. I felt like crying. "Yeah, she's really – really something."

"She likes to kid around, doesn't she?" he mumbled. I heard his chair scrap back as he stood.

"That was – was embarrassing," I mumbled, hiding my face in my hands. "I knew she knew this morning, but I thought it was just suspicion not backed up by – by _proof!"_

"I thought we were quiet," Jared muttered, grinning at me. He came and stood in front of me, curling some of my hair behind my ear. There was a twinkle in his eye.

I blushed, dropping my eyes to my feet. I shifted awkwardly. "I'm sorry."

Jared pulled me to him and hugged me to his chest. "For what?"

"Anna and… _everything_," I muttered weakly, my voice muffled by his chest. I heard a faint growl and felt it rumble in his chest under my ear.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Jared said firmly. He rubbed my back slowly. "Why would you think that? Anna's just being an older sister. They tease they're kid siblings."

I shrugged, still feeling like I wanted to cry.

Jared pulled away and kissed my cheek. He took my hand. "When does your dad get home?"

"Around five – five thirty," I said frowning. "Why?"

He glanced at the clock, swearing under his breath. "Damn, well how about Friday I take you out? We'll go to a movie or something."

I grinning, feeling shy. "Like a date?"

He chuckled, yanking me forward by my hand. He kissed me again, slowly, pushing me slightly against the counter. His hands danced at the hem of my shirt and my fingers were tangled in his hair. We were so close, hit heat muddling my thoughts.

"Yes," he said, pulling away. I felt dizzy and light headed. "Like a date."

* * *

**author's note:** _I'm not loving this chapter. I don't know why either. I've re-read it so many times, maybe it's just from over reading it. lol. Maybe you can tell me what's wrong with it. _

_By the way, it's Wednesday in this chapter. I know you probably lost track with all the… action. ;)_

_I know Anna was really mean in this one, but you have to remember Anna and Kim don't talk much, so this is something unfamiliar to Kim. It's normal for an older sibling to really tease and embarrass they're younger ones – trust me, I speak from experience. (9__th__ grade, older brother, formal dance, worst night of my life… don't want to talk about it.)_

_Finals are over and it's now officially the new semester! Yay! I think I did well on all of mine - your reviews definitely helped ease the stress and provide as a good procrastinating distraction. _

_I heard lots of odd slang. Thanks to everyone that shared! My boyfriend and I got a kick out of it. Very, very entertaining when you're trying to study. lol. _

_Anyway, you know the drill. Tell me what you thought of this in a _**REVIEW!!!**

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_

**FYI (please read!!) –**_ I've got two one-shots up, the ending result of cleaning out an old folder of mine. _

Absolute: The Edward Cullen_ – Jessica Stanley's thoughts about Edward Cullen. SM said that she had a crush on Edward, so kind of gave Jessica a reason to be embarrassed around Edward. It's just a little thought that might be funny. _

The Limit of Stability_ – Sam and Emily's relationship in the beginning. I don't think it was all that glamorous. _

_Please check them out! I'd really appreciate it. Don't forget to review them! _


	22. Chapter Twenty: Frights and Dates

_Playlist: I have all this new music because I stole a lot of it from my bestie. My favorite song is _Hey Brittany_ by Forever the Sickest Kids._

Chapter Twenty – Frights and Dates:

_fluff – (noun) light balls of fiber; downy fuzz; nonsense_

I was running, but not going anywhere. It was as though my feet were stuck in thick mud, keeping me from running, running fast. I gasped and struggled, trying to move faster though the dense wood. My first instinct was to stay away from the fog, blinding the deeper parts of the wood, but somehow I knew the something behind me was more terrifying than the unknown.

Scared wouldn't even begin to cover what I felt like. I was more than terrified. There was a blinding panic, an overwhelming sense of _flee_ that made me move forward. I couldn't remember what was behind me; I just knew I needed to get _away._

There was a malicious laugh that echoed through the trees which were wider than a car lengthwise. It made the forest grow so quiet, my breathing sounded like it was being blared through a microphone at full blast. I put my hand over my mouth, trying to silence all the noise I was making. _He wasn't allowed to find me._

"Little girl," the voice sounded again, only this time in a sickly, sweet tone, dripping with false security. "Come out to play, little girl."

I was frozen, my eyes darting everywhere to give me some sort of warning to where he was. I wrapped an arm around myself, either to shield myself from the chill that the voice caused or to keep myself from sobbing.

"Jared," I whispered, now turning frantically, searching. It was his job to protect us. "Jared!"

"He can't save you, _girl._ That boy doesn't know your name remember? He doesn't love you!"

My eyes blurred and I felt faint. I felt heavy tears slide down my face, burning. "Jared," I called quietly, starting to bawl. I was shaking uncontrollably, stumbling forward over falling logs and under low branches. "Jared, where are you? Please, Jared!"

"I will find you, little girl," the voice said, the echo so loud it ricochet around in my head. It knocked me over, causing suck pain. I began to sob harder, searching frantically for a stake to defend myself, to kill him. I couldn't find one. It was hopeless.

"Jared! Jared, please! Jared!" I started to shout desperately.

"Kim! Kim! _Wake up, Kim!"_

I gasped, bolting up straight. My stomach twisted and rolled with the horror that still pulsed through my system. It rose in my throat. I leaned over the bed and threw up in my trash can. An arm kept me from falling off the bed, and a hand held my forehead, to steady me.

"Oh shit," Jared muttered in my ear. He pulled me into his lap, hugging my tightly to his chest. "_Oh shit,_ Kim. Are you okay?"

"What happen?" I gasped, the tears still falling. "How did you find me?"

Jared rocked us gently, his face buried in my neck. "You were dreaming, Kim. I didn't find you anywhere."

I took a deep breath, trying to slow my heart's rapid pace. I was covered in a thin layer of sweat and my mouth felt like I'd been screaming for hours. I was fatigued as though I'd just run miles and miles. There was no way that was a dream.

"I was so scared," I whispered, hugging Jared around the middle. I hid my face in his chest. "I couldn't find you."

"I was just checking on you," Jared muttered. He sighed, hugging me closer. "I heard my name and I thought you saw me…"

"I was running," I said, the memory flashing through my head. "I was running and he was trying to find me."

"He?" Jared asked. He stopped rocking us, his grip like an iron grasp.

I nodded, closing my eyes tightly as though it would help me forget faster. "He was chasing me. He said you didn't love me. He said you weren't going to come."

"_He?"_ Jared asked again, only this time it was harder, more pressing. His grip on my arm tightened, almost to the point where it hurt.

"I didn't see him," I mumbled. "I just knew."

"_Knew what?" _Jared whispered. He choked the words out, a low hiss in the darkness.

"He was a vampire," I said in a small voice. I started to cry again. "He was after me and I was so scared…"

"It was just a dream," Jared muttered forcefully, as though to reassure himself more than I. "_It was just a dream."_

"How do you kill a vampire?" I asked quietly, starting out my window. I didn't like the look of the darkness outside.

"What?"

I extracted myself somewhat from Jared's arms so I could look up at him. He wasn't wearing a shirt, his silhouette only showing a pair of pants. His hair was in all directions and I saw the glow of his eyes, watching me anxiously. I didn't think I was the only one completely terrified.

"In the… dream," I explained, not ready to believe it wasn't real. "I couldn't find a stick or stake to stab through his heart. I was – was panicking and I knew I was going to die and – "

"Kimberly," Jared interrupted, taking my head in his hands. It was odd hearing my full name out of his mouth. He looked me right in the eye. "I promise you that you won't ever be close enough to a vampire to look at it, let alone try to kill it. _Do you understand me?"_

I started to protest, but a low growl vibrated in Jared's chest. I sighed, frowning. "Yes, I understand."

"Good," he said weakly. He exhaled, his grip on me relaxing slightly before he pulled me to him. He kissed me, frighteningly soft, before, hugging me so tightly I could hardly breathe.

"I won't let anything happen to you," he said in my ear, stroking my hair. "You're safe."

I nodded, noticing I was still crying.

"Killing a vampire with a stake is movie stuff," Jared answered after a moment. "Real vampires you have to rip apart and burn the pieces. That's why I'm so strong; I have to pull apart its skin that –that's like rock, really."

"Oh," I muttered into his neck, letting his smell overtake me. I wasn't so scared anymore; the tears leaking from my eye were from the shock of everything. I knew this information should disturb me in some way, but I just couldn't seem to care. I was suddenly very content sitting in Jared's arms.

"Have you ever had a nightmare about me?" he asked quietly, his sadness dripping from his words. He didn't want to know the answer, but the question scalded him.

"Oh no," I said, smiling at him. I played with the hair that curled at his ear. "They're always good dreams."

He laughed, letting gravity push him to the bed. He cradled me against his chest. I blushed at my courage. I hadn't even though about if I should have said that or not. Apparently I made the right choice anyhow.

"You won't leave, right?" I whimpered, suddenly fearing sleep.

"Not if you don't want me too," he breathed, his warmth calming my nerves.

"I don't want you too," I said, gripping him closer.

We laid quietly for awhile, in tune to each other. I didn't think I could have slept even if I wanted too. Having Jared in my bed was something out of a fairy tale, even if it was under the worst circumstances. His breath tickling my ear set a shiver of tingles down my spine and his erratic caressing of my back or arm or fingers caught my breath before I could catch it back. My nightmare was already fading and I couldn't remember why it had been so scary.

"You spent today with Jenny, right?" Jared whispered after a little while.

I nodded. "I walked to her house and we just ate popcorn and watched _Sixteen Candles_."

"Is that a movie?"

I giggled, shifting closer to him. It really was just for my sake, making sure no space was separating us. "Yeah, it's a great one."

"Never heard of it," he muttered.

"It's a girl movie. Like, _Breakfast at Tiffany's_? Have you ever heard of that one?"

I felt him shake his head. His hand was now tracing the curve of my back. I couldn't think of another movie. My thoughts were suddenly blurred and slipper, I couldn't focus on one.

"What did you guys talk about?"

"Just normal stuff," I muttered, blushing a little. I'd _mentioned_ the date he was taking me on tomorrow. I was fully appreciative of Jenny and all her girlfriend-ness. Just like in the movies, having a date was so much better when you had someone to freak out with.

Jenny had warmed up to Jared, even if he still wasn't on her favorite side, he still earned a smile and a wink when she'd caught us kissing before school that morning.

"What do girls talk about?" Jared muttered. His curiosity was endearing. I guess I'd never wondered what a boy would talk about without a girl around.

"The same kind of stuff I talk to you about, I guess." I stretched the truth just a smidge. I didn't think he needed to know that we talked about him or actors that were nice looking or girly stuff like Tom, the monthly visitor, or other girl issues that girls should only really talk about with girls.

"Does Jenny like me now?"

"She's always liked you," I said, lying to him. I didn't know why, maybe so it didn't sound so horrible.

"No she hasn't," he said, turning his head into my hair. I felt him take deep breaths, as though he was smelling my hair. "She used to give me the stink eye."

"I think you're acceptable now," I said, smiling. It made me happy that I actually wasn't lying about that now.

"Your hair smells good," he muttered. His tone was deeper than usual, making my face heat up.

"Just shampoo," I muttered, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. My arms were curled in front of me. I had my head on his chest, his arms around me. I was pressed against his _bare chest_, wrapped up in him on _my bed_.

I tried to match my breathing to his, but gave up when I noticed that he took one to my every two. His hands weren't wandering anymore, so it was easier to think. I started to panic, wondering if he'd fallen asleep. I wasn't ready to stop talking to him.

"You asleep?" he murmured, echoing my thoughts. I sighed, relieved.

"Not yet," I answered, feeling him turn his head slightly so his lips brushed my ear.

We were quiet for a moment. I stayed calm, feeling more relaxed that he seemed to be okay with just laying there.

"Excited for our date tomorrow?" he asked, murmuring low in my ear. I felt him smile slightly.

I grinned, blushing. "Yeah, I am. Where are we going?"

"I was thinking a movie," he said, brushing his fingers through my hair. He wrapped a curl around his finger. "Maybe we could get something to eat afterwards."

I frowned, remembering the problem Jenny had brought up. "What do I tell my mom?"

"That you're going with Jenny? I don't know. You can't tell her it's with me, can you?" He seemed disappointment.

I shook my head gently. "She still thinks you're in some kind of gang that makes trouble and someone I shouldn't – uh… be around."

Jared was quiet for a moment. I thought I'd fallen asleep for real this time, but he shifted, growling lowly in my hair. "I think I can fix that."

"How?" I asked, confused. "Wait, what?"

"Never mind, I think you should get some sleep. It's almost four in the morning," Jared whispered, hastily, brushing his hand down my back again. He rested it in the small of my back, just above where my big t-shirt was pulled up slightly.

I nodded, knowing I wasn't sleeping anytime soon.

- -

Jared wasn't with me the next morning. My window was open, blowing my green curtains gently. I sat frowning, disappointment rolling my stomach angrily. Just once I wanted to know what it would feel like to wake up to him. I wanted to know f he'd whisper lover nonsense junk like did in the movies, and giggle and smile with me because we were so in love…

I sighed, realizing I sounded stupid. I needed to stop expecting all the made up stuff that Hollywood made up to appeal to the movie watchers and just enjoy what Jared did do.

Like stay with me all night so I wouldn't have nightmares.

I frowned again. How had he known I was having a nightmare? He had said something about checking up on me, but what did that mean?

"Kimberly, are you awake?"

"Yeah, mom," I yelled back at her, slumping out of bed. I walked over to my dresser and started to pick out my clothes. I'd taken a shower the night before.

I was ready for school about twenty minutes later, burying myself in a comfy sweatshirt and my favorite pair of jeans. I wore my hair up, a change from the normal down look I always wore.

"I like your hair in a pony tail," Anna said, eyes light. "I'm sure J – "

"Thanks Anna," I called, watching my mom walk into the kitchen. "I'm going to a movie with Jenny tonight. Do you think – uh – you could give me a ride?"

She watched me for a moment, trying to figure out my words. I gave her a look, swishing my pony tail.

She suddenly grinned, making a kissy face. "Sure, I guess. I'm going to Sean's later, so maybe on my way I can drop you off."

I glanced at mom who was buttering some toast. "Oh, what time?"

"Around five maybe?"

I nodded, smiling at her. She gave me a thumbs up and a wink.

- -

"Anna's going to drop me off at the movie theatre. That way we avoid my dad. Plus, Jenny can just stay at home," I said to Jared and Jenny at my locker later that morning. I'd taken the bus; hoping that Jared would take me home and we'd have time before the date together, so I was earlier than I would have been than if I took the car.

"What about dropping off?" Jared asked, a wrinkle in his forehead.

I shrugged. "I'll call Anna. If she can't take me, you can drop me off at like a block away."

He knew he wouldn't like the idea of my walking in the dark, his face gave him away as plain as day, but there wasn't really any other plan.

"What if your parents call me?" Jenny asked worriedly. While all this sneaking around was making me exciting, it was making her sick. She looked so nervous and scared; a white color tinged her cheeks.

"I don't think they will. They never do, do they?" I asked, watching her shake her head. "They don't have any reason to be suspicious. It's just a movie with you!"

"Anna won't tell?" Jenny asked, trying to find the loophole. She knew, being logical, that there was something wrong with this plan.

Jared was the one that answered. "No, she won't."

Jenny narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms. "How are you so sure?"

"He's right, Jenny," I said, looking at Jared. "She won't tell. She already covered for me once."

"If you're sure," Jenny mumbled, letting her arms fall. Her shoulders sagged. "I don't like lying."

I chuckled dryly. "I don't either, but hopefully my mom will change her mind about Jared."

"Why can't we tell her again?" she asked, frowning. I wasn't allowed to tell Jenny about Jared, so she still was out of the loop somewhat, not knowing that Jared was really what she thought he was all along. Her mom, thankfully, wasn't into the gossip mill like my mother was, so she didn't know about the rumors that had been made to protect the pack and their secrets.

"She's heard things about me that aren't true," Jared answered. He sounded so sure and trustworthy, she immediately dropped it with a nod of her head.

The whole day I bounced in barely contained excitement. All I could think about was Jared and how we were going to be alone, and how my toes curled from all the feelings he released in my blood. There was this new feeling I got whenever Jared was always from me. There was a sense of completeness when he was, so it was almost like there was a hole that in my chest when he wasn't. Just like last night, I just wanted to be around him, to be _absolute. _

Jared met me at my locker after school and took my hand, giving it a casual squeeze. My breath caught in my throat and I grinned dreamily up at him. He just smiled at me and pulled me down the hallway.

"Do you care what movie?" he asked, answering my suspicion that he was indeed thinking about tonight. My stomach twirled, knowing he was thinking about me. It still surprised me that the feelings I had were mutual.

"I don't care," I said, grinning down at my shoes.

He nodded, leading the way outside. "Well, Paul said there's some chick flick, a movie called Push, that's supposed to be good, and Pink Panther Two, or something like that."

I was nervous. I didn't like deciding things like this because I didn't want to pick something he didn't want to see. I didn't want to say the wrong thing and make the night horrible. So, I shrugged, bouncing the ball back into his court.

He unexpectedly leaning down and kissed my cheek. "Just relax. Tonight's going to fun, okay?"

I blushed, realizing I was squeezing the circulation off in his hand. "Yeah, I know. I'm excited."

He smiled down at me, and continued. "Well, maybe we can just decide – "

"_Kimberly Ann_," my mother's shrill voice shouted over the people and their cars. All the blood drained from my face while my head snapped to the direction where my mother was briskly walking towards us.

She looked _livid_, in old jeans, a nice shirt, and slippers. Her hair was out of her bun, swirling in the wind like something out of a horror film.

I felt trapped, my brain frozen. I felt Jared's hand tighten in my own, shaking slightly.

"Kimberly Ann, you drop that boys hand _this instant_. Get in the car,_ now_." She was using her deadly calm voice that never failed to raise the little hairs on the back of my neck.

I gulped, feeling faint. _I am so dead…_

* * *

**author's note:** _Yes, it's been a while since I've updated. Life got in the way… sorry. _

_I'll have you know, to the people that reviewed that are younger than me, school only gets harder. High school isn't all fun and games. I'm pretty sure everything just gets more stressful as you go along and contrary to what the seniors have you believe, senioritis doesn't actually happen. We seniors don't have time NOT to do our homework. And besides, we have to if we want to graduate. ;)_

_I'm sorry for all the mistakes, if there are any. I don't have the energy to really edit this. I did my best to get all the obvious ones out, but if you find any, please tell me and I'll fix them._

_I wanted to thank you for all the reviews. Most are filled with wonderful compliments. I actually want to say that the ones that tell me what's wrong with my story are my favorite because they kick me off my high pedestal that most put me on and it's nice to get my ego deflated. _

_Contrary to what some of you like to believe, I don't have all the time in the world to write. It's when I do write, I crank out like four chapters and then all I have to do is go back and edit them – or in some cases, re-write them. The most I've re-written a chapter is 9 times and they're all different, but circling around the same idea._

_I'm rambling. Before this gets beastly, I love your reviews. They're fun to read and reply to. _

_Anyway, leave me a _**review**_ before you go. I didn't get as many as I usually do, which might be because the last couple chapters have sucked or you're all lazy, but please do review._

_I hope you liked the Kim and Jared fluff, and the mean cliffhanger at the end. Tell me all. _

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_


	23. Chapter Twenty One: Real Life Movie Star

_**Note:**__ It's late. I'm tired. I'm late with updating. Please excuse all grammar/spelling mistakes. I don't have the energy to thoroughly look it over. _

* * *

_Playlist: Prom Queen by Lil Wayne and Dead and Gone by Justin Timberlake and TI_

Chapter Twenty-One – Real Life Movie Stars:

_vehemence – (adj.) expressed with or showing conviction or intense feeling; done with vigor_

I sat erect in the passenger seat of my mom's car, gripping my fingers together and trying not to panic at my mom's angry figure walking around the front of the van. Her arms were locked and fists were being held tightly to her sides. Her stance looked ready to kill and I knew I was the first one in line.

She yanked the door open, making me wince, before slamming it closed and starting the engine in one motion. Her lips were a thin line and I tried not to start sobbing at the sight of them. Thin lips were never a good sign.

We were silent, the fury simmering and the atmosphere thick with unsaid words. I held my tongue and kept my questions to myself, knowing that if they were allowed into the air it would spark my mother's yelling. I'd never been in trouble like this before, so there was no expectation or way to tilt the argument that was to come, to my side so I ended up on the non-dismembered side. Anna's skills were looking golden at that moment.

She suddenly spoke. "You're not to ever speak to that boy again. Do you hear me, Kimberly?"

My eyes widened and I trembled. My thoughts snapped back to when my hand was locked in Jared's, when he hadn't let me let go and walk away. I'd wondered if he'd wanted me in pieces because the fiery dragon was seeing red and coming in fast.

There were words exchanged, a slight quiver that rolled off Jared's back before a polite smile was given and a hand stuck out for a handshake. His words were lost in my ears when my mother gave a sharp command that eventually led to me sitting the car, watching her shout at him.

I was surprised when Jared stood tall, that polite smile never slipping off his handsome face. He was calm, not as angry as I thought he would be. My stomach rolled sickly. Would he really give me up that easily? What did my mother say to him that he was okay with? That he'd just…

His back was suddenly facing me, walking away while the dragon started to storm towards the car, to release her wrath upon me. The sight caused my heart to drop the floor, a bleeding mess. There was no comforting look back or any sign that Jared was upset with what had occurred, unlike me, who felt like sobbing. My cheeks were white, bland and unhealthy looking. The drop down mirror said so.

The car jolting over a speed bump brought me back, in tune to the rage undulating off my mother.

"Your dad is going to hear about this, young lady," she snapped, turning the car sharply to the left. I let the car push me into the door like a lifeless doll. My forehead connected with the window, but I didn't feel the sting. I was too preoccupied with keeping my tears in check.

"Why are you home?" I asked in a small voice. It wasn't until I asked it that I realized it was the wrong question.

The break was abruptly pushed for the stop sign. The box of tissues on the hood slammed into the windshield and all the loose change and miscellaneous objects tinkled as they were forced forward.

My mother didn't bother looking at me, but her words were still spit like nails into my weak shield. "What, Kimberly? Am I not allowed to take a day off to enjoy myself since I no longer have weekends because of the _shitty_ economy and your _father's _lame job that doesn't provide _anything_ for the family!? Or, are you mad because you couldn't _sneak _around with the boy I specially told you to _stay away _from?"

I didn't say anything. My words were choked back, tumbling into my upset stomach.

"Am I not allowed to be a nice mother and pick up her daughter from school because she noticed that her daughter took the bus this morning and didn't have a ride? Am I allowed to be oblivious to the ride you _already had_? Huh, what is it Kimberly?" my mother panted, trying to slap me with her words. She was doing a good job of it.

"I knew about that boy, too. Mrs. Canter told me about the big, black truck that made regular stops at our house and took you places while we weren't around. I liked to think I could _trust_ you and that you wouldn't end up like Anna and _lie_ to me. I liked to think I didn't have to worry about you getting _pregnant_ or doing _drugs_ or making _stupid decisions_," my mom said, shaking her head. Her voice became calm, a whisper in the diminutive space. "I'm disappointed in you."

I gasped, feeling sharp stake being driven deep into my chest. I would have rather been yelled at with a bunch of curse words. That was the worst thing she could have ever said to me, and she said it.

"I'm sorry," I mutter pathetically, on the verge of tears. My chest constricted my breathing and I felt light headed.

The car rolled to a stop in our driveway and my mother cut the engine. We didn't get out.

"Why him, Kimberly? Why did you have to pick the one that's up to no good?" she asked, her voice cracking. Her eyes were morose, her hair hanging limply, and every glance she gave me made me tremor from her _disappointment._

"He's not what you think," I whispered, suddenly wishing I could tell her everything. Even if it would make her think I was insane, or scare her to mars and back, it would be worth it because I wouldn't be lying anymore. She'd know everything.

"Just go to your room," she said, turning away from me. Total rejection made the tears burn my eyes.

I stumbled out of the car, slamming the door and trying to get away as quickly as possible. I felt the familiar feeling of nausea creep up my throat. I didn't look back, nor answer my dad's greetings, but walked stiffly to my room and closed the door.

I collapsed next to my bed, hugging my knees and started to sob, feeling so pathetic and useless. I was a failure, a _complete failure_. I couldn't seem to balance anything, just to keep my life in perfect order so I wasn't neglecting or disappointing or scaring away anyone that meant something to me.

I cried because life just couldn't get any worse.

- -

I lay on my bed, listening to his answering machine for the eleventh time. Jared didn't pick up. His mom didn't pick up. I was left to listen to dull rings until the phone hung up on me. I didn't say anything, just let the answering machine run, hoping that he hadn't been able to get to the phone quick enough and would pick up and I'd hear his comforting husky voice.

I did try his cell phone, but it was a waste of time because I was immediately directed to voice mail. _Off_, I thought, gently placing the phone back on the receiver.

My dad hadn't said a word to me after my mom told him about what had happened in the school parking lot. He had turned a nice shade of purple though. I was waiting for the inevitable and it _sucked._

I didn't know what to do with myself, so I sat on the floor and drew Jared's name over and over, hoping that a miracle would happen and make everything okay. I thought that if I thought about him hard enough, my wishing star would get the message and deliver him to me.

At first, I didn't take the ring of the doorbell like a sign, but when my mother's harsh order to leave the door unanswered vibrated in my skull, I realized that maybe fate wasn't done with me quite yet.

I jerked the door open, hoping that I'd been right and Jared hadn't surrendered. My grin fell right off my face when I realized I was wrong. Instead a tall man, taller than the seven foot door frame, stood on my porch, wearing a too small shirt and raggy cutoffs. His shoes were so white they glowed in the darkness.

"Kim," the man said, nodding his head once. His face was momentarily light by the porch light, but almost immediately over shadowed once more. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Sam Uley."

I took his outstretched hand. It burned just like Jared's. I wondered how he'd known my name. I was slightly unnerved by his hard expression that looked anything but nice.

"How are you?" he asked politely, watching me with dark eyes. His forehead creases slightly, studying, but it was smoothed out the next moment.

It was also unsettling that the bases of all the rumors that started this mess, a newly appointed Elder of the reservation council, and Jared's pack leader was standing at my door, making small talk with me.

"Fine," I muttered, letting in him. He bowed his head to fit through the door. He was a bigger built model of Jared, with a freshly buzzed head and light five o'clock shadow. His face showed no emotion and was harden like he had a great weight on his shoulders. While scaring me to pieces, I did like him. I understood immediately why Jared looked up to him.

"Are your – "

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave, Mr. Uley," my father said tightly from behind me. He had his arms crossed with his chest; it puffed out as though it would make him intimidating. My mother stood behind him with a wooden spoon, as though it would help beat Sam out of the house if need be.

They looked ridiculous. My cheeks flushed, noting that even if the odds were two to one, and I hadn't known Sam's secret, he looked the most threatening.

Sam didn't seem fazed and offered his hand. "Hello, I'm Sam Uley. I have a couple things I'd like to discuss with you."

My mother gaped for a moment before composing herself. She snorted quietly, waving me away. "Go to your room, Kimberly."

My dad seemed to deflate slightly, but he shook his head. "We're unavailable at the moment. This is going to have to wait until – "

"I'm sorry, but this is important and something that needs to be discussed immediately. Kim," Sam said, his voice still low and authoritative. "Would you please excuse us?"

I hesitated, feeling my irritation creep into my stomach. I didn't like how he thought he could order me around, but I decided not to fight it. My parents were already mad at me; I didn't need to make things worse.

I stomped to my room, annoyed further when I realized Sam was waiting until I was gone before he started to speak again. I'd wanted to catch even a couple words, to help ease my curiosity about what he was doing in my house and so urgently needed to talk to my parents about. But, he seemed to know that.

"Stupid Sam," I muttered, slamming my door and leaning on it. I felt like throwing up and there seemed to be a permanent shake to my hands due to my anxieties. I sighed, rubbing my eyes.

"He is annoying, isn't he?"

I jumped, looking up to find Jared lounging on my bed, his hands behind his head and his ankles crossed. He was grinning at me, his dimple showing.

"He does know what he's talking about, though," he muttered, sitting up. His hair was disheveled and sticking up in odd angles, as though a hand had been towed through it multiple times.

He motioned for me to come closer that I happily obliged to. My steps were shy, but he pulled me surely to him when I was within reaching distance. He kissed me, making my knees weak and my stomach flop icily, my hands snake into his hair and every thought float away, effortlessly. He lingered, as though we'd been apart for too long, but it still was too short when he pulled away.

"You didn't answer your phone," I mumbled, hugging him tightly. I took in his masculine scent and felt my nerves calm, a wave of relief washing over me.

He sat me down on his lap, to relieve my shaky knees or pull me closer, and placed soft kisses on my neck, creating a feverish trail. He mumbled, "I was at Sam's. I've lost my phone somewhere in the couch, or I left it on the counter this morning."

"Oh," I muttered blushing, trying not to faint. His affections were getting dizzying.

"Didn't think I'd give up that easily, did you?" he asked, twirling my hair around his finger. I gasped, when I felt his hand rest on my knee. He didn't move it, but its presence created heat on my cheeks.

"What's Sam talking to my parents about?" I asked, changing the subject. I was mentally cursing at myself for my stupidity. Of course Jared wouldn't relinquish me because my mom told him too. It wasn't fair to him that I'm jump to such a conclusion when he had done nothing to show that he was going to leave me if my parents saw him.

I loved him. He loved me. I should trust that, believe that.

Jared scooted back on the bed until he was leaning on the frame, still holding me in his lap. He pushed some of my fringe out of my eyes and took a curl around his finger again. He murmured something about liking my hair up, before his face relaxed and he sighed, closing his eyes.

He hesitated for a moment longer before giving me an answer, carefully wording his words. "Sam's reminding them that I work for the council and, therefore, aren't a hooligan."

I giggled, playing with the button on his flannel shirt. "Aren't you?"

He rolled his eyes, huffing. "No, I don't beat up kids or steal stuff, or do whatever else your mom thinks I do."

"Drugs," I muttered, avoiding his eye. I knew I shouldn't assume that he was clean, Jared was known for being at all the big high school parties, but I liked to think I knew enough that he wasn't a druggie.

He snorted, shaking his head. He seemed to read my mind, anticipating my quiet questions. "I tried weed once, but it wasn't worth the dead brain cells. I didn't like the feeling of being so out of control either."

"What makes you think that Sam can do anything?" I asked, moving away from the subject. Talking about substances always made my stomach turn, and the whole confirmation of one having been in his system didn't held. I felt a headache pulse in my forehead. "My mom's pretty stubborn and my dad just hates you because you're a boy."

He chuckled, winking at me. "Because I like to kiss you and think _dirty_ – "

"Jared!" I interrupted, swatting him playfully. My face was on fire, but my butterflies flapped widely. Where had this come from? "Stop – stop changing the subject."

He grinned, winking at me again and giving his eyebrows a suggestive wiggle, but he answered the question. "They have to respect me because the council does. You know, back in the day, if a pack member was hanging around their daughter, people used to be happy about it."

"Did they know about werewolves?" I asked, confused.

Jared shook his head. "No, but the elders approved of them. It's like touching a movie star. Doesn't matter who it is, you're touching someone_ famous."_

"Oh," I mumbled understandingly. "Like marrying a king."

He laughed, lacing his fingers through my left hand. "Yeah, that's kind of the same idea. Parents wanted their daughter to marry them because they were just… highly regarded and respected."

"And you think Sam can sway my parents?" I asked, still anxious. I didn't want to have to sneak around forever. Especially after the conversation with my mom, I didn't want to do anything more that would make me more _inadequate._

"Sam's an elder now. They kind of have to go by what he says," Jared muttered. His expression flickered and he squinted at me, letting my hand go. He cupped my face, staring at my forehead.

"What?" I asked, completely mystified. "What's wrong?"

"Did someone hit you?" he asked. His voice was furious, dangerously low.

I frowned, even more puzzled. "What? No, of course not!"

He let me go, frowning like he didn't believe me. "What's the bruise on your head from then?"

I rubbed my forehead self-consciously, feeling the painful spot, thinking back. "Well, I hit it on the window while we were driving home. Maybe it was harder than I thought."

He gave me a pained looked, before looking away.

"What?" I questioned, wondering why this was such a big deal.

"I don't like you being hurt," he muttered quietly. He fiddled with the string on my sweatshirt.

"It's just a bruise," I insisted, giving him a smile. "I'm really fine. I didn't notice until you pointed it out."

"Still gives me a stomach ache," he mumbled, avoiding my eye. He clenched his jaw slightly before he sat up, pulled me to him tightly, and buried his face in my neck.

It wasn't until a moment of this I realized this was Jared being embarrassing, just like me blushing. The knowledge was slightly alluring and I grinned, tinkering with the curl of hair at the base of his neck. I felt him relax after a minute. One of his hands started to creepy up my back and he inhaled deeply, carefully tracing the curve of my neck with his nose. He gave me a kiss every couple seconds, softly brushing his lips against my neck.

I sighed, gripping him tightly. My stomach grew hot and a shudder tingled down my back from the second of intimacy. I was chilled from how close I felt to him then, how I understood him completely, so openly. It was a moment where I really felt this adoration he claimed to have for me.

"I love you," he said quietly. My head felt hazy and I grinned, trying to keep my breathing even. It was such a rush, these words caused. I became high off them.

"I love you, too," I said, trying not to sound lovesick. I failed spectacularly.

"Kimberly, can you come here please?" my mother's voice called, muffled by the closed door.

I sighed again, only it was from irritation. I didn't want to let go, we'd finally just gotten to a point where I could comprehend the whole imprint connect Jared and I had.

Jared chuckled softly, releasing me from his hug. With that, I came back to my surrounds and the problem at hand, my mind becoming clear and alert. I was suddenly excited, slipping off the bed and making my way quickly to the door, restless to find out what the verdict was.

I jerked back, swirling around, blushing. Jared was still in my room. He was standing, watching me. I made my way back to him, giving him a sheepish smile.

"Forget something?" he mumbled, cupping my cheek. He gave me a kiss, knee buckling and thought muddling. His hands wandered slightly, down the back of my neck and tracing my side, stopping where my shirt had ridden up slightly. My skin broke out in goosebumps at his hot touch.

"I'll see you later?" I asked shyly, watching my bare toes. I wanted to tell him to come back tonight, but I couldn't shove down my nerves enough to do that.

He grinned at me, gently pulling a curl so it bounced up, just like a spring. "Of course."

I grinned goofily at him, watching as he jumped out the window and disappeared into the darkness. I took a deep breath, clearing my head before skipping down the hallway into the living room, stopping short before entering the silent room. My nervous found their way back into my stomach.

My parents were sitting on the long couch, facing the off TV. Sam was sitting in my dad's favorite chair, diagonal to them. He didn't look up when I entered, but was staring out the window, as though to confirm something.

My mom spoke first. "Kimberly," she said quietly, reluctantly. "Will you invite Jared to dinner for tomorrow night?"

I nodded, trying not to smirk. Sam watched me closely, offering a nod and a small smile. It was with this that I realized that he was quite handsome when he wasn't hard and unforgiving.

"It was nice to meet you, Kim," Sam muttered standing. I had to cramp my neck upwards to look up at him. "I'll see you later."

I nodded again, watching him let himself out. It wasn't until the roar of his truck quieted, that my mother rose from her spot on the couch and went into the kitchen to forcefully stir something. My dad muttered unintelligibly under his breath before going into his study, not saying anything to me.

Anna then made her appearance, wandering to the couch. I beat her to the sofa and collapsed on it, feeling happy about the way things turned out. I only hoped it stayed this way.

"Sam Uley is definitely not how I remember him to be," Anna muttered, sitting next to me. her eyes were glazed over, as though reliving a memory.

"Jared likes him," I told her, feeling the need to defend him. "He's a good role model, I guess."

"I just remember him smiling a whole lot more," Anna said, ignoring what I said.

I perked up. "Did you hear what they talked about?" I asked, hoping that maybe I'd found a way to eavesdrop without actually doing the dirty act.

She shook her head though, shifting so she could curl her legs under her. "No, they talked in low voices. Although, the parents weren't very happy."

"Why?" I pushed, looking at her expectantly.

Anna shrugged. "Sam told them that they needed to properly meet him, and then make a decision. Something about rumors and how they weren't true came up."

I nodded, feeling satisfied. Dinner may be a problem, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle with Jared with me.

"At least they're warming up to the idea of him, right?" She said, pushing my shoulder. She giggled, teasing me. "Now you don't have to sneak around."

I blushed, trying to roll my eyes nonchalantly and not as embarrassedly as I felt. Just the thought of Jared in my bedroom that night made my butterflies flap wildly in my stomach.

"Having him at dinner will be weird," Anna continued. "Remember when Sean came over?"

I suddenly felt woozy. That had not been a good night.

"Dad couldn't look me in the eye for days," she said chuckling. I didn't find anything funny about the incident.

"Jared's relaxed," I said, trying to convince myself that maybe my dad wouldn't throw the salt shaker at him like he did Sean. I didn't think he was stupid enough to try and feel me up in the hallway like Sean did to Anna. "He's a gentleman. It'll be fine."

"If you say so," Anna muttered, walking way. I felt my stomach sink with her leaving.

Maybe I was too sure about my infatuation. Maybe it would be the salt _and_ pepper shaker that made its way across the table.

* * *

**author's note:** _I'm not sure about this chapter. I don't think I got what I wanted to say a crossed. Also, I haven't been in a writing mood lately, so this sounds a little forced to me… how about you?_

_And, since my teachers are evil people, I've been really busy lately, so I'm sorry for the whole "barely updating" status of this story. It's getting close to the end of the year and graduation is coming closer and… well, things are really starting to pick up._

_I've noticed I'm almost to 800 reviews. It's kind of surreal how many people read my work. Thanks._

I do want to say that if I get 80 reviews for this chapter (won't be hard for a story that has +200 alerts) I'll update Wednesday night. (Yes, I am trying to bribe you.)

**PLEASE REVIEW!!! **_Please, I beg you. For a late Valentine's present… 3_

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_

_Btw – for those of you that haven't seen (or are on the fence about seeing) _He's Just Not That Into You_, I just want to share that I have seen it (because I'm a movie whore) and it's on the good side of chick flicks. It was really cute, kind of original, and sweetly funny. I suggest it to you all. (Although, if you're a guy, you might not enjoy it as much. Said boyfriend of mine thought it was just "okay" while my best friend and I thought it was "great.")_


	24. Interval Three: Always More Never Less

**Note: I know, I know, but hear me out. Excuse all mistakes – I have read this about six times, but knowing me I've missed something. Tell me where they are and I'll eventually fix them, but now I have neither the time nor energy. Enjoy the chapter… **

* * *

_Playlist: As tacky as this sounds, I wrote this to Clair De Lune by Debussy. I had my iPod on shuffle and when this came on, it reminded me of Kim. Yeah, not Bella or Edward. Funny, yeah?_

Interval Three – Always More Never Less:

(Jared P.O.V)

_Obsolete – (adj.) not used anymore; out-of-date; undeveloped_

"Ma," I muttered, walking into the kitchen. She was humming forcefully, sounding as though she was trying to keep the tears at bay. There were mountains of laundry in front of her that she was carefully folding and refolding until the items looked perfect. I talked quietly, slowly because she was fragile. Loud and hard would surely shatter her completely. "Ma, what are you doing?"

She gave a dry chuckle, barely pausing in her vigorous whining - the melody of a tuneless song. Her voice sounded shaky, apprehensive. "What does it look like, honey? I'm folding clothes."

"But, you did it yesterday," I said, picking up a blue shirt that I distinctly remember she placed in my dresser while I was trying to hurry through my chemistry homework. I had told her to just leave it on the bed and that I'd put it away later, but she insisted that she do it. I passed it up that morning, going with the green instead.

"Oh no, I didn't," she said, refolding a towel for the third time. She shook her head a few times more than necessary. "No, no, there was more."

---

About a week ago I noticed an aged box sticking out from under the linen closet. I had stared at it for a moment, squinting at the cracked and wrinkled skin of the cardboard. It was out of place; suck there because someone didn't want to look at it anymore.

Slinging the shirt I had been about to put on over my shoulder, I walked over to it and picked it up, noting that I'd probably have to find another box for all the junk inside. It would have been heavy if I hadn't been able to pick up a car without straining myself. The junk instead tinkled at it hit each other as I shifted it around, carefully placing it on the coffee table to get a good look inside.

I couldn't make much of the stuff – a couple of old concert t-shirts, an empty pack of cigarettes, a stub from an old movie ticket, and newspaper clippings about past World Series games. I gasped when I picked up three pictures; two of them that had people in them didn't look familiar. The third had my twenty year old mother leaning on an old fence post – which I recognized from my grandma's farm back in Arizona. She was smiling, the kind of smile only my dad got, and her hair was long enough to brush against her waist. Her eyes were closed and she had her hands up like that movie _Titanic_, I think it was. It looked posed, something you'd find in a picture frame before you put your pictures in it.

I studied it for awhile, confused about why it held my attention so. It was just an old picture, maybe even before my parents met. But, somehow, I knew it was my dad that took the picture and all the old junk in the box was his.

My mom had lied to me when she'd said she'd thrown out all his stuff. She kept the most important and most painful memories, hiding them where she knew I would never go – the stupid linen closet.

I dropped it, feeling like it'd burned me when I realized, she was _happy_ in that picture.

My heart panged tightly in my chest, knowing that she'd never be the same if she had memories like those. She'd protect them with everything that she had, even if she became insane with it. I almost threw up when I realized that the humming would only get worse before she completely gave up when she couldn't fight those monsters, the ones hiding in the box, clinging to the fabric of my dad's old shirts and favorite baseball games.

I'd never have my mom back.

I growled angrily, hastily throwing the shit in the box before shoving it where I'd found it, indifferent that the box almost split in two from my tactics. I slammed the door and ran to the Little House, desperate to escape the haunting of my dad's ghost.

He wouldn't let us heal.

---

I paced, trying to fight the nightmares that were threatening me if I slept. I paced because I still ached from leaving Kim – her tangy scent, like oranges, and her taste that was sweeter than cookie dough. I paced because the lingering high from when I touched her, the calm that couldn't be replicated, that sensation that the world was suddenly so _fucking_ perfect, was still pulsing in my veins. I paced because of Sam's words –

"They hate you," he muttered as he drove me home. He was explaining his talk with Kim's parents. "Makes me wonder what you did to piss them off so."

He hesitated like he wanted an answer, but before I could, he chuckled drily. "But, then I realize you're dating their daughter, and you're a horny boy, so really, they _have _to hate you."

- and the way they did nothing for my anxiety. I paced because when the metaphoric door was cracked just slightly, all of reality's monsters took that as an invitation and poured in before they could be stopped. I paced because my mother's monsters were back and destroyed the singing and the happy humming, and the mom that I remembered that used to ask me how school was, bother me about homework, nag about chores, make me dinner, and kiss me goodnight. I paced because the tears burned behind my eyes as though I were going to start crying, and I knew that if I started I wouldn't be able to stop.

So, I paced a rut in my bedroom floor, trying not to make too much noise with the creaky floor boards. I tried to keep my hands from trembling and my world from collapsing around me.

Because that's what I fucking did because I fucking had too.

After awhile, I couldn't pace anymore. Instead, I sat at the edge of my bed, trying not to make myself premature bald by running my hand constantly through my hair, trying not to give myself a stomach ulcer with my stress level dangerously high, and all the while trying to rub my thoughts away with my thumbs. My knee bounced apprehensively, every muscle in my body tension as if waiting for the impending doom.

At around midnight, the phone rang suddenly, piercing the air with a harsh yell. I yanked the bedroom door open, almost ripping it off its hinges, to get to the phone before my mom's even breathing was disturbed.

"Hello?" I growled, fighting the beast within who wanted to punch something. I held my breath for a second, either trying to calm myself, make sure my mother was still asleep, or give the person stuttering incoherently on the other line the chance to pick themselves back up.

"I'm sorry Jared, is this a bad time?" It was Kim. I instantly relaxed, my shoulder slumping forward, the worry line on my forehead disappearing, and the dizzying weariness making the world spin slowly.

I sighed, running a hair throw my hair for the thousandth time that night. My stomach rolled nauseously and I immediately regretted my harsh tone. It wasn't her fault.

"Of course not, Kim," I said quietly. I wearily collapsed on the old couch, letting my head fall back and my eyes close.

"You just sounded – never mind. I just wanted to tell you that my parents are inviting you to dinner tomorrow night. You still have the chance to refuse and back out, if you want to."

I frowned, fiddling with the curled cord of the phone. "Why would I do that?"

There was a pause before she started to stutter again. I was unnerved by her sudden wish to push me away from her family. "Well – last time there was a boyfriend over for dinner it didn't go so well. I just – I don't want you to be surprised if my mother decides that she doesn't like you and starts beating you with the lamp."

I chuckled lightly, feeling the world's pressure relieve me. I leaned into the phone, as though I would somehow become closer to her. "Kim, I want to meet your parents. I want to have dinner with them. It doesn't bother me if they don't like me. I mean, you're the only one that matters."

There was slight hesitation. "Well, I do want them to like you…"

I exhaled heavily, rubbing my eyes. "That came out wrong. Look, don't worry. Just relax and enjoy the ride, okay?"

"What does that mean?" she asked breathlessly. Her wary tone put me on edge again. I fucking _hated _making her upset.

I chuckled forcefully, trying to relieve tension. I shifted on the couch, further lounging back on the blue material. "It's a given that meeting the parents is stressful and nerve racking, so the best thing to do is just go with the flow and hope everything turns out okay."

"But, hoping won't get on my parents good side or - or keep the condiments from crossing over the table!"

I raised my eyebrows, grinning. "What?"

"Nothing," she said flustered. There was a rustle on the other line and a snapping of a door closing. "Just – I want them to like you."

"Me too," I admitted truthfully. "I swear I'm not going to do anything stupid that would make them hate me."

"Like feel me up in the hallway?"

I laughed. For a moment I was free, my chest light and I could breathe again. My mind started creating not-so-bad images of me and Kim and I became giddy. I wondered where that had come from. _"What?"_

"Nothing," she said, her voice shrill and embarrassed. She quickly mumbled something unintelligible about her sister andher stupid boyfriend.

"What, you don't want me to feel you up in the hallway?" I teased, grinning up at the ceiling. I picked at the seam on the cushion, wishing I was sitting next to her. She was too cute when she became flustered, her cheeks turned beet red. She was so innocent; it was refreshing she still had half a mind to become distraught over taboo subjects.

"_No!_ Well, yes – no! I mean, _no!"_ she cried, trying to wipe the images away with her vocals. Her mortification seeped into the phone, enough to where I could feel the heat of her blush.

"Uh-huh," I said, holding back another laugh. I tried to ease her. "Another time maybe."

She gasped, stuttering through another sentence. I couldn't make out the words, but let her tell me off.

Suddenly, there was a sharp noise from my mom's bedroom. I sat up, titling my head to the side, as though it would help me hear her better. Fear was sinking into the pit of my stomach – flashes of nights before, when she's woken and hadn't been able to fall back asleep.

I relaxed when I heard purr of her breathing, assured me that she was still sleeping undisrupted. I'd had enough with listening to her lie awake, staring at the shit in the box and remembering painful memories that were best left alone. I couldn't bear to feel the sound of her quiet sobbing, each tear threatening to rip me apart.

"Jared, just don't do anything stupid," she mumbled, heaving a sigh.

I raised my eyebrows, amused. "Like I do all the time?"

"That's not what I meant – "

"I know what you meant," I assured her quietly, still shaken from the scare. Her irregular breathing was a sign that she was panicking about this and it only made my chest tighten. "Just relax. It's just dinner. I'm just meeting them, telling them I like baseball and will work after high school and my mother's –"

I stopped, retracting the words before I said too much. I blanched, knowing I already did.

"You're mother's what, Jared?" Kim asked quietly. The familiar sound of pity leaked from her words and I instantly felt sick. _Anything but that._

"Never mind, it's not important," I muttered hurriedly. I cringed when the force of realities truth's hit me like a truck, making me woozy. My head started to spin. I fervently wished for that protection, that invisible shield that Kim created when I was around her, when it was just us - me and her.

"Is she okay? Are you okay, Jared?" she asked anxiously.

I heave a sigh, wondering if I told Kim all my problems, how the monsters ate away at us like acid, painfully stinging the wounds that hadn't healed over, if the shield would still protect me – us, from the harsh reality. It killed me to think about exposing such unforgiving coldness on her, to immerse her in my nightmare. I couldn't do that to her, she deserved better than that.

So, I blocked her out. I didn't lie, but I didn't tell her the whole truth either.

"Its fine, Kim," I said hastily, trying to change the subject. "I'll come over tomorrow and we'll have dinner with your parents and everything will be great."

"What aren't you telling me?" Kim said, holding on. I winced, begging her not to pry. "Please Jared, tell me. Maybe I can help."

"You can't," I said harshly. Guilt rose in my throat and I immediately regretted it. "I'm sorry, Kim. There isn't anything you can do."

She was quiet, the soft sound of her breathing assuring me she hadn't hung up. I suddenly stood up, brushing my hair back angrily. I started to pace, back and forth, back and forth.

"What happen?" she asked uncertainly, after a moment. Her voice sounded small, fragile, _and innocent._ I couldn't taint her, so I went with the edited version.

"My mom's been – uh – humming a different song these days," I murmured, wincing at the truth of my words. "I'm just worried about her, is all."

"Wouldn't humming be a good thing?" she said carefully. I heard her shift around, maybe on her bed, as though getting comfortable for a long night of storytelling. My stomach churched and I felt a sudden jerk in my chest, reminding me that I just couldn't willingly give her information that would case her distress. The last thing I wanted was her _pity._

"Yeah, well…" I trailed off, sitting on the edge of the couch. I leaned forward, supporting myself on my elbows resting on my knees before rubbing my face jadedly.

"Is she still sad?"

I stared at the blank TV, seeing the piles of folded clothes and piles of empty jugs of soap. I saw mom constantly cleaning, scrubbing away everything she couldn't forget, baking for Sue Clearwater, as though to tell her _'I understand.'_ I saw that stupid box full of painful recollections that refused to be shoved and buried away, that haunted and stung the wounds.

"Yeah," I whispered, choking back my own monster, the one that wanted to spill all over the floor and give up. That wasn't an option. "Yeah, she's still sad."

Kim was quiet, maybe soaking up what I told her. I felt nauseous, suddenly worrying that I'd sad too much. I yanked on my hair feeling stupid and fucked up.

"Are you sure I can't do anything?" she murmured hesitantly. "Do you want to – "

"Just don't worry about tomorrow, okay?" I said tightly, cutting her off. "Be excited."

"Jared – "

"Please Kim," I muttered, closing my eyes. "Please, I can't talk about this right now."

There was a pause, surrender. "If you're sure…"

I didn't answer.

---

I was on Kim's porch promptly at six thirty. I had on my best shirt, somewhat tamed hair, and the only pair of jeans I owned that didn't have a hole. I twirled a single carnation in my fingers, a silent apology to Kim for everything that I'd suddenly burden with – accidentally or intentionally. I knew that trying to have her parents accept me what stressful enough without the sudden worry of me and my other life.

My mom had woken that morning in a good mood, making sourdough pancakes with real maple syrup. Her humming wasn't as relaxed or soothing as I remembered it to be, but it was a nice change of tone to the constant reminder that my mother wasn't okay.

We'd talked quietly, exchanging news about each other – even if I withheld my secrets about the pack and she ignored the severity of her depression.

I was stupid enough to tell her that I was meeting Kim's parents that night.

She raised a salt and peppered eyebrow at me, her motherly smile twitching at her lips. "Now, why would you go and do something like that?"

I was eerie how she seemed to know, without me telling her. "I think it's time."

She grinned, wrinkles forming around her eyes. "Well, when were you planning on bringing her 'round here? I'd_ love_ to meet little Kimberly."

"Kim," I muttered, correcting her. "She doesn't like Kimberly."

She grinned at me, pausing in her pancake making.

"What, ma?" I growled, avoiding her eye. Even if the twinkle in her eye made my heart swell, her cheekiness was unappreciated.

"I assume you're meeting her mother, correct?" she asked, pouring me a glass of orange juice. I nodded dejectedly. "You can always tell her her house is beautiful and that she looks wonderful, to butter her up, of course."

I watched her wink at me, her smile never leaving her face.

"We like that you know," she said matter-a-factly. She started to hum, washing the mixing bowel out while she waited for the last pancake to finish cooking.

It was hard to believe that I'd seen her practically break down the day before, acting like a crazy woman with all her compulsive tiding and humming.

I exhaled heavily, rubbing the back of my neck. I hated to ask, but I was going to anyway. I had to know. "Are you okay, ma?"

"Well, now that you mention it," she huffed, giving me a mock glare. "You could bring your sweetheart over to the house so _I _can meet her."

I grimaced, swirling the leftover syrup on my plate with my fork. I did plan to bring Kim to meet my mom, but I was waiting for the right time, the right day. I didn't want her to know that my mom's moods swung dangerously low and could barely bring herself up afterwards, and that she was starting to have permanent bags under her eyes, almost always bloodshot from her silent tears. She was slipping away right in front of me. Kim wasn't allowed to see that.

She needed to see this mom, my ma. The one that made me sourdough pancakes and teased me about my girlfriend.

"Well?" she asked, her eyebrows rose at me.

"Soon," I promised hastily, standing. "Thanks for the food."

"Mm-hmm," she hummed, turning the radio on. A blues song came on, sweetening the moment.

When I'd finally gotten the balls to knock, there was muffled shuffling before Anna yanked the door open. She gave me a once over, her eyes drifting longer on the flower more than anything else before she gave me a sly smile, ushering me in.

"Kim's not ready," she stated, coming to stand in front of me. She cocked her hip and folded her arms across her chest. "My mother is hiding from you until the last possible second in the kitchen, and my dad should round the corner in about a second – his favorite show just ended. He might even be in a good mood if you're lucky!"

I gave her an easy smile. "Nice to see you again, too."

She laughed lightly, leaning towards me. "Kim's about to have a heart attack, but I just have to tell you she looks _stunning."_

"She always does," I said, titling my head to the side. "What makes this any different?"

Anna smirked at me, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Because I'm the one that dressed her."

"Well, then she'll be – "

"You must me Jared," a rough voice came from behind me.

I turned quickly to find a heavily built man, slightly taller than I was, with long hair pulled back into a pony tail at the nape of his neck. His chest was puffed out a bit and he took a defensive pose, with his arms crossed and jaw set. He obviously already hated me.

"Jared Thail," I greeted, sticking out my hand like my dad had taught me. Everything was based in a man's handshake.

"Brandon," the man said, roughly taking my hand. He had a firm grip that I matched, carefully pumping his arm before waiting for him to drop my hand. You always let the superior drop the hand first, a silent note of respect. He didn't drop it right away, but held it for a moment longer, long enough to take a jab at me. "But, you can call me _sir."_

I winced internally, giving him a nod to show I understood.

"Dad, be nice."

I glanced up and felt my breathing hitch. Anna wasn't lying.

"Kimmy, I'm supposed to be intimidating to the boys," Brandon stated. His tone softened when he spoke to his youngest daughter. "That way they're always gentleman."

Kim rolled her eyes, giving me a smile. "Jared's already a gentleman."

I tried not to flinch when he gave me a once over, not the same kind Anna had just given me moments before. I noticed she'd run off somewhere.

"Yeah," he said, giving me a hard look. "Let me decide that."

I gave him a polite smile, trying not let my tension show. This meeting was already the most stressful thing I'd ever done – even more than trying to tame an angry, hurt, and confused Leah werewolf.

Brandon huffed before walking off into the kitchen.

Kim took my hand, smiling up at me. Her hair was gently curled and she was wearing a flowy shirt, something different that her regular t-shirt. Her jeans were dark and fitting, tight enough that I had to force my eyes in one place so they wouldn't wander to where they shouldn't. I tried keeping holding her gaze, but I still felt the urge to wander – over the dark outlines of her brown eyes, to her long eyelashes, somehow longer than before, to the dangling earrings she was wearing, down her neck…

She was so_ fucking_ pretty.

"Want to leave yet?" she asked lightly. She tried to hide it, but her question weighed too heavily on the joke.

I raised the flower to her, watching her eyes light up and a soft smile grace her lips.

"Nope," I said quietly, leaning forward. I brushed my lips against her cheeks, feeling the heat rise. Her breathing sped and I chuckled against the skin on her neck, placing a light kiss there.

"You know, lover boy," Anna's voice called, jerking me upright. She was watching with a superior look. "When my boyfriend did that, he was practically _thrown_ out of the house."

I glanced sideways at Kim, wondering if that's what she was talking about on the phone – the groping and everything. The blush on her cheeks confirmed it.

"Bit of advice," Anna said, gesturing for us to follow her into the kitchen. "No contact in the house and/or while the parental units are around. Got it?"

I nodded, giving her a grin that she returned. "No problem, boss."

She chuckled, veering off into, what I thought was, the dining room. Just across from the stove, on the other side of the room, was a doorway where a room sat with a cabinet full of china. I figured that's where the hellish dinner would take place.

"Jared," Kim mumbled quietly, pulling me to the woman who cursed me out in the parking lot was stirring a pot of something violently. "This is my mother, Hannah."

Hannah glanced grudgingly at me, lazily holding out her hand. Her handshake wasn't as put together as her husbands, so I struggled with it but she didn't seem to notice. She yanked her hand back the moment she'd touched me long enough to show politeness.

"Pleasure seeing you again," she said testily, turning away from me almost immediately. I recognized _mad mom_ when I saw one.

I decided to put the pointless compliments my ma told me to say, to the test, to butter Hannah up a bit. "You're house is very nice, ma'am," I muttered, refusing to give up. She wouldn't hate me if I had anything to say about it.

She turned slightly to me, giving me a genuine smile for the first time. She looked pleasantly surprised. "Oh, well thank you Jared."

I gave her my most charming smile before letting Kim pull me into the dining room where Anna was laughing at me. I tried not to scowl at her.

"Jared has moves," she said, winking at me. I noticed Kim was gaping at me.

"What?" I asked, holding her chair out for her. I smiled at her, watching her cheeks flush.

"I – I – "She sat heavily, allowing me to push her in before I seated beside her. I tired looking innocent instead of flashing a cheeky smile. "What - what are you doing?"

"Having dinner," I said simply, taking her hand. I leaned close to her, my nose almost toughing hers, rubbing her palm with my thumb. "Just relax, alright?"

Her eyes only glazed over for a second before she nodded furiously, stuttering out, "Yeah, okay."

I leaned away, throwing Anna a wink before standing to help Hannah set the pot of tomato sauce on the table. I heard Anna snicker behind me.

"Smells awesome, ma'am," I said directly to Kim's mom, watching her bashfully wave me off. Mother like daughter – elastic to my charm.

Brandon came in a moment later, sitting heavily at the head of the table. Hannah had chosen to sit next to Anna, maybe to even the odds in a food fight.

"So Jared," Hannah offered, dishing me up some food. "You're in the same grade as Kimberly?"

"Yes, ma'am," I answered, starting to feel sick with all my sweetness. She seemed to like it, though. "I'll turn seventeen this September."

She nodded politely, heaping a pile on her husband's plate. He ate like me – in large amounts.

"You have your license?" Brandon grunted, eyeing me.

I nodded. "Yes, sir. I have a truck that was – "

I stopped, catching myself before I said _dad's._ I swallowed past the lump in my throat, noting that wasn't a safe topic.

"This is great, mom," Kim butted in, covering up my pause. I squeezed her hand that I was still holding in my lap, giving her my thanks. She squeezed back.

It was painful conversation after that. I was asked about what I wanted to do after high school, why I wasn't going to college, and so on and so forth. I made a point at avoiding anything to do with my parents, instead letting Kim jump in and brag about my redeeming qualities. I wasn't aware that everything I did was perfect in Kim's eyes – she raised the bar uncomfortably high.

"He likes jazz, too, Dad," she continued, babbling about how good of a driver I was, how good of a teacher I was, and a few other things that I hadn't noticed she'd noticed – like that I was good at baseball.

"Baseball, huh?" Brandon muttered, taking a swig from his beer. "You on the school team?"

"Used to be," I said. "I can't anymore because of an arm injury."

He grunted, nodding slightly at my lie. "Pity."

"Yeah, I really loved it," I said honestly, frowning slightly. It was one of the only things that I resented about being a werewolf. We weren't allowed to play sports, seeing that Sam thought we were an unfair advantage – even after I told him I'd slow up. It was a risk though, and Sam didn't take risks when he didn't have to.

"I was on the school team," Brandon said, nodding his head again. "I was a pitcher. Senior year, one game I just pitched one too many times, you know?"

I cringed. "Had a friend that did that," I said, feeling at ease with a safe topic. "You ever play again?"

He shook his head, leaning back in his seat. "It was one of the last games," he explained. "We didn't make it to the playoffs and it was my senior year, so I didn't miss much."

"Do you like to do anything else?" Hannah asked. I glanced around, noticing there was uncomfortable shifting amongst the ladies.

"Friend of mine, Jacob Black?" I got a nod from both parents. "Well, he's teaching me how to fix cars. He's a great mechanic – building his own car."

"Is that right?" Brandon asked, giving me a crooked grin. "Billy hasn't said anything. I'd bring my old ford over to have him work on it if I knew! I'd even pay him!"

"He'd like that," I said, sure that Jacob would love to work on someone's car for a bit of cash.

There were no more hard looks coming from the head of table anymore, so I took that as a good sign. I had a feeling I was shaping up to be a better boy that I was originally deemed with. Easy conversation flowed with Kim's dad, easier than I thought it would be. Occasionally Hannah, Anna, or Kim would add something, but it was usually the man of the house questioning me on my life.

After dinner, I helped clear the table and Kim with the dishes. I teased her a little, trying to get her stiffened form to relax a little, by splashing her lightly with bubbles or tickling her sides. Sometimes I'd sneak a kiss and she'd wobble for a moment before giving me her pretty smile. By the time we were done, she was grinning and looking more comfortable. Mission accomplished.

I took her hand, kissing the back of it when we went to join the rest of her family on the living room.

"They seem to like you," she said hushed, smiling at me.

"Well, I haven't groped you yet," I muttered, winking at her.

She gasped, blushed deeply. I chuckled quietly, letting my nose lightly pass over the redness before giving her a kiss on her cheek. She grumbled about stupid boyfriends, before pulling me into the living room.

Kim's mom roped me into playing dominos that actually turned into being really fun. It was hard learning it at first because when Kim patiently told me the rule, I got catch up in watching her curls tumble down her back, the pout of her lip, or the way she seemed to watch me from under her fucking eyelashes. At one point I had to think about granny underwear and cat vomit before I could think straight again, if you know what I mean.

After an hour and half, Anna winning and Brandon loosing sourly, he called me into his office while Kim and Anna helped Hannah dish up ice cream.

I probably should have been nervous, but I figured out long ago that Brandon wasn't even halfway as scary as Sam was when he was irritated. And besides, Brandon seemed to like me.

His expression hardened slightly when he closed the door behind me, but not like it was when I had first met him.

"Look boy," he said firmly, standing in front of my with his arms crossed. I copied him, trying to look attentive. "You should know by now that I don't take crap from boys that date my daughters. I have expectations about how they are to be treated at all times and if I hear anything less; you'll have me to deal with. Is that clear?"

"Crystal," I replied calmly. "You don't have to worry about a thing. I understand that Kim deserves nothing less."

He watched me for a moment before continuing, his voice firm. "I don't care if you're some golden boy in the elder's eyes – you'll be treated just like everyone else around here."

I frowned, back peddling. "Sir, I don't expect to be treated any differently. I do some work for the council, that's all."

"Sam speaks highly of you," He muttered, nodding his head a couple times. "Best not screw that up."

I grinned wirily at him. "I'll try not to."

"Kim – Kimmy likes you too," he said, hardening a bit. "Don't you dare hurt her, you hear? She's fragile and she's new at this."

"Wouldn't dream of it," I said seriously. "You have my word."

He nodded at me, giving me a friendly grin. He shook my hand before clapping me on the back. I suddenly felt like a boy again, being greeted by my dad after a good baseball game. "You're a good boy, Jared."

---

It was eleven before Kim walked me out to my truck. I held her hand, studying how her fingers seemed to fit perfectly in-between mine. We just stood there for a moment, the chilly air made Kim shift slightly closer to me. I twirled my arm, so I was still holding her hand and had the same arm across her shoulders, holding her close to me.

"Thanks Jared," she muttered, although I had a feeling it wasn't about the weather.

"You're welcome," I said, giving her a squeeze. I looked down at the top of her head, her curls still making me crazy. "It was fun."

"I was surprised my dad liked you so much," she admitted.

"I told you," I said, mock sighing. "It's because you warned me not to feel you up."

She groaned, burning her face in my chest while I chuckled at her. "You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"Nope," I said, popping the P. I leaned forward, letting her hand go so I could hold her hand in both my hands. I grinned at her, watching her smile dizzily at me before I leaned closer, craving her taste and feel. I smirked when she immediately closed her eyes. Her sigh made a chill run down my shine, but I didn't stop. I started to kiss her softly, loving how soft and fragile she was. I tried not to groan when I felt her hands start tangling in my hair and she instinctively pulled me closer. I liked how she wrapped herself around me so I was just enveloped in her.

She really didn't know what she did to me. I leaned forward still, forcing her to take a step back into the truck with a small thud and pressed against her, liking the way all her points touched me like they did.

She was all there, warm and soft. She was still pulling me closer subconsciously as her head rolled to the side and I started kissing my way down her neck. I like the soft pulse under her skin, sending my nerve endings on fire as I traced my way down her small stature. Her skin was rough with goosebumps when I traced my way up under her shirt. My mind was foggy with the raw yearning for _more _of her, just more, always more. I needed her to function, to greasy my achy joints and smooth the pointy edges of my mind.

Every noise sent my mind off into another thought, coursing down until it totally disappeared into the air, lost in another noise. It created red in my vision and I was determined to make another noise.

I suddenly felt that annoying alarm in the back of my head. It warned me that soon I was going down a path we both didn't want to travel from such an innocent kiss. I didn't want to do something she'd regret. Especially in front of her house, on the side of my truck, after just having a talk with her father.

So, with the will I yanked from every fiber of my being, pulled away and opened my eyes. I regretted it, noticing the way her curled hair was disheveled and her lips red and slightly swollen. Her eyes weren't completely open yet and the soft smile on her face confirmed she was just as dazed as I was. Knowing I did it only made the feeling grow and I wanted to kiss her again, that craving and hungry strong in my chest.

_Yeah,_ I thought, setting her down on her feet. I didn't remember picking her up. _She doesn't know what she does to me. _

"Should go," I croaked hoarsely, taking a step back. I ran a trembling hand through my hair, looking away from my pretty girl.

"Oh," she said. I glanced over her, noticing she was frowning a bit.

That wouldn't do.

I kissed her cheek, lingering longer than necessary until her smile was wide. It was almost too long since it ached to pull away from her soft skin, pleasant smell…

_Yeah, I have to leave. _

"I'll call you later," I whispered to her, giving her a kiss below her ear. She swayed slightly, nodding lazily a couple times.

I hesitated, before giving her a tight hug. I didn't want to leave her. I knew I couldn't see her that night; Sam wanted me working until early that morning. I sighed into her hair, feeling the familiar ache already – always when I left her. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she said instantly. There was so hesitation, no uncertainty.

I sighed again, grinning hard. I let her go reluctantly and watched her stumbled up the porch. When she turned, giving me a final wave I jumped into my truck.

I blew her a kiss, just to see her blush – which she did – and chuckled as she stumbled back into the house. I exhale noisily, letting my head rest on the steering wheel for a moment while I patted myself on the back for a nigh well done. To think I wasn't going to make it out alive…

I started the truck, grinning like the fool I was. Funny how out of all the girls, the only one that mattered made me care about meeting parents and made my head spin from a kiss that turned me into a fucking _idiot. _

I laughed, feeling too happy. I hoped she knew just how much I really did love her.

_My girl._

* * *

**author's note: **_I have no excuse for not updating since February, so I'm going to beg for forgiveness. My pathetic attempt to avoid complaining is that I've been SUPER busy and I've had a bit of writer's block about the dinner. I had to force myself to write this, no joke, so if it's crap, don't even worry about it – but please keep in mind that I did throw in some fluff and a very hot kiss… ;)_

_Oh, and surprise! I can't remember if I told you it was from Jared's POV – so they you go, a little treat for you. _

_**PLEASE READ – even if you usually skip my AN (You know who you are):**_

I don't know about you, but I haven't been into this story lately for some reason. Maybe it's because I'm so busy, but I'm starting to realize that maybe the story ended a couple chapters back and now I'm just dragging it out. My intention was to show how Kim and Jared got together – not go into their lives.

So, I ask you my readers, how are you feeling about this story? Is it losing its thunder? What can I do to make it better? Is there something that you're all dying to see?

I'll have you know that meeting the pack is next, a chapter with something that I'm not giving away, meeting Jared's mom, meeting the pack, the bonfire, and then, maybe, what happen in eclipse. That's my plan, so maybe five chapters at the most?

_But, we'll have time for that later. Enjoy this chapter and don't forget to __**review**__ – and tell me all about how you hated/loved/eh about this chapter!_

_I want to let you all know what I'm extremely grateful for all the wonderful 900 reviews I've gotten! You can't begin to understand how mind-boggling it is to have so many reviews… I think my last story got about 100. Ha. You're all fantastic. _

_Thanks, Little Black Dress_

_Btw – After having a mini blizzard, a dour pour, and then some marble size hail fall, it's finally sunny in Seattle today. It's fan-fucking-tastic. :D_


	25. Chapter Twentytwo: Barbeque Part 1

_**IMPORTANT Note – PLEASE READ!! DON'T SKIP:**__oh, and the The playlist is Fleet Foxes, Bon Iver, and Weezer. _

_My note is that I've finally got some sort of time line – so pretend my confused hints that it's beginning of April for the last ten chapters. This is my first real full length story that's over ten chapters, so please try and forgive me for my amateur mistakes. Trust me when I say, my next story won't be so disorganized. _

_This takes place either the last week of April, or the starting of May. _

_I have to apologize because when I finally got some time and actually went back and looked through the book in detail, I realized Seth hadn't phased until after the Bonfire. I'm surprised none of you called me out on it!_

_Also, I don't know what I was thinking, so I wrote Collin and Brady into this. I realize now that they weren't phased yet, so they really shouldn't be in the story. Please don't review telling me how I epically failed. I thought of everything I could to change this around so they wouldn't be in it, but it didn't work like I planned and I didn't want to take another month to fix it – I have no idea when my next break will be. So, I'm sorry I've suddenly lost my mind. I'm going to ask you to please excuse my mistakes and pretend I didn't totally just screwed up my entire story… maybe someday I'll rewrite it so it's in canon. _

_**Just enjoy**__– you have no idea how much blood, sweat, and tears into this. (okay, maybe not tears… but many paper cuts and hours that weren't meant to be writing.. stories. more like essays. Haha :))_

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Two – Barbeque (Part 1):

_Hoodwink - (tran. verb) trick somebody; to deceive or dupe somebody especially by trickery_

The phone buzzed annoyingly, waking me from a dreamless sleep. My head was fuzzy and my mouth felt like it was filled with cotton, so I didn't bother dragging my lethargic body out of bed. I pawed the bed side table for the phone to stop the ringing.

"Hello?" I muttered, moving my tongue around my dried lips. I wasn't a beauty queen in the morning and it was one of those times that I silently thanked the heavens that Jared hadn't woken with me to find a monster in his arms. That would be so embarrassing.

"Hey Kim," Jenny's voice floated through the phone. It had been a late night last night, giggling with Anna on her bed after Jared left – and his knee weakening, thought crushing kiss – and talking about how smooth he'd been winning my dad over. I was so proud of him.

So, with Jenny's call so early in the morning, I grew irritated that she'd bother me.

"What's up?" I muttered after she didn't say anything. There was only her heavy breath blowing into the phone.

"Look, I need to talk to you about something…"

There was a pause and I fought an aggravated sigh. I propped myself up on my elbows. "Yes?"

She started to stutter. "Well, I was just – you know when we… I was just thinking – how was your night last night? Didn't Jared have – have dinner or something?"

I frowned. Jenny didn't trip over her words – that was me. "Uh, yeah. It went really well, my parents like him now – well, as much as they should like my boyfriend."

I grinned at the word boyfriend._Boyfriend. Jared Thail is my boyfriend._

"Oh, that's nice."

There was a pause and I had a feeling that's not what she wanted to talk to me about. As much as she'd warmed up to the idea of Jared, she hadn't been keen on discussing him like Anna wanted to all the time.

"Yeah," I said after a moment, trying to fill the silence. I paused, giving her a chance to speak up again. "So, I'll see you later then?"

She hesitated. There was silence, even her breathing stopped. There was a muffle noise and some heavy breathing before, "Uh, yeah. I'll just – just see you later."

I hung up, frowning at my pillow. _What was that?_

I didn't think too much on it and groaned when I realized it wasn't even seven on a Sunday yet. I collapsed back into my pillows and tried to sleep.

It was ten minutes before I grew impatient and decided to give up. I threw on a sweatshirt and patted down the stairs, hugging myself to protect my little warmth from the morning chill. I flipped the switch on the heater before rummaging around the cabinets for some oatmeal. I carefully made it, taking my time to drag out the process. I guess I was trying to make it to a suitable time to call Jared – the last time I'd called him on a whim he'd answered angrily and I didn't want to impose on him again like that. Obviously he was purposely keeping something from me. It unnerved me and it was slightly insulting that he didn't seem to trust me with whatever was bothering him.

It was, again, a time where I wished I'd had a girlfriend that wasn't my sister, to who I could talk to about this. I couldn't say anything to Jenny or Anna because if it was Jared's werewolfism that tampered with his mood, I sure couldn't discuss that with anyone. I'd be shipped off to a mental facility before I could even get through the story.

I sighed, frowning into my oatmeal mush. It still surprised me that I believed it. I should have been thinking I was crazy and hallucinating, but seeing it for myself and even Paul confirming it, it just seemed too real to ignore.

_Maybe that's why he's not talking to you_, I thought, swirling my breakfast around with my spoon. Maybe Jared thought I couldn't handle it and would react badly. Or, maybe he was keeping it a secret because I really couldn't know – like maybe he liked someone else…

I shook my head, trying to get rid of that thought. Never in the years that I silently stalked him did I ever hear him going over to a girl's house to meet her parents. I could have been the special case, but it seemed unlikely that he'd put so much effort into a girl that he didn't even care for – and he'd made it pretty clear that he cared, a lot. I needed to stop the 'what if' questions before they tore me apart…

"What are you doing up so early?" Anna muttered, walking past me to the coffee maker. She grumbled before switching it on.

Only in the mornings was it that Anna looked like a complete wreck, with makeup smeared all across her face and her hair plastered up at weird angles. It was the one time she didn't care about her appearance, maybe because she wasn't a morning person. I found it odd when she was so disheveled when usually she had every detail perfect – no wrinkles or smeared eyeliner, not even a shoelace slipping out of its knot.

"Jenny called me," I murmured, watching her find a Poptart and the orange juice. "I couldn't sleep."

"Thinking of your man?" she asked slyly, winking at me.

I rolled my eyes and fought the grin seeping onto my face. "Anna, please."

"What?" she mocked, sitting next to me. "Don't tell me you don't dream about him shirtless!"

I blushed. I hated that I was so predictable. Was there any girl that didn't dream of her fantasy guy shirtless? "No…"

She chuckled and started shoving Poptart in her mouth. "Have you called him today?"

I looked away from disgust, and flicked a flake off the counter away from me. "No, not yet. He's not a morning person…"

She knew I was lying. "Call him anyway! He won't care."

"Well…" I watched her inspect me, raising her eyebrow at me suspiciously. "Okay, I will in a minute."

She exhaled loudly and gave me a look that went right through me. I shifted, trying to avoid her glare, but eventually patted over to the phone.

I stared at the phone for a moment, wondering which number to call – his cell or home phone – before deciding I would call him cell phone. He'd mentioned once a place called The Little House that I was almost sure wasn't his house. I'd much rather meet his voicemail that try to have a nerve racking conversation with his mother, telling me he wasn't home.

The phone rang twice before his husky voice hit me. "Hello Kim."

I grinned in spite of myself, blushing and watching my toe twirl on the floor bashfully. "Hey Jared."

Anna giggled at me and I glared at her, turning around so my back was to her. I heard her try to stifle her snickers, but her noise still made my cheeks burn brightly.

"What's up?" he asked, his voice rougher than normal. I tugged my hair nervously, hoping I wasn't bothering him.

"I was just wondering what you were doing today. I hope it's not too early…" I bit my bottom lip and held my breath.

"It's never too early," he replied. I sighed, grinning again. "Actually, I had to – to work last night so I haven't had a chance to get to bed yet. I'm glad you called because – wait, are you not coming to the barbeque?"

I frowned, tracing the cold burner of the stove with one of my fingers. "Barbeque?"

"Yeah, didn't Paul invite you? I could have sworn he did…"

I blanched, remembering that day when he'd apologized. _That was today!?_

"Oh, yeah, I remember," I said, trying to save it. I tried not to pass out at the thought of hanging around Sam Uley all day. "I just… forgot."

"Are you still coming? Because Emily will probably curse me out if you don't. She's been dying to meet you – even going as far as withholding her baking from me. Don't make me miss another muffin, Kim! I can't take it anymore!"

I laughed nervously, trying to feel the effects of his soothing. I knew he felt my panic, even through the phone, at the thought of meeting everyone he looked up too and all his friends he loved – and I knew there was a lot. He called it a 'pack' and a pack had lots of members. My stomach flopped to the floor at the thought of meeting all those people. _What if they don't like me?_

Jared was quiet for a moment before me muttered gently, "You don't have to come if you don't want to, Kim. I wouldn't care, you know that."

"No, no," I muttered, avoiding Anna's confused look. "I just – I'd love to go."

"You're not a very good liar," Jared said instantly. His voice was light and teasing.

"Sorry," I mumbled, blushing as he laughed. I felt my courage come to me slightly and my stomach unclenched slightly. "I'll try harder next time."

"Why don't you want to come? It'll be fun! You'll like Emily. She's gotta be the nicest lady you'll ever meet."

I walked away from Anna, trying to avoid the pressure she put on me when she hovered over my shoulder. She watched me leave with a frown and crossed her arms before chugging her orange juice.

"I just – I'm not good with meeting people. I'm too – " 'I'm too nerdy' would definitely not cut it with Jared, so I went with the obvious – "shy. I don't want to give anyone the wrong impression…"

He snorted on the other line. "Kim, I – "

I waited, listening to some arguing on the other line and a "f --- off" from Jared, before a door was slammed. The hum in the background was now quiet and his breathing became more noticeable.

"Sorry," he apologized quietly. I heard a chair squeak as he probably sat down. "The guys are… stupid sometimes. But, really you don't have to fancy yourself up and care about what these losers think of you. And, anyway, you already know like half of them. What's a couple more?"

He was convincing me and I let him. I had to fight left in me and a day with Jared didn't seem so bad. What were a couple more people, anyway? And, these were the people he loved, why couldn't I be a part of that?

"Alright," I said weakly. "I'll come. When is it?"

"In three hours. I'm going to nap and then I'll pick you up around noon. Sound okay?"

I gulped and nodded to the blank TV. A cold sweat broke out on my skin and I looked up for Anna – maybe she could help me get ready.

"Dress casual, Kim. Trust me, you'll be kicking yourself if you wear a skirt or something," Jared said, answering my thoughts. _How'd he do that?_

I glanced out the window, noticing a light rain dusting the streets. I'd never been to a barbeque in poor weather before. They were always scheduled last minute when the sun was out or it wasn't raining, just lighter than usual with the gray cloud cover. "Rain gear?"

Jared chuckled and I knew it was a stupid question. "Of course."

---

It took me two hours to try, and retry, on every piece of clothing I owned, freak out over the loss of my favorite sweatshirt that I was convinced I had to wear, only to toss that away the moment I found it and settle for my grey sweater that was thick and wholly so if it got wet, I'd still be warm; tame my curls into flowing down my back perfectly, then into a ponytail, then, finally, into a messy bun; stab myself in the eye a couple times with my mascara; and crawl around on my hands and knees trying to find my left shoe. I finally found it where I found the right one – by the door.

"You're wearing those?"

I looked up to find Anna looking sparkling in a purple flowy shirt, skinny jeans, and glossy heels. Her hair was straight and shiny down her back, and her makeup looked professionally done. She was perfect and gorgeous in half the time I was.

"Where are _you_ going?" I muttered, jealous that I couldn't look like that. I felt a twinge in my stomach at Jared seeing Anna like that. _Would he like her better than me?_

She sighed, shrugging tragically. "No where, unfortunately. Mom told me I violated the curfew a couple nights ago, so I'm not allowed to go anywhere."

"Anyone coming over?" My stomach dropped sickeningly onto the floor at her confession. I needed a reason other than lounging around the house as for why she looked the way she did – like a _model._

She sighed again, shrugging. "Probably not. I'm hoping Sean can come over, but I'm sure mom's in a foul mood. Did you hear her in there?"

She pointed to the kitchen. I followed her finger, hearing mumbling and the low screech of the shredder. She was paying bills.

"Bills, I think," Anna mumbled echoing my thoughts. She frowned. "Probably the heating bill and the car payment – those usually make her nasty."

I grunted in reply, staring at her heels. How she was able to stand and walk in them, I would never know.

"Why do you ask? Do you not want me to go anywhere?"

My cheeks heated and I glared at my shoes. "No reason."

"You didn't answer my question," she snapped at me a minute later. She walked toward me impatiently, the click of her heels on the hardwood and the sway of her hips. I tried not to pout at how put together she was while I was the pathetic sister that looked more like a boy in skinny jeans and a baggy sweater. I'll admit the sweater was comfortable and soft to the touch, but it was nothing like cleavage and curves.

"What was your question?" I muttered, flopping to the floor to pull on my old converse. The bottom of them was starting to peel and I noted to myself that I needed a new pair.

"Are you really wearing those shoes out to a barbeque with your boyfriend that you'll be meeting everyone at?" She wrinkled her nose at the shoes, like they were doing something foul by just existing.

I looked down at them, running my finger along the missing rubber and dirt stains.

Anna lectured me for twenty minutes about how shoes make the girl. Then, for ten minutes, she ranted about my gray sweater that 'did nothing for me' and how I should wear hers that was tight and pink. I refused because just by looking at it, I felt like I was suffocating. I knew she was trying to help, but I knew that if I tried to act like Anna, I'd only end up making myself look like a fool. Prancing around in heels and swinging my hips would have just looked ridiculous.

Thankfully, a knock on the door at ten to noon, cut Anna off before she could starting grooming me. She had already started to dust my sweater and tug at my hair and I wasn't sure if I could fight her off – she was slightly taller than I was and was wearing three inch _weapons._

I yanked open the door, sighing in relief when Anna stopped talking. I took a moment to stare at the boy behind the door though because it wasn't Jared. I didn't recognize him.

"Hey," I muttered, tugging at my sweater.

The boy gave me a toothy grin, almost lethargic looking with his hooded eyes and relaxed expression. He was big like Jared, only smaller and more compact. He was younger than Jared, but had his head shaved like Jared's after he came back from being lost for two weeks.

The boy looked over his shoulder, maybe noticing my timid, unsure look. My eyes drifted around him where Jared was taking the porch stairs two at a time. I didn't quite recognize him either for he was wearing a backwards baseball cap, but, even not knowing his identity, he made my breathing irregular and my stomach flutter helplessly.

"Hey Kim," he said, stopping in front of me. He looked so handsome in his hoodie and old t-shirt. His jeans were ratty again and I took a deep breath, feeling the familiarity creep back into my system. Seeing him all dressed up the night before catapulted me somewhere else and I felt a little lost.

I smiled at him, giving him a shy wave. I was still highly aware of the foreign person standing next to him.

"This is Brady," he introduced, pointing to the boy. Brady gave me another smile, muttering his greetings. "Collin is in the truck," Jared muttered, leaning closer to me as if to share a secret. "He's a little shy."

Anna giggled behind me when Jared winked at me, making the world go out of focus for a second and my heart pound loudly in my chest.

"Anna," Jared greeted, nodding to her once. His eyes only lingered for a moment before they were back on me, giving me a once over. I felt my breath come back when I noticed he didn't drool over her polished self, but instead looked at her like she was just a distraction.

Something flickered behind his eyes, making him frowning slightly, before he asked, "Will you be warm enough?"

"Will you?" I countered. I waved to Anna before shutting the door and following Jared and Brady to the truck. Both boys laughed like I'd just said something really funny, hugging their sides and giving me a look that said,_ 'good one.'_ I didn't know why it was funny, but I tried to smile like that was my intention all along.

Jared watched me for a half second longer than Brady did, but took my hand and helped me into the passenger seat without a word. When his hand touched mine, I remembered that he was hot like an oven and I shouldn't have to worry about him ever being cold – even in a blizzard. I felt stupid for suggesting the idea and was glad they'd thought it as a joke. However, Jared watched me like he was reading my mind, knowing me for what I really was. _An idiot._ He gave me a soft smile that weakened my knees, maybe knowing I'd caught myself in my unintentional bluff.

"Emily was packing blankets in her van last night, so I think we'll all be okay if the weather gets worse," Jared muttered, hopping into the driver's seat. He glanced at me, giving me small smile, confirming that he really did read my mind.

"They both are in my neighborhood and they both needed rides," Jared explained, jerking a thumb into the back seats, before starting the truck. He glanced back in his rear view mirror. "Did you say hi to Kim, Collin?"

I swiveled in my seat to see the embarrassed boy, avoiding my eye and giving me a little wave, a pink color coloring his young cheeks. He was cute and I instantly liked him.

"Hey Collin," I said, giving him a friendly smile. He seemed to unravel from his shell a little before returning the smile, showing perfectly white teeth.

How was it that I was the only one stuck with horrible teeth that required years of braces that added up to be more than my dad's car – which we were still paying off!?

"They're new to the pack," Jared muttered, glancing in the mirror. "Right boys?"

They both grunted, leaning relaxed in the back with the windows all the way down. The wind blew their short hair out of their eyes and their content expressions. My heart ached for a moment, noticing they both couldn't have been more than thirteen.

I looked up at Jared, wanting to ask if they confronted vampires too, if there were boys younger than thirteen, and if it was dangerous work that they did at all hours of the night. I wanted to ask how they got away with hanging out in the darkest parts of the woods and how they avoided their mother's questions. But, I didn't because if they were stupid questions, I didn't want to ask them in front of the other boys. I didn't want to be _stupid Kim._

I did blurt out my next thought, unable to hold it in. "You didn't disappear this time."

Jared glanced sideways at me, frowning. "What's that suppose to mean?"

I blushed, looking down at my tangled hands in my lap. Old memories flickered behind my eyes. "Well, when you phased, you disappeared. When the others did, Embry and Phil –

"Quil," Jared cut in patiently, giving me an amused smile. "His name is Quil."

" – right, and when Seth phased, you were gone for like a week. So for these two, why didn't you leave?"

"I was only gone for that week because Leah phased too, remember? Now that there's so many of us, it doesn't take most of us to calm someone down. Sam had it the hardest because he didn't have anyone to help guide him into phasing back or keeping his temper down – that's when Emily – "

He stopped, turning his head away from me. Brady snorted, shaking it head.

"Embry, Quil, Sam, and Seth were with me. I think Jacob, Leah, and Paul were with Collin. Jared, didn't you come later?"

I watched Jared's expression turn indifferent before he nodded. "Yeah, later. Sam just wanted emotional support." He looked at me, trying to smile to ease my uneasiness. "That's where I was all night. Collin – " He glanced in the review mirror, giving him a real smile. " – had a disagreement with – who was it? Paul?"

Collin nodded, scowling.

"Yeah, so I was just there so Paul didn't kill the little guy." Jared's chair was kicked by the boy behind him at the nickname. Collin crossed his arms and glared at the window. Jared, I noticed, was trying not to laugh at him.

I sighed, processing what they just told me. All of it was confusing. Most of the time I figured out later that I didn't want all the details and would rather stay in the dark. It was unsettling that Jared wasn't doing is homework, watching TV, or sleeping when I was.

I glanced out the window and tried to keep from heaving up my oatmeal. I hated been able to finish it, but I thought of that as a good thing.

Jared suddenly gripped my hand, playing with my fingers without taking his eyes off the road. I watched him stare calmly out the window, like touching me wasn't sending chills down his spine, disrupting his breathing, and causing his butterflies to flutter violently. My nerves were overrun by the feeling of just him and I smiled, feeling more relaxed. I knew I was being pathetic, but it was too good of a sensation not to enjoy.

"Excited?" he asked quietly, giving me a glance at the stoplight. His eyes were soft and I noted dark shadows under them. I wondered how long his nap had been and if he'd been able to sleep at all.

I shrugged, smiling as best as I could at him. The butterflies fluttered, making their presences known. They weren't tearing my insides up anymore, but they could have been if he let me go. I gripped his hand tight, watching the gray beach come into sight – closer and closer and_ closer…_

Suddenly, a question popped in my head. "Am I the only imprint?"

Jared's eyes drifted to the review mirror, before flickering back to me. He looked uneasy by my question.

"Well, no," he said carefully. His expression was troubled, wrinkling his forehead and turning his smile upside-down. "Sam's imprinted on Emily."

I vaguely heard my mother's voice, talking to Mrs. Kip who lived across the street, when Sam Uley first went missing, and then starting stalking Emily Young – Leah Clearwater's cousin. It was hot gossip and my mom didn't shut up about it for weeks. It wasn't until my dad mentioned Emily might be pregnant, that night my mom had freaked out about Jared, that she found a reason why. I knew it wasn't true, Emily never grew bigger and most of the stuff the ladies in the grocery store talked about never had fact behind the fiction.

"Is that all?" I asked quietly, hoping that maybe I'd found an out of being the center of attention. Maybe I wouldn't be the only one meeting the pack for the first time.

Jared looked away from me, purposely avoiding my eye. "Quil's imprinted."

I sat a little straighter. I felt my smile grow. "On who?"

He stared out the window for a minute, shifting in his seat. He glanced in the review mirror and I noticed the boys in the back were being quiet – maybe to stay out of the conversation. I became nervous, feeling nervous sweat form on the back of my neck. Was this what he kept from me?

"Now Kim," Jared said slowly. He shifted in his seat, switching the hands he held the steering wheel with. He used his free hand to run it through his hair. "Don't – don't judge him, but he imprinted on Emily's two year old niece, Claire."

I didn't say anything.

"It's not creepy," he said hastily, his eyes flickering from me to the road. "I – I can't explain it to you. He loves her, but more like a little sister, someone to protect. He'll be her big brother until she wants something else –"

I had to admit the idea was a little grotesque, but wasn't this imprinting thing already strange? Sam, apparently, fell hard for his going-to-be fiancée's cousin, and Jared fell for me, a stranger who he barely knew the name of. Thinking back on it, he hadn't known my name – and I'd known him since kindergarten!

"What if she doesn't want anything else?" I whispered. It seemed unfair that she seemed to have no say in the matter. "What if she doesn't love him like he loves her?"

"I told you before," Jared said patiently. His shoulders slumped slightly as though thinking of something depressing. "He just wants her to be happy. He'll gladly stay a big brother if that's what she wants. But, she won't, she'll want more. He's her perfect half, her soul mate."

"How do you know?" I argued. I felt very defensive of this little girl. Why didn't she get a choice? "You said you didn't know – "

"Oh, I know," He said seriously. He stopped for the stop sign, slowly making his way down the streets – way under the speed limit. It was obvious he wanted me to understand before I met the boy. "I don't have to read Quil's thoughts to know what he's going through – even if our imprints are all different ages. It's all the same. Some days it's painful when I wake up because I just have to see you – to know you're safe. I just _have _to make you happy. It's not a want, it's a necessity!"

I blushed at his words. I heard the boys in the back shift around uneasily. They didn't like the tense atmosphere just as much as it made me sick to my stomach.

"Quil was freaked out about it too, but knowing his thoughts, they're not… pedophile weird or anything. Just – just loving," Jared said quietly, with finality.

"Is she the only one besides me?" I asked, feeling more reassured about this whole thing.

Jared shook his head. "Just Emily."

"Is that why Sam left Leah?" I asked in a quiet voice. Information clicked into place and a corner of the mystery was lit and glowing. I no longer felt like I was drowning, but starting to tread water.

"Yes," Jared muttered, looking away again. That look came back into his eye, making his expression distressed. Brady snorted again in the back. "It's still painful for him, so – so don't bring it up or anything."

I snorted, rolling my eyes. "Oh, hey Sam! Yeah, it's great to see you again. And, oh! That's right… is it true you ditched your long term girlfriend Leah Clearwater for her cousin?"

The boys in the back snorted with concealed laughter. Jared rolled his eyes, his eyes softening again. He took a deep breath, pushing his hair back from his eyes.

"You know what I mean," he mumbled, smiling at me.

I grinned at him, only to suddenly feel my heart plummet to the ground when the truck came to a stop. I hadn't noticed the other trucks and a blue van parked in the usually empty beach lot. I hadn't noticed the soft rumble of the waves or the anxious mutters coming from the back of the truck where Collin and Brady were bouncing in their seats in excitment.

Jared cut the engine, making the waves on the shore sound more like a distance thunder clap. I heard voices muffled in the distance where a group was huddled in the grass space, right before the sandy beach started. Jared took my hand, kissing the back of it before giving it a gentle squeeze.

We were at the barbeque. _Great…_

* * *

**author's note**_: I have a few things I'd like to address. Sorry this is so beastly, but please read. It's important. _

_1) HAVE YOU SEEN THE WEREWOLF BOYS!!??? Holy fucking shit are they __GOREGOUS!!!__ Oh my god, they make me squeal like a possessed fan girl!! _

_If you haven't seen them, what the hell are you waiting for!? Seriously, looked up Chaske Spencer or Alex Meraz and you'll see them walking down the street all cool…_

_They really are that amazing. Ahaha…_

_2) I just want to make it clear that this is a__** T (PG-13) RATED **__story. As the kissing continues, I get reviews telling me how excited they are about the sex coming up or other M –rated things. I'm just telling you now – I will never write any sort of sexual stuff. I'm barely comfortable with writing kissing let alone a full blown lemon. That is half the reason this is T and not M. So, I'm sorry to disappoint those who are expected a little more from Jared and Kim, but their… intimate moments stop short at making out. If I do make them have sex, it will be mentioned without all the details to keep this PG-13. _

_3) Keep in mind that Kim is still self conscious and doesn't think she's anything like Anna – who sees her as this confident, beauty that can make a man faint. _

_Also, remember not to tell me that I'm a complete failure for screwing up the werewolf boys' time of phasing… I understand – no need to rub it in my face. _

_4) Finally, I wanted to thank you all for being honest with me. I got a lot of reviews telling me that yes; I'm at the end of my story and therefore should end it. With that in mind, I'm going to go ahead and go along with what I had planned months ago, wrap up some loose ends, and end this story with a future epilogue. There will be no sequel. I haven't decided what I'm going to do next, so don't bother asking, please. _

_I had to cut this chapter in half because it was too long, so I'm going to post the partner chapter in a couple days – because it's done. _

_And, you're all the best. Seriously, I'm still in awe at the amount of people still reading this and liking it. Great way to de-stress, inflate my ego, and float to the moon from the sheer size of it. ;)_

_So, what's going on with Jenny? Will Kim survive the barbeque? Will the boys like her?_

_**Please review. **_

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_


	26. Chapter Twentythree: Barbeque Part 2

_**Note:**__Part Two to my gianorous chapter. Check out my new poll. The playlist is Bon Iver, The Fray, and Taylor Swift _

* * *

Chapter Twenty-three – Barbeque (Part 2):

_Brother – (noun) male sibling; fellow member; close male friend; devoted religious worker_

"Get out," Jared called behind him to the boys. They muttered under their breath and jumped out of the car, jogging to where three other boys were gathered. One of them had a football.

I took a deep breath, watching Jared come around the truck to meet me. He took my hand and let me to two picnic tables pushed together to make one giant one. I gripped his hand again, feeling the nerves and panic hit me full force when a plump lady came into view behind the boys. She was fussing with mountain of food pilled on red table clothes. She was wearing an oversized rain coat and her thick hair up in a gold clip.

"Don't – don't stare at Emily," Jared muttered in my ear, leaning down to reach it. He placed a quick kiss on my temple before righting and tugging me towards the lady.

I frowned, not understanding before the lady turned toward us – showing the half of her face that was marred with thick scars. I held my gasp in, quickly darting my eyes down to the ground.

"Emily, I have brought my girl as requested," Jared said loudly. He tugged me forward so I came into view from behind him. I glanced up, blushing when I noticed all eyes were on me. The lady watched me with a wide smile on half of her face.

"She's much prettier than you'd said, Jared," the woman exclaimed, slapping his arm lightly. Her eyes never left me.

"Kim, this is Emily," Jared said softly to me. He nudged me forward. "Emily, this is Kim."

I gave a shy half wave, trying to smile at her. Questions were burning in my gut – _where did she get those scars? _

Emily didn't waste time and pulled me into a bone crushing hug, warm and motherly. I relaxed into her friendly gesture and felt a sincere smile grace my lips. She made me comfortable – she wanted to like me.

"It's so good to finally meet you," she said, smiling at me again. Her voice was smooth and soft - a contrasting difference to Sam's rough, calloused tone. "Much later than I wanted…"

Jared had let go of my hand when Emily had hugged me and had wandered over to the other boys – one I recognized as Paul. The boys Embry and Quil were also standing there, arguing over the football. Jared looked up at Emily's words, giving her a scowl.

"Em, be thankful with what you got! My girl's shy, deal with it," he said, ripping the football out of Paul's hands, winking at me, and then walking off to where Collin and Brady were down in the sand, feet from the water.

I blushed at Jared's easy comments, not daring to look Emily in the eye. I watched the boys jog after him, calling about teams.

"Ignore them," Emily muttered, waving a scared hand at them. She took my hand and let me to the picnic table. "I swear, one day I won't be around and they'll be missing what they had."

I tried to look away, but I noticed my eyes seem to be glued to the flaws that made Emily Young. She would have been beautiful – crystal eyes, smooth skin, and perfect bone structure. Instead, she was forced to wear a disguise, masking her perfection. She reminded me of Two-Face, from batman, even though that sounded horrible. Half of her face was in shadow, while the other was how she should have been.

"Yeah," I muttered quietly, shaking myself mentally. She'd been talking and I'd zoned out. I muttered agreement in hopes of covering the fact that I was indeed staring at her like Jared had told me not too.

I sat on the cool wood of the bench as Emily instructed and gasped when I noticed a girl, sitting across from me. I hadn't noticed her. Emily seemed to notice my surprise and looked up from her sandwich making.

"Kim," she said, placing a hand on her hip. She sighed, nodding to the girl. "This is Leah Clearwater. Leah, this is Kim – Jared's girl."

Leah was _beautiful_. And, she was staring straight at me.

"Hey," I mumbled, giving her my shy half wave. She didn't acknowledge my greeting, but just stared with her dead look straight through me. Her face was gloomy with a pale color to it. Leah was hollow and depressed and it was written all over her face.

Yet, she was probably the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. She had thick hair pinned delicately out of her face with bobby-pins. Her almond eyes were a rich chocolate brown, and her lip was seductively plump. Her bone structure was kind of like Emily's, but sharper and finer to the edge of her jaw line and down her nose. My stomach dropped at the sight of her, the green monster of jealously roared at the thought of Jared being around such a lady.

"Leah, say hello," Emily demanded impatiently. Her other hand rose to her hip and she waited for Leah to greet me.

"Hello," Leah said in a perfectly controlled voice. She muttered it sarcastically; if you weren't listening hard enough you would have missed it.

My cheeks heated. Her coolness made me feel like a little girl, sitting at the big people table, so out of my league and pitied because I didn't have the mind to stand the adult conversation. I didn't belong, but no one cared enough to tell me to move down to where I should have been.

I let my gaze drift downward, ashamed of what Leah had been through and where I thought I deserved to be sitting. She set me in my place – I had no idea what I'd gotten myself into, falling for Jared Thail three years ago when he'd walked into Spanish class with a new hair cut and fresh from a growth spurt the summer of eighth grade.

"Be nice, Leah."

I looked up and saw Sam Uley walk up from the parking lot, behind where Leah was sitting, still watching me. His shoulders were slumped slightly and he looked haggard. My nervous butterflies started their wild flight in the pit of my stomach as I tried to painfully swallow past my panic.

Sam was scary.

"Kim," he smiled at me. The gesture softened his face. "It's nice to see you again."

I nodded to him, picking at my jeans under the table. "You too."

Sam came up right next to Emily, letting his lips touch her shoulder as she worked through a third round of sandwiches. He waited until the last one was on the plate before cupping her cheek and carefully kissing down her scared face – maybe in sorrow and guilt – before placing a lingering kiss on her lips.

I nervously glanced at Leah who stared away from me, her face completely turned away from the intimate scene going on. Anger heated my cheeks. Why were they doing that in front of her?

But, as I watched, I noticed that it wasn't because they were rubbing it in her face. It was a greeting from being parted for so long. It was there was of saying, 'I love you. I missed you,' without actually saying it. I turned away too, feeling as though I was intruding on such a private moment.

For the next hour, when Sam had wandered down to where the boys were, Emily chatted away about her family, old friends, the boys, and muffins as the pack, as I now started to call them, beat the tar of each other at tackle football down on the beach – without pads. I stopped watching them when Jared got mowed down by Paul and Embry. I had jumped out of my seat, furiously watching for red or listening for pain. It never came, thankfully, and he'd retaliated by grabbing the ankle of Paul when Paul had risen. Paul was on the ground by the time Jared had pulled himself up, running for the touchdown.

Another thing I noted – rules didn't apply with the pack. They were made up as they went along.

I learned that Emily missed her home in Montana and wished that her mother could move over here so they'd be closer together. Emily called her every Sunday morning, but she said it wasn't enough and the distance seemed terribly long sometimes.

Without saying it, she revealed that she was guilty about Leah – from the looks and the way she talked about her. While still being friends, they weren't as close as they once were and she resented that.

Emily lived for the pack, too. She loved the boys like I loved Jared. While she didn't need them like she needed Sam, she took care of them like a mother. She baked for them every other day, picked up after them, and kept them in line when need be.

"I was the one that got Paul's grades up to where they should be. They weren't perfect when he phased, but they definitely took a backseat to the duties he had with Sam and – and patrol. I wasn't going to let that happen because it's important that if these boys don't make it to college, they at least get some kind of education, don't you think?"

I didn't have much of an opinion for most of the stuff she talked about, but I realized she just needed someone to talk to – be a girl around. She was lonely, that much was obvious, and she needed a girlfriend to rant and spill everything to. While she wasn't much older than me, the gap seemed much larger than it should have been with everything that she did. She really was a mother for seven teenage boys.

Around two, the boys all came running up, sandy and out of breath, for the mountain of food Emily had been prepared all afternoon. But, Emily made them wait.

"Jared, why don't you tell Kim who everyone is?"

Jared slipped in next to me while Paul sat on my other side. All the boys didn't pause at Emily's words and found seats on the bench, but they did wait for her to give the green light for food attacking.

I blushed, looking down at my empty paper plate in front of me. Jared's had found mine under the table and gave me a little courage, but I still wanted to run away with all eyes on me.

"Everyone already knows who she is," Jared said. He tapped is head cheekily. Emily gave him a disapproving look.

"Fine," he muttered, glancing down at me. He waved his hand at the far end of the table. "Starting from the left, Quil, Embry, Collin, and Leah. On our side, we have Seth, Brady, Paul, you and me."

Quil and Embry I recognized from school – not in any of my classes, but in the hallway. I was sure they were maybe a year younger than me, but I had to admit they looked about five years older than me. Both muscular, Quil was slightly burlier than Embry was, but Embry had a couple inches on Quil. His hair was also longer like Jared's.

Collin ducked his head shyly when his name was called, but offered me a smile that I returned, hoping to ease him. Leah, however, didn't even look my way but instead focused on picking pineapple out of the fruit bowel, ignoring everyone.

Seth, handsome like Leah was pretty, but younger and boyish looking, gave me a hearty wave and an easy grin. His movements weren't as gracefully the other boys, almost as though he was going through an awkward growth spurt and didn't know how to move with all his longer limbs. His hair looked recently shaved, so I figured maybe he was a new member to this giant family.

Brady wasn't as enthusiastic as Seth was, but still gave me his lethargic grin, before turning back to eye the fried chicken in front of him.

Paul nudged my shoulder, smirking at me. I knew he was probably teasing me about my rosy cheeks and the hold I had on Jared's hand. I just shot him a look and dropped my eyes to my knees. I started to pick at the seams again, feeling as though I needed something to do with my hands.

"Where's Jacob?" Emily suddenly asked. She eyed the group, looking around the faces.

The boys looked at one other before Quil's voice rang out, disgusted. "He's with Bella – again."

Paul let out an angry growl under his breath, a reaction that was repeated around the table, even by Jared.

"What's he doing with her?"

Quil shrugged uninterestedly. "Who cares? He shouldn't be with the girl in the first place."

"Bella's a sweet girl, Quil," Emily argued. She looked upset by the reaction this Bella girl had amongst the easy going boys. "Don't judge her by the company she keeps."

"You'd think after almost killing herself she might take a hint that the leeches might not be the best things to be around," Embry muttered darkly.

I leaned over to Jared, who was listening to the exchange quietly. "Who's Bella?"

"Bella Swan?" His eyes darted to mine and he leaned in too, letting my hand go and wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

I nodded, frowning. "Is she a vampire?"

Jared chuckled dryly. His eyes were sharp, narrowed with his detest. "No, but she's in love with Edward Cullen."

I gasped, my eyes widening. The name sparked my memory, a name I wouldn't soon forget. Chills ran down my spine and I had an urge to look over my shoulder. "What? Isn't he a vampire?"

He nodded. He didn't look very worried, almost like it's a story that's been told too many times.

"Does she know?" I asked quietly, worriedly. Old Hollywood movies, the ones that make even the foulest beasts glamorous, didn't even try to make these monsters respectable. Their habits and lifestyle couldn't be justified.

He nodded again, this time sadly. "Do you know who Jacob Black is?"

I nodded this time, remembering a skinny, tall guy with long black hair, wheeling his dad, Billy Black, around the supermarket a couple weeks ago. He was even bigger than Sam was; broad shouldered and older looking than his 16 years.

"He's in love with Bella – "

"Wait," I said, laughing a little. I didn't like where this was going – it sounded like an episode on Days of Our Lives. "I thought she's in love with Edward?"

"She is," Jared said, smiling wirily. "But, he left almost a month and half ago to 'keep her safe.' He only came back because Bella jumped off a cliff and almost killed herself. Jacob just about died that day, when she went crawling back to the one that practically killed her in the first place."

I sighed sadly. What a mess.

"Jacob," Jared sighed, shaking his head. "He has the hots for her and he's convinced that she loves him too even though she keeps denying him. It's all a really sad and pathetic story."

"So," I said, trying to get things straight. My head whirred from the information. "Jacob is in love with Bella, who loves Edward, who left to…"

"Edward's a vampire and he loves her apparently, so he left so he wouldn't kill her basically," Jared muttered, rolling his eyes. "Jacob fell for Bella, who fell for him too, but then went back to Ed when he came back. I told you, it's sad and pathetic."

"Love is pathetic?" I asked in a small voice. I had a sort of understanding with this Bella – even if the choice seemed obvious. Why would she want to love a vampire?

His eyes got sharp and he shook his head. "No, I think pawning after a girl that's taken, is."

"Isn't she allowed to love more than one person?" I argued. I didn't know why I was defending the insane, but I felt like Bella wasn't understood. It probably made sense in her head, but it seemed other people should at least let her make a choice before judging her about it.

Jared watched me carefully, studying me for a moment. "I guess. I think it's wrong though to string along one person while you already know who you're going to chose, that isn't that one."

I shrugged, accepting the roll basket that Paul handed me. I took one and passed it to Jared, all the while trying to explain my point. "She's probably just confused. She doesn't know what she wants."

"How do you know that?" Jared asked. His eyes narrowed slightly, looking suspicious.

I rolled my eyes, letting a smile creep onto my face. "Jared, I'm a girl. We never know what we want."

Jared smiled down at me, nudging me with his shoulder again. He ducked his head almost shyly. "Do you not know what you want too?"

I frowned at him. "What does that mean?"

He glanced around, leaning closer to me. His eyes probed mine, guarded over with indifference. "Is this what you want? You're joining a pretty big family, Kim. There are no secrets with us and sometimes the 'no privacy' can get one your nerves."

I frowned, dropping my eyes. The perfect opening and I wasn't about to back out. "So, you're not keeping anything from me?"

He was quiet for a moment. I watched him glare into his food, ripping the chicken off the bone but not eating it.

"There are some things I can't tell you yet," he said slowly. He avoided my eye. "They're not secrets. I'm just… waiting for the right moment."

He turned away from me, pulling his hat off to run his fingers through his hair. I felt guilty for bringing up a subject that obviously was painful, yet I was irritated that I was being intentionally kept in the dark.

"Why didn't you tell me about Emily?" I muttered furiously at him. I glanced around to make sure she was out of ear shot – laughing with Sam and Brady. My chest prickled uncomfortably when my eyes were drawn immediately to her marks.

Jared sighed, leaning his forehead to mine but keeping his eyes down on his lap. He took my hand and gently rubbed my palm.

"I didn't know how to tell you," he mumbled. His voice was weak, layered with misery.

"Why?" I muttered, confused. "What happen?"

Jared looked away. "Haven't you heard the rumors?"

I searched my brain, remembering something about Emily but it was all hushed up. An animal or something… Sam had saved her –

My stomach lurched. "An animal?" I whispered, picking at my food.

Jared's face crumbled in pain, making me nauseous. He growled, "Yes, an animal."

"Sam couldn't have – " I couldn't wrap my brain around it. The way he looked at her, kissed her face… Maybe it was because he was in agony that he'd caused such disfigurement to her face. I didn't understand how, though.

Jared seemed to anticipate my question. "Sam phased to close. He was… new and didn't – didn't have a pack so he hadn't mastered…"

He choked down the rest of his words, sighing wretchedly and unable to finish. I understood then.

"You should have told me. I trust you – I don't think you're going to hurt me," I muttered, dropping my voice when Paul leaned over me to get another slice of watermelon and a whole sandwich. "You can tell me anything. stop being afraid of how I'm going to react – "

Jared pulled me to his side then, in an one-armed hug. "I'm sorry," he muttered, letting his lips brush my forehead.

"I love you," I muttered pathetically. My voice was breathless from his touch. "I just – you're acting like I'm not here right now, ignoring my gag reflex and meeting all these people important to you. I'm… I'm trying to be in your life like you're in mine. Let me!"

Jared looked down at his hands guilty. "I know…"

He kissed my cheek tenderly before joining the boys in their goofing off and food attacking. I wasn't sure how they stuffed all the food down their throats and not have their stomachs explode, but they managed to eat ten times the amount I usually ate all day. Emily tried having a conversation just between the two of us, but somehow we got pulled into the jokes and exclamations that was Embry. I found out he was the silly one in the group with witty humor and liked to entertain with stupid jokes that made you laugh a little too hard.

That was, until he brought me into it.

"Hey Kim!" All eyes turned to me while Embry waved a hand at me. "Hey, how nice is it to have Jared whipped? 'Cause I sure as hell haven't seen him this corny – "

Jared threw the football at him, but with a wide grin and a wink towards me.

"He kissing you okay? Man, that would be embarrassing if his imprint was getting some – "

"Embry," Sam sighed quietly. It didn't take much from Sam to tame the boys down dramatically. On word would get them to stop what they were doing on the dime and immediately change it to something else. It was kind of creepy the kind of power he had over them – their alpha. I knew realized why Jared looked up to him so much.

Jared glared at Embry, wanting to retort something back – probably something about Mary Clapp who they teased him about mercifully. Apparently she was sort of crush he had that didn't work out the way he had probably hoped it would. I caught a glimpse of the story – Mary preaching to him about God after he tried to make it to third base – before Embry threw his shoe at Quil and tried to tackle Paul over the table.

It was four thirty before the party finally started to die down and the boys were done trying to kill each other for the football. Jared and I had wandered down with Quil and Seth, talking easily with each other.

I was hesitant with Quil a first, expecting some sort of perverted sick-o despite Jared's explanation, but he turned out to be just a normal teenager. He was as lost as the rest of us, wondering what the future was going to bring. He mentioned Claire a couple times, but nothing that suggested he was fantasying about the two year old in a way that he shouldn't – as if he would give himself away with some sick comment about her. It was mostly big brother type stuff – without the annoyance and whole lot more love.

"Yeah, I couldn't watch the game, yesterday," Quil muttered. Him and Jared were talking about baseball.

"Too busy watching Barney?" Jared teased, ducking away from Quil's fist.

Quil pinked, scowling at him before shoving his head deep in his pockets. "It's not my fault she wanted to watch it four and half hours straight!"

"You're brave, man," Seth laughed. "I don't know how you stand it!"

Quil didn't answer, but ignored them. I had a feeling he enjoyed the time spent with her, rather than focusing on just the amount of times he'd seen the purple dinosaur.

Seth, I noted, was probably the nicest person I'd ever met. He was caring and sweet, and made you laugh in the genuine, innocent kind of way. I wished he was my little brother because he was the type that you wanted to put in your pocket and bring home with you.

We lazed about on the drift wood or wandered down the beach, Seth and Quil running ahead to scare the sea birds or bringing up the rear, arguing over little stuff – like video games, football players, or other boy stuff that got drowned out by Jared's hand holding and sneaked kisses he gave me behind my ear.

Jared held my hand the whole time, joking with the boys but never leaving me out. It was nice because I felt like I had been friends with these people instead of just meeting them. They acted as such.

Paul joined us a little while later, explaining that Emily and Sam had gone all touchy feely and there was no cold scowl from Leah to make them quit.

"So, I'm coming over here to hear some good conversation," Paul muttered. He walked on my other side, kicking Quil every once in a while and making Quil slap him back. It amazed me that they lived to just irritated each other.

"You mean you got tired of watching the eye fucking between Emily and Sam, and Embry's jokes about it," Jared clarified.

I gasped and slapped at his arm, feeling my face heat. He looked down at me apologetic, squeezing my hand.

"Correct," Paul said, giving Seth a nuggey. Seth fought but couldn't seem to unglue himself from Paul's armpit. I looked up at Jared, wondering if he should do something, but Seth was laughing along with him. I figured this was another stupid boy bonding thing they did to each other.

"Jake back yet?" Quil asked, finally rescuing Seth. He slung his arm around him, almost to ward off Paul and say, 'stop beating the kid up.'

"Yeah, but he didn't stick around. He said something about his Dad and Sue," Paul answered. "He looked upset about something – maybe the leech was around."

"Did he smell?"

Paul scrunched his nose, thinking. "Kind of, actually. But he always does these days."

Jared chuckled under his breath and dipped his nose to my neck. "Thank god my girl smells good."

"Yeah really," Paul said, snorting. He picked up a shell before chucking it into the ocean some feet away. "How does he stand to be around her? Just off him it's like sniffing bleach."

I frowned, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Remember what I said about vamps smelling gross?" Jared asked. I nodded and he continued. "Well, when we're around them there scent burns like bleach in the nose, but had a pungent sweet smell to it that is so strong it makes you want to throw up. And, since Bella hangs around the leeches, she always smells like them."

I scrunched my nose, thinking about the cleaner my mom used. It wasn't bleach, but it was just as horrible. I couldn't even image something so sweet smelling like that. "How does he stand it?"

"He _loves_ her," Paul muttered in a false high voice. His exclamation made the boys roll their eyes and snicker to each other.

We walked for another half hour before getting called up by Emily to help her load her van. It didn't take long since all the food had been licked clean by the boys.

"It's getting late, Jared. Maybe you should take Kim home? I have room for Collin and Brady, so don't worry about them." Emily smiled at me, opening her arms for me like a hug.

"Thanks Emily," I muttered into her chest. I was squished against her again, but enjoying the motherliness of it again. Something about her made her huggable.

"Come and visit me, okay?" she said. "Jared can tell you where the Little House is and you can just come over whenever you want to. We'll talk some more."

I smiled at her, liking that idea. "I will."

It was five thirty when Jared finally pulled into my drive way. He shut the engine off, but didn't hustle me out right away. He looked nervous, fidgeting with his keys and not meeting my eye.

"Did you have fun?" he asked quietly, breaking the silence. He looked up at me with his rich eyes, giving me chills.

I nodded, smiling at him shyly. "It was a lot of fun."

He nodded, letting his eyes drift back down to his hands. He sighed, hesitating for a moment before asking, "Can I come tonight?"

I blushed, tugging at my hair. It tired to act nonchalant, yet I failed horrible. "Of course," I mumbled breathlessly.

He nodded, glancing up at me with his dimpled grin. My stomach butterflies fluttered – he was so handsome.

"There's a bonfire next Thursday," Jared said. "Billy Black and Old Quil are going to tell the legends again. Do you want to come?"

I nodded eagerly. A chance to really get all the details on all this mystical stuff made the anxiousness and panic smooth over. Maybe I'd finally understand my part in all this and not have to trust Jared for everything.

Jared nodded slowly again, watching me from under his eye lashes. I tried not to start hyperventilating at knowing what came next. It was pathetic how he hadn't even touched me yet and my heart was trying to pound itself out of my chest.

He reached up behind my neck and pulled me to him, gently touching my lips to his. It wasn't as rough as the last one was, but simple and more mind shattering. I'd never imagined a kiss could be like this. Every nerve ending in my body was hyper aware of Jared's close proximity, how his hands caressed the skin exposed just above where my jeans hugged my hips and the other trailing upward under my sweater, dancing up a couple ribs. His mouth was hot against mine and I barely comprehended that I was in his lap, tugging his hair out of his head. It just felt so good…

He broke the kiss first, not going far, but leaning his forehead on mine. I liked the way he panted like I did and how his eyes stayed closed like he was remembering the moment – sealing it away.

Once the adrenaline wore off a second later, I blushed hot, noticing I was in his lap in the driver's seat, crushing him to the door. I tried to maneuver my way off him but he just chuckled and pulled me closer, hugging me tightly to him. I melted, letting my head drop to his shoulder and my face bury itself in his neck.

"I'll see you later tonight," he whispered into my neck, letting his lips drift over my skin there. I shivered, trying to control my breathing. I didn't want to faint in his arms.

It took some cooperation from Jared, but I finally managed to fall back into the passenger seat and let myself out of his car. I gave him my shy half wave, still dizzy from his kiss, and stumbled my way up the door. I almost fell on my face trying to get up the porch steps, but I caught myself on the railing, forcing myself not to look back to see if he saw – because I knew he did and my cheeks were hot enough.

I tried to creep back into my house as quietly as possible, to avoid Anna and her questions. I failed spectacularly when my mom, the last person I wanted to see, rounded the corner into the hallway. She saw me, looked me up and down once, before dropping her gaze back to the papers in her hand.

"Kim, you're home," she muttered. "Jenny called. She wanted to talk to you, but I said you were out with Jared."

My mom stopped right in front of my, looking up again. She looked worried. "She didn't sound so good and told me to have you call her immediately when you got home. She said it was urgent. Maybe you should call her right away."

I nodded, frowning. It was odd. Jenny never left messages.

I walked quickly to my room, trying to calm myself down from the kissing in the car with Jared. My stomach was still fluttering and my heart was still beating frantically. I sighed and sat on my bed, rubbing a hand down my face.

Then, my stomach dropped. I started to panic when I realized the full extent of my mom's words.

"_She said it was urgent."_

I dived to the phone.

* * *

**author's note:** _What's going on with Jenny? Will Jared ever tell Kim what's going on?_

_You know what to do. Leave me a review filled with the good, the bad, and the ugly. _

_Thanks, Little Black Dress_


	27. Chapter Twentyfour: Wishful Thinking

**Note:** _Sorry this is so late. I didn't mean to just disappear for a month. Time got away with me and I've been very busy with school lately. I'm graduating this year, so I've got to tie up all those loose ends before leaving the public school system for good. :)_

_Please excuse all spelling errors. I've read this over, but I don't have time to really pick it apart. __Enjoy._

_Playlist: My iPod was on random. _

* * *

Chapter Twenty-four – Wishful Thinking:

_Trepidation – (noun) fear or uneasiness about the future or a future event; an involuntary trembling_

I frowned at the blue phone in my hand, ignoring the dial tone. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement, not only with Jenny, but with me as well. From what I'd just talked to Jenny about, I'd say that I was being a horrible friend if she dismissed me so quickly, and concerning her urgent message, I'd say she was hiding something – that she couldn't tell her best friend about.

I stared at the phone a moment longer before typing in a phone number. I closed my eyes, wishing for the right voice.

"Hello?"

I sighed, relieved it wasn't Sam Uley or another member of the pack. Having just met Embry, he might have made a scene about lovebirds and what not. "Hey, Jared. It's me."

"Kim," Jared breathed. My toes curled and I sat straighter on my bed, reacting to his tone. It made my stomach somersault and a goofy grin cross my face.

"I'm just calling to… to tell you that I think – _know _Jenny's keeping something from me," I mumbled, slightly embarrassed about my phone call. _Why was I bugging him with this?_

"Huh," Jared said. I heard the creak of a chair and the mutter of a radio in the background. "Why is that?"

I blushed, feeling silly. I tried to explain why I needed to tell him, why my call was justified, and why I needed the sound of his voice to stop the nausea creeping in on me. "She called while we were at the barbeque and left a message for me to call her… and that it was _urgent."_ I took a deep breath, tugging on my hair. "Jenny never leaves messages and, seeing as this one was urgent, I got worried… so I called her. _Do you know what she said?"_

I paused, trying to cool my sudden frustration. There wasn't any need to use that tone with Jared. I felt angry tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. Everything was just so wrong.

I didn't mean for Jared to answer, but he humored me. "No. What?"

I sighed, lying back on my bed. Sniffling, I rubbed my cheek with the back of my hand. I was hurt and worried and ultimately frustrated that I was kept in the dark on purpose – and I _knew_ I was being kept in the dark. _Again_. Couldn't I be trusted with anything? "She said she just wanted to make sure I was home safely. And when I asked her if she had anything to tell me she said… she said no!"

"Huh," Jared said again.

"Jared," I mumbled, closing my eyes trying to picture him sitting in a wooden chair and tipping it back on its two legs. He regularly sat like that in class. "I'm worried… is there something wrong with me?"

"What?" Jared hissed angrily. There was a thump, as though I'd been picturing him correctly, and his chair met the floor. "No, there isn't anything wrong with you. Why would you think that?"

I sniffled again, curling up on my side. "My best friend doesn't trust me. She wouldn't tell me anything – even when I offered to meet her somewhere to talk… in case she didn't want her mom overhearing stuff, you know? And then… and then she asked me about you and the pack – I didn't tell her anything important – but I thought we were getting somewhere because she was actually interested in… you and me… But, then she just hung up and –and I know she wants to tell me something, but she's not."

Jared was quiet for a moment, taking in what I said. I didn't offer anything else, feeling drained from such a long day. I could have been overreacting, I would have put money on it actually, but that itch in my chest told me something was wrong.

I'd thought maybe she was using code or something – her mom could be around and she didn't want to talk – but when she denied that, I couldn't wrap my brain around the possibility that she'd made up the urgent message so I'd call her right away. It didn't make sense, seeing as she didn't have a reason to make up an urgent message. _Did she?_

I suddenly felt sick. I pressed a hand to my forehead, feeling hypocritical. It wasn't right of me to be suspicious, and even upset, over Jenny lying to me when I'd done nothing but lie to her for the last couple weeks. Trying to will my guilt away, I convinced myself that I was worried she was lying to be for her own welfare. If _Jenny_ was lying, something was wrong.

"Nothing's wrong with you, Kim," Jared said quietly. "Maybe she didn't want to talk about it… and if she really does want you to know about… whatever it is she's hiding, then she'll talk to you about it sooner or later, yeah? I wouldn't worry about it."

I nodded without realizing he couldn't see me. His words made me feel better, soothing my nerves and my panic reflex I'd developed in the past months from the unpredictable circumstances that had come up.

"Do you want me to come earlier?" Jared asked. There was a scrap of a chair in the background, a clack of a pot, and a shuffle of feet. I heard Paul's sharp laugh in the background and a bitter _shit. _

I glanced at the clock, noticing it was almost six-thirty and that dinner should have been ready by now. I placed a hand on my stomach, noting that I wasn't hungry enough to eat and that food didn't seem like it would sit well.

"Maybe we should wait until its dark," I said nervously. I peered out the window, trying to distinguish how long it would take for the sun to set.

"That's fine," Jared said. "I'll be there soon then."

I nodded again, unsure if I was agreeing to him or trying to calm myself down. I was still upset. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, knowing you were being lied to.

"Have you eaten?"

"I'm not hungry," I muttered, crawling to the center of my bed. I curled up again, centering on the phone to my ear. I didn't want to hang up.

"Close your eyes then," Jared said quietly, soothing my eye lids shut. "I'll be there soon."

---

I jolted away around midnight, disorientated and sweaty. I tried to move, but I was only curled closer to a body mass by an arm around my waist. I sighed, realizing it was Jared and that he'd come just like he'd promised. I smiled, drowsily.

"What's wrong?" A voice quietly asked in my ear. Jared's hot breath grazed my neck, bring goosebumps to my arms. His voice was thick with sleep and he instinctively brought my closer to his chest.

"Nothing," I muttered, tracing his fingers on my stomach. "Just glad you're here."

I slept soundly after that. I was aware of when he shifted in his sleep, every move he made gently bringing me to consciousness for a few seconds before my heavy eye lids brought the sleep back. However, I didn't notice when he left that morning, before I woke and without a word. There was a flower from the bush under my window, laying on my pillow innocently – greeting me for the day in a way that Jared couldn't.

---

I spent Sunday doing all the homework I'd gotten behind in. I hadn't realized how much I was slacking off until I went to tackle everything that was due the next day. I'd never felt so stressed over school before. So, when Monday morning rolled around, I didn't bother to fancy myself with clothes or battle with my mascara. I wasn't looking forward to being assigned more work to add to my list of things to do.

Jenny was tardy that morning, not bothering to spare me a look before she sat down with her eyes glued to the floor. I sat through first period, trying to fight the tears and my frustration until I got the chance to talk to her.

Third period cheered me up some; Jared rubbed circles on my knee the whole time, momentarily wiping my mind of any coherent thought. He'd glance at me every so often, sometimes offering me a smile or stare at me with a look that made me blush and look away bashfully.

By lunch, where Jared had suggested that he'd go off campus with Paul to leave Jenny and I alone, my foot was tapping impatiently for Jenny to show up and explain herself. I'd had enough trying to balance everything out and it was annoying that just when I'd gotten everything to fit perfectly, Jenny had to tip the scale and I was back to square one.

I didn't bring it up immediately, waiting for her to say it on her own, but she never did. I figured since she had come and sat next to me that she didn't entirely hate me, so I decided that I would let her come to me when she was ready – just like Jared had said.

I didn't have to wait long.

---

After school I went straight home, emotionally drained. I also was drowning in homework and I didn't want to procrastinate anymore than I already had and get even more behind.

I was only home ten minutes, however, before the door bell rang. Jenny was standing in on my porch, ringing her hands and wearing a guilty look.

"Come in," I said, letting her in. Before I could get the door closed, she was already babbling about how sorry she was.

"I – I panicked and I didn't mean to act like such a - a horrible person. I've just – some things have happened that are making me uneasy and I didn't know how to tell you because I think you'll take it the wrong way…"

She trailed off, watching the floor. Her shoulders were slumped over and her head hung low, maybe in her defeat. I pitied her, thinking it was because of the war her parents were still having over their divorce.

"I'm sure your parents will work out – "

I was wrong. So, horribly and naively wrong.

"Huh?" she questioned, snapping her head up. She frowned, confused. "No, that's not what I'm talking about."

I mirrored her expression, crossing my arms and getting ready for her explanation. It took her a minute to gather her courage, physically trembling in her apprehension. "Remember what I told you about those stories about our descendants – the wolf beasts?"

I blanched - my blood running cold in my veins and my heart starting to pound forcefully in my chest. My mind started to whirl. I didn't want to know where this was going.

"Well, I know you think they're just stories but - "

"Jenny," I started. My voice sounded beseeching, pleading her to stop where she was and go home.

"Please Kim, just hear me out," she said, giving me persuasive look. "There are these two boys… Collin and Brad, I think, who skipped school for like two weeks – just like Paul and Jared did – and grew really fast. They look like they're twenty now and they're only 13!"

She waited until I nodded before continuing. "Apparently Collin's mom called an ambulance because of a major fever – he was like in the 'impossible to still be alive' range, you know, above 108?"

"How do you know?" I countered.

She waved it off, sighing impatiently. "My mom is friends with Collin's mom. They're in the same book club and it was at my house last week," she said quickly, swiftly going on with her explanation. "Anyway, there was this really shifty explanation that they gave her about being just the flu as a result of… puberty or something, and that she shouldn't worry about it. This was the rez clinic, Kim. Even they are smart enough to know that stuff like that doesn't happen because of the flu!"

I gulped, starting to tremble. I tried calming myself, telling myself that she was just guessing, basing everything on assumption. _She didn't know._ "I'm sure they do know what they're talking about – it is a doctor's office, after all. Maybe, she was over reacting."

"Kim, do you honestly believe that?" she asked appalled. She eyed me, giving me a look that told me she knew me better than that. "How do overreact when your son grows into an adult in two days? Besides, they started hanging around Sam Uley – you know, the one that's getting married – and insisted that they stay over and have a sleep over with him for, like, two days – in a row, on school nights! She couldn't say no because… well, he's a council member now."

I didn't say anything. My memories flashed through my head, of Jared when he came about after two weeks – from a boy to a man – and how he'd been so tired recently.

My brow was starting to sweat. _Maybe Jenny did know… _

"I went to the library to check out some medical books – to really see if you can grow six feet in a couple days – it was crummy library if you ask me. Don't ever go there – I had to because my mom wouldn't drive me to Port Angels. Anyway, they _did _had these old records from back in the 30's where there were strange happenings all over the place, like now. But, I found that no one really checked into it – almost like it was being hushed up. There were gaping holes in the time lines! Why is that?"

I shrugged, trying to act interested and clueless. It was harder than I thought. My hands were shaking and my stomach rolled sickly.

"I went around and asked some of the elders, but they just gave me stupid answers like, 'I don't know what you're talking about girl,' and 'stay in school,' or 'you're looking too much into nothing' – "

"What if you are?" I interrupted. My voiced sounded unsure and weak, but I kept trying. I heaved a dry chuckle, trying to wave this idea off as stupid. "I mean, you're basing it off stuff that happened years and years ago!"

"But get this! Have you heard of the Cullen's?"

I almost started to hyperventilate. Jared's voice in my head rang with a name. _Bella Swan. _Did Jenny know about Bella Swan? Surely if she knew about the Cullen's, she knew about Bella. And then, she'd know about –

She didn't let me answer. "They're this strange family up in Forks… living in a house that had previously been deserted for 70 years – just about the time of the strange happenings last time!"

I knew why. I wasn't going to tell her that they didn't age. I wasn't going to tell her that they shined in the sunlight and needed the grayness. I wasn't going to tell her that they weren't accepted because they were vampires – good ones at least – but had the ability to suck blood and trigger the gene for the werewolves. I wasn't going to tell her how spot on she was. I wasn't going to tell her.

"Maybe they like the small town…" I tried, clenching my shaking hands. I took a deep breath, trying to keep from passing out.

"Kim, haven't you heard anything?" she didn't look convinced when I shook my head 'no.' "My mom heard the other day from Mrs. Carter, you know that grocery woman that hears _everything_, that I guess they're gone 'camping' all the time when it's sunny and all of them almost lost credit last year because they missed so much school. Why would a dad, who's a _doctor, _keep his kids out of school like that?"

"Jenny – " I hated where this was going. I hated that I was going to have to lie to her. I hated that she was just so_ smart_. _Why Jenny?_

I was an idiot, that deer caught in the headlights, ignoring the plain signs of the car looping around the corner and ignoring the fact that I was in the way. The stupid deer that stood there was I watched it come towards me, jumping out of the way only when it was too late.

"Listen to me Kim! There's something going on I think everyone's trying to keep quiet," she said, bouncing slightly in front of me. She was so excited, so pumped with adrenaline from her findings. "And, I've decided I'm going to get the bottom of the mystery. I know you're dating Jared, Kim, but listen – there's legitimate evidence that he's involved with whatever is going on! I think we should… interrogate him or something, you know, to try and find out the facts!"

I didn't know what to say. Everyone _was_ trying to keep this a secret, and Jared trusted me to help keep it that way. But, there was Jenny, who relied on me and needed me to help her with this. I was her best friend and was suppose to stand by her.

Whose side do you take?

"I don't think that's a good idea," I muttered, thinking of an excuse. I figured I should try to put this to rest, quench her curiosity without saying anything vital. "If it is this huge thing that the elders are trying to keep quiet, don't you think you're sticking your nose into something dangerous?"

She stared at me for a moment, her eyes narrowed. A calculating expression covered her face. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," I answered carefully, "that maybe snooping around isn't a good idea. Think about it, if someone took the time to just turn a blind eye seventy years ago, what makes you think that this isn't something dangerous?"

"How do you know it's dangerous? It could be some – "

"Some what?" I asked. "You said something about legends and werewolves and supernatural stuff that doesn't exist! You're telling me that these beasts that you keep talking about aren't _dangerous?"_

I knew they weren't dangerous, but Jenny didn't need to know that.

She frowned for a minute, calculating and assessing her thoughts. It took her a moment before she answered. "That's why we need to 'snoop,' as you put. People need to know about this, like the police! I just – I need evidence."

I started to panic. I sucked in a breath, crossing my arms for a different approach. "What? Are you accusing Jared of being one of these mystical beasts?"

She winced, snapping her gaze away from me sheepishly. "Well, when you put it that way…"

"Jenny," I said, trying to sound offended. "I like to think I can trust Jared and I like to think that you trust me with Jared. Don't you think I would have noticed by now if he was some kind of _animal?"_

"Well, maybe he isn't one, but who he hangs out with – "

"Jenny," I said, using the same tone. "Remember I went to a barbeque with them on Saturday. Don't you think dangerous monsters would be doing something other than entertaining?"

She was silent for a moment, trying to find an excuse. "They're trying to keep up the facade!"

"What?" I gasped. This was hard when you're stupid best friend _wouldn't let it go_.

"It's like vampires," Jenny explained. "They charm the woman before killing her. What if they're trying to get everyone into a false sense of security before unleashing the cult – "

"_Cult?"_ I asked, slightly winded from her ideas. If only she knew how close she was to the truth. I was kind of impressed with her, how she was able to figure this out all on her own.

She pinked slightly, shrugging hastily. "I don't know. I'm trying to figure out why there hasn't been anything bad that's happened yet."

I sighed. There was a light at the end of the tunnel. "Doesn't that give you your answer? Maybe they aren't dangerous after all."

"So, why would snooping be a bad thing then? It would just answer the question even further and prove once and for all I'm wrong."

I didn't answer her, struggling with my words. She'd turned it around on me and I was caught again, that stupid deer.

"Look Kim," she said, taking a step closer to me. "I'll understand if you don't want to, but I would really appreciate your help with this. I just – I need an answer."

"Why?" I asked pathetically. I wanted to cry and scream and shake her until she stopped thinking about this. "Why can't you just let it go?"

She shook her head, walking to the door. "I know I'm right. If someone gets hurt, I'll always feel guilt about it because I didn't do something when I knew it was happening!"

I let her leave, defeated and uneasy. I watched her hurry down the street, always looking over her shoulder as though the mystical beast she talked about would attack her for thinking her thoughts.

I had a feeling that Sam wasn't going to like my best friend. When I got back to my room and found the phone, I almost didn't call Jared. Although, I eventually realized the danger he could be in if the Jenny did prove her point – and I couldn't put Jared in that kind of danger. I wouldn't.

"She _what?"_ he hissed. I winced and yanked the phone away from my ear at his sharp tone.

I started again, shakily. "Jenny has it practically figured out that the pack are werewolves and that something is fishy with the Cullen's," I said quickly, trying to keep myself from stumbling over the words.

I could hear Jared's fierce panting on the other side of the phone, hinted with low growls whenever I said anything particularly horrible.

"That – that _little…"_ he trailed off and I could hear the swear words flash through his mind, yearning to be said. He didn't say it though, still respecting me even when his temper was through the roof.

"I'm sorry, Jared. I really am," I muttered, rubbing my eyes. "I didn't think that Jenny would become so curious about this. I should have known…"

"It's not your fault," he said roughly. His voice was quiet, his fatigue dripping from his words. "I've got to go. Sam needs to know about this. That's not going to be a fun conversation…"

I felt the familiar creep of panic. "You're not going to hurt her, right? I mean, Sam wouldn't do anything to – to – "

I couldn't finish my sentence. Jared didn't attempt to deny my thoughts because we both knew that Sam was a fierce and loyal pack leader that would do anything to keep his boys safe – even if it was an innocent girl threatening the entire pack.

"Jared – " I breathed shrilly, fighting my hysteria. I stood up, only to collapse back on the bed.

"Kimberly Ann," he growled. "Don't start panicking. Sam's not a murder."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me. I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself. My heart beat erratically and I placed a hand over it, willing myself to relax.

"He'll probably give her a little slap on the wrist and that'll be the end of things."

My stomach dropped, my relieved sigh caught in my throat. If I knew Jenny like I thought I did, getting told off would be the last thing to stop her. I decided against telling Jared that, hoping that maybe I could still talk the idea out of her.

"Just relax," Jared murmured quietly, sensing my mood. His warm voice soothed over my nerves and my muscles slacken at the sound. For a moment, I felt content and at ease, perfect. "Everything will be fine."

I hoped so.

* * *

**author's note:** _I did warn you a bunch throughout the story that Jenny's not stupid and she knows more than she lets on. Kim was oblivious because she's only looking at Jared's qualities and not faults, while Jenny's doing everything in her power to find a fault. _

_I hope you like where the story is going. It's definitely a different twist to the story, yeah? This adds a couple more chapters to the quota of at least five, so this story isn't quite finished yet. Hopefully you're looking forward to them._

_Thank you for all that reviewed. I do appreciate every single one I get. I have more than 1000 now and it kind of blows my mind._

_Please leave a review._

_Thanks, Little Black Dress_


	28. Chapter Twentyfive: Extraterrestrial

_Playlist: your sad music_

Chapter Twenty-Five – Extraterrestrial Freak:

_Rift – (noun) gap or break where something has split apart; disagreement that disrupts good relations_

Jared didn't visit me that night. I hadn't been expecting him, but when the side of my bed that stayed empty, I wished he was there. I was conflicted and yearned for his peace that he brought with him.

I was so worried about Jenny, I trembled. The idea that Sam was this alpha leader, bent of keeping the members of his pack safe at all costs, would not leave me alone and it scared the _pee wade_ out of me. I craved an update, to see what the plan was and what exactly was going to happen to Jenny. I could hardly sleep, and when I did, I had horrible dreams of fierce beasts attacking her. They all had massive teeth and were huge, built like bears.

However, the one that scared me the most was one of Jared, being dragged forcefully away from me by different members of the pack gripping his biceps. He'd call out to me, yet I was unable to reach him, always struggling but never moving.

So, when my alarm rang at 6 am, I quickly threw my hair up, brushed my teeth, and yanked on the closest items of clothing before hurrying to school slightly above the speed limit. I circled the parking lot once, hoping to find Jared's truck parked somewhere, but it turned out that he hadn't arrived yet. My heart sank in my chest and I quickly ran into the building, searching out Jenny next.

It took me longer than usual because she wasn't where she was usually sitting (shaving five years off my life in the process from the massive stroke she caused me). Instead, she sat outside the principal's office, doodling on her notebook like every morning. I noticed there were three thick books filled with newspaper articles and Quileute history that were dog-eared and yellow, sitting next to her innocently. It was amazing that those stupid books had gotten all of us into that mess. I gulped, realizing that my hopes of changing her mind about all these secrets might be fruitless.

"Jenny!" I called. I ran towards her, feeling my relief when I realized that I was happy to see her – alive. Despite Jared's reassurance, I didn't think Sam would rule out the possibility of _eliminating _her.

"Hey Kim," she greeted. Her smiled faltered and she looked critically at me. "Are you crying?"

I stopped short, quickly rubbing my eyes and feeling moisture. I hadn't noticed in my hysteria. "Oh no, I just – " I took a deep breath, plastering a smile on my face. "I was hoping you hadn't tried to prove your point yet."

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but shook her head. "No, I haven't yet… I was thinking about staking out Sam Uley's place, to see if… he does something different than the rest of us do."

I tried not to snort. Sam Uley wasn't exactly your average Joe.

A plan started to form in my head and I smiled hesitantly, dropping down next to her. I clapped my hands together, trying to act excited. "Good! I was hoping to join."

She looked as surprised as I was. Was this a good idea? If I couldn't talk her out of her suspicions, there needed to be a Plan B. If I were to go with her and prove to her that she was wrong, would she give it up?

"You changed your mind?" she asked doubtful. She frowned at me. I shifted in my spot, trying not to look guilty.

"Yeah, I did. I was… thinking that maybe you were… right." Whenever Anna wanted something done her way, she'd buttered my mom up – kind of like the way Jared did at dinner. She became completely blind to obvious faults when compliments were involved. "Jared has always acted… weird. Maybe there is something to him that I don't know."

My stomach turned when I realized this wasn't a lie. I knew he was keeping things from me. Did I want to really snoop and find them out?

Jenny grinned, confirming that my plan wasn't as farfetched as I thought it might be. And, maybe Anna wasn't as stupid as she looked.

"We could do something this week! Maybe… follow Paul or – or Jared!" She said excitedly. "He wouldn't question you… and if he did, you could say you wanted to…" She trailed off for a moment, her gaze wandering down the hall before snapping back towards me when she found her idea. "See him – or ask him a question or something… since you're his… girlfriend."

I literally wanted to keel over and die at the thought of lying to Jared, intentionally to deceive him. There was just something so wrong with Jenny's plan that it made me sick. I'd come to respect Jared and everything that came with him – including his pack – and by agreeing to lie to him would be a violation of trust that him and I shared. I didn't think I could do that.

I dropped my gaze to my hand, carefully placing my right hand out of sight as I crossed my fingers. I knew that it was a stupid grade school act that didn't mean anything, but it gave my heart and my conscious some physical reassurance and relief that I really didn't mean it. "Yeah, we could do that."

Jenny either didn't notice my reaction or didn't care. She immediately started to list of possible plans that involved sneaking, snooping, and lying – all that made my head spin. She even outlined the nearest police stations, elder's houses, and a fire station to run to if we had the slightest hint that something fishy was going on. I just nodded, trying to show I was just as excited about it as she was.

She suddenly stopped talked and turned to me with a look of horror. "You didn't tell Jared anything, did you? About what I said to you last night?"

I shook my head immediately, ducking my eyes to her notes. "No, of course not!"

Jenny sighed, clutching her heart. "Sorry, I just thought – "

"Should we tell him?" I asked, ignoring her. I looked up, trying to decipher her thoughts out of her expression. She looked thoughtful, but unwilling. I tried again. "Just ask him about this stuff to see what he'd say? Maybe there's a reasonable explanation."

"To what?"

I jumped, swirling around to find Jared standing above us. He looked normal, wearing dark, ratty jeans and a white shirt. His hair was all over the place and his expression was blank, but I noticed a slight hint of irritation and anger under his calm façade, carried in the crease in his forehead. I tried to tell him with my eyes that it was a plan – a game we'd play to dig our way out of danger.

I glanced at Jenny. She looked about ready to faint. Her face was white as a sheet and she scrambled to cover up her notes.

"We were just talking," I muttered when Jenny didn't say anything. I noticed she clutched her arm – exactly where Jared had grabbed her months ago in the cafeteria.

Like a light turned on, I realize why it took so long for Jenny to say something. She was scared of Jared and what he could do to her. She was scared _for _me. My heart swelled slightly. I wanted to pull her close and give her a hug. She really was my best friend.

"No – nothing," Jenny stuttered, keeping her eyes down casted towards the floor.

Jared was outright glaring at her, his face contorted into an intimidating face. It was frightening how dangerous he looked. I tried to give him a slashing motion across my neck – telling him to stop ruining my plan. It wouldn't help me if she wasn't willing to trust him.

"Jared, can you walk me to class?" I asked, giving a sideways look at Jenny. She nodded slowly, but she didn't relax.

"Sure," Jared muttered roughly, taking my hand. He made a point to not look back, growling lowly from deep inside his chest.

"What's wrong with you?" I whispered when we were out of earshot. I glanced over my shoulder, making sure Jenny was still sitting by the office.

Jared threw me a pointed look. His irritation crept back into his face. "That girl kept me up half the night. Sam was pissed. But, he's not worried about this. He doesn't think she can really do anything – but we had to make sure, you know? _God…"_

I stopped, pulling at his hand. My heart pounded in my ears. I ignored the slow bodies of students walking around us – the road block. "_What?"_

He wrinkled his nose. "It smelled like _cats."_

"Jared!"I laughed breathlessly, my relief visibly relaxing me. Jenny did have two cats. And, of course Jared would hate that. "That's it? He's not going to do anything else?"

Jared shrugged. "Sam's thinking on it. There's only so much a little girl can do. It's not that big of a deal."

I frowned, confused. "But, she knows your secret! She's not in the pack… and she's ready to go to anyone to stop you."

Jared shrugged again. He smiled tightly. "That's the point, Kim. Even if she does find hard evidence that we do exist, who will believe her? And if they do become convinced, it won't be hard to turn the tides in our favor."

"What are you talking about?" I asked quietly, my stomach dropping. I didn't like how this was going.

Jared sighed, pulling me against the wall. He leaned close, tracing a button on my cardigan. His eyes pleaded with mine. "A girl against the entire pack? Who would you believe? She doesn't have anyone that backs her up, so the story could be passed off like the boy who cried wolf – in this case, the _girl_ that cried wolf."

I winced, pulling myself away from him. I felt as though I was stabbed and yet, I was the one stabbing my best friend in the back. Would I really do that? Would I really let Jenny flounder without someone to help hold her up?

"I can't," I whispered, looking Jared in the eye. "I can't do that to her. I'll – I'll believe her."

Jared didn't look angry at my declaration. He wasn't surprised either, though, it made him sad. "Yeah, I thought you would."

It broke my heart when his head sagged and he stuffed his hands in his pockets. He watched the floor with his face in shadow; a deep frown twisted his face. I may have been stabbing my best friend in the back, but I was stabbing Jared in the heart. I couldn't just be on a side. I'd forever be in the middle.

"I – I didn't mean it like that," I said quickly, grabbing his arm. I let my forehead drop to his shoulder. "I'm sorry… I don't know what to do. I can't let Jenny just… but you…"

I was lost.

Jared kissed my temple, carefully titled my head up before he stepped back. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"It's okay, Kim. I understand… I just…" he muttered. He watched me for a moment before he walked away, his shoulders slumped.

I watched him go. I wanted to scream. I got the feeling that he just gave me permission to rip the piece of my heart he owned and take Jenny's side, to break his heart and be where he thought I should be.

Didn't he know I wanted to be with him?

---

Jared skipped third period. He was nowhere to be found at lunch. After school, I marched to his truck to give him a piece of my mind – to tell him he was crazy for thinking I'd just abandon him – but it was Paul who was leaning against the truck.

"He ran home," Paul said when I came into shouting distance.

"Why are you still here then?" I asked, scowling at my feet. I was mad at Jared. _How could he?_

"Waiting for you," Paul said. He stared at me, studying my face.

"Why?" I asked when he didn't say anything.

"He's being an idiot and I know you're taking it personally," Paul muttered, pushing off from the side of the truck. He glanced at me, rolling his eyes at my confusion. "Just because we don't talk, doesn't mean I don't hear everything you say to Jared." He thought for a moment. "Especially during the night."

I frowned, following him to the driver's side of the truck. I stumbled on the curb, but caught myself before I did a face plant. "What does that mean?"

He paused with his hand on the door, shaking his head. "You know what it means. I see his thoughts. If Jared was… reminiscing about you from during the day, I see it. I don't like it, but I do. I know you're painfully shy, like vanilla ice cream, and _hate it_ when someone's upset with you."

I glared, blushing slightly. I didn't like the idea that Paul knew things about me, especially things I'd told Jared when we were alone. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't get me wrong… he tries. But, even to him, those random, annoying songs start to get on everyone's nervous." Paul snorted, shaking his head again. "You know, those kid songs are _really _annoying after the hundredth time."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said truthfully. I crossed my arms over my chest, glancing around to make sure no one was listening. Now that Jenny was on to us, to me it felt like everyone could just as easily find out – if they caught conversation or paid attention. Exactly like Jenny did.

Paul rolled his eyes. "Look, Jared's not mad at you. He's sad _for _you – not because of you. He knows you're going to side with the one you know needs the most help, and that means Jenny."

"He's not mad?" I asked in a small voice. I hoped it was true.

Paul growled, rolling his eyes again. He got into the car, the big truck rumbling to life, and leaned out the window. "Kim, if I were you, I'd stay away from Jenny and try to just… forget the whole thing."

Puzzled, I watched him go. I still didn't understand why he waited for me.

---

That night, after convincing Jenny that it wasn't a good night for staking out, because it was cold and sure to rain – while also complaining about my homework load – I tried to fall asleep, when there was a knock on my window. I bolted up, frightened at the sound. Then, I realized it could be Jared.

My wish was crushed when I become conscious of the fact that Jared didn't knock, he just came in. So, I opened it – half expecting it to be Paul – and found Embry.

"Heya Kim," he whispered, grinning at me with his lopsided smile. He wasn't wearing a shirt, only shabby sweatpants, crouching under the window. "What's happenin'?"

"You tell me," I sighed, letting him crawl through. I looked away, not feeling comfortable with having a half naked boy in my room. It was funny because having a half-naked _Jared_ in my room never bothered me.

Embry looked around my room, glancing at the junk on my desk before titled his head as though to peek inside the closet. He didn't move from his spot in the center of the room, thankfully, so I didn't have to tell him to get out of my stuff, but I found it amusing nonetheless.

"Despite what the guys like to think," Embry explained when he noticed I caught him snooping. "I've never been in a girl's room before. Now, up a girl's shirt – "

I held up my hand, squeaking at him to stop. "Please don't finish that sentence."

He grinned at me again. "Well, if you insist."

I sat on my bed, hugging myself. The ache in my chest called for a different boy. I wanted Jared. "What's going on? What's the plan?"

"Well," Embry said, examining my desk chair. He paused while he considered it – probably wondering if it would hold his weight – before deciding against it. He stayed standing. "I'm here to tell you not to worry and that everything is under control."

I frowned, eyeing him suspiciously. "That's it?"

He grinned again. "Nope. Jared told you to tell you he loves you."

I blushed, averting my eye. "No he didn't," I whispered, picking at my pajamas.

Embry laughed. "Yeah, he did. He thought about it too, for a long time. Even after Paul threatened to beat the crap out of him."

"He's still mad at me, isn't he? Is that why he didn't come?" I asked, staring at the floor. I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"No, he's not mad. He's guarding your friend house… Jamie's…"

I looked up, trying not to laugh. "Jenny's?"

Embry snapped his fingers at me, grinning again. "That's the one! Anyway, we heard you talking to her on the phone and realized that maybe you should be more in the plan."

"What is the plan?" I asked impatiently. "I thought I was suppose to relax and 'everything was under control.'"

Embry shrugged, looking around my room again. "Well, you're in the plan again. Sam wants you to try and – "

"I have been," I said, gritting my teeth. "She won't drop it. And I don't think socially killing her is a good idea either."

"What about you?" he asked, crossing his arms.

I frowned confusedly at him. "What does that mean?"

He shrugged, uncrossing his arms and taking a step forward to my desk. He picked up a fluffy pen, twirling it in his fingers. "Well, by siding with Jenny, you'll kill yourself too, you know."

I'd never thought of that.

"Is that why Jared's… mad?" I guessed, glancing up at Embry. He'd dropped the pen and was flipping through one of the magazines Jenny and I had bought when we'd tried to improve me look.

"Yeah, kind of. He's worried about you, mostly. He doesn't want… you to be sad," Embry said, looking up from the magazine. "I don't think you realize that your pain is his pain. He knows you'll be a good friend to Jessie and end up alienating yourself from everyone in the process."

"Jenny," I corrected him mindlessly. My thoughts spun in my head, making me seasick. I placed a hand on my forehead, suddenly understanding what the pack was going to do – what their 'under control' plan was. "Are you telling me you're going to socially destroy Jenny, so that her ideas aren't even considered to be truthful?"

Embry hesitated, shifting uneasily on his care feet. He glanced around before shrugging, flashing me a sheepish smile. "Sorry, Kimmy. We won't do it on purpose, but if we totally deny her ideas than… well, you know people. They'll make up their own assumptions and call her crazy for thinking such things."

I whimpered, hiding my face in my hands. That would kill Jenny. She already was lonely, alone at home with her parents constant bickering, alone at school with her quiet ways and interest in books - instead of parties. Jenny and I were similar that way. If I wasn't sure if I could take isolation like that, Jenny certainly couldn't.

"You can't do that Embry," I whispered, looking up at him. "You can't – you'll hurt her!"

Embry shrugged helplessly. "Take it up with Sam, Kim. He can't think of any other way without telling someone else… he's already pissed that some mom's have found out." He shook his head, running a hand over his buzzed hair. "She wouldn't believe us anyway… if we told her, I mean… right?"

I shrugged, heaving a dry chuckle. "She thinks your monsters. Why would she?"

Embry was quiet, watching me almost like Jared did – wide eyes and dark shadows hiding his expression. I knew he didn't want to hurt anyone, but his loyalties lay with the pack and he was like Sam, he'd do anything to keep his family safe.

I sighed, hiding my face again. Tears burned my eyes but I was determined not to let them fall. I would go to Sam Uley and fix this.

* * *

**author's note: **_Jared is hurting right now because he knows Kim's walking into something that's going to break her apart – he's scared. He knows he can't talk Kim out of helping her best friend, but he doesn't want to let her walk into a dangerous situation – he's a little lost right now. _

_The next chapter should be up soon. _

_Please leave a review. I really appreciate your comments. _

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses _

* * *

**Wanna play a game?:**** I went to a play last night downtown, and a cast member asked where everyone was from, but some of them he thought they were making up to shout out to him. I guess having lived in Washington my whole life the names aren't strange to me. **

**So, here's my game. **_**Without cheating**_**, can you pick out the name that I've made up? **

**Sequim, Enumclaw, ****Humptulips, Pysht, Tulalip, Ritzville, Puyallup, or Walla Walla **


	29. Chapter Twentysix: Turkey Sandwiches

**Excuse all grammar mistakes. I'm in a hurry, again, so if you tell me I'll fix them later. This chapter is short, but it tells you what you need to know. **

* * *

_Playlist: Death Cab for Cutie_

Chapter Twenty Six – Turkey Sandwiches:

_Pinnacle – (noun) highest point, mountain peak, pointed ornament_

It was raining today. Jared was leaning on the porch railing with his arms crossed. The shoulders of his sweater shirt were damp and his hair dripped because he didn't have a hood. He watched me struggle to get my raincoat with an impassive expression. After a minute, though, he pushed off the railing and came over to help me, guiding my arm back to reach the arm hole. He then, flipped my hood up for me, concealing my hair and half my face. He didn't say a word, but the way his lip lifted slightly I knew he found it funny.

I flushed, slightly embarrassed about my flustered state. My nervous had grown significantly since that morning when I'd called Jared. I was hoping never to have to talk to Sam directly, but I seemed plans changed and I would be forced to confront him about his lack of stealth in his plan. Jenny wouldn't only became sad and lonely, she'd become irritated and more motivated to strike down Sam Uley and his clan of beasts. It was a lose-lose situation.

Jared closed the front door from me and then suddenly pulled me to him to kiss me on the temple, lingering slightly before letting his hand slide down to my hand. I grasped it, giving him a smile before letting him pull me down the street. He didn't return it, but squeezed my hand, staring forward.

I sighed, watching my shoes pass over the street below. I didn't understand why Jared was being so distant and dramatic about the situation. I knew he understood that Jenny was the one that needed my attention at that moment, but that didn't make him any less important to me. I was always backing both of them and giving most of my energy to Jenny didn't change that. At this point in time, she was the one that needed it – especially if Sam was going to squish her into the ground.

It was also unfair that Jared automatically assumed I would side with Jenny. He should have known that I was conscious of the fact that we were tangled together now, not just Kim and Jared, but _Kim and Jared._ What happened to one, happened to another.

Breaking his heart would break mine. _Didn't he know that?_

After a minute, I grew uncomfortable with the silence. "Thank you for doing this, Jared."

"It's no problem, Kim," he croaked, turning to look at me. He frowned slightly, a crease forming on his brow. "I don't mind."

"I know," I said, swinging our hands slightly. I took a deep breath, relinquishing in the heat of his hand. It was a signal of safety. "I just… I know it's silly… Sam's nice and all, but…"

"Kim," Jared said, a smile catching on his face. "He scares you, I get that."

"Not that much…" I mumbled, blushing. I was intimated by the pack, no matter how friendly they were. I figured in time, this would change, but for the time being I had to suck up my guts and be brave.

Jared wrapped an arm around my shoulders. He relaxed out of his bad mood just enough to allow a small chuckle to escape. He pulled me close to him, slightly pushing off my hood so he could nuzzle his nose into my neck, placing small kisses below my ear. My breathing picked up and the world swam slightly in and out of focus. The cooling rain kissing my face was a nice contrast to the overwhelming heat that wanted to devour me in that moment. I gasped, giggling slightly, at how close I was to Jared – how far he let me in sometimes. It was scary how open we became to each other, but most times I smiled at the chance to be consumed.

The walk to Sam Uley's was fairly quick. The house bordered the forest, next to an old beach trail that led down to a rocky shore that had tide pools when the tide was high enough. Most of the time, people stuck to the sandier beaches, flat enough that you could walk on them without your shoes. They usually led to the lighthouses that tourist liked to visit when they came into town.

Sam didn't have many neighbors. The closes one was a block down, hidden mostly by big evergreens. He was in the part of the town that was still developing, where all the new houses were being built for the almost-nothing-rise in population. Every couple years or so, the town would need a new house if it wanted to keep people there.

I squinted at the yellow house, surprised and confused. "I thought you said it was little?"

"No, I said we call it the Little House – not that it was actually little." Jared raised an eyebrow at me, chuckling when I rolled my eyes at him.

The Little House was in fact large. It was two stories with a big lawn and wide drive. Although, the vehicles seemed to spill out onto the grass, leaving tread marks in the green lawn. There were two trucks, one blue and Jared's black one, a silver Honda, and a van that I'd seen at the barbeque, belonging to Emily.

We cut across the yard, stepping over the small garden Emily had growing next to the path up to the front door. She also had three flower boxes hanging under the big windows on the front of the house, filled with tulips and small flowers like pansies.

Jared squeezed my hand one more time before lifting his hand to knock. Before he could, though, Emily opened the wooden door. She was holding a kitchen towel, drying her hands on it. "Hello! It's about time. We've been waiting for you!"

She let us pass into the house, closing the door behind Jared with a whine from the wood. She quickly pushed his aside and pulled me into a motherly hug. She smelled like vanilla. "It's so nice to see you again, Kim," she said, grinning at me with a one-sided grin.

I smiled at her, letting her take my hand and pull me into the living room. I glanced over my shoulder, relieved when I saw Jared trailing us. He gave me a small smile when he say me looking.

There were three boys watching TV, Embry, Quil, and another I didn't recognize, who all looked up simultaneously when we walked past. Quil and the other boy smiled nicely, but Embry smirked, winking suggestively at me. I heard Jared growl quietly under his breath and I giggled, glancing behind me to see him shoot a glare at Embry.

The kitchen was white with dark countertops and an old stove in front of a window overlooking the backyard. There was an island as you walked in the door where Paul and Sam were sitting, eating sandwiches that Emily had no doubt just made.

"Would you like one?" Emily asked, walking over to the counter. She gestured to the loaf of bread and cut up tomatoes still on the cutting board.

"Still have turkey?" Jared asked, sitting next to Paul. They bumped fist without exchanging a word.

"I'm fine," I answered quietly, sitting on the last barstool next to Jared. He placed a hand on my knee, knowing I was stressing. I sighed, gripping his arm to comfort myself.

"You sure, Kim?" Paul asked, wolfing down the rest of his half. "Emily makes the best."

I nodded, flashing a weak smile to the left. I kept my eyes down casted, a fresh bout of nerves rising in my throat.

The boy from the living room strolled in, bulky in the chest area with thick dark hair. He kept it longer than the rest of the pack, letting it fall into his shadowy face. He was handsome, lean and tall. However, something chilled me when he walked and leaned on the counter top. He seemed more impulsive and wild compared to Jared and Paul. It was unsettling. I stared at him for a moment, something familiar in his stance, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"Kim, this is Jacob Black," Jared said quietly, nodding his head to the boy.

The light went off in my head, but I didn't say anything. I'd seen him once or twice in the grocery store with his dad, around town looking for car parts, and even in school, down the lower classmen hallways.

Jacob turned his head to flash a lazy grin, but his eyes didn't stay on me. They flickered to Sam, waiting from something.

"He wasn't at the barbeque," Jared continued, talking only to me. Emily handed him his sandwich and he smiled at her in thanks. "But, he's Sam's beta."

"Beta?" I asked quietly, feeling stupid again. I wished I remembered to ask Jared these questions when we were alone, so I wouldn't feel like a fool when I asked them around the pack.

"Second in command," Jared said patiently. One hand returned to my thigh, the other stuffed sandwich in his face.

I crossed my arms and placed them on the counter top, resting my head on them. I suddenly felt overwhelmed, that there was too much going on within the pack that I would never understand and be able to keep up with.

I closed my eyes, focusing on the way Jared's hand rested hot on my thigh, giving me silent comfort and strength. He would always be there, to hold me up. He would always be willing to walk paths that I led him down that he didn't necessarily want to go. He would always be there, for me, like I was always there for him.

Suddenly, I snapped my head up. I blinked my eyes open and took a deep breath, feeling the courage to speak my mind blossom in my chest. I acted on impulse, afraid if I stopped and thought about it, I would chicken out again.

"Sam," I said. He finished chewing, took a slow sip of his Coke, before turning his head towards me. He looked me right in the eye, knowing exactly what I was going to say. "Sam, I don't think your plan will work. It's not smart and thoughtful. It'll cause more problems that solving them."

His eyes flickered slightly, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips, before his face went blank. "Yeah, it might. Why do you think so?"

"You can't hurt Jenny," I said, slouching slightly in my seat. I picked at a hole in my jeans. "She's not trying to do anything wrong. She knows that so hurting her would only make her more determined to be right… because she knows she's right."

"Does she?" He glanced down at his plate, sliding it up towards Emily who took it and placed it in the sink. Jared wasn't looking at me, his grip on my thigh tight. Paul was staring right at me, an eyebrow quirked higher than the other. "What makes you think she's right?"

"I'm…" The words died on my tongue. I only knew her to be right because I knew the truth, but if Jenny was looking for confirmation, she didn't necessarily know if she was right or not. She was working off a hunch.

"Kim, my plan is to teach her a lesson about sticking her nose into other people's business. Your friend…"

"Jenny," I supplied, a frown forming on my face. My chest stung slightly at the knowledge they didn't even know the name of the life they were planning to ruin.

"Yes, Jenny, She –, " He paused, shifting in his seat so he faced me. "She's walking where she doesn't belong. I don't know how else to discourage her from exposing secrets she has no right to share."

"If you showed her somehow…" I tried faintly. Sam watched me, the answer already on his face. Tears prickled my eyes.

"I think we should tell her the truth," Jared stated suddenly. He was watching his empty plate, his hand still tight on my leg. "She's looking for proof, not the actual truth. Would she really believe us if we told her it was true and that we protected the town from those leeches living up in Forks?"

"You know that's not –"

"No," Jared interrupted quickly. "I know we're not supposed to, but since she already knows, what could it hurt? She's not going to go to the police saying, 'Oh, yeah. Sam Uley told me he transformed into a big wolf.'"

"She might," I said quietly.

Jared shook his head. "Jenny's smart. She knows that would only make her an idiot."

Paul gave a barking laugh, slapping the counter with his hand. He shook his head before nodding towards Jared. "I like it."

Jacob didn't say anything. He seemed hesitant, wanting to be older than he really was. He didn't seem that much younger than me, maybe only by a year or too. I wondered why he had become higher on the totem pole than Jared or Paul. I wondered if this upset them at all.

"The bonfire is this Thursday," Sam muttered quietly. "She can't attend. But, if I spoke to her privately… I'm not sure how this would work. Why wouldn't she go to the police if I told her all that she needed to know?"

"Oh…" I said, smiling. "I get it. You don't think she wants proof to be right, but to be wrong."

Jared nodded. "She already has evidence against us. What more does she want? Plus, you said that she's already gone to the Elders. Maybe she's trying to convince herself that it isn't true."

"So by telling her everything, what good would that do?" Jacob asked. His forehead wrinkled and he crossed his arms, tilting his head towards Jared.

"Telling her would shock her," I answered before Jared could. "She doesn't want to believe it – it's like saying aliens are real and this is the proof… it's scary. You don't want to believe stuff that isn't… possible because it's not possible!"

"She knows that if we were going to hurt someone, we would have already done it because as far as she knows, vampires and werewolves have been around a long time without any deaths," Jared concluded. He glanced at me, holding my gaze for a moment. "She's just looking out for Kim."

---

I walked next to Jenny, holding her hand as I led her to Sam's. After our meeting, Jared drove me home so I could call Jenny and explain that Sam Uley had found out that she had a theory about him. She panicked for a moment, questioning me if I'd told anyone anything, but I denied it and told her that maybe the Elders had told him after she'd gone to them. I said that Sam just wanted to set the record straight and have a chat with her about it. It took some convinced and a promise that I'd be with her the whole time before she agree. I met her down at the corner where 7-Eleven was.

"You have nothing to worry about," I said again, tugging her hand to cross the street. I could just make out the Little House through the tall trees. "It'll all be okay. Sam's a nice guy. He won't hurt you."

Jenny's hand had a death grip on mine. She looked over her shoulder every once in awhile, as thought she was afraid someone or something was going to jump out at her. Her breathing wasn't regular and she had a fine layer of sweat on her brow, despite it being cold and rainy.

"If you're sure…" she mumbled, swallowing thickly.

I saw Jared leaning on his truck in the drive, waiting for us. I thought it would be a good idea if it were just Jenny and I walking to the Little House. I thought too much strange men would push her over the edge. She had to relax and trust me before listening to anything Sam had to say. I was the one she was going to look at for denial, but if she didn't trust me, she wouldn't trust Sam and therefore, this plan would never work.

"Hey Jenny," Jared said politely when we were close enough. He pushed off the truck and came to stand at the end of the drive with his hands in his pockets.

Jenny nodded stiffly, keeping her eyes on her shoes. I smiled slightly at Jared, nodding my head that she was as ready as she'd ever be.

Sam sat on a reclined chair, reading the paper when we walked into the living room. He was wearing a shirt and new jeans, completely with a pair of socks. He looked normal.

I stifled a giggle.

"Jenny," he said when we entered. He smiled kindly, gesturing to the old leather couch. "Have a seat."

Jared went into the kitchen to keep Jenny and me the majority in this conversation. I got comfortable, knowing this would be a long and difficult talk. Jenny, however, stood rigid and ready to bolt at a moment's notice.

"I'm Sam Uley," Sam said, introducing himself. "I heard that you think I'm some kind of beast with a clan of wolves."

Jenny nodded awkwardly. Her eyes darted to the side and then back again, afraid of him. A tinge of guilt tasted on my tongue, but I sighed, knowing this was what had to be done. It was better that socially destroying her.

Sam nodded at her nod, leaning back in his chair. "Well," he sighed, rubbing his shaved head. "There isn't an easy way to say this. Your right, Jenny."

I don't know what I was expecting, but silence wasn't it. I peeked over at her, but she looked as though he'd just told her his favorite color.

Sam started to explain, slowly outlining the legends and explaining why werewolves existed. When he got to the part about vampires, Jenny turned white, but didn't say a word. Sam's explanation was mostly what Jared told me when he was explaining himself all those weeks ago. I could tell the wheels were turning in her head because Jenny's expression would shift slightly to different variations of shock, but it always stayed frozen in surprise. Sometimes she looked horrified and like she was going to be sick.

After Sam finished, he waited. We both stared at Jenny.

It took a moment, but she finally sucked in a breath, turning to the left. I thought she was going to throw up, but she sighed instead, wiping her eyes. A couple tears fell into her jeans, creating a small drops of wetness.

"It's true?" she asked hoarsely. She looked to me, hoping to get a shake of the head. She got a nod instead.

"It can't be," she said, shaking her head. "It can't – it's not possible."

Sam and I didn't say anything. I fiddled with the zipper of my raincoat, guilt eating away at my stomach. I'd forgotten what a burden the secret was at first, how heavy it was on your chest. I had Jared to pull me through it, forcing me to accept it, but who would Jenny have? I didn't know what to say to her to help her. There wasn't anything I _could _say. Acceptance was something she'd have to do alone.

"Why are you telling me this?" Jenny asked quietly. She stared at the floor, dazed and white as a sheet.

"I don't want you to tell anyone. It's not a secret that everyone needs to know," Sam answered gently. "I think you can understand that."

Jenny started to cry silently. "I can't tell anyone. They won't believe me."

"They won't hurt anyone," I mumbled, putting my arm around her. I was hesitant, wondering if she'd push me off, but she leaned into me.

"I know," she choked out, sniffling. "I didn't want it to be true…"

---

Jenny spent the night at my house, lying next to me in my bed. I knew she wasn't sleeping either, but we didn't say anything. I held her hand, trying to silently give her strength the way Jared did for me.

Around midnight, she rolled towards me on her side. "Kim," she whispered. "Kim, I'm sorry."

I rolled to my side, facing her, confused. "For what? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I should have just let it go like you told me," she said. She sniffled in the darkness and I knew then she was crying again.

"I'm proud of you, actually," I admitted. "I didn't think you'd figure it out and you did."

I paused, taking a deep breath. This past week seemed like a dream, a very bad dream. Now that it was over, it was hard to remember why it was such a nightmare. Everything ended smoothly – no one got hurt. It was almost too good to be true.

I exhaled heavily. "I was… scared about what you were getting yourself into," I continued quietly.

"I don't know what to do…" she mumbled, her voice cracking. Her hand tightened on mine.

"You don't do anything," I said softly. I squeezed her hand back. "Don't worry, I freaked out when Jared told me, too. But, I realized that I rather live with him than without him. He and the pack are doing a good thing, too. They're the ones in danger…"

"Do you worry about him?"

I didn't expect that question from Jenny, but answered it nonetheless. "All the time."

"I still feel like I should tell someone to… stop it. But, there isn't anything to stop, is there?" Jenny shifted closer to me, lowering her voice. "It's not… illegal and they're not hurting anyone."

"Exactly," I said, smiling. The pressure in my chest finally let go and I could breathe freely.

Jenny was quiet for a moment, her breathing loud next to me. She wasn't sniffling anymore. "Kim," she said. "Kim, I still don't like Jared."

I laughed, quickly pushing my face into my pillow to stifle the sound. I heard Jenny chuckle quietly next to me.

Some things wouldn't change.

* * *

**author's note: **_Sorry… I've been graduating, having parties, enjoying the sun, and sleeping. This chapter was really, __really__ hard to write. I'm sorry if I sucks. I wrote it four times and this was the best way it came out. _

_I have a couple of announcements:_

_- __There are only two chapters left – including the epilogue. I've planned it all out and have started writing the ending. I think it's time to end this. _

_**- I was nominated for the **_**Best Alternate Pairing **_**on the**_** Immortal Cookie Awards. **_**I can't tell you how wonderful I feel and how flattered I am. So, to anyone that has read this story and liked it, thank you. **_

_- I'm writing two stories right now. One is for Collin – a story that was never given the proper attention it needed. It's completely different than _Brighter Than Sunshine_ and will be taking that story down once I put the new one up. The other is for Edward and Bella – AU. I'm still in the planning process and my new beta (Bronzehairedgirl720) is helping me greatly, so you could be seeing it soon. _

_Please leave a review. I'd really appreciate it._

_Thanks, Little Black Dresses_

_Btw – last chapter we played a game. Thanks to all those you participated. It was fun hearing your guesses. The answer is that all of the names, actually, are real towns in Washington State. haha. _


	30. Chapter Twentyseven: Meeting Mom

**Definitely not my best chapter. I can't seem to get this one out right. It should have been up days ago, but I wasn't happy with it. Hopefully you can enjoy it. Please excuse all mistakes… because I know they're there. **

* * *

_Playlist: Hey Delilah - The Plain White T's_

Chapter Twenty-Seven – Meeting Mom:

_Grief - (noun) intense sorrow, cause of intense sorrow, trouble _

Jared sat crossed-legged in the middle of the bed, waiting for me. The expression he wore was morose, drawing his features down into a gloomy look. I felt my heart jump into my throat when I saw him. He wore nothing expect for a pair of cut offs and some twinge around his left foot. He noticed me, staring at me for a moment, before looking away, without a smile.

He seemed lost.

I carefully crawled in front of him, mirroring his position and shifting close enough so our knees were overlapping. I frowned at him, trying to pick out what was wrong just by his appearance.

I'd shown Jenny out that morning, early enough so she could get ready for school. At first, I'd been worried about what the night had done to her, but seeing her relaxed with her color back, it seemed sleeping on it had been a good thing. She seemed light and happy, able to breathe again.

I went back to my room, trying to decide if I wanted to eat breakfast first before taking a shower, when I was met with Jared sitting on my bed. I was pleasantly surprised. I hadn't been expecting to see him until later, at school. But, after a closer inspection, I realized that something was wrong.

Without looking up, he'd asked me if I could skip school today. His voice had been hoarse.

"I'll see," I whispered, turning right back around and marched downstairs to where my mom was sitting, nursing a cup of coffee. She looked like she was about to fall over – hair out of her bun and eyes sagging with purple bags under her eyes. I wondered if she'd had a hard shift that night.

"I don't feel well, mom. Can I take the day off?" I asked, trying to act sick. I slouched where I stood and held a hand to my stomach, letting her assume what was wrong. I had only faked sick once before, and that time wasn't successful. I was hoping my luck had changed.

My dad walked in, his heavy steps shaking the floor slightly as he got closer. He ruffled my hair. "I think that's a good idea if you don't feel up to school," he said, glancing at my mom. "I'll call the school."

My mom stood up, taking her coffee. She barely grazed my forehead before waving me away, telling me to go back to bed.

I'd been waiting for Jared to say something for the past twenty minutes. I'd listened to everyone leave and my mom collapse into bed. I could hear her snore through the walls. But, he just stared right through me. His eyes were glazed over, out of focus, and his shoulders were slumped as though his thoughts were depressing. I hadn't seen him so out of it before.

I shifted closer to him, trying to physically do what I couldn't emotionally. I reached out a hand, brushing his hair out of his face with my finger tips. He closed his eyes, sighing at my touch.

"What's wrong?" I whispered in a small voice. My stomach rolled nauseously, worried.

He opened his eyes slowly, squinting at me like seeing me for the first time. He hesitated before dropping his head, his hands twisting in his lap. "I want you to meet my ma."

I frowned, my heart rising from where it had dropped down in my stomach. _That's it? _I didn't understand why that would upset him.

"Can't I do that after school?" I wondered out loud, frowning. I knew I was missing something, maybe being blinded from the truth of the matter.

Jared shook his head, tracing a circle on my knee. "I think you should know…" he said quietly. He closed his eyes again, forming words slowly. "I think it's time that you know that… she's not alright. She's very… sad."

I took a deep breath, my heart falling again. I knew enough about his situation at home that this was a hard topic. However, I didn't know the details or what losing his dad really meant to him. Was this what he wasn't telling me? A door opened between us and he was offering to show me through. It was a big step and it obviously worried him. I smiled. "I want to meet her."

He raised a hand and curled one of my curls around his finger, keeping his eyes on the task. "I thought you would," he said lowly. He didn't seem to like my answer. "She wants to meet you, too."

---

We snuck out through my window and walked to Jared's house. It was two streets up from where I lived, down in the older neighborhood of La Push. His house wasn't what I expected it to look like. The lawn had been mowed sometime in the past couple days, but there were so many weeds that there wasn't much grass left. I could tell where a garden had been, where there were still flowers blooming, but in a chaotic array.

There were two large windows on the front of the house, kind of like Sam Uley's, and Mrs. Thail had flower boxes that were just full of dirt. Jared's house must have been a baby blue at one point, but the paint was chipping so badly, it looked more white than blue from the paint primer that was left on the wood.

In the lean-to garage on the side of the house, an old Honda sat there, gathering dust and covered in polled and pine cones that had fallen from the neighboring trees. Old junk was against the walls and stored under blue tarps. Small puddles of water sat where the rain had gathering in the plastic.

Inside the house was a different story. Everything was spotless, except for a few dishes in the sink. The TV was the oldest thing in there, expect for the stove and microwave. There wasn't a dishwasher. The dining table had matching chairs with a pot of fresh flowers sitting in the middle. Today's newspaper was on the coffee table, along with an old box of junk. I noticed Jared staring at it with an expression on his face that I couldn't read.

I wandered around, lingering on old pictures and small treasures sitting on the mantel and shelving space. Old jazz CD's were under the TV, a box of DVD's with seasons of Sex and the City sat next to it. There was a baseball trophy and a mug with a fisherman quote on it.

Jared was in the kitchen, watching me look around. He was leaning on the counter top, with his arms folded over his chest. He still looked troubled.

I admired the kitchen. It was a large area with room to work with elbow space. The window over the sink showed a view off the woods with a slight peek of the mountains through the trees. I liked it there.

"My dad bought this house for my mom because of the kitchen," Jared said quietly when he caught me studying it. "Ma used to cook all the time."

I glanced back at him, frowning at his use of past tense. He stared off down the hallway. I froze, hearing a soft hum grow louder and louder as the footsteps approached. For a moment, there was a tinge of panic in my system. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans, trying to stifle the 'meeting mom' nerves that rolled about in my stomach.

"Jared, are you home?"

A woman in her late 50's rounded the corner, a laundry basket balanced on her hip. She gasped when she saw me, placing a hand on her chest. Her face curved into a beautiful smile, motherly and sweet. She dropped the basket and came towards me, pulling me into a warm hug. I wrapped my arms around her, a sense of familiarity about her that I couldn't place. The nerves I'd felt were gone and I became more relaxed.

"Well, who's this beautiful girl?" the woman said, looking up at Jared. She nudged his arm with her elbow, all the while giggling to herself.

Jared cracked a sad smile, rubbing the back of his neck. I might have been imagining it, but Jared's cheeks flushed ever so slightly.

"Ma, this is Kim Chitto," Jared muttered. He reached out and took my hand, pulling me to his side. He gripped me tightly, as though wanting me with him as he did this. "Kim, this is my ma, Suzann."

Suzann giggled again, a broad smile on her face as she clapped her hands together once. She patted Jared's cheek, muttering something about_, "all grown up!"_

"It's so wonderful to finally meet you, darling. Jared talks about you all the time and it a wonder why it took his so long to bring you to meet me…" She gave him a disapproving look that he sheepishly grinned at.

"I would have cooked something if I knew you were going to come over!" she continued, looking around the kitchen. I didn't see any food, so I wasn't sure what she was planning on making.

"Its fine, ma," Jared muttered quietly. "We already ate."

Suzann muttered under her breath, still looking around the kitchen, oblivious to her surroundings. She opened a few cabinets, but there were nothing but dishes in them.

"Can't seem to remember where I put the groceries," she mumbled, holding her chin as she thought. "I've been so busy doing laundry…"

"Its fine, ma," Jared said again, this time more firmly. He placed a hand on her shoulder, stilling her restless movement. "We're just going to my room, okay?"

"Oh," Suzann said, looking surprised. She nodded her head slowly. "Oh, okay. That's fine. Wait… why aren't you in school?"

I waited her place her hands on her hips, waiting for Jared to answer. Obviously I was the favorite in the house for the time being.

"There wasn't any today," Jared lied quickly. I noticed he looked guilty and turning his head away.

"Oh," Suzann said again, her face clearing of any disapproval. She turned to me, showing all her straight teeth. "It was wonderful to meet you, honey. You're far nicer than this young man led me to believe."

I smiled at her, blushing at her compliment. "It was really nice to meet you, too."

Jared gently let go of her shoulder, walking away slowly. He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, keeping me close to his side. We walked down the hallway, where there were four doors and a back room where I could just make out a washing machine and piles of clothes folded all around it. Jared went to the last door on the left, pushing it open unceremoniously before snapping it shut when we both were inside.

I look around. Jared's room was a dark – the only window covered with a curtain. There was small bed shoved to the wall on the left, that I knew wasn't long enough, and a small closet to the right, that was filled with everything else expect for clothing. Clothes covered the floor and other possessions of his lined shelves and were laying about the room in disorder. It fit him perfectly.

I sat hesitantly on the mattress, noting the way it squeaked with my weight. Jared was leaning against the door, looking depressed while he watched me. I smiled at him, nodding my head.

"I like your mom," I told him. "She's really sweet."

There was no smile on his face. He looked away from me and let his back slide on the door all the way to the ground. "She did laundry yesterday and the day before that. She hasn't gone to the grocery store in weeks now and the only reason she eats is because Sue Clearwater brings her casserole that she doesn't realize is in the fridge until I bring it out. Kim, she's…"

He didn't finish, instead turning his head away.

"She's sad," I finished for him. "She's trying to find where she fits right now. I understand that."

"She's not well…" Jared muttered harshly. He looked down at his hands. "I don't know what to do."

We were quiet for a moment. I didn't know what to say or how to help him. Sadness was a fickle thing – everyone went through it differently and everyone was affected by it uniquely.

"Why haven't you brought me to visit her?" I asked quietly, curling my hair around my ear. I didn't understand why Jared kept such an important part of himself hidden from me. He hid it from everyone else, which was fine and I understood that, but it was the part about hiding it from me, too. I wasn't everyone else.

"You don't deserve this," he answered after a moment. "This house is not happy… I'm not… completely right either."

I slide off the bed and cautiously sat next to him, close enough so that our sides were touching and I could feel his heat. I curled his arm around my shoulders shyly, letting my head rest on his shoulder. He didn't fight me, but pulled me closer.

"You're supposed to feel sad," I whispered. "That's what happens when you lose someone you love. That shows how much you loved them." I paused. "Love them," I muttered, correcting myself.

"You need someone that makes you happy all the time and not…" Jared rubbed his hair, exhaling heavily. "I'm not… I just…"

"You do make me happy," I muttered, blushing into his shoulder at my confession. "All the time."

Jared looked over at me. His eyes swirled with such sadness; it pierced me through the chest. Jared hadn't healed completely, his heart still broken. The past haunted him and it was obvious he carried a burden on his shoulders that weighed too much sometimes for him alone to carry.

"What's wrong, Jared? What aren't you telling me?" I asked, firmly. I wouldn't let my timidity get the best of me. He was still hiding something, something that held him back fully from me. I didn't like it. I wanted the walls down, just Jared and I.

"When my dad died, I was mad at him. I wanted to go to college and have a good job," Jared started. He hesitated for a moment before going on. "He thought I would end up just like him, a fisher man. I… I didn't respect him or his job at that point. I thought he was… an idiot and I thought it stupid to just…"

I waited silently, patiently. I traced the lines of his hand, letting him know what I was there and listening.

Jared took a deep breath before continuing. He ran hand through his hair. "I thought he'd given up – for himself and me. I thought it was stupid that he just quit and accepted everything... He was settling for less and I hated that. I told him… I told him I hated him and… I never got the chance to tell him that I didn't – that I don't."

"He knew you loved him," I said quietly. "He knew you were mad. Parents know that kind of stuff."

Jared held his head in his hands, hiding himself from me. I kept my distance, knowing he didn't want to be weak in front of me. It was unnerving how vulnerable Jared had become. He was my rock and, to see him so distressed, caused me almost to panic. I didn't know how I was supposed to help him stand, help him heal.

Jared suddenly took my hand and pulled me to him for a sweet kiss. He lingered long enough to destroy coherent thought, before resting his forehead on my shoulder, holding me to him in his lap. I then understood. Just being there for him was enough.

---

By noon, I was back in my room, lying on my bed. I heard my mother's gently snoring from the room a couple doors down, so I didn't worry about having been caught away.

I'd chatted with Suzann for awhile after Jared and I sat for awhile. At first, I was uncomfortable with all the attention she gave me. I swear she was expecting to find a ring on my finger in the next couple days. She gushed about me to me, telling me how wonderful I was and how good I was for Jared.

Jared would sometimes pink when Suzann talked about him or about him with me. He didn't say much, instead watched and let me do the talking. I'd caught him staring into his coke sometimes, with a blank expression, but he was mostly there, smiling when his mother got especially happy about something.

There were times where she was disoriented, but I almost expected it of her. She was a sad woman – you could see it in her eyes – but she was also ready to heal and move on.

I rolled over on my stomach and texted Jenny about being sick, asking her to please pick up my homework for me. She responded quickly, letting me know she would.

I didn't have to wait much longer for Jared. He'd gone out to get us some food and came back with burgers from McDonald's. He leaped effortlessly through my window, landing lightly on my carpet. He dripped silently on my carpet from the misty rain, before he pulled off his sweatshirt. I blushed when I got a flash of bare torso.

He dropped the food in front of me before mirroring my criss-cross position, letting his knees touch mine. He paused for a second, noticing my pink, and traced a finger on my cheekbone. He smirked at me without saying anything.

I cleared my throat, trying to get the embarrassment to pass out of my system. "Thank you," I said quietly, giving him a smile. I chewed on a fry, unwrapping my burger. "I'm really hungry."

Jared winked at me, giving me a small smile. "Anything to help the sick."

I laughed, throwing a fry at him before taking a big bite of my burger. "You think my mom will ever know," I asked thickly, trying to chew through my words.

Jared shook his head, almost done with his burger. He pulled out another one from the bag while stuffing the rest of the first one into his mouth. "Not unless you tell her."

We chatted quietly as we ate – me finishing my burger while Jared finished his third. He would grin at me every once in awhile, seemingly happy. I would tingle all the way to my toes, knowing what swirled in his eyes mirrored my own. Something had passed between us, lifting the tension and leaving us with nothing but ourselves. Everything was out in the open and it was refreshing.

For the first time, I was the one to lean in and start a kiss. I wasn't afraid anymore because there wasn't anything left hidden. Jared was under my skin, his insides just as familiar as my own. There wasn't anything to be scared of. He loved me for my flaws, so I shouldn't be shy about them.

He wrapped his arm around my waist, burying a hand in my hair and sticking his tongue down my throat while simultaneously convincing my mother, when she came to say goodbye as she left for work, that I had a fever and should stay in bed. I was even woozy enough from his thought-stealing that she thought I should stay home tomorrow, too.

* * *

**author's note:** _I tried not to make it too heavy. Kim gets just the surface of all the grief, just like any one that hasn't lost someone, so Jared is much darker about his mother than Kim is. However, when Jared's sad, so is Kim. That's how love works._

_You didn't think I'd end this without Kim meeting his mother, did you? :)_

_I was thinking about it and I'm kind of pissed that SM didn't write Sam and Emily's wedding into Breaking Dawn. I was planning on having the bonfire be the epilogue, but the wedding might be better. Who would like to see the wedding? (That means there will be two more chapters left to this story.)_

_Please review. I think people are really done with this story – the review count is really bad – but I want to thank everyone who did review. I still need to know what you think. Reviews tell me about my writing and how I can get better. _

_Thank you, Little Black Dresses_


	31. Chapter Twentyeight: Bonfire

**I'm sorry for the long time lapse in-between updates. I'm on vacation at the moment. I read this over and ****I feel as though something's missing in this chapter, but it's the best I could make it. I hope you all enjoy. This story as also reached its year one mark. I can't believe it. **

* * *

_Playlist: Your love music. _**_–_ **R.I.P. Michael Jackson.

Chapter Twenty-Eight – Bonfire:

_Infatuation – (noun) an intense but short lived and irrational passion for somebody or something_

I hopped out of Jared's truck, with his help, onto the wet gravel of the beach parking lot. The wind was blowing that night, causing me to shiver as I shoved my arm into my jacket. I glanced around, looking past Jared to see a huge fire being built up by three boys. They were throwing huge chunks of drift wood onto the flame, making it cackle with the salt etched into the grain.

Jared was watching me carefully, making sure I zipped my coat up all the way and wrapped the scarf around my neck tightly. He'd made it clear that it was going to be cold and that I should bundle up.

"Why are we here again, exactly?" I asked, closing the truck door behind me. I stuff my hands into the coat pockets, hunching my shoulders to keep the chill off my skin.

"Old Quil and Billy Black are going to repeat the legends," Jared answered, finally slipping his sweatshirt over his torso, satisfied by the way I was dressed. It was more for show than function. He and I both knew he didn't need it. "You, Emily, and a few others haven't heard them yet. Plus, it might answer any questions you still have."

I was excited.

Jared suddenly grabbed the front of my jacket, pulling me to him with a jerk. I squealed, surprised, before melting as his lips touched mine. He held me there, close to him, for a couple beats, rocking my world and warming my blood. The heat was soothing aching muscles in my chest from the time spent at a distance. It wasn't a long kiss, more of a greeting and a reconnection of sorts. We both needed it, not having seen each other since the night before when we ate hamburgers on my bed.

Jared pulled away and gently pushed me back to a respectable distance. He grinned at my expression, taking my hand and tugging me towards the fire.

Emily was sitting in a chair, tediously opening package after package of hot dogs and carefully laying them on a platter so the boys could stab and cook with the hangers she'd straightened to cook them on. I noticed she had enough chips to feed a hundred people and enough soda to wash them all down.

"Are you sure you bought enough?" I asked Emily, teasing her.

She smiled at me in greeting before glancing back over her shoulder at all the food. She turned back looking worried. "I hope so. Do you think we need more?"

I decided not to answer, worried that I would upset her because what did I know about boys and their food? Jared chuckled at me, pulling me down beside him on a piece of driftwood Sam, Paul, and Embry had arranged around the fire. I saw them out in the distance, arm loads of wood each, probably so they wouldn't have to interrupt the tellers to keep the fire going.

"So, are you excited to hear our history?" Emily asked, pulling open another hot dog package. She was bundled up like I was, wearing one of Sam's huge sweatshirts.

I nodded, grinning at her. "I've never heard them before. It should be cool."

Jared got me set up with a wire hanger and a hot dog. Once he got his, he pulled me into his lap. I blushed when I noticed Emily staring at us with a sweet smile on her face.

"I can sit…" I mumbled, quietly. I let my head rest on his shoulder.

Jared shook his head, inspecting his hot dog. "There are a lot of people coming. Don't want to take up space."

I knew he was making that up because there were more than enough chairs and spots for me to sit by myself, but I didn't fight it. Sitting in his lap wasn't exactly torture.

People started arriving shortly after Jared and I did. Embry walked up and took the spot next to Jared and wasting no time in getting his hot dog cooking. Paul came up with Sam; sitting on Jared's other side, next to me. He winked at me, reaching around to grab a hot dog.

"Now don't freak out, Kim," he said, stabbing at the platter. He glanced at me with a smirk. "Jared will protect you."

Jared growled low in his throat. Paul snickered, shaking his head. "Oh relax! I'm just teasing."

Sam took his place next to Emily, holding her hand as he took the hot dog she'd prepared for him. He spoke up, a frown on his face as he thanked her. "I'm sure Kim will be very comfortable right there, Paulie. Too bad there's no one around to enjoy your presence."

Jared snickered, hiding his face in my neck. I bit my lip, hiding me smile. The last thing I wanted was to provoke Paul and rile him up further.

Paul shot a heated glare at Sam, but said nothing.

Quil arrived with his old grandfather, leading him to a folding lawn chair next to Sam. He looked brittle sitting there, as though the wind could blow him away. His skin was paler than most Quileute people, wrinkled like worn paper. He and Sam chatted quietly, smiling like old friends. I noticed he was missing a few teeth though, and his voice was gritty as though he'd smoked all his life.

Quil sat next to Embry, getting himself a hot. He didn't even say hello before he started digging into the food.

Leah, Seth, and Sue Clearwater came shortly after that. Sue brought a Tupperware full of fruit that she sat next to the hot dogs. Emily and I were the only ones that touched it. She sat on Old Quil's other side, in another folding lawn chair. They chatted a bit, making small talk.

I was expecting Sue to look more like Suzan, Jared's mom – fatigued and weepy – but Sue sat proudly, her hair in its place and the sleep she was getting on her face. I wasn't sure what to think. There was a sort of sadness that clung to her as she spoke, her words soft and careful, as though she was afraid she'd unravel if she didn't. But, there was a strength that glowed from her that I couldn't help but admire because she was living without regret and joyful about the life she'd experienced.

I watched Sue for a moment before taking another bit of my hot dog. I noticed Leah sitting towards the left, on the sand instead of the drift wood placed for her. I didn't understand why Leah would torture herself and sit across from the happy couple that ruined her life. I couldn't bear to think about losing Jared, but I think it would be worse to watch the love of your life be happy with someone else. She sat stiffly, her pretty face in shadow as she stared at the fire with a blank expression. I wondered what she was thinking.

Seth got a hot dog for both him and his sister, a smile still on his face when his thank you was a scowl.

Jacob was next to show up, pushing his aged dad as far as the wheelchair would go on the beach, before picking it up gently, a couple inches from the ground, and caring it to the spot next to Sue Clearwater and Old Quil. I was amazed that Jacob wasn't even winded. Or, his back wasn't broken.

"I'll be back," he called, jogging back to his Rabbit.

I looked over my shoulder at Jared questioningly.

"He's bringing Bella," he answered quietly. His tone was tinted with annoyance.

He wasn't the only one that looked irritated with the news. The boys grumbled about it until Sam stepped in.

"Hey," Sam warned. He raised his eyebrow at the boys who backed down scowling. "Be nice. She's welcome, understand?"

No one argued with Sam.

Bella Swan and Jacob showed up shortly after that. Her presence made the boys shift that I realized later was probably because of her smell. At the barbeque, they had talked about how she smelled. After while with Jacob's arm around her, the boys relaxed and they ate like there was no tomorrow. I realized that food must be the first thought on their mind 24/7.

Each ate at least ten hot dogs, a whole super sized bag of chips, and drank it all down with a whole two-liter bottle of soda. Jared had shared with me, just because everyone else was hording the food like they'd be starved otherwise.

After everyone started to finish, Paul and Jacob bickering over the last hot dog, a low hum of conversation started. It was during this time that I realized Bella had been staring at me.

I wasn't sure what to make of the 'vampire girl.' She wasn't anything special, pretty but plain. She wore her dark hair down and there wasn't any hint of makeup on her heart shaped face. She was slight, especially next to Jacob who made me wonder if I looked that tiny next to Jared, and was quiet. She didn't say much, other to Jacob who seemed to worship her.

She watched Jared and me closely for awhile. I wondered what she thought of me, the 'wolf girl.' Were our worlds that different? We were in love with men that weren't normal and didn't make life ordinary. Did she regret anything? Did she wish she was in love with someone else? I wouldn't know what to do if Jared wanted to kill me because of the scent of my blood.

With a full stomach, the dim light of the fire, the warmth from Jared around me, and the quiet lull of conversation, I started to drift off. I was nudged awake by Jared, who held me sit up from where I'd curled up into his side.

"Wake up," Jared muttered quietly into my ear. I felt his heated breath down my neck. "It's time."

I was wide awake by then. Everyone had shifted slightly in towards Old Quil, Billy Black, Sue Clearwater, (who I realized took her husband's place in the council) and Sam. I noticed Emily had brought a pen and paper, ready to record what was said. Maybe that's why Jenny had a hard time finding anything out about the legends – there wasn't anything to read about them. Until now, that is.

The story was amazing, about the history of how the wolves came to be. Billy Black told it beautifully, his voice made for the kind of majestic story telling needed to explain this history. The images he created came to life before my eyes and I felt connected more with the boys around me than I ever had before.

I hadn't known how deep Jared's love was for me either. I hadn't realized that he wasn't aging. I turned to look at him when Billy mentioned this, only to get a sheepish grin from Jared. I wasn't annoyed, but surprised. And, his choice that he would make, whether or not to be with me or with his brother's, surprised me, too. I hadn't thought about it like that. Something about the way Jared softly kissed my neck told me he'd pick me and I felt that kind of selfless love shiver down my spine and tingle my body down to my toes.

Old Quil's part about the vampires scared me. Jared's arm tightened around me, sensing my discomfort, but it was for him, not because these 'cold ones' lived so close. Jared had kept the details of his job from me, probably because he knew it would keep me up at night when he wasn't there next to me.

I glanced at Bella during this part, noticing the way she seemed to shrink against Jacob while Old Quil told the tale. I wanted to know what was going on in her head, but the look on her face told me it wasn't a pleasant place. Would she see her vampire love differently after this? Would she still go back to him after knowing the kind of hatred he was capable? I looked closely, seeing awe instead of fear. She must have been reacting to the story then. I didn't understand how she could love someone who wasn't meant to love. Vampires were capable of death and destruction, not humanity. I wondered what this Edward Cullen had that continued to draw little Bella Swan in and kept Jacob Black out. It must have been something wonderful and worth dying for.

Quil said something that I missed. Jared flicked a rock at him, causing the group to chuckle as Quil jump, startled. I wasn't the only one slightly dazed by the story.

The fire died down after awhile. Sam had stopped putting wood onto it. Everyone was wrapped up in themselves, their thoughts preoccupying their attention. There was quiet conversation, but mostly everyone watched the fire, haunted by the tale of the Quileute Tribe and its enemy.

Bella fell asleep against Jacob sometime around eleven. I was almost there myself, my arms wrapped around Jared's torso and my head buried in the crook of his neck, but my thoughts wouldn't leave me alone. I wanted to demand an answer from Bella, to get the explanation that solved the riddle. Why would she pick vampire over werewolf?

I guess I understood why everyone was slightly annoyed with her. They were just as confused. Seeing Jacob's feelings about her must have brought up irritations that come with a brother in love with someone who isn't with him, and the pain that comes with that. They didn't want to see him hurt over someone who didn't make sense, who was confused and sided with the foe.

I must have dozed off because the next thing I remember is being cared to my front door. Jared held me against his chest, careful not to disturb me. He kissed my cheek before knocking on the door.

My dad answered, letting Jared carry me to my bed. Jared didn't chance a kiss with my dad watching, but he did whisper goodnight. I knew he would be back, but I also knew I'd be asleep.

"'Night," I mumbled, feeling chilled when his heat left me. My hand wandered to the edge of the bed, trying to seek him out, but he'd already gone.

My dad kissed me on my cheek, giving his goodnight before carefully closing the door. My room fell dark without the hallways light spilling in. I let sleep take me, relaxing into its hold.

I woke to Jared wrapping his arm around my waist, brushing my hair out of my face. He pulled me tightly to him, so I could feel his heat along my back.

"Did you have fun?" he asked lowly.

I shifted around so I face him, my cheek against his chest. I mumbled against his shirt, my words thick with sleep and almost unintelligible. "It was amazing. I didn't know… It answered… a lot of questions I didn't even know I had."

"Like what?" Jared muttered quietly. He held me close to him, his face in my hair and his lips brushing against my ear.

"We'll have to talk about this no aging thing," I said, trying to sound annoyed. I was too groggy to pull it off.

Jared chuckled softly, his chest vibrating. "Sorry, I forgot to tell you. I don't really think about it."

I lifted my head slightly, my words freed from his shirt. "Must have forgotten? How does something like staying young forever just slip your mind?"

"Not forever. Weren't you listening?"

I grinned, hugging him as best I could. "Yeah, I was listening."

We were quiet after that. Jared traced the small amount of skin on my lower back, revealed to him where my shirt had risen slightly. I listened to his heart beat, a strong, steady rhythm that lulled me back to sleep.

"I love you," Jared mumbled. His voice was low and husky, as though sleep was about to consume him like it was for me. I smiled; flattered I was his last thought before he let go.

"Love you, too," I answered back, my voice thick. My words jumbled together, but he knew what I was saying.

I disagree with the definition of infatuation. I'm still irrationally passionate about Jared and I'm convinced that will never change. I like to think my infatuation with Jared Thail was because the love of an imprint was and always has been there with me. It works both ways, binding me just as strong as it does Jared. He was just slow on the uptake. Our love is one in the same. We'll forever be entangled together, surviving what fate had planned for us and growing stronger with each lesson that was taught in each experience.

I was no longer that lonely girl in English class, drooling over the boy I sat next to. I no longer wrote our names together and dreamed of us together. I no longer hoped because I knew. I knew I loved Jared and I knew he loved me. There was no need to hope.

I had gotten my wish.

**Fin.**

* * *

**author's note: **_The end. My first full-length story completed. Thank you for reading along and helping me improve my writing. I think I've really grown as a writer and I have all you to thank for that._

_There will be Sam and Emily's wedding as the epilogue, so stay tuned. _

_I will probably give a little preview of my new story, too. So, the more you review, the faster you get your wish as well. :)_

_Please leave a review._

_Thank you all so much. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you all. I couldn't have done it without you. – Sunny (Little Black Dresses)_


	32. Epilogue: Wedding Bliss

_**Note:**_ _I'm in a hurry. I wanted to get this out because I think you've all waited long enough for the official end of_ Sweetly Addicted _– and another week would be unfair to all those who have been reading along. Point out all the mistakes (because I know there are plenty) and I'll fix them later. Enjoy the end._

* * *

Epilogue – Wedding Bliss:

_Vow – (noun; verb) solemn pledge; to promise something solemnly and seriously, dedicate somebody, assert or declare something_

I ran across my lawn, my dress shoes crunching the frozen grass. The frost kicked up like a soft fog behind every step before I hit the sidewalk. A soft clack sounded every time my foot touched the pavement. I was holding my hair in one hand and my dress in the other. My coat was slowly slipping of my shoulders and my breath fogged out in sharp pants.

I was late. The deadline was 9 am and it was ticking closer to 9:45 with each passing step. I was probably ruining my shoes at this point, but I figured it was better than getting my head chopped off. I'd never known Emily to be a bridezilla, but over the past couple weeks, with nagging from Mrs. Uley and her own mother, pulled through cakes, flowers, dresses, and men who thought it would be funny to get the groom completely wasted before the wedding, ending with the date being moved three whole days, Emily Young was ready to blow. I was surprised that she'd lasted this long.

And now, I was playing with fire and flirting with the devil, being a bridesmaid and showing up five minutes before the bride was suppose to walk down the aisle.

I ran right up the back gate, only to pause for a minute to catch my breath. I tried to compose myself, patting a curl that was falling out of my elaborate bun, smoothing my dress, and straightening the flower on my wrist – the one Jared had given to me a week earlier, so that he wouldn't forget it. It was still chilled from being in my fridge for seven days.

I took a deep breath before pushing the gate open. I was met with noise, people, and the color violet. Two family's worth of people stood around, mingling with white plastic chairs and drapery that I'd hung just the night before. I smirked to myself, taking in my hard work. It was impressive, if I did say so myself. After weeks of headaches and dreaming of that stupid alter that would not stay up, the backyard of the Little House was like a dream.

There was a clearing of the throat before Leah's soft voice was heard above the dull roar of the crowd, asking for everyone to take a seat. It was still a shock that Leah had accepted the position. Marriage is about promising your love and your commitment to each other forever and I didn't understand why she wanted to be a part of the love of her life's wedding to another woman.

I frowned, suddenly saddened by the thought of marriage itself. Being joined forever because you couldn't live without one another wasn't a melancholy topic. I shook my head, pushing the feeling away and plastered a bright smile on my face. I picked up my dress and marched quickly towards the back door where the wedding party was gathered in the kitchen. Emily had made me one of the bride's maids.

It had been hellish for the last couple months. I cried when Jared went off to fight a vampire army, created by some sadist vampire, hell bent on killing Bella Swan because it was her fault Victoria's mate died. I wasn't sure how a human, such as myself, could kill a vampire by herself, but Victoria was determined to make her pay for her crime.

During the hours spent waiting for him to come home, I bonded with Emily like I never thought I would. We were joined under unusual circumstances and, while others of my age were enjoying Prom, I was worrying if my date would come back alive. I just about fainted when I heard someone had been hurt. The screams and curses heard up the road was enough to convince me that Jared was the one in the bed of the truck, bent out of shape, and not Jacob Black. I was sorry that Jacob got hurt, but not enough to be sad that it wasn't Jared.

And then, during the summer where I thought things would finally calm down, Edward and Bella Cullen conserved a child, which I was told was impossible, and from that vampires from Italy traveled to little Forks in search of it. Because of the Grand Plan, Bella and her vampires came up with that involved rounding up vampires to help fight for their demon baby, Jared and the pack were forced to going into that battle – again not by choice, but default, to protect La Push. As it is, Jacob refused and split from the pack. Jared's loyalties to Sam never wavered, but he started having opinions about the situation. I backed him, of course, but still told him whatever he could do to stay out of the fighting was something he needed to consider. My measly heart could only take so much.

Jacob imprinted on the vampire-human child named Renesmee, which, by the way, is a horrible name. I wasn't aware that werewolves could imprint on someone outside the rez, but I guess after everything that had happened, anything is possible. It was the first time that I'd seen Jacob truly happy, so I couldn't object to it. But, with this new addition to the family, Leah finally decided that she couldn't take it anymore. She agreed to be Emily's bridesmaid, but after the wedding, she swore no one would ever see her again.

I took my place in line in the kitchen. Emily's friends from high school and her sister Mary were in line as well, looking beautiful in the purple dress that I couldn't seem to fill out. I regarded Linda for a moment, the tallest of Emily's friends. She was lean and slim, curvy in the right places and had a chest big enough for the dress we were all forced to wear. There was a burning sensation in the pit of my stomach, envious of the body I would never have.

"What took you so long? I called you, but no one answered."

I was jolted out of my jealous by a familiar voice. Jared stood next to me in this tux, looking even more handsome than what he usually looked like. His hair was combed back and his shirt was tucked in nicely. The only thing out of place was his tie; it wasn't tied. I regarded his expression for a moment, noticing he looked more worried than upset.

I smiled at him, feeling foolish for my envious thoughts. I should've been thankful for the one I had. My smile wavered for a moment as I wondered why I suddenly had these thoughts. I reached up and started to help him with his tie. "Woke up late," I said simply. "I'm here now."

He took a step closer, his forehead bumping mine as his breath brushed against my face. I smelt toothpaste. His hand brushed a curl out of my face and behind my ear, trailing down my neck.

"You looked beautiful," he murmured, leaning down to kiss my cheek.

My thoughts were knocked out of my head for a moment and I forgot what I was doing. Flustered, I picked up the tie again, blushing like it was the first time he kissed me. I noticed white in the corner of my eye and I knew Emily was ready to get married.

"Hopefully she didn't need my help this morning," I mused quietly to myself, patting the tie in place. I smiled up at Jared, watching the way his mouth curved into a smile for me.

"She would have been yelling at everyone anyway," Jared muttered, stepping out of the way for Mary. The kitchen was abuzz with motion and sound, trying to get the bride ready for the 30 seconds we had before walking out the door.

"Get in line, Kimberly!" Mary shouted, helping Emily with the veil. "Jared, stand next to – _NO PAUL!_ You go next to Sandy!"

Jared chuckled at the flustered bride's maid, winking at me as he held out his arm. I took it thoughtfully, watching Leah take the arm of Sam's Best Man, Ted. Ted had been Sam's best friend since elementary school and flew out from Oregon to be there. Leah seemed to know him well, giving him the best smile she had when she took his arm. He was frowning slightly as he watched Emily take deep breaths. He didn't know about imprinting and hadn't made an effort to show his approval of Emily – he still thought Sam had cheated out Leah.

I gripped Jared's arm tightly, wondering what would have happened if Jared imprinted on someone else. Even after all this time, I couldn't imagine my life without Jared in it. I couldn't even remember how I survived day to day without him, waking up next to him and being at his side as we battled high school.

I felt a flutter of panic when the marriage music started from the keyboard Embry had brought. I'd helped set it up on the small stage the pack had built where the band and toasts could be made. I'd made sure everyone could see the stage from where they were sitting when they mingled around the yard after the ceremony. However, I'd forgotten that I would be on that stage, where everyone could see me, with Jared on the opposite side. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to breath with at least a hundred pairs of eyes on me.

Jared seemed to sense my tension and placed a hand on my hand where it rested in the crook of his arm. He glanced down at me one more time before we started walking, winking at me to give some confidence to my sudden weak self.

Everyone was standing, gasping as Emily made her way behind us. I could hear her father chuckle and greet people as they walked, so proud that his daughter was getting married. I hoped my dad would do that someday.

I frowned again, letting Jared go as we walked to our sides. I didn't know why this wedding was putting me in a bad mood, but something about how happy everyone was and how they celebrated the couple so enthusiastically made me almost bitter about the whole thing.

The ceremony was interrupted ten minutes later by a rumble from the clouds and the pitter patter of rain as it started to dump on everyone at the wedding. I smirked slightly, thanking the Lord that we'd had enough sense to put canopies up. It may have been summertime, but the rain still came.

After the vows were said and Sam kissed his bride, all the chairs were moved and tables were brought in so people could eat or dance. A small band from Seattle played favorites of the, now, newlywed couple and any song that people suggested. They were good, but I still found a reason not to dance.

_The shoes I was wearing were hurting my little toe._

_My hair would fall out of the bun._

_I was hungry and rather eat._

Jared seemed put out that I hadn't wanted to dance with him, but shrugged and sat next to me as we watched little girls and uncles, mom and dad, sister and son-in-law, and Sam and Emily swing around the lawn to an old love song. I crossed my arms and pouted slightly, upset about something that I couldn't put my finger on. Jared watched me closely for a moment with a frown, but was distracted by Paul's loud announcement that he wanted to dance with Rachel Black.

I smiled at his tipsy state, still shocked that Paul had imprinted. Rachel protested for a moment, embarrassed at Paul's behavior, but smiled anyway and let herself be led to the dance floor. They were still a young couple – Paul had just managed to win her over – but they acted as though they'd been together for ever, unconsciously aware of each other as they moved about each other. I wondered if Jared and I were like that.

I frowned again, overcome by a sudden sadness at the thought. If Jared and I were like that, then maybe we'd be celebrating our love like Sam and Emily were. I blushed, glancing over at Jared who was laughing at Paul's bad dancing skills.

I wanted to marry Jared Thail.

I looked away, embarrassed with the thought and the feeling that burned brightly in my veins. We hadn't talked about marriage – we hadn't even made it out of high school yet – but the thought and feeling wouldn't leave me alone. I wanted to be in his life forever and, while we said 'I love you' we never gave our promises that we'd stay in each other's lives.

I wanted that promise. _I wanted to marry Jared Thail._

"Kim, are you okay?"

I was jerked out of my revelation by Jared's hand on my shoulder. He looked at me worriedly, rubbing his thumb into the skin not covered by my dress. I tried to smile at him, but gave him a nod instead – knowing the grimace would only upset him further.

Jared opened his mouth to ask me something else, but was interrupted by Leah's smooth voice over the speaker. It was time for cake.

I hadn't ever been to a wedding before. I'd seen them on television – especially where the bride and groom usually mashed cake in each other's faces. But, this wasn't anything like I expected. It was bittersweet watching the way that Sam and Emily gazed into each other's eyes as they carefully placed cake in each other's mouths. It made me nauseous, rolling my stomach because of how I wanted to do that so desperately.

Everyone clapped after they'd swallowed, except one person. I'm not surprised.

Leah Clearwater looked like how I felt. Her expression was one of disgust and when the cake was passed out, she sneered at the dessert as though to blame it for everything that had happened to her. It was so full hatred and anger that his teeth were bared for a moment, the frustration and sadness finally leaking into her cool façade. She slowly looked up at Sam and her face changed. An emotion flickered in her eye that I could only describe as envy. It passed so quickly, it was as though I'd imagined it. She scowled; her face turned dark as dropped her eyes to her cake again, as though contemplating whether or not to throw it at the groom.

I watched her for a moment longer, breathless from what I witness. I couldn't get over why Leah could sit there – why she agreed to sit there. Even with all the emotion, her bond to Emily must have been stronger than her animosity towards her. And then, I realized that she was still in love with Sam and if she felt even slightly as much as I did when I looked at Jared, I knew she was there because she'd still do anything for him. Anything to make him happy because she still had that urge, because she had to – no matter how much it killed her.

I frowned again, this time the sadness chilling my bones and making my hands shake. Didn't Jared feel that way? Didn't he have the same urge as I did, to scream how much he loved me all the time? I glanced up at him, my appetite lost and my heart cracking. Suddenly, I was aware of all my flaws – my lack of curves and how frizzy my hair was even with the product I lathered into it. I would never be Linda.

I stood up, ignoring Jared's worried expression as I excused myself and strolled right through the back gate. I ended up in the street before I stopped walking, not sure where I could go to release the tension that warped my body into an ugly shape.

I hiccupped, the tears staring to leak down my face. I curled my arms around me, feeling lost and rejected.

"Kim?"

I gasped, quickly wiping the tears away as Jared walked up to me. He stood there for a moment before reaching a hand out to try and touch me. I shied away from him, keeping my eyes on the ground. I was too weak and scared to meet his gaze.

"Why are you crying?"

I winced at the tone of his voice and for a moment, his pain was mine. I felt foolish for thinking he didn't want me, but then the fear clouded logic and I was left feeling even worse than I had been. I hiccupped back another sob, letting my shoulder slump over.

"You don't love me…" I muttered, looking away from his shoes. "You don't… not the way I do. We don't want the same things and you don't – "

_"What are you talking about?"_ Jared suddenly hissed. His voice stopped my words in their tracks.

My eyes slowly made their way to his face, anxious about what I'd find. I flinched from his anger, his furious expression that burned a hole right through me.

I dropped my eyes shamefully. This time, I let his arms wrap around me and pull me close to his chest. I felt his breathing and his hands gently rub my back.

"Kim, what have I done to make you think that?" Jared asked. His voice was low and, instead of being angry, he sounded defeated.

I pulled away slightly so I could wrap my arms around him, letting my cheek press against his starched shirt. His heat leaked through the fabric and I was gently soothed by it, the tears drying up. "You don't want to marry me… I'll be single – "

Jared jerked away. I looked away from him, embarrassed at my confession and angry that I'd said it like that. Now, I'd scared him away.

"Don't want to…" Jared ran a hand threw his hair, a crease on his brow as he sorted out my words. "Kim, what makes you think that?"

I fidgeted with the hem of my dress, feeling like a loser and an insecure little girl. I thought I'd grown out of that. I tried to take a deep breath and stop myself from being embarrassed about this, but I blushed anyway. "You – you haven't shown that you want to… I figured since – "

Jared cut me off, shaking his head, irritated. He dug in his pocket for a moment. "Here," he muttered roughly, pushing something into my hand without looking at me. "I don't know why you come up with silly assumptions… God, don't you understand how much I love you?"

He shifted nervously on his feet, raking his hand throw his hair. His eyes looked every except me and I realized he was just as embarrassed as I was. I watched his reaction for a moment before looking down curiously at the small object. My breath caught in my throat when I held up a simple silver ring. It was engraved with intricate patterns. There wasn't anything romantic about the moment, but I still felt something from the gesture.

I felt a tear slip and fall down my cheek. I had the sudden urge to scream because I was so stupid and pathetic and blind to everything that I had. I looked up, feeling faint because, again, my dreams were being thrown at me so fast I couldn't take them all in.

Jared was watching me intently, a worried frown on his face. I sniffled hold it up to him. "Will you put it on for me?"

He paused for a moment before grinning so hard his dimple was showing. I giggled when he gently took my hand and slipped the ring on – just like Sam had done to Emily, promising his heart to her. I felt like a princess, my prince charming finally claiming me as his forever and always.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging his as hard as I could. He didn't understand how happy he made me and how much I appreciated that he didn't run away when I turned crazy and stupid. He squeezed me back, his body tension leaving him in a heavy sigh.

"How long have you had it?" I asked, my voice muffled by his neck.

Jared chuckled sheepishly, his arms tightening around me. "A while."

I dropped back slightly so I could look at him. I frowned, confused. "Why didn't you give it to me sooner?" I blushed, ducking my head, wondering if there was something wrong with me. Why was I suddenly obsessed about marriage?

Jared pulled me too him, aligning our bodies and sighing into my neck. His embarrassment made me grin. "Just… I don't – I didn't think you were in the same place I was."

I laughed, sighing relieved. I played with his hair, twirling it around my fingers. The ring caught the light and it didn't look out of place on my finger. "Where did you think I was? I love you. Isn't that the same place?"

"Would you marry me right now, then?" Jared mumbled, his nose brushing against my earlobe.

I froze. My brain was suddenly fuzzy. My heart was floating out of my chest and I had to focus on my breathing. "I – I… are you asking?"

Jared didn't answer, just hugging me tighter to him.

I laughed breathlessly. "Jared, I'd love to."

He pulled away, looking at me suspiciously. He didn't seem to believe that I accepted him so quickly and without hesitation. "Really? Right now?"

When I started thinking about, I become conscious of the fact we were still in high school. My parents had just accepted Jared and saw him without hard looks. They would kill me if we got married now. Thinking about it made me cringe.

I frowned, letting my arms drop from where they were around his neck. "I guess I _will_, but not right now."

Jared smiled, taking my hand. "That's all I want."

Then it hit me. I was so stupid.

After all the years pinning after Jared Thail, hoping that the cool and rebellious boy would at least look my way, I'd gotten just that and more. Not only did he know my name, he loved me just as much as I loved him. And, he would continue to do just that – with or without a ring on my finger. Marriage was about celebrating love; it didn't make it official. We had already done that, with our secret smiles and soft kisses. Jared promised himself to me every day of the week – holding my hand, kissing my goodnight, and smiling at me with his dimples.

I didn't need marriage. I needed Jared.

"I love you," I said, tearing up again. My emotional out bursts were starting to rival Fran, Emily's pregnant, older sister. Jared whipped them away, his dark eyes watching me softly. My heart felt heavy in my chest, ready to burst from all of the sentiment. "That's all_ I_ want."

"I love you, Kim."

Yeah, I could live with that. _Forever._

* * *

**author's note:** _This was really hard to write. I don't know why. I don't like how it turned out, but it's the best I can do. I've written it so many times already. Maybe because it's the end. _

_I'll be posting teasers to me new stories (yes plural) in a chapter after this one – so don't hate me when it's not a new chapter. I'm not sure what exactly I'm going to write next, but I know that I'm not going to be able to stick to just one. _

_I have a new beta. Her name is _Bronzehairedgirl620._ I'm lucky to have her. She's written some amazing stories and I strongly suggest you check her out. She's in my favorites list._

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed/offered their words of wisdom. I really couldn't have done this without you. _

_Don't forget to leave me one last review! I haven't been able to response lately, but I will definitely be able to this time. _

_Thank you, Sunny (aka. Little Black Dresses)_


End file.
